Work Text:
“Breaking news out of Mindplace County tonight. Yet another person has been found dead in their home from carbon monoxide poisoning. It seems The Scientific Poisoner has struck again. It seems she yet again hacked into the home and disabled the new carbon monoxide detectors that were rolled out a few years ago now. This killer has been terrorizing the county in the past few years right after the new detectors were announced that they would be placed in all homes that could afford the cost. In other news don’t forget that next week the government will be looking at everyone’s search history that signed up to be matched-“ The TV turned off with a click as Remi sat back biting at his lip.
He couldn’t believe that no one believed him that the killer was a man. He knew the evidence and the way the people were dying were consistent with a woman killer but, the slow poisoning were consistent with a more manly approach. In all the research for his book he just knew The Scientific Poisoner had to be a male, it just doesn’t make sense for him to be a female. A knock sounds at the door that breaks him out of his thoughts a soft smile crosses his face as he bounds over to the door knowing his family was coming over tonight for their weekly family dinner. As he opens the door his mothers were standing there wide smiles on both their faces as they held out the fresh batch of cookies they had made just for the occasion.
“Ma! Motha! It’s so nice to see you!” after taking the tray from his Ma and setting it down he wraps his arms around their necks as quickly as he could loving the smell of fresh baked goods that always clung to them. The two women quickly embraced him back both kissing his hair bright smiles on their faces. His Ma pulls back first as she speaks a spring in her step “It’s wonderful to see you too our lovely cookie! Now are you going to invite us inside or are we going to picnic in your hall way?” Remi laughs loudly before pulling back from his Motha’s embrace gesturing into his apartment. “Come on in, sorry I didn’t start dinner yet they were running a special over serial killers of the past a hundred years that I just had to watch, and then the news came on with a breaking news bulletin and The Scientific Poisoner struck again late last night and they just recently discovered the body!” The two women in the door way smile at each other watching their son bounce around his apartment. Remi’s Ma coughs a bit “Cookie, dear lets go we can all cook together just like old times and you can tell us even more. But first, you’re Motha and I have something to ask you.” Remi’s head perks up as he turns around looking at his mother’s “Okay! Let’s go” Heading for the kitchen Remi still bouncing around as they all begin cooking together and talking.
Soon after dinner was done and set on the table as they all sat down for dinner Remi looks over at his mother’s. “Okay, what did you guys want to ask me?” His Ma took his Motha’s hand before looking over at him “Did you sign up for that match thing the government is doing?” Remi tilted his head before his Ma continued to speak “It’s nothing bad we were just curious as you spoke about doing it but never told us if you had decided to join it or not” Remi immediately smiled before nodding “Yeah, of course I did, even if I don’t get matched with my true love like Roman and Remus were, it would still be fun to have another friend.” A smile crosses his face as he thinks of the twins he went to college with. They were so different but it was fun, they helped him make a lot of the friends he had now. Shaking his head to clear it before he noticed his mother’s relaxing a bit smiles taking over their faces. His Motha speaks this time “That’s good, we were going to talk to you about not getting your hopes up as we have heard many of things about it going sour for people who are looking for their soulmate here” Remi couldn’t help it he laughed “I’m not looking for a soulmate Motha, I won’t complain if it leads to a relationship but a friendship would be just as amazing. Maybe someone besides Remus to understand my obsession with serial killers.”
Both his mother’s nod before smiling his ma speaking “well, if it goes well please let us know, we’d love to meet a new friend, or a new partner.” He nods before the clock his friend Virgil had given him when he moved in went off playing “This is Halloween”. His mother’s look at each other before smiling “We won’t be able to stay to much longer cookie, we have to open the shop tomorrow morning” Remi nods he knew his parents had a bakery that was their pride and joy, he had loved working there as a child and even as an teen. He eventually left the shop to pursue his college education. A few hours later found Remi googling up more on The Scientific Poisoner as well as carbon monoxide poisoning, he quickly lost himself in his googling and soon realized it was past the time he should have gone to bed. He shuts his laptop down a yawn on his lips as he heads to bed to get ready for his shift at the bookshop tomorrow.
The next day Remi found himself bored while restocking shelves. Sometimes he loved his job being able to help someone find that perfect book for them but other days like today he just had too much energy to actually be productive in his work. He hears the bell chime while he was reading a book about Ted Bundy and how he got away with it for so long. He knew he should go help the guest but, most people don’t need help finding a good book. His boss always had fresh baked goods, coffee, and a nice seating area if the guest decides to sit down to read the book they bought. While he was reading he hears a deep almost cold voice a bit of mirth in it from beside him “Are you supposed to be reading on the clock Remi?” Remi jumps a foot almost throwing the book and nearly smacking the man beside him before taking a deep breathe turning to look at the ice blue eyes of his regular customer.
“L you can’t sneak up on me like that! I almost hit you!” The man beside him was L a customer that had become a regular after they had a discussion over The Scientific Poisoner and Remi’s theory that “She” was actually a “He”. Soon after L had come into the bookstore regularly, mostly every time that Remi was working which is a bit weird as he had never shared his schedule but shook it off as predictable scheduling and L must have realized what his schedule was after coming to the shop while Remi wasn’t there. Remi quickly realized that L had asked him a question while he had been distracted Remi tilts his head a bit as L shakes his head. “I see that my question wasn’t heard, did you take your ADHD medication his morning first of all? And second, I asked if you heard the breaking news yesterday?” Remi had to smile when L had saw Remi one day sneaking a pill as he had forgotten his medication L realized that the times he spaced off wasn’t really his fault especially if he hadn’t taken his meds. “L, if I didn’t know better you actually care. But to answer your question Yes, to both of them.” L nods “Satisfactory, and I care about your performance as I’ve never met someone who asks such questions with such genuine curiosity, so it would be beneficial if you kept this job.”
Remi sighs “I could always give you my number L, that way maybe we could meet outside my work” As Remi was talking L shook his head “Unfortunately I only have one cell phone, and that is for work” Remi nods having gotten this answer before heading back to the front of the shop looking back at L. “Did you sign up for the government match?” L nods “at my parents request to as they say “Make friends” which I don’t see the point of but, it’s the first thing they have ever asked of me.” Remi nods “That makes sense, I’m glad there’s someone else who isn’t in the match for a soulmate.” L nods silently as he walks away as another guest walks in as Remi begins helping them. A few hours later finds Remi clocking out for the day L had left a little while ago truth be told Remi had a small crush on the man, how could he not, he was tall, dark, handsome, and with eyes sharp enough to pierce your soul almost. A ting sounds from his phone, as he takes it out, his eyes widen as a number appears on his screen he doesn’t recognize the number but opens the message a chill flicking down his back for the first time in his life besides when his Ma was in the hospital when he was a child. The text read “I’ll always be around. This number isn’t traceable so don’t bother. You better keep your little theory quiet before something unfortunate happens to that Tall friend of yours from the book shop.” His eyes widen as his heart skips a beat, but not in fear, oh no in excitement. He had read over it several times before realizing that the person texting him was none other than The Scientific Poisoner. He begins skipping home insanely happy that he was right! The Scientific Poisoner is actually a man!
Remi keeps this to himself everyday he would get a message from the killer with some message about the person he had hung out with that day. Everyone could tell Remi was on cloud nine but chose not to ask figuring it was his way of being excited about the upcoming match day. Soon that day had come and went the government sending out letters to the people who had matched along with the contact information the person who signed up was comfortable with the other person knowing about them. A few days later Remi checked his mail and saw the government official looking letter sitting in his mail box, he quickly took it out running up the stairs to his apartment flinging himself onto his couch ripping open the envelope quickly being careful not to rip the paper inside. An almost scream comes from Remi’s mouth as he recognizes the man in the picture. He had been matched with L! He couldn’t believe his luck, he quickly scanned through the paperwork explaining what search history they had in common as well as a phone number. Remi pouted as he thinks that maybe L lied to him a lot about his phone just being for work related things before he shakes his head to clear it, He hadn’t known L very long but it seemed unlikely that L would lie.
Taking out his phone he noticed a message from L already sitting there obviously he had received his letter the same day that Remi did and had actually taken the first step to reach out to him first. Quickly typing back Remi almost squeals in happiness as soon after L responds. He was happy that it was L he had gotten matched with, he knew L wouldn’t tease him for his questions or when he went on rants or anything of the sort. His eyes widen as he realizes he had an even bigger crush on L than he thought he did, the text tone on his phone sounds again as he looks down at it a smile on his face as L asks to call him as it was easier to communicate through a call rather than texting. When Remi texted back a quick “Yes! Go ahead” shortly after his phone goes off a call coming through as Remi quickly answers it almost shivering at the deep tone that washes over him.
“Greetings Remi, I see we were matched, I did not know you had such a big interest in serial killers and the possible motives behind their actions, I also see a match in a BDSM?” Remi almost squeaked as the tone sneaks even deeper at that mention. “Oh, yeah, I’m working on a book with a serial killer as the main character and I needed to get into that mindset, of course I’ve always been interested in it anyway, I was a weird child. And BDSM was a topic that was accidental whenever I did research about a victim being restrained.” A laugh sounds from the phone “I don’t think I’m ever going to be unstimulated in conversations with you Remi dear, also are you sure it was just for your writing?” A squeak comes from Remi’s mouth before he could stop it he had already been speaking to L for months so this shouldn’t be much of a surprise. “Well, we can talk about that later L, how about meeting for coffee somewhere?” a dark laugh yet again sounds from the phone “Alright Remi dear. We can table that discussion until you are prepared better to talk about it. Unfortunately I have work tonight and I know you have work tomorrow” Remi’s shoulders relax as L lets the topic be tabled for now he looked up at the clock before realizing that L and him had been talking for over three hours. “How did you know I worked tomorrow L?” “Remi, I visit that establishment every day after work. I know when your schedule is as it hasn’t changed in the three months since I met you.”
Remi relaxed back into his couch he knew L wasn’t stalking him, and with that confirmation he let L go so he could go to work. When he hung up he groaned as he realizes that he had forgotten to ask L what he did for work. He opens his laptop still having a few hours before bed he began searching up The Scientific Poisoner’s victims he wanted to see if maybe there was any connection like there was supposed to be. His eyes widened as he realized the people that were victims were all different ages, sexes, and seemed to have nothing connecting them. Remi wondered how they figured out this was a serial killer until all the killings happened at the same approximate time and the same way. Remi decided to delve deeper into the people who had died not really seeing a connection. He shut his laptop after shutting down the browser he was using.
Over the next few weeks L and Remi continued to talk Remi feeling close and closer to him every time they spoke. One Night both L and Remi didn’t have to work the next day they were talking while a breaking news bulletin came across Remi’s TV. “Breaking News, The Scientific Poisoner has struck again, this time a couple known for homophobic remarks and actions in the community. The couple was found yet again in their home having died from carbon monoxide poisoning. This marks the tenth death over the past two years for The Scientific Poisoner. Even the FBI is stumped on who this woman is.” Remi turned the TV off as L speaks in his ear “wait a second why did you turn that off? Don’t you like hearing about The Scientific Poisoner?”
Remi mutters into the ear piece he was wearing “Yes, it’s great living in the same county as a serial killer but they are mis-gendering him and it angers me.” Silence comes from the other end of the phone before L coughs “Ah, yes I forgot that you have the thought that TSP is a man and not a woman. Want to talk over your theory with me? We have spoken about this in the past but can you share your notes again on why you think this?” Remi squeals a bit before beginning to speak quickly about his theory, his evidence to support this theory, and why it makes sense. After Remi had been speaking for a solid hour L spoke up “Your theory is rather interesting and it does seem based on actual evidence.” Remi felt himself nearly preening in happiness at the praise in L’s voice.
“I’m so glad you think so, everyone else thinks I’m crazy” L’s dark chuckle sounds in Remi’s ear “well I do not think that you are of unsound brain, I know you took your meds this morning as you messaged me when you took them. So I don’t think that you are unsound, just you have a much better understanding of serial killers than most people do.” Remi smiles widely happy that L understood! “Remi dear, I have a question for you. Be honest with me alright?” Remi nods but then remembered that this was a phone call and L couldn’t see him. “Go ahead and ask L. You know I won’t lie to you.” “Hypothetically, if you were to meet TSP, would you turn them in? Especially knowing that they have murdered almost a dozen people in two years and most consider him dangerous.” Remi sighed a smile on his face “I could never do that to him. He’s a fascinating serial killer and he’s got everyone fooled into thinking that he’s a female, id applauded him. But no I wouldn’t turn him in.”
A dark laugh sounds from his ear “Of course, your too sweet sometimes Remi, you don’t work tomorrow correct?” Remi responds laughing a bit “Well you know the answer to that as much as I do L. No I don’t work tomorrow, just my mothers are coming over tomorrow night for our dinner night.” “Alright, how about you come over tomorrow morning? I’ll send you my address, there’s something I want to talk to you about that is much better spoken about in person.” as L’s tone once again dips into that lower range Remi shivers. “Alright L, yeah I can be there tomorrow, let’s say, 10 am?” “That will be fine Remi dear” after continuing to talk for a while they hang up the phone with plans to hang out tomorrow Remi was very excited as he falls into his bed that night.
The next day at exactly 10 am Remi knocked on the door to L’s house. The door opens quickly, L standing on the other side a smile on his lips as Remi’s brain short circuit’s because L’s shirt was unbuttoned more than Remi had ever seen and his tie was crooked and almost all the way undone. Remi struggles to talk feeling excitement flowing through his body as he wanted to kiss this man and have him pin him against the wall. “L you look hot!” L blinks a bit before laughing as he ushers Remi inside a hand on Remi’s waist directing him to the living room. The place looked sparsely decorated, but it still had a warmth to it that doesn’t seem normal for L as his touch on Remi’s waist was a cold touch. “Well Remi dear, I hope you know that I find you rather attractive as well. But before we speak about, other things. There is something you need to know. Remi tilted his head still a bit in shock at L’s touch still hovering on his waist as L reaches over turning on his laptop. When the laptop turns on L directed Remi’s face to the laptop making him look at it. Remi could feel his eyes widening wider than they had ever been as he sees a security camera vision of a person he had never seen before as they got into their house.
Remi looks at L, “What does this show L?” L leans in a bit closer to Remi’s ear whispering into it. “Can you keep a secret?” Remi feels his mouth run away from him as he asks “L, are you-?” a finger covers his lips as L cuts him off. “Your answer is yes Remi dear. The Scientific Poisoner is me. I really believe that I can trust you and I don’t think you will turn me in.” Remi shook his head moving L’s hand carefully before quickly leaning in and kissing him ferociously the knowledge that L was capable of everything TSP and was still almost gentle to him was too much. Remi quickly pulled away stuttering over his words. “No, I’m not, I wouldn’t turn you in, uh I probably should have asked before kissing you like that. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a while now and the knowledge of what you can do kind of made the desire worse. You’re really smart and hot a-“
Mid-sentence L had wrapped a hand around the back of Remi’s neck quickly bringing him into an even more ferocious kiss than the one Remi had caught L off guard with. The hand still around the back of his neck quickly grabbed onto the ends of his hair as the arm around his waist brings him closer to L’s body. After kissing for a while Remi pulled back from the kiss as L pulls back coughing a bit to get his brain back on track. Remi looked up at L, “Okay, is there anything else we need to talk about?” L reached over shutting his laptop off “That murder can wait. What I need to tell you is I have realized that I have developed romantic emotions for you over the past few months. But I need you to understand that my love can be very obsessive and dark. I’m loyal so you never need to worry about me cheating or anything like that but you know now that I do know how to get away with a murder.” Remi nods throwing his arms around L’s neck. “I love you too L dearest, I’m not afraid of you, I never have, you always answer my questions and don’t make me feel bad for my thoughts when they turn bad.”
L smiles for the first time since Remi had known him as he brings Remi closer to him sitting Remi in his lap holding Remi close. Remi leans his head into L’s neck cuddling with him a scent of sea-salt caramel and a metal tang smell clinging to L’s neck. A softness over taking Remi’s mind having not gotten much sleep the night before, to excited at the prospect of being in L’s home. A soft laugh sounds from L one that shakes Remi’s head and vibrates in his ear. “You’re a cuddle bug aren’t you Dear one?” Remi nods a bit worried that L wouldn’t like it. “Do you mind if I do some work while we cuddle then my dear?” Remi shakes his head “as long as you let me know if I get to be too much” L shakes his head “no my dear, I don’t think you will ever be too much for me.”
L presses Remi a little close to his body so he could bring his laptop close to him. Opening it and turning it on Remi looks up “What do you do for work by the way?” L smiles kissing the top of Remi’s hair “I’m a surgeon Remi dear. That’s my normal job. But as I am a specialist I’m not always needed at the Hospital.” Remi nods before cuddling closer to L as he hears L beginning to type away on his laptop. Remi knows it not the most conventional way to begin a relationship but he can’t bring himself to care. Here in L’s arms as he does his thing Remi is glad of the things he searches on a daily, and that he isn’t like other people. Especially since it led him to being held, and loved by this man.