Archive of Our Own

Dr. Brown was still talking. Bright could tell because his lips were moving, but somehow the sound of the man’s voice didn’t seem to reach Bright’s ears. He had stopped listening after Dr. Brown said that Colin was dead. He didn’t actually say those exact words. Doctors had to be more sensitive when delivering the news, especially when he was in Dr. Brown’s position and knew the parents and friends of the recently deceased. But it didn’t matter how delicately it was put, dead was still dead.

And even though Bright knew that Colin might not survive the surgery, he had convinced himself that it wouldn’t happen. He convinced himself that Colin would live and he would have his best friend back. And now he felt as if he had been punched in the stomach; felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him.

Amy was on her knees, sobbing hysterically, and his parents were trying their best to comfort her. They managed to get Amy back on her feet and stood on each side of her, holding her upright. Bright looked around and his gaze landed on Ephram, who stood slightly off to the side, away from the others. Their eyes met for a moment before they both looked away, shifting awkwardly. He turned his attention back to his parents and Amy, but they were gone, already halfway down the hallway. Bright couldn’t help but feel hurt at being left behind for the second time that day.

***

In the days that followed, Bright became a shadow. He blended in with the background and went mostly unnoticed by the other occupants of his house. His parents returned to work, but with school out, he had nowhere to be. He shut himself up in his room, coming out for meals and returning right after. While his sister had a nervous breakdown in the next room, Bright just faded away. And then one night Amy quietly crawled into bed beside Bright at two in the morning. He patted her back as her tears soaked through his T-shirt, and stared blankly up at the ceiling, wondering if anyone had even noticed he hadn’t spoken a word since the hospital.

***

The funeral was on a warm, sunny day. Bright thought it would be cold and rainy and was most disgruntled when he saw it wasn’t. It didn’t seem right that the world was so cheerful on the day Colin was laid to rest. Everyone cried, but not Bright. Bright had yet to shed a tear.

Amy refused to leave after the service was over. Ephram was the first to try to talk to her. She didn’t respond, only glared at him until he left her alone. As Bright’s parents tried to convince Amy to leave, Ephram walked up to Bright. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again quickly, placing his hand on Bright’s shoulder. Ephram’s hand ran down Bright’s arm to his hand, and he squeezed it gently before releasing it and walking away to meet his dad and sister. Bright stared after him and blinked back a sudden onslaught of tears.

***

Towards the middle of the second week, Ephram came by the house. Bright opened the door and stared at him silently. The other boy shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously. “Hi.”

“Amy’s not up for company,” Bright said. His own voice sounded foreign to him.

“I, uh, I’m not here to see Amy.”

Bright watched as the boy in front of him suddenly became fixated on his shoes. “Then why are you here?”

Ephram looked up at Bright from underneath his eyelashes. “I came to see you.”

Bright moved aside and allowed Ephram to enter the house. Ephram shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and lingered near the door while Bright crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “So…You really came to see me?”

Eprham nodded. “Yeah. I know it’s weird because we’re not really close. I mean, look how you thought I was here to see Amy. And yeah, okay, I usually would be here to see your sister--”

Bright held his hand up and Ephram stopped speaking, a blush creeping over his cheeks. A smile pulled at Bright’s lips. “You’re rambling, Ephram.”

The corner of Ephram’s mouth turned up in a half-smile. “Yeah. That happens on occasion. I just wanted to see how you were.”

“I’m fine,” Bright insisted. Ephram stared him down. Bright sighed and rubbed the back of his neck absently. “I’m still breathing.”

“I’m here, you know. If you wanna talk. Or not, whatever. You don’t have to talk. We could just hang out somewhere that’s not here…If you wanted.” Bright only nodded. “Okay, then. I should…I should go.” He turned and opened the door.

“Ephram?”

The boy turned and looked at Bright. “Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

***

The next day, Bright knocked on Ephram’s door. Ephram opened the door and stared at him wide-eyed. “Bright! Hey.”

“Hey. Can I come in?”

“Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

Bright entered the house and looked around, noticing the sheet music spread out over the coffee table. “If you’re busy, I can come back some other time.”

“I was just practicing. It’s no big deal,” Ephram said, collecting the booklets into a stack.

“Could you…” Bright trailed off as Ephram looked up at him expectantly. “Could you play something for me?”

Ephram nodded and moved to sit on the piano bench. He looked up at Bright. “You can sit next to me, if you want.” Bright sat down next to Ephram and shivered slightly as their arms brushed. Ephram glanced over at Bright. “I know that you loved him, too, Bright. Maybe even more than her.”

“Does it ever stop hurting?”

“Not completely. You’ll survive, but you’ll never completely heal…I used to play this for my mom,” Ephram said quietly as he began to play. “I’ve never played it for anyone else.”

Bright watched as Ephram’s long fingers moved gracefully over the keys and then moved his eyes up to Ephram’s face. Ephram was completely in his element and Bright had never seen anything more beautiful. He didn’t realize he was crying until Ephram stopped playing and turned to him, gently swiping his thumbs over Bright’s cheeks.

Bright pulled away and rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry. Sorry.”

“Hey,” Ephram said, catching Bright’s hands and holding them between his own. “It’s okay. Really.”

Bright looked down at their hands then back up at Ephram, who was staring at him earnestly. Before he could stop himself, Bright leaned in and kissed Ephram. He fully expected Ephram to pull away, but he didn’t. Ephram kissed him back and let his tongue slide over Bright’s bottom lip.

Bright pulled away and looked at Ephram. “What about that? Was that okay?”

Ephram licked his lips. “Yeah. That was just fine.”

For the first time in a long time, Bright felt alive.