Chapter Text
There was a twisted game the teens of Carp, Texas played.
Its name was only heard in hushed whispers; in the sometimes excited and frequently fearful eyes of high school students who know that someday soon, it would be their turn to play.
Panic.
The game that would test you, push you. Oftentimes, break you.
But if you won, your freedom was all but secured.
The only catch was that you couldn't play alone.
Only couples were allowed to enter Panic - because you never knew true fear until the person you love was in danger right alongside you.
It wasn’t always run this way - Panic was once a game that all graduating seniors were welcome to play.
But frequently, couples would refuse to participate unless they could play as a team - no one wanted to be in competition with their significant other.
So the game evolved.
Heather Nill was very familiar with the unspoken rules of Panic, because her best friend Natalie was spiraling over them.
“I’m never going to find anyone,” the brunette bemoaned as she frantically flipped through her yearbook at potential partner options. “If we’re not officially dating a week from now then I won’t be able to play. And I haven’t even met anyone yet.”
Heather lay on Natalie’s bed and watched her best friend, slightly amused. “Did you ask Bishop?”
Natalie gave her a pointed look. “There’s no way he’d play. He wouldn’t even do it if you asked, and he actually wants to date you.”
Heather’s face flushed slightly. “He does not, Nat, give that up already.”
Nat flipped her hair over her shoulder, looking unapologetic. “Just calling it as I see it.”
Heather rolled her eyes, but before she could continue to argue, Natalie’s attention was caught.
“Hang on a sec,” she breathed. “What about him?”
Heather peered over at the yearbook, where Nat had placed her finger on one of the photos.
“Dodge Mason,” Natalie said quietly, a spark lighting up her eyes.
Heather furrowed her brow. “He’s new, right? Moved here this year?”
Natalie nodded, staring intently.
“No one really knows anything about him.”
A slow smile appeared on Natalie’s face. “Exactly. It’s kind of perfect.”
Heather wrinkled her nose slightly as she heaved herself off of the bed. “I personally consider that a red flag, but since nothing I say will stop you, go for it champ. I gotta get to work, okay?"
Her friend nodded in acknowledgement, clearly already beginning to plot how she was going to make Dodge Mason her boyfriend by week's end.
"Let me know how your seduction goes, yeah?”
Natalie playfully threw a pillow at Heather as she left.
Natalie had been planning to enter Panic practically since the day they'd learned about it in eighth grade; one of their classmates' brothers had competed, and the beans had been spilled to practically everyone in their grade.
But the mundane drama of high school - of grades and gossip and overbearing parents - usually meant that thoughts of the game faded far into the background.
Hence why Natalie was working on such a short timeline.
But Heather had always been the practical friend. The one who's feet were planted firmly on the ground, her head solidly out of the clouds.
Even if her heart sometimes whispered that it might like to give flying a try.
She would not play a risky, dangerous game like that. Not when she had money to make and a sister to care for.
Entering Main Street Wireless, she was surprised to see Danny standing behind the counter, looking uncharacteristically somber.
"Hey Danny, what's up?" she asked.
Danny sighed. "Could we talk in my office?"
Nodding, she followed him into the back and sat down on the opposite side of his desk.
"Heather," he begins, "You're one of the best employees here. Which is why it's such a shame that I have to let you go."
Heather's heart dropped. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
"It's nothing you did," he continued drolly. "Money's just tight right now, and we just can't afford to keep you."
She felt dizzy, but managed to craok out, "Starting when?"
Danny grimaced. "I can get you paid up for last week."
Once at home, Heather slumped into her room, feeling defeated. She needed that job. Her entire future had depended on it - and she was so close to reaching her goal of having enough to enroll in community college classes and to try and make something of herself.
She could try and find a new job, but what would be available now that summer had already started? Most jobs people her age managed to get started hiring in February.
In a bid for sanity, Heather pulled her shoebox of money out from under her bed. She propped the lid open to remind herself how close she really was, only -
The money was gone.
“What the fuck,” she whispered.
Wondering if she'd made a mistake, she dug through the box again, with no success. She checked the rest of her drawer, under her bed, and on the floor.
Nothing.
A thump sounded from the other room, and a dawning sense of realization came over her.
No.
No fucking way.
Heart in her throat, Heather slowly made her way into the living room.
Sherri Nill sat on the couch in from of the television, smoking a cigarette with her hair a frizzy mess and her eyes slightly glazed.
Heather already knew what the answer was, but she had to ask.
"You stole my money."
Sherri didn't move, but her eyes flicked over to where Heather was standing, arms crossed and expression hard.
"You had," her voice shook with fury, "no right to any of that."
Sherri blinked, and her mouth twisted up at the corner.
"My car needed fixing," was all she said.
Heather's fists clenched. "I fucking earned that money, it was for fucking school - "
"You think you don't owe me?" Sherri's voice raised to be heard over Heather's. "For the place to live and the clothes and the food - "
Heather slammed her fist down on the living room table.
"What food?"
The room grew deadly quiet, tension still simmering in the air.
Heather could barely take in any air, her mind fuzzy with anger.
Making a decision, she turned and grabbed the keys to the car. Sherri's face soured.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Heather held the keys so tightly she could feel the metal Digging painfully into her palms.
"Out. My money paid for the repairs, after all."
Sherri continued to holler protests at her back, but Heather didn't listen as she slammed the trailer's front door and got in the car.
She drove around for awhile.
Heather just wanted some time to clear her head, so she made her way through almost the entirety of the tiny town. It only took about ten minutes to do this, though, and in her indecision on where to drive next, she suddenly noticed her surroundings.
Heather had never really been to the boatyard, But looking at the calm waters of the harbor, she decided it might be a good option for her.
After all, she desperately needed a place to think.
Parking the car and getting out, Heather made her way over to the edge of the dock and sat down, her legs dangling a few inches above the water.
She stared down at the gentle sway and wondered with a sense of despair what she was going to do now. All her hard work was just... gone. Not a dime to her name.
She considered very briefly asking Bishop for help, but dismissed the idea almost immediately. She was not going to be indebted to someone like that, not if she could help it.
Her mind then turned to Natalie, and how she was getting ready to play -
She froze.
Panic.
It was an insane idea. Heather had always sworn to her friends that she would never, ever play.
But maybe...
Well. Maybe it was her only option left.
Taking her phone out, Heather found Bishop's contact information, and slowly began to type out a text.
Heather
hypothetically, is there a world in which you would play?
She waited with baited breath, and a minute later three dots appeared, signaling Bishop's reply.
When it came through, her heart sank.
Bishop
literally not a single one lmao. not even if the prize was like 3 mil or sumn
Blinking hard, Heather set down her phone.
Right, so Bishop was out.
Maybe he would change his mind if he knew her situation. She had a feeling that her best friend would put aside his feelings if it would help her.
But she also knew that without that drive to play, there was no way the two of them would win.
He couldn't just be in it for her; he would need to want it for himself, too. That was what made a winning team successful.
"Well well well, if it isn't Heather Nill."
The sudden voice startled her, and Heather jerked her head towards the sound. She was unnerved to find Ray Hall standing on the dock, head tilted in amusement as he watched her.
"What're you doing on this side of town this time of night?" he drawled, making his way over to where she was sitting.
"I could ask the same of you," she retorted, still feeling caught-off guard. "Where the hell did you even come from?"
Ray pointed his thumb behind him. "The boat? It's mine."
She and Ray Hall had never really had a full conversation; especially not one that was just the two of them. Oftentimes he would show up when she was with her friends, and she would see him around school (he was hard to miss - large physically and a loud, obnoxious personality), but never just her and him.
She wasn't really sure whether to be nervous about that or not.
He heaved himself to sit down on the dock next to her. Heather noticed that he was loosely holding a beer in his hand.
"What, uh." She watched him settle himself and begin to kick his legs. They were long enough to reach the water, and thus he created splashes that luckily didn't come towards her. "What were you doing out there?"
His genial smile became a leer as he turned to face her. "You wanna hear about what I do at night on my boat?"
Feeling a surge of annoyance, Heather plastered a sickeningly sweet expression on her face.
"Absolutely fucking not," she said. "Asshole."
Not seeming even the slightest bit hurt by this, Ray chuckled. "You never answered my question. Why're you hanging around where people like me spend their time?"
Heather shook her head. "Temporary insanity, I suppose."
Ray nodded sagely. "Sure, makes sense. Get frequent bouts of that?"
"Fuck off."
They both smiled, and a weird sort of - quiet, settled over them. Heather couldn't quite believe it, but sitting here beside Ray Hall was kind of - not the worst place to be at the moment.
Which wasn't saying too much. But still.
"I'm lookin' to play Panic," Ray said finally, breaking the silence and surprising her. "Was taking some time to think through strategies. Mentally prepare and shit."
She squinted at him. “Didn’t your brother like, win Panic?”
Ray nodded absently. “Yeah, back when it was single player. I got fuckin’ ripped off, if you ask me.” He heaved a sigh, leaning further back onto his hands. “Can’t compete ‘cause I don’t have a fuckin' girlfriend.”
Heather studied him. “Please know that I do not mean this in the way that you’re going to take it, but couldn’t you just ask, like, literally anyone, and they’d probably consider it?”
His teeth were bright white against their dark surroundings as he grinned up at her. “I am the most charming guy around, that is true.” Ray set his beer down and his smile tempered. “But I’m playing to win, sweetheart. I can’t just pick anyone.”
The sentiment hit very close to what she had just been thinking about before he arrived. Heather nodded.
“So no one’s been good enough for you yet, then?”
“Something like that.”
Heather had to suppress some kind of hysterical laughter - if someone had told her before today that she would be sitting (somewhat) comfortably next to Ray Hall, she would have thought they were insane.
“Yeah, well I’m not struggling because I’m being picky. There’s just literally no one for me to ask.” On a whim, she snatched his beer up and took a long drink.
His eyes, which had already been on her, sharpened as he quietly asked, “You wanna play?”
She tgnored the way the low timbre of his voice made something in her stomach swoop and replied, “I have to.” She locked her gaze onto his. “It’s the only way I’ll get out.”
Ray nodded slowly, humming in understanding.
Heather had never once considered why Ray Hall would want to play Panic. It always seemed like a given - he’d always been reckless; it’s the perfect game for him. But here, sitting beside him with the night sky above them, she began to realize that maybe it was for the same reason as her. As everyone else.
“But I probably won’t end up playing.” She looked away from him and resumed swinging her legs for something to do. “No boyfriend, no Panic. It’s a nice dream though.”
She wanted to lighten the mood with a joke, or a jibe that would end this strange moment between them and return to a semblance of normalcy, but she never got the chance.
“What if,” Ray began, in a careful tone of voice she’d never once heard from him, “we played together?”
Heather blinked. “Uh, that’s not possible.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? And why’s that?”
Heather spluttered. “Uh, first of all, because we’re not a couple?”
Ray blinked. “Says who?”
Indignant, Heather made a squeak of protest and gestured wildly. “Fuckng - everyone? The two of us, most importantly?”
Ray picked up his beer again and took a swig. “So we start telling people that we are. Problem solved.”
Heather could not believe what she was hearing.
“Who the fuck would believe that you and I are-“ there was no way she could use the word dating, “-a thing?” The mere idea was absurd to her. They were both so unlike one another's type it was laughable.
He leaned in until his face was close to hers, smirk blossoming across his lips. His penetrating gaze met hers. “I guess we’d have to be real convincing, huh?”
Traitorously, her breath hitched.
“If we played it right, we wouldn't even need to say the words, to anyone.” His eyes, which were normally a pale blue, teemed with storm clouds. “I’d drive you to parties, you’d get out of the car with messy hair and smudged lipstick. We’d both disappear halfway through and be back by the time your friends are looking to make sure you get home safe, and the mark on your neck would tell the whole story.”
Heather’s face felt like it had been pressed way too close to a fire, and she tried to keep the tremor out of her voice as she said, “We only have like, five days. How are we supposed to get everyone to believe us?”
His nose touched hers and his grin was smug.
“Word travels fast around here, sweetheart.”
Heather thought about what this could mean for her; the ability to enter Panic, winning the prize money, securing a life for her, and for Lilly.
She thought about what she had considered earlier; she needed a partner who wanted it.
Taking a deep breath, Heather held Ray Hall's gaze.
"What do we do first?"
To enter Panic, the rumor mill of the graduating seniors needed to know the two people entering are in fact a couple. Otherwise, when the event actually began, the judges wouldn’t allow them to play.
It hasn’t completely sunk in yet, the idea that she was going to play. Or the fact that she needed to date Ray Hall to do it.
Pretend to date. Whatever.
Ray had suggested that their first outing be Shawna’s graduation pool party, which was predicted to be the wildest one of the year. Even college kids would be coming.
“It’s a perfect cover story. We say we got trashed and hooked up.” Ray had waggled his eyebrows. “After which, of course, you just won't be able to stay away.”
She’d scoffed. “Gross. But fine. That works.”
Now she stared at her reflection in the mirror somewhat despairing. She’d never had much room to care about her appearance, with working a job since eighth grade and (somewhat foolishly) waiting for her best friend to ask her out for a number of years.
But now her tankini swimsuit felt childish and stupid, particularly as she was supposed to be hooking up with Ray Hall tonight.
Heather put her head in her hands and groaned pitfully.
Guess it was time to call Natalie.
She hadn't told her she was planning on entering the game yet = there really had been no good way to do it. She would simply have to hope that her friend would understand her reasons when the time came.
But she was getting ahead of herself.
First, she had to get people to believe the lie.
“Hey, Nat,” she said as her friend picked up the phone. “I could use your help.”
Nat was gleeful at the prospect of Heather “letting loose” at a party.
"This is gonna be so great!" she enthused as she ran a brush through her friend's hair. "I'll get to have some fun with Dodge, and you'll get to make some new friends."
"Why would I need new friends? Oh right, you'll be ditching me. Guess there's no time like the present to find some new besties."
Natalie rolled her eyes. "And I'm the dramatic one."
Finishing up, Natalie inspected her work.
"I think you're ready to go!"
Heather studied herself in the mirror. She looked like herself, just - more.
Natalie had insisted the swimsuit was fine, but had also let her borrow a flowy, white cover-up that Heather had to admit looked super cute on her.
"We should get going," Heather said. "I'm pretty sure the party started like an hour ago."
Natalie shrugged. "Then we'll be right on time."
Heather had never felt more out of place as she stood among a crowd in Shawna's backyard. Everywhere she looked, teens were whooping, splashing, and drinking their hearts out.
Nat had found Dodge fairly quickly, and had shot her a brief apologetic look as the two had wandered away. Heather didn't begrudge her friend this. After all, she had her own mission to attend to.
“So, you come here often?”
Heather had to fight every single instinct she had that was telling her to screw her face up in disgust. Slowly, she turned to face a grinning Ray, who held a red cup loosely in his large hand. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which she knew was pretty commonplace for him. Frankly, it had been notable that he had been wearing one the night they met at the boatyard.
“For the record, that is literally the stupidest thing you could have possibly chosen to say,” Heather said with a saccharine smile on her face.
Ray tipped his cup at her. “Why would I bother trying too hard when I know I’m gonna score?”
“Jesus Christ, you’re disgusting.” She aimed a swat at his arm, hoping it looked playful to anyone who happened to be looking. It was extremely hard for her to not put any extra force behind it, like she so badly wanted to.
“I only heard the first half of that sentence, which sounds to me like a compliment.” Stepping in a bit closer, his eyes lowered to study her cover-up. “You clean up pretty nice, Nill.”
Heather’s hand, which she belatedly realized was still on his arm, squeezed. “Kind of a backhanded compliment, honestly.”
“Can’t you say anything to me that isn’t hostile? You keep this up and it’s gonna be pretty hard for us to make out in a little bit.”
Her heart took a nosedive. “I’ve kind of been blocking out that part of the evening.”
His smug expression, which had held pretty steadily throughout their conversation, sort of - shuttered, and he stepped back from her slightly. Heather released her grip on him.
“You still wanna play, right?” Ray tipped his cup up to his mouth, seemingly as a way to avoid her gaze.
Heather bit her lip. “Yeah, I do.” After a pause, she added, moer quietly, “So, uh, when do you wanna-“ She gestured vaguely in the air around them, “-you know.”
The corner of his mouth quirked upward. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll grab you when it’s time.”
When it’s time. Not ominous at all.
“Right. Okay. Sounds good.” She was about to turn away when she noticed a pretty girl eyeing Ray, looking as though she was about to approach.
Heather had a stupid idea. She took a deep, steadying breath.
Ray was clearly taken aback as she stepped up to him, invading his personal space. She leaned her face up close to his; so close their noses brushed together.
His eyes had gone wide, and Heather realized with a dizzying sort of clarity that she’d never seen an expression this genuine on his face before.
“See you later, then.” She nodded, once, before pulling away and escaping into the crowd to avoid his burning eyes.
Heather was on edge the rest of the night, waiting.
She watched Natalie flirt with Dodge for a while, then went and sat next to Diggins, who was notorious for being kind to virtually everyone, regardless of social status. He was also widely known to be this year's Panic emcee.
She managed to distract herself with small talk, but she couldn’t make herself stop thinking about what was to come.
Obviously, it wouldn’t mean anything. But Heather wasn’t exactly the most experienced person, in that department. Random hookups were certainly not her style.
They sure were Ray’s though. She was pretty sure that he had hooked up with the entire women's soccer team and cheerleading squad. Or so rumor would suggest.
Heather had purposely tried not to drink too much so far that night - while a little liquid courage was helpful, she didn’t want anyone to accuse her of being completely out of her mind when she’d hooked up with Ray Hall.
Then again, the act itself would warrant such a response, even with no alcohol at all.
Another half an hour went by, and she was just beginning to feel a buzz when she heard a familiar voice beside her.
"Nill."
Ray was beside her, and she realized with a sinking feeling that it was probably time.
Right.
She downed the rest of her drink, before turning to Ray and squaring her shoulders. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”
Ray’s smile was a bit sardonic as he led her away from the assembled crowd. “The words every man dreams of hearing.”
Heather recognized that they were headed for his car parked in front of Shawna's house, and she narrowed her eyes at him.
“You’re not gonna like, kidnap me and bury my dead body in the woods, are you?”
Ray sighed in exasperation. “You might be the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.”
Heather scoffed. “Have you ever met Natalie? You might not run in the same circles, but it only takes one interaction to know that the drama is real with her.”
They stopped at the hood of his car. But instead of walking around to the driver’s side, Ray slapped his palm onto the hood.
“Up you go,” he cajoled, smirking. “Gotta get this show on the road.”
The nerves she’d managed to keep at bay flooded back to her in full force, and Heather swallowed.
Think of it as practice, for Panic. Face your fears.
Even if fear wasn’t necessarily the only emotion running through her.
She pressed her palms down onto the car and hoisted herself up, making an incredibly undigniied sound as she went. Ray seemed amused as he watched her.
“Shut up,” she grumbled.
He pulled himself onto the car beside him.
"So," he tried again, "you come here often?"
It made her laugh this time, but that might have just been the nerves. Regardless, he smiled in return.
"Do you want me to, uh." Heather moved so that she was facing him, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Like, get on top of you, or something?"
Ray snorted. "I mean, if that's how you like to do it-"
“God, I should’ve had a few more drinks,” Heather said, laughing awkwardly. "This would have been way easier."
A serious expression fell across his face suddenly. “You need to be wasted to make out with me?”
She was taken aback by the question, but decided to consider it honestly.
This close to him she could smell him, woodsy and masculine, and she realized, with a vague sense of horror, that she wasn't going to hate this.
“I guess not,” she murmured.
It was all the permission he needed. Ray slid his hand into her hair and pulled her face forward until their mouths connected, and they were kissing.
Heather had kissed a few different people (only like three or four, though, so not exactly a ton.) But the way that Ray's kiss lit up her insides was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. Like dousing gasoline onto a flame.
His mouth was hot as he coaxed her lips to open under his, and Heather couldn't stop the tiny moan that escaped her as their tongues met. He clearly noticed it, as he gripped her tighter and began to pull her onto his lap.
Her heart was thundering in her ears as she slid her leg across his solid frame to settle on the other side of him.
With easier access, Ray's hands began to wander across her body, lighting every inch of sensitive skin he touched on fire. She slipped her hand into his hair in retaliation, and tugged on the strands.
The groan he let out in response made her body throb.
When neither of them had any breath left in their lungs, their lips separated noisily and they both panted for air.
Heather blinked rapidly to try and refocus her vision, still in a sort of daze.
A sound to their right caught her attention, and Heather glanced over. A partygoer was staring at them in shock, but when he noticed Heather's gaze he quickly scurried away.
"I think-" Heather had to clear her throat, as her voice was raspy, "-that we made our point."
Ray seemed to have followed her gaze, and nodded slowly in agreement.
"Yep."
For a second, neither of them moved.
"So, I should, uh." Heather began the uncomfortable task of extracting herself. "You know. Get-" She caught herself just in time from saying off. "-down."
She was expecting Ray to make a crass joke of some kind, but he remained uncharacteristically quiet. She decided that she wouldn't question this stroke of good luck.
"I'll see you later?" She'd meant for it to come out as a statement, but it ended up sounding more like a question. She got down from the car and began to straighten her clothes and hair a bit.
When he didn't answer, she turned to look at him.
"Ray?"
This seemed to jolt him back to the present, and he quickly nodded. "Right, yeah. We'll know soon, about the game." He studied her for a moment, before turning away. "I'll be in touch."
It was a weirdly formal ending to - whatever that had been, but Heather was just desperate to be anywhere else, at that point.
"Sure. I'll... see ya."
Heather walked back to the party with her lips still burning.
"Heather!" Natalie had spotted her and was jogging over. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Dodge just agreed to go out with me, like on a real individual date!"
Heather was still feeling a bit shaken as she managed a smile. "Nat, that's awesome."
They agreed to head home, and the two girls began weaving their way back towards the front door. On their way out, they passed by Diggins, who Natalie beamed at.
"Hey Diggins! Did you hear the new guy might get to play this year after all?"
Diggins rolled his eyes, clearly knowing that Nat was referring to herself as well. "There might be a rumor about that."
"It's just interesting, that there can be such last minute additions." Nat aimed an airy smile at the emcee before moving to leave.
Heather caught Diggins' eye. He smiled knowingly at her.
"Unexpected things have been known to happen around here," he agreed, turning his gaze away. Heather followed it to find Ray, splashing in the pool with his friends.
With a start, Heather realized -
somehow he knew about her and Ray.
And if someone had told Diggins what they'd seen, then that meant that...
They were going to play Panic.