Chapter Text
“What is this.” Jay stared at his best friend, unblinking. Jake stood in the doorway, anxiously shifting from foot to foot.
“Can I come in?” he asked with a tentative grin.
“What is that.” Jay repeated with more force this time. Jake glanced down at the squirming thing in his arms.
“It’s a puppy,” he replied brightly.
Jay nodded to himself, running a hand through his hair. “That’s what I thought it was,” he mumbled. “And what are you doing with a puppy? Don’t you already have Layla?”
“I do,” Jake affirmed, nodding vigorously. “Which is why,” he took a step forward, ducking under Jay’s arm and entering the apartment, “I thought I’d come here.”
Jay whirled around. “I already know where you’re going with this, and the answer is no,” he said in a panicked voice.
“Pleaseeee,” Jake turned on his pleading voice. Two pairs of puppy dog eyes stared back at him. Jay did not budge.
“Where did you even pick a puppy up from if you don’t want it for yourself?” He said exasperatedly.
Jake bit his lip. “Well… I was writing a report on a local animal shelter for class, and this darling,” he hefted the dog in his arms, “fell in love with me.”
“Yes,” Jay said dryly, “I’m sure it was the dog who fell in love.”
“It needed a home!” Jake cried out.
“I barely have a home,” Jay retorted. It was true. His studio apartment was barely big enough for him to breathe in as it was. To add an animal to the mix? The idea was preposterous. He opened his mouth to tell Jake so.
“I’ll come over every day to help take care of her,” Jake said quickly. “You’ll barely have to lift a finger.” He pouted, and Jay felt his resolve melt away.
“Every day?” he asked hesitantly.
Did he need a puppy in his life? No, not really. Did he need more Jake? The thought of it was enough to have him eyeing up the dog, assessing whether its cuteness would outweigh the hassle. Then he looked up at Jake, and his decision was made.
“Okay,” Jay said with a heavy sigh. “But if that thing pisses on my sheets, I’m sending you the dry cleaning bill.”
—
“You won’t win me over so easily,” Jay told the puppy sternly. The dog blinked up at him, and shuffled over to rest its head in his lap. Jay scoffed. “You two are just the same. You think just because you cuddle me and look at me with those stupid eyes, I’ll give in to you?”
Jay absentmindedly brought his hand down to stroke the little dog’s ears. Of course that was exactly what had happened. All Jake had to do was look at him, and he had given in. It was quite the phenomenon.
“Have you ever liked someone, puppy?”
The thing replied with a sneeze.
“Bless you,” Jay said automatically. “Of course you haven’t,” he muttered, answering his own question. “You’re just a kid. What do you know about love?”
Jay finally came to his senses and realized he was talking to a dog about his feelings. When he looked down, the animal had its eyes shut and was fast asleep.
—
“No, you can’t eat that!” Jay exclaimed, as the dog started to lap up the noodle he had just dropped on the floor. She had followed Jay to the kitchen as he prepared his dinner, and then sat quietly by his feet while he ate. It was now apparent that she had merely been biding her time. He bent down hurriedly, and scooped up the fallen food before it could disappear into the dog’s mouth. “You two are just the same, you know that?” he scolded again. “What’s next? Are you going to make me all mushy for you too?”
The dog whined.
“Well, it’s not going to happen,” Jay said firmly, turning away to throw the ramen in the trash. “Should I call you ramen?” he pondered out loud. “You do need a name, after all.” He glanced over. “Ramen?” Immediately, the puppy trotted over to him, before settling down by his feet once more and looking up at him expectantly.
Jay chuckled to himself. “Ramen it is, then.”
—
“How are things going?” Jake said by way of greeting when he showed up at Jay’s place the next day.
Jay snorted. “She’s taken a liking to processed food. Our daughter takes after you.”
Jake raised an amused eyebrow. “Our daughter?”
“You adopted her, and I house and feed her,” Jay said defensively. He whistled. “Ramen! Your second favorite father is here,” he called out. Ramen came scrambling to the door, and immediately leapt up to paw at Jake’s knees.
“Ramen,” Jake said in disbelief, shaking his head. “I should have named her before handing her over to you.”
“You love it,” Jay grumbled.
Jake smiled to himself, as he bent down to scoop Ramen up into his arms. “Maybe I do.”
True to his word, Jake came over every day to check on the puppy and bring her food and other necessities.
“We’re almost like a married couple now,” Jake said casually one time. Jay froze.
“Wha— huh?”
Jake looked at him innocently, unaware of the havoc he had just caused in Jay’s head. “We’re raising Ramen together, so we're basically married, right?”
Jay coughed into his hand. “Right. Platonically married.” He immediately kicked himself, but it was too late to eat his words. Jake merely raised an eyebrow at him.
“Platonically,” he said in dry amusement. “Of course.”
Later that night, Jay addressed Ramen mournfully. “Do you ever say something you don’t mean?”
Ramen let out a little yip, and Jay scowled.
“How dare you say that to me. Get off my couch.”
—
“I am disowning her,” Jay told Jake solemnly the next day. Jake froze in the doorway.
“What did Ramen do?” He said slowly, sounding like he was already trying not to laugh. Jay jabbed a finger in her direction.
“I woke up this morning,” he said, glaring at the puppy accusingly, “And there was piss. On my bed.”
A snort escaped Jake, and he clamped his hand over his mouth. They both looked down at the suspect, who blinked up at them innocently.
“Are you sure it wasn’t you?” Jake suggested.
“Jake!! ”
“Okay, okay,” he said, holding his hands up defensively while laughing. “I’ll change your sheets for you. Hang tight.” He disappeared into Jay’s room.
Jay looked at Ramen. “I’m only keeping you because of him, you know,” he informed her.
She whimpered.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he grunted. “You need a shower.” And with that, he scooped her up and carted her off to the bathroom.
—
“I think we should move in together.”
Jay spit out his drink, coughing and spluttering. “We… you— what?!”
“We should move in together,” Jake repeated calmly, as though he hadn’t just dropped a bomb right in the middle of Jay’s kitchen. “We go to the same school, rent is expensive, and it’ll be easier to take care of Ramen. What do you think?” He said casually, like he was asking Jay’s opinion on the weather.
Jay swallowed painfully, averting his eyes. “Sounds great,” he croaked. “But I might have to sleep on it.”
After Jake left, Jay settled down on the couch with Ramen snuggled into his lap for their usual late-night talk.
“Ramen,” he groaned. “I’m going insane. I can be platonically married to him, sure. Platonically raise a puppy together? Easy. But platonically live together?!”
She blinked at him sleepily, with no words of advice or encouragement to offer.
“You are so useless,” Jay mumbled with zero bite to his voice. “I only keep you because of him, you know.”
Ramen sneezed.
“Bless you,” he said automatically, scratching her ears soothingly.
It suddenly occurred to Jay that there was a possibility he had broken his promise to himself. He had a sneaking suspicion that he was completely, and wholeheartedly enamored with this dog.
He also had a sneaking suspicion that he was completely, and wholeheartedly in love with his best friend.
Non platonically.
“What do I do, Ramen?” He asked mournfully.
But she was already snoring.