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He had been looking for a lighter, and that had been two months ago.
He had tried to pretend he hadn't seen anything. His brain told him to "close the door and leave quietly" and then refused to provide a single additional idea on how to deal with the whole thing, abandoning him to deal with the consequences on his own--and there were plenty, because by the time his brain suggested that, his mouth had already said "sorry lads" as if he'd walked in on them fighting, as if he'd just caught Liam mid-shit or Noel mid-screaming match with an executive. God, if only.
Whether he'd noticed it was both of them or not, he had walked in on one Gallagher brother about to blow some bloke. And boy, if only it had been Liam on his knees, or if one of them had been on all-fours while the other pounded him from behind--he could have pretended he thought whoever hadn't made eye contact with him was a girl or at least a groupie (they had plenty male ones after all, and Guigs was no bigot, he'd gone to that Stone Roses gig with Liam himself, hadn't he?). But well, luck has never been on Guigs' side.
They had been standing right in front of the door, snogging the life out of each other, Liam's trousers pooling on the floor, Noel's left hand around his brother's cock, his right one fiddling with his own trousers.
They had been wearing their fucking Man City tops.
So, by the time Guigs had turned around on his heel, the door was already closed before him, Noel's left hand eye level with him pushing it shut.
The story they had tried to spin was that they had taken some new drug or other. They didn't bother to tell which drug, although Liam blagged on about all the entirely fictional effects they had gone through to end up in their recent position. But then, Noel had been very coherent (too coherent) and explained that truly, wasn't rock'n'roll about breaking the rules? And while Guigsy liked weed far more than the array of stimulants the brothers loved to shove up every available hole, he was a frequent law-breaker, so really, didn't he love to be a rockstar? Surely it didn't matter so much.
And then somehow or other he had been pushed onto the weird couch ("chaise longue" Bonehead said in his head, and God, why couldn't he come rescue him now?) and Liam proceeded to give him the best blowjob he'd ever had.
Then, he'd been pushed out of the door within ten minutes (the lock firmly clicking in place this time) with a whole fucking lot to think about, and no fucking lighter.
***
From then on, it was hard to keep firm track of the events.
He knew he'd been blown by Liam another three times (brilliant), two of them in front of Noel (not so brilliant). Noel had given him a handjob (pretty good), he'd fucked Liam while Noel lied next to them in bed fully clothed, whispering God-knows-what into the younger's ears, and, also, at one point they had tried to make a whole thing like Liam was spying on them--but that hadn't worked out too well because Guigsy just really wasn't into the idea of getting fucked (at least not by Noel), so when Noel tried to 'set the mood' by engaging in foreplay (that is to say, had leant in and tried to kiss him) Liam had leapt out of the wardrobe and tackled them down, yelling "Not part of the deal, dickhead!" (at Noel).
All that was well and good. He'd been in pretty odd tangles of limbs here and there during tour and even before they'd gotten famous. He was no prude and just saying yes was better than having to talk about it with them--but it was weird. He wasn't too sure if he was allowed to suggest ideas himself, he wasn't sure where he was allowed to put his hands, even.
He had no idea what to make of it all. And, worse, who could he even talk to about it?
He'd been smoking with Bonehead once when he tried to get advice. He asked him in a very, very roundabout way about it, trying not to arouse suspicion... but Bonehead had been scandalized all the same.
"Are you cheating on your bird with her sister, Guigs?" he said with a scowl, and stormed off in disappointment before Guigsy had the chance to explain that he had no girlfriend, and it was probably not cheating if both siblings were usually in the room when he fooled around with either.
He had the good sense to realize that that was also probably morally inexcusable in Bonehead's eyes and so he never clarified the issue, just casually mentioning during the next rehearsal how single he was.
"Haven't had a girlfriend in months, me!", he'd said while looking sideways at Bonehead who just squinted suspiciously at him, and well, while Bonehead may not have believed the very true fact of his romantic and sexual availability, to his chagrin, Liam was just a couple of feet to the side, giving him one of those ridiculous big sad eyed looks, and finally walking towards him, placing a hand on his shoulder, and saying, "That's alright, man, we got your back," before whispering he should pop over to his room later that night.
***
Well, it was what it was. The sex wasn't bad, he'd certainly had much worse. Liam was a great kisser (which everybody in the vicinities of the band knew), he was prettier than most birds Guigsy had ever had a remote chance with, AND he really liked Guigs, he was nice and funny and he was his normal self when they weren't shagging. Plus, most of the times during their entanglement sessions Guigs could just lie back and enjoy himself while Liam put on a great show--he barely even had to ask or plan for things, which also made things pretty practical. But that was probably the thing, right? Liam was not giving him a great blowjob, was he? He didn't moan and touch himself for Guigs' benefit, did he?
He always thought people were exaggerating when they talked about how Noel's stern presence could be felt throughout rehearsals and recording sessions like some sort of stress portal that made everything high-stakes and awkward and miserable and that reminded everyone that Noel owned Liam and that without Liam they had nothing. That was ridiculous. He'd known them basically all his life. Played football with them and gone to church with them, and his mam was friends with Peg-- (Oh God, their mams. Their poor, poor mams. He'd never be able to look Peggy in the eye again). Noel was just a big-mouth grump, but Liam was his own person, wasn't he? And Liam was the one that had seemed the most possessive of the two, after all... Yeah, he could rationalize away the Noel of it all, he was having fun with a friend and it was not anything he hadn't done before, right? The odd handjob in their pre-fame days, right? A nice snog? No big deal. All good. All fine.
He was lying on his back, his dick inside Liam--who looked like some heavenly vision, glistening with sweat, lips bitten red, rosy cheeks, eyes half-closed in pleasure, moaning as loud as his prodigious throat allowed--when he realized he had to put a stop to it.
It wasn't the first time he'd found himself in that position. Three days or so ago, Liam had pushed him onto a sofa and ridden him so hard and so well that he almost forgot Noel was standing right behind the sofa, until, in the middle of Liam's hands-free orgasm, Noel had reached out and cupped Liam's cheek, redirectly all of his baby blues' attention away from Guigs who had no option but to spill deep, hard, and unwitnessed.
He got over that pretty quick, really, although the lads had snogged while his cock slowly softened inside Liam as if he didn't exist, eventually Liam had dismounted him and given him a cuddle and a kiss, and after they got cleaned and dressed they'd gone out to the pub together.
But this was too much, he really shouldn't have said yes to this.
He had been ignoring Noel all along, but his presence wasn't behind him and to the side this time, it was right in front of him--Liam's body was covering him, in a way, but Noel's hands were roaming all over his brother's body, touching him in the ways Guigs had not dared to do yet. He could see his fingers alternating between gentle presses, a sharp little pinch across a nipple, the red trails left by Noel's nails as he traced them down Liam's belly. The older brother's arms were wrapped firmly around Liam's middle, and Guigsy was fully aware of the double set of thighs straddling him. He could see the column of Liam's neck stretched upwards in the middle of a moan, Noel's lips firmly planted on its side, leaving suckling kisses all down to his collarbone to mark him.
He was suddenly aware that Liam's hands had never used him for leverage besides resting on his knees a couple of times--they had never held back from touching Guigs, instead, they were reaching back, trying to touch Noel from this impossible position--at this point, for all Guigs knew, it wasn't incoherent moaning but an entire language that the Gallaghers shared and hadn't bothered to teach him. And then, it hit him all at once when Liam leant forward, his hands either side of Guigsy's head, his face mere inches away, smiling down at him. For a good few seconds, Guigs forgot he knew what was going to happen next--and then he remembered, when Noel's heavy, thick and hard cock started pushing against his own, trying to share Liam's insides.
He had been in three-ways before, he'd taken turns in assorted holes and shared the same one with a friend in the past. He'd had mid-term sexual arrangements that weren't the smartest thing, known too much about some people--it made no sense that the wrongness of it all was closing around him like tar up to his neck, it made no sense that he wanted to wrap his arms around Liam and pull him away from Noel, that he wanted to roll them over, protect Liam's body with his own. That he wanted to say no.
"He wants to stop," he heard Liam say before he realized he'd externalized any of his own internal sorrows, "we have to stop".
Time seemed slower than usual, all the actions far too clear for how fast they must've been. Liam was reaching behind him, pushing Noel away, scooting upwards and moving away from Guigsy's cock in the process. Noel had gotten off the bed and stood at the foot of it, arms crossed, dick hard. Liam had run to the bathroom and was back with a cup of water and a box of tissues--he was still hard too; Guigs looked down to find he wasn't.
He felt odd, his hands holding the cup and his mouth taking a drink without his intervention. Liam's face near his again, but level, Guigsy realized awkwardly that he'd sat up somehow, resting his back against the headboard. He took a look around. Noel had wandered off somewhere, but Liam was still right next to him, wiping his face with a tissue so delicately that he felt like crying, but he realized he was doing that already.
It took him a while to realize Liam had been speaking, the last thing he said (and the first one he caught) being "He's me brother, you know?"
Guigsy nodded. He knew.
They got dressed and went out to the pub as if nothing had happened.
If Guigsy tried really hard, in no time, he was sure he'd believe it.