Chapter Text
Eddie’s eyes closed and Buck’s world crumbled.
If he doesn’t get to him, Eddie’s going to bleed out. This couldn’t be happening. He felt himself being held against the asphalt, but Buck didn't stop fighting until he broke free from their hands. His only thought was Eddie, Eddie, Eddie .
He threw whoever was holding him off, and could hear a distant “Get down, damnit! What are you doing?” Buck’s mind echoed his new mantra, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, as he rushed over, grabbed Eddie, and dragged him back behind the firetruck as best as he could. Adrenaline and panic fueled his actions.
He sat with Eddie’s back against his chest, a hand applying pressure on the bullet hole. Eddie Diaz was damn well not dying today. Buck used his other hand to run his fingers through Eddie’s hair, repeatedly whispering “I’m here, I’m here”.
The next hour went by in a flash, squad cars showed up to the scene and the hail of bullets stopped raining on them for a moment. Paramedics from the 133 tried to take Eddie from him, but Buck wouldn’t let go. He helped them carry Eddie into the awaiting ambulance once they realized there was nothing they could do to get Buck to leave Eddie’s side. The entire trip to the hospital Buck didn’t let go.
He knew people were staring at him when they walked in; he felt the way Eddie’s blood was trailing down his face, slowly flowing down his neck, some of it already dried. Buck had to be pried away from Eddie when doctors came to take him to surgery.
It was good they could take him in immediately, wasn’t it? Buck told himself it was a good sign and Eddie would be fine, but he didn’t believe it. He wasn’t sure if it was because he couldn’t or he wouldn’t.
Hospital staff tried to tell him he had to wait outside, but he put up enough of a fuss they let him be in a waiting area. He didn’t sit down; Buck paced back and forth relentlessly. Someone suggested he go to the bathroom to clean up, but he shook his head mumbling about staying there for Eddie. He was brought a towel instead, which Buck accepted.
Everything was numb. Buck ran his fingertips gently over his sternum like he was fiddling with a phantom Saint Christopher necklace. Christopher .
Shit, shit, shit.
And then Athena was there, pulling Buck into a hug and he broke down in her arms. He cried like he hasn’t ever cried in his life, his hands kept a death grip on Athena as she guided him to the ground. He must’ve said something between sobs because she shushed him, promising she’d call Carla. All he needed to do was be here for Eddie and let Athena worry about the rest.
Another lifetime passed until a doctor came to find them with news about Eddie. Buck jumped to his feet and ran towards the doctor. If it wasn’t for social distancing, he probably would’ve tackled them as soon as they said “He’s okay.” Instead, he settled for a relieved sob.
“Can I see him?”
“He’s still asleep, but I hear you’ve been quite the pain in the ass, so I don’t think you’ll accept any answer other than yes. C’mon.”
He followed the doctor down the hall, Athena keeping a comforting hand on the small of his back, silently promising I got you.
“You wouldn’t happen to know his emergency contact, Evan Buckley, would you? We’ve been trying to get a hold of him.” Buck flushed as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and saw the many, many missed calls.
“Uh, yeah, sorry. That’s me.” His voice was hoarse.
The doctor pursed their lips. “I see.”
They stopped outside a door. “I should warn you—”
Buck pushed past them without hearing the rest and into the room. His gaze is immediately drawn to Eddie, a broken “Eds” left him as he went to Eddie’s side and grabbed his hand. He kissed Eddie’s knuckles, closed his eyes, and laid his head against Eddie’s forearm. Buck knelt there, breathing in his alive best friend.
-
When Eddie woke up, Buck was overjoyed. A doctor came in to inform them that the surgery went well, they got the bullet out and expected a full recovery. Eddie just had to stay overnight for observations and have someone watch over him when he left, as long as he remained stable.
Eddie looked at Buck and he nodded. Of course, he’d take care of Eddie, no question. And honestly, if anyone else tried to, Eddie would probably bite their head off. Or they’d throttle him because Buck knew if Eddie Diaz was anything, it was a stubborn bastard with an independent attitude.
Once they were left alone, Buck gripped Eddie’s hand with both of his.
“You gotta stop doing this to me, man.”
Eddie gave a weak smile. “Only if you stop doing it to me.” A pause. “Did...”
“No. Athena said they’re still looking for the shooter, but as far as I know, the bastard’s still out there.”
“Damnit.”
“At least you’re okay.”
“But everyone else—”
“Everyone else didn’t try to die right in front of me. I’m only focusing on you, Diaz.”
“I told you not to call me that.” Eddie squeezed Buck’s hands and chuckled.
Buck shook his head, laughing too. “You said you wouldn’t respond. This is non-negotiable. I’m gonna fuss over you whether you want me to or not.”
A soft look crossed Eddie’s face.
“I can live with that.”
-
They agreed Buck would stay with Christopher tonight and bring him to see Eddie first thing in the morning. Buck didn’t remember much of getting to the hospital, but he apparently was difficult enough that the nurses and staff were willing to bend the visiting hour's rule.
“Dad!”
Buck heard Christopher coming towards the door as he let it swing shut behind him. He had changed into a t-shirt Athena brought him at the hospital, leaving the blood-soaked one in his backseat.
“Sorry, bud. It’s just me.” He knelt down to give Chris a hug as Carla followed after him. Both their eyes were red-rimmed. He wasn’t sure what exactly Athena had told Carla, but it seemed the part about Eddie getting hurt definitely got across.
“Hey, Buckaroo. How’s the patient?” She offered a warm smile.
“He’s gonna be fine. He can come home tomorrow.”
“You promise?”
“Yeah, Superman. I won’t let anything happen to your dad.”
“Good.” Christopher buried his face in the crook of Buck’s neck.
“They’re letting him go already?” Carla sounded skeptical and when Buck looked up at her, her arms were crossed.
“Uh-huh. I was surprised, too, but the doctor said as long as he had someone taking care of him at home, he should be good for discharge.”
“And I suppose that person’s gonna be you?” Her smile made Buck feel like she knew something he didn’t.
“Of course.”
Christopher perked up. “Bucky! You’re staying?”
“Yep. It’s you and me tonight, then we get to gang up on your dad again. First thing in the morning.”
“Can you stay? Like, forever?”
Buck and Carla both laughed.
“Sure, sounds great.”
Carla didn’t stay long after that and Buck put a reluctant Christopher to bed. And then Buck was alone. He answered various texts: the 118 worried about Eddie, Maddie concerned with how he was holding up, Abuela and Pepa both asking if Eddie was alright. He went around the house, cleaning up a bit and turning off lights. The couch was laid out, Buck had grabbed a pillow from Eddie’s bed and a spare blanket, but sleep was a futile effort. He tossed and turned before deciding he needed to do something different to get any sleep at all.
That’s how he found himself standing in Eddie’s bedroom doorway, holding the pillow against his chest. It still smelled like him. Buck moved forward, crawling into the bed on Eddie’s side and snuggling down under the covers.
As long as Eddie remained stable overnight, he could come home tomorrow. He’s okay. Buck held onto that.
-
Eddie didn’t remember much. He had been talking with Buck and then hit the ground after an all-too-familiar echoing sound, and then he woke up at home. He figured whatever painkillers he had had – if his arm in a sling was any indicator he got hurt and taken to a hospital – made his memory hazy. But the most startling thing to Eddie was the smell of someone cooking.
He groaned and threw himself out of bed, silently cursing as the abrupt action jostled his shoulder. He stumbled into his kitchen to see Buck flipping pancakes while Christopher sat at the table, giving himself a generous amount of maple syrup.
“What time is it?” he mumbled as he heavily leaned on the doorframe.
Buck whipped around, gesturing a spatula at him as he scolded: “What are you doing out of bed?”
“ Dad!” Christopher shot out of the dining chair.
He moved to meet Chris halfway, crouching down for him to throw his arms around Eddie. He accidentally pressed into his shoulder, but Eddie bit his lip to keep any kind of reaction in. He didn’t want Christopher to feel guilty and all he wanted was to hold his son anyway.
“Hey, Buddy.”
Christopher’s arms tightened around him. “I missed you.”
Eddie just nodded, turning his head to press kisses on Christopher’s temple. It still baffled him that Charlie’s mom was making him sick, how could she ever do that to her own kid?
“Breakfast?” He looked up at Buck and the soft smile he had made Eddie’s heart lurch. God, what would he have done without Buck?
He immediately went back to the food, filling a plate with pancakes for Eddie without waiting for an answer, showing how well he knew him. Eddie never has to find out what he’d do, because it was obvious; Buck was not going anywhere.
“Thank you.” It was a whisper, but Buck’s ears tinged red on the top so he knew he had heard him.
Christopher and Eddie parted, the former going back to the table to eat while the latter leaned on the countertop next to Buck, facing the opposite direction.
“I called the school, Chris is excused for the day.” Buck laughed. “I can’t imagine the fight he’d put up if I tried to make him leave the house.”
Eddie remembered yesterday afternoon. Buck had been only a few feet in front of him when the shots were fired. He spun to Buck quickly, scanning for any injuries. Buck looked at him, asking with his eyes, What’s up? Eddie let out a harsh, stuttered breath.
“You’re okay?” The soft smile returned to Buck’s face.
“Of course you get shot and you make sure I’m okay. You need to worry about yourself, too, Eds.”
He shrugged. “You and Chris are my first priorities.”
It was a simple truth, but Buck’s eyes still turned glassy as his smile morphed into a small grin. The change was weird. Eddie had known Buck for over three years and never would it cross his mind to describe anything about him as ‘timid’, but that’s exactly what the grin was.
“Go sit, I’ll bring your plate over.”
“You got it, Boss.” Eddie bumped their shoulders together before going to sit next to Christopher.
Around four o’clock, Eddie finally checked his phone. He was met with a couple of missed calls from Abuela and Pepa, and concerned texts from Ana.
“Shit.”
“Language!” Christopher laughed and turned back to the movie they had put on. Buck scooted over so he was right next to Eddie.
“What’s wrong?” He kept his voice low enough that Chris couldn’t hear them.
“I had a lunch date with Ana today.” Eddie felt horrible. He had actually forgotten about his girlfriend completely, his brain only being concerned about Buck and Christopher for the past twenty-four hours.
“Oh my god, I forgot to call her.” Buck’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry, I’ll—”
Eddie placed a hand on Buck’s knee to stop his internal blame game. “It’s fine. I forgot, too. I should probably call her, though.”
Buck nodded and he slid off the couch, heading to his bedroom, and dialed Ana. She picked up on the first ring.
“Edmundo, is everything alright? I thought we were meeting for lunch.”
“Sorry about that, I had a rough shift at work.”
Her voice was sympathetic. “Was it about the firefighter that got shot?”
“Uhm, well,” he wasn’t sure how to tell her. “It was me.”
“What?”
“I was the one that got shot. There was this sniper—”
“What?” Eddie heard Ana start to freak out. “Are you home?”
“Yeah, I’ve been resting. I’m okay.”
“I’m coming over.”
“Ana, I’m fine.” He wasn’t sure why, but the idea of Ana coming to fuss over him made his stomach twist.
“I’ll see you in ten minutes.” She hung up and Eddie was left wondering why the thought of his girlfriend being concerned about him after getting shot made him uncomfortable when he hadn’t felt any of that towards Buck after he’d already taken care of Eddie all day. And every day, for that matter.
The only answer he could come up with was it’s Buck .
-
Buck turned as Eddie reemerged into the living room, raising an eyebrow in question.
Eddie shook his head. “She’s coming over.”
His heart sunk. Of course, she’d want to see Eddie, but Buck had wanted him all to himself (and Christopher) for at least a day after watching his best friend almost die right in front of him. He wanted to hang a sign on the door that said “No Visitors Allowed” and hold Eddie and Chris close for the rest of the night. Buck’s selfish heart wanted to rub it in her face, Eddie was already being taken care of. He let Buck take care of him.
He shouldn’t get in the way of their relationship, Eddie liked Ana, and Buck knew he should make an effort to like her, too. But instead, the thought of her made him either want to hit something, or break down and sob.
Eddie answered the door when Ana knocked. He tried not to eavesdrop, but Buck just wanted them to hurry up and come back to the living room so he could keep an eye on Eddie. He faintly made out their exchange:
Ana had gasped, muttering “Oh, Edmundo,” before her voice was muffled more. Buck assumed she threw herself into Eddie’s arms.
Eddie had reassured her, repeating “I’m fine,” and if Buck knew Eddie, he was holding Ana just as tight. There was no half-assed love from him.
When they did finally come to the living room, it dawned on Buck that he had never technically met Ana. He’d heard about her, briefly, and he hoped she’d heard about him from Eddie, too, even if it was brief as well. But he couldn’t recall Eddie ever insisting they meet.
Christopher paused the T.V. and turned towards them, smiling at Ana.
“Hi, Miss Flores.”
“Hey, Christopher! What are we watching?”
“The Mummy.”
She frowned at the television, then looked at Eddie with concern. “Isn’t it a little… y’know, scary for a kid his age?”
He chuckled and shook his head. “The scariest thing about this movie is the bugs. Besides, he’s seen it plenty of times.”
“Yeah, but it’s one of Buck’s favorites! And he said that Scarabs aren’t even in California. We only need to watch out for them when we raid Pharaoh tombs in Egypt.”
“Absolutely. We can practice by avoiding spiders in Australia first.” Buck sent a fond smile to Christopher. The kid was a beam of light, and he definitely aired out any awkwardness in the room. Maybe the tenseness had just been in his head.
“So, you must be the famous Buck. I’ve heard so much about you, Christopher and Edmundo talk about you all the time.” She gave a polite smile and he kept a smirk from breaking out on his face, offering a small smile of his own in return.
“I’ve heard a lot about you, too.” It was a lie. Eddie hardly brought Ana up at all, and Christopher only mentioned her when he was telling Buck what they did while she was at their house. It might’ve been silly, but it felt like a victory, however small it may be.
Ana’s face turned solemn. “Can we talk? About…” Eddie getting shot . She didn’t say it aloud, quickly glancing at Christopher before looking between Buck and Eddie.
“Hey, Superman, do you still have those Egyptology books I got you?”
“Yeah!”
“Mind grabbing them for us? We can show Ana all the cool stuff about Egyptian Gods.” Christopher hopped up, making his way to his room. “Maybe grab something about Australia, while you’re at it!” he called after him.
Eddie and Ana made their way to the couch, Eddie sitting next to Buck and Ana practically falling onto Eddie’s lap, hugging his left arm.
“So, what happened?”
Buck thought about Eddie, laying in a pool of his own blood. The same warm blood that had covered him, and being prevented from racing to Eddie’s side. He thought about talking to him in the ambulance, gripping his hand while Eddie was unstable and unconscious. He thought about the double doors swinging shut after Eddie was taken for immediate surgery, and Buck was left standing alone in the middle of a hospital hallway.
“We were on a call,” Eddie starts. “We weren’t even supposed to be there,” Ana and Buck both bristle, “and there was a gunshot. The first one hit me, and after that it gets fuzzy. I just remember Buck being there.”
Ana turned to him expectantly. What was he supposed to say?
Eddie was pale and terrified and it felt like I was dying with him.
I was covered in his blood.
The next bullet was aimed at me and I didn’t care because I can’t do anything without Eddie.
I got pulled away before I could get to him.
I failed my partner.
I watched as Eddie reached out for me before passing out from blood loss.
None of that seemed right, so he went with the most detached answer he could piece together for the moment.
“There were more shots, but some cops pulled up and must’ve scared the shooter off. Paramedics came and we went to the hospital. Eddie was in surgery for a couple of hours and Athena waited with me. They got the bullet out, and Eddie was fine to come home after a night for observation if he had someone to look after him.” Ana nodded along, but the look Eddie gave Buck told him he wasn’t buying it. Buck was holding back on the full story and Eddie knew it.
Ana turned to Eddie. “Do you need me to stay with you?” She had a hopeful smile and Buck’s heart ached at the thought of Eddie telling him to go home and let Ana coddle him.
“No.” His face was confused for two seconds before schooling it back to something more neutral. Ana could’ve missed it, but Buck’s been reading Eddie for years. He was baffled at the thought of Buck not being the one taking care of him. He took that as another small victory.
“I mean, Buck’s got it.” Eddie tried for a casual smile, but it came across more like a grimace.
“Oh, I see.”
“Bucky!” They all jumped at Christopher’s shout. “I can’t carry them all!”
“Be right there!” He quickly vacated the couch and silently thanked Chris for getting him out of that situation. He didn’t think he should be present for the next part of Eddie and Ana’s conversation anyway.
Buck and Christopher took a minute to best navigate how to bring all the books out in one trip, deciding to leave a couple on the shelf. When they got back to the living room, Eddie and Ana were gone and they could hear the front door shut.
Oh. Buck could live with that.
They arranged the books on the coffee table and were settled in their seats again when Eddie came back to the room.
“Now, where were we?”
-
Eddie couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t for lack of trying, he just didn’t want to. Something felt off.
He heard quiet shuffling and sat up to see a silhouette come into his doorway.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Buck sounded like he hadn’t fallen asleep either.
“I was never asleep.” Eddie gave him a tired smile, knowing he probably couldn’t see him. “Why’re you up?”
“Couldn’t sleep.” Eddie patted the bedspread, a silent invitation that Buck didn’t hesitate to take. He came around the other side of the bed and crawled under the covers. Eddie rolled onto his side to face Buck, who mirrored his position.
“I keep thinking… If I go to bed I’m scared you won’t be here when I wake up.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Buck.” Eddie reached his hand out between them, finding Buck’s already there, and intertwined their fingers.
“Good.”
That’s how they fell asleep, and Eddie’s last thought before he was out floated around in his head. This. This is how it’s supposed to feel.