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Cassie was crying and talking about combinatorics and aleph numbers.
Not good, thought Ezekiel, skulking self-consciously outside the hotel's ladies' restroom. Where was Stone when you needed him? He was the one who had the knack of talking Cassie down from her mathematical highs and hallucinations.
Two young women exiting the restroom stared at Ezekiel. He did his best to smile at them and project Not A Creepy Lurking Predator from every pore. "My friend's in there." He gestured vaguely. "The mathsy crying one. I'm just waiting for her!"
They looked pitying, and hurried away, heads bending together to whisper and then - Ezekiel scowled - giggle.
"Cassie?" he called. "You ... doing okay in there? Ready to come out yet?"
She didn't answer, just babbled and cried harder. Great.
Something had to be done.
He had been counting women in and out of the restroom for about ten minutes, and knew Cassie was currently the only one in there. "Cassie," he called, "I'm coming in." He stepped inside, shut the door behind him, and jammed the handle firmly so it wouldn't open.
Thiefdom and Librarianhood had taken him to many places, but - perhaps surprisingly - this was a first. Wow. Women's restrooms were fancy compared to men's. He glanced around, feeling slightly cheated.
She was sitting on a small padded chair beside a marble counter bearing vases of flowers, with mirrors behind it. Her face was red, her cheeks streaming with tears, her hands tracing things in the air. He leaned against the wall, and looked at her worriedly. "Try focusing on a memory?" That was what Stone made her do, right?
"I'm trying," she sobbed. "But it's too much. Did you know that axioms of countable choice - "
"Yeah, not interested. Why are you so worked up? I mean, so much more worked up than usual?"
"It was just too much! A sphinx at the Museum of Maths and I had to calculate the function to send it back in time while all around me were displays about maths and then you said we should come for lunch here and Einstein ate here once, Ezekiel, I think my brain-grape must be getting bigger because it's just too much, my head won't - usually functions are so calming but they're taking me over - and also combinatorics - and - "
Stone was visiting his family in redneck-land. Baird and Carsen were AWOL on some soppy date. Jenkins had muttered all last week about Shetland and then vanished with a load of umbrellas. Ezekiel was on his own. That had been great, when he and Cassie had been defeating the sphinx all nice and easy like pros.
Not so great now.
He sighed, pushed off the wall, and went to Cassie. Her damp eyes read things in the air he couldn't see, her fingers traced invisible geometry.
No one else was here. He'd have to deal with this his way.
Grabbing another chair, he sat down opposite her and then reached out and pulled her across to sit astride his lap. She stiffened, surprised, and he patted her hair soothingly. "Chin up, weepy," he said, and tried to stick his hands up her skirt, but got somewhat foiled by her tights.
"Ezekiel!" Outraged virginity - well, he'd always presumed she was a virgin, anyway - echoed in her voice.
"Look, I'm going to calm you down, okay?" He found a path into her underwear, but held back for a moment and stroked her stomach gently. "Doesn't look like you can do it yourself." He wrapped his free arm around her waist, firm enough to support her but not so tightly that she couldn't wriggle free.
"Not - never tried that - " she faltered. "Don't think it would work - raise my heartrate - bodily rhythms - " Her eyes were moving distractedly again, hands twitching. Probably looking at three-dimensional graphs of projected sexual arousal, Ezekiel thought.
"Big whoosh, then all calm," he advised her, and slid his fingers down past cotton and skin to the curls between her legs.
"All calm?" She swallowed, staring at something above his head. "Yes. Calm is good. The numbers are - make ... make the numbers go away ... please."
The last word was a sob.
It only took a moment of gentle, gentle touching before she began to dampen beneath his hand. Thief's hands, he thought complacently. I can do anything with them. He could tell that with each slow stroke, she was focusing more on her body, less on her mind. He wondered whether to speak, to give encouragement or praise, then decided not. That was Stone's style. He couldn't carry it off.
She suddenly gripped his upper arms, for balance. Good, she had stopped tapping at her invisible keyboard of arithmetic. He unwound his bracing arm and ran that hand up inside her blouse. Her breasts were warm, smooth, soft except for her nipples. When he began to stroke them she shut her eyes, tensing. "Exponential," she muttered.
Ezekiel didn't really talk Manic Girl Maths, but he hoped "exponential" was a good thing.
Judging her body ready, he slid a single digit inside her, still using his thumb to stroke her outer parts. She was tight and wet against his hand, and when he began to move his finger, Cassie whimpered. A smirk tugged at Ezekiel's face. It was nice, seeing her distracted by something that wasn't nerd stuff. Particularly nice, to know that he was causing it, him with his clever hands.
He swirled his thumb up to nudge her clitoris. She gave a really delightful squawk, then clamped her mouth shut with - yes, that was definitely a blush. Ezekiel's smirk became a grin. Muscles flickered in her throat as if she were swallowing exclamations. He hadn't meant to get involved at all - I'm just the hands - but he found himself leaning forward to kiss her neck. Her gasp ruffled through his hair. He added a second finger to the first, and settled them into a steady rhythm, counterpointed with deliberate swirls of his thumb. Her head fell back and he hastily ceased touching her breasts and rewrapped his arm around her waist. If she fell over, all his work would be for nothing ...
His own body was responding instinctively to the situation, warming and tightening, but despite the arousal he was actually startled to realise how uninterested he felt in progressing to anything mutual. Making her happy right now was making him surprisingly happy (also smug): apparently, that was enough.
Thoughtfully, he kissed her throat again, wondered if he should use his mouth on her breasts, and then decided that what he was doing already was enough. Her breath came raggedly and her eyes were screwed shut: he guessed she was getting near to orgasm. He added another finger, and she started to push back against his motions, finally not restraining her whimpering. He watched her face intently, and shortly saw the exact moment when she washed over into pleasure, even before her mouth fell open in a cry of release.
Spent, she slumped down against him, brow pressed into his shoulder. She was trembling. He listened to her breathing slowly level out, and smiled. Cautiously he slid his hand out of her underwear and turned his one-arm support into a two-arm hug.
"Thank you," she whispered. "The numbers went away."
"As planned by me, the mastermind. You can say thank you a few more times."
A tiny giggle against his shoulder. "Be careful of that ego."
"Too late, I already know I'm awesome." He kissed the side of her head, the only place he could currently reach. "Ready to go back to the Annex?"
"Absolutely."
They disentangled themselves cautiously, Cassie rearranging clothes and not quite meeting his eyes, but smiling. Ezekiel washed his hands and then strolled over to unjam the door. Opening it, he made a flourishing bow and gestured to Cassie to go first. She brushed some hair off her face, walked towards him - then paused.
"Ezekiel? I like your way better than Jake's. Next time, you can do that again." Her smile widened, and she walked out into the hotel corridor.
He laughed, and followed her, admiring the best hands in the world, the hands of a world class thief, the hands that just stole an orgasm.