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Buck doesn't know what is happening with Eddie, but lately, Eddie hasn't stopped looking at Buck like, he is puzzle Eddie can't quite figure out.
Which, Eddie as done all throughout this afternoon and evening after, they revealed and pushed Christopher on the adapted skateboard.
Even, now that they have put Christopher to bed, which for once the kid didn't even ask for a story, which doesn't surprise Buck at all. Because, Christopher was exhausted from the excitement of being able to skateboard and fell almost instantly after his head hit the pillow.
Now, that they are on the couch, watching tv on low volume, drinking beers and relaxing. Eddie is still looking at Buck like that.
"Eddie why are you looking at me like that", asked Buck getting more and more confused as to what the look means.
"Huh what", asked Eddie startled and confused at Buck's question.
"Seriously, man lately you only look at me like I'm a puzzle piece you can't figure out and it's confusing the hell out of me man", says Buck getting exasperated at not knowing why Eddie is acting that way.
That's when, Eddie suddenly looks away as if looking embarrassed and then looks at Buck once again, "How do you, do it?"
"How do I, do what?", Buck respond getting more confused by the minute.
Eddie, frustrated with himself, passes his fingers through is hair and takes a deep breath before replying, "How do you always know what do and what Christopher or other children need whitout limiting them?"
"I always wanted to know, just how you are able to be perspective about their needs and when it's the right time to step back or when you need to more involved with them"
It's Buck time to look away from Eddie then and take a deep breath. Buck then, stands up leaves the living room and returns a couple of seconds later with his wallet.
Buck, then takes out a picture out of it and hand's it to Eddie. When, Eddie looks down at the picture Eddie sees, a younger Buck with a little girl that looks like a carbon copy of Buck with almost exactly the same blue eyes, pale skin and thick curly hair. The little girl who can only Buck's daughter doesn't look like she can be older than 4 years old.
When, looks up again at Buck confused, he notices that look on Buck face is the most sad, serious, fond and grief stricken that, Eddie had ever seen Buck wear in the entire time they've been friends.
When, Buck finally starts to speak, Eddie can't help but, listen to him, " This was my daughter Sophia Maddie Ember Buckley and she was legally blind"
"That's how I know what to do with Christopher or other children."
"I had constantly other people and parents telling me what to do with my daughter and how I should limit her to keep her safe."
"They tought I would always listen to them because, I was a young single dad but, I didn't, I only took the advice that made sense to me and if she couldn't do some things like the other children could, I would adapt it so could still do it."
The revelation, makes Eddie look at Buck in shock but, also with dread with Buck use of pass tense when, referring to his daughter and the fact that Buck's eyes are starting to look misty.
"Buck is that why you have the letters S and B tattooed on your arm with little embers surrounding the letters."
As Buck looks and traces the tattoo with one of his fingers he responds "Yeah, I wanted to have something that I could always remember her by and I thought, well there is nothing more permanent than a tattoo, so I just went and did it"
When, Buck tears start leaking on his cheeks, Eddie tugs him closer so Buck can be buried in Eddie's side and so Eddie can hug him.
Eddie, knowing the way Buck is, knows that Buck has probably never revealed in of this to anyone. Eddie, only loosen a little of the hug when, he ses that Buck is ready to continue talking and that Buck is starting to wipe his tears from his face.
"God, Eddie she was the sweetest, always love to make people smile, so generous but, also could be sarcastic, mischievous, sassy and she could so shy at times that she would just hide behind me sometimes when tried talking to her."
"And sometimes I see Chris and he reminds so much of her and I know that those two would be bestfriends today if she was still here."
The way, that Buck's eyes still look misty, that they are now bloodshot and sadness that there is in Buck's tone just makes Eddie hug him tighter and position Buck so he is almost in his lap.
Eddie runs a hand through Buck as way to help comfort Buck and ask him in a calm and soothing voice, "Buck if you can't continue, you can stop and tell the rest when you're ready".
Buck shakes his head gently looks at Eddie with sad eyes, "No let me continue, I don't know if I will ever be able to finish if, I don't do it now, so please let me finish Eddie."
"Okay, okay", Eddie says two times and gives a kiss in Buck's hair.
"She was 4 almost 5 years old when, one day when we were still living in Peru, she was kidnapped and the authorities never found her or the people who kidnapped her"
While Buck is saying this there is anger that starts to appear on his face but, also sadness and guilt.
"Not that the authorities tried very hard to find Sophia or her kidnappers", Buck tone used to say those words is so bitter, furious and cold that Eddie almost flinched.
Eddie then, squeeze Buck's arm as if to ground Buck a little more, which make Buck relax a little bit and insights Buck to continue speaking.
"Sometimes I wonder if she still out there and alive or if I'm going to ever find what happened at least like that I could have closure which I don't have right now", says Buck looking wishful at the prospect of having to maybe have closure or to know if is daughter is still alive.
"You know she would have been 11 next September, 1 year older than Chris", says Buck still wishful and thinking of all the could've been if Sophia hadn't been kidnapped.
Both, stay silent for long moment afterwards because, Eddie needs time to register the magnitude of what Buck just told him and because Buck looks completely drained and exhausted from what he just told Eddie.
"Have you ever told anyone", Eddie finally ask Buck curious because, Eddie knows that Buck and Bobby are close -and that Bobby also lost his children if it was due to them being kidnapped or that maybe Buck told Maddie.
"No, your the first one I've told", replies Buck which shocks Eddie and caused Buck to snort at look on his face.
Which makes Buck reply to Eddie's look with, "Seriously, Eddie you know I don't have good coping mechanisms and that can be emotionally stunted at time even, when most people say I wear my heart on my sleeve, the thing that these people failed to realize is that I actually rarely trust to completely give my heart away"
Which makes raise an eyebrow at Buck as if, asking for an example.
"Actually, Eddie Buck 1.0 was just a really bad coping mechanism that resulted from not having closure from what happened to my daughter", say Buck exhausted, with eyes half closed and bloodshot - and snuggling into Eddie.
Which, makes Eddie come to the conclusion that they both need sleep after, this emotionally charged evening.
Eddie, then takes the decision to stand up with Buck still in his arms, Eddie is glad that he is a firefighter and that he can lift Buck easily. Because, Eddie knows Buck, which means that Buck would have barely slept and be exhausted in the morning if Buck slept on the couch, plus Buck is so tired that he doesn't protest or complain about being carried to Eddie's bedroom.
Eddie is also lucky that Buck is already wearing sweatpants and t-shirt, which what Buck can be seen sometimes wearing to bed -which means that Eddie doesn't need to wake up Buck who fallen asleep in his arms and can just move the covers of his bed - and deposit Buck on it.
After, Eddie gets in bed to his suprise, Buck starts almost immediately cuddling Eddie like an octopus in his sleep, to which he gives Buck a fond but, sad smiling remembering the magnitude of what Buck revealed tonight.
Before, Eddie falls asleep thinking of ways he could help Buck, he gives Buck a quick kiss into his hair for a second time that night.