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It should have been a night like any other. Or, at least a night like any of the other nights Jim and Leonard had been having together recently, which, while they were quickly becoming normal, were still excruciatingly abnormal for Jim if one took into account the rest of his life.
The first night it happened, Jim had been nursing the aftershocks of an allergic reaction he’d had earlier that day, which had left him tired and wracked with random bouts of stomach cramps. He’d collapsed on the couch with a dramatic sigh, after cancelling his plans with friends, tossing his padd to the side of the couch and draping a hand over his face. Bones walked around to the front of the couch and Jim uncovered his eyes to find Bones frowning at him.
“What?” Jim moaned.
“Wanna… I dunno, watch a movie or something? Since you can’t go out tonight.”
Jim looked at Bones for a moment, then sighed, turning to stare back up at the ceiling again. “Ugh. Fine. Might as well.”
After selecting the movie, Bones had joined him on the couch, simply picking up Jim’s legs and sliding himself under them, placing Jim’s calves squarely in his lap. Jim tried not to show how surprised he was by it. Their friendship had always been pretty physical, but this was almost... domestic.
In a haze of tiredness, Jim thought about sitting up and kissing Bones. It wasn’t the first time he’d had the thought, but it was the first time he’d thought about doing it softly, tenderly. Most of his fantasies of kissing Bones involved them both being drunk and Jim slamming Bones up against a wall or Bones grabbing Jim’s face forcefully, claiming him. And the kissing fantasies quickly lead to sexual fantasies, them grinding against each other in the alleyway of a bar, panting into each other’s mouths, or Bones fucking him hard and fast into his mattress. This kind of fantasy though... it was different. Jim swallowed as he looked at Bones, imagining running his thumb over his stubble, gripping his jaw with a soft hand, and kissing him gently.
Apparently Jim had been looking at him too long— Bones looked over at him with his eyebrow raised. Jim snapped back to the moment, giving him a quick smile before turning his head to watch the movie.
It wasn’t a bad movie. At all. Especially when partway through it, Bones started rubbing his thumb absentmindedly against Jim’s leg, in soothing circles that made Jim’s eyes flutter shut in pleasure. It shouldn’t be that impactful— Jim was use to touch, plenty of it. But it was rare that he got to experience touch like this.
When the stomach cramps hit, Bones gripped his calf tightly, proving a steady, grounding pressure. He got up once to give Jim some more water and some replicated broth, and Jim was worried that their time on the couch together was over, but Bones just lifted up his legs once again and slipped right back in.
When the movie was over, Bones lifted his hand and stretched. “Well, that’s it for me kid. Is there anything I can get you before I hit the sack?”
After a few seconds of silence, Bones looked over at him, and Jim tried to wipe off the look on his face that was certainly far too fond for what was just a movie night between friends. But Jim couldn’t help but feel soft. Jim might know a lot of people, but there were surprisingly few he would ever call up to watch a movie with him, few that would think he was worthy of spending that kind of unexciting time with... and probably none who would look after him in the way Bones did effortlessly.
If Jim pretended to still be somewhat sick the next day so he had excuse to stay in with Bones again, no one was any the wiser. And if, even after he couldn’t use that excuse anymore, he started spending more and more time in the dorm room, working on homework, or just hanging out with Bones, then no one needed to know.
He didn’t cut his friends out of his life or anything, and still partied with them a couple times a week and met up for lunches and coffee. But the experience felt different now— he felt like he didn’t have to see people all the time to distract him from the pain and want inside of him. Because... maybe for the first time, some of that want was being met. And some of that pain was being soothed.
He tried not to think too hard about what it meant that he liked spending time with Leonard so much, or that he felt like he was almost starting to crave his touches. He tried not to think about the small smile that appeared on Leonard’s face more often now, or how easily he would reach out to touch Jim after the movie started rolling. It... was casual. It was chill. It was fine.
It... wasn’t nothing. But it wasn’t fully something yet either. And Jim didn’t know what to do with the burgeoning feelings he had, the daydreams of Bones resting his head in his lap on a warm summer day in Georgia, Jim leaning down to kiss him. Of simply turning to him on the couch one day and asking him if he could kiss him, Bones hesitant but eager nod. There was a possibility that Bones felt the same way— but what if he didn’t? Or what if he thought he did but then they actually tried it out and Bones decided he didn’t like him as much as he thought he did? Jim didn’t think he could handle that.
This evening, the movie was about an alien invasion in a small town. As the opening credits played, Jim and Bones settled onto their little couch. At first, Jim had felt awkward immediately leaning into Bones, as if he was giving away too much or annoying him, but that had been quickly assuaged by the way that Bones held him immediately, and the softest little smile that Jim had seen when he snuck a glance up at him.
This time, when Bones slung his arm around his waist, Jim’s shirt was rucked up just enough that his hand touched bare skin. Jim shifted, making his shirt fall down, and now Bones’ hand was under his shirt.
Jim hardly dared to breathe, expecting Bones to snatch his hand away. But instead, he spread his fingers across Jim’s lower back and pressed his fingers into his skin for a moment, before relaxing against him.
His hand stayed there for several minutes, a solid weight and presence. Just as Jim was relaxing into it, he moved, sweeping his broad hand up over Jim’s back. Jim wasn’t wearing a binder today, and Leonard’s breathing hitched as he registered that fact, his hand passing over the smooth, unencumbered expanse of his skin underneath his loose hoodie. His hand stayed at the top of his back for a few moments, splayed across his skin, before traveling back down again. Soon he began long sweeps of his palm up and down his back, alternating between rubbing, scratching gently, and pressing into areas with tight muscles.
Jim did his best to keep his breathing even but oh holy shit this felt so good. He allowed himself a few groans when Bones pushed against tight muscles. And then.
Then Bones curled his hand around to the front of his body to pat the slight pudge there, before sliding it around again to the back. Jim’s breath caught when his hand just barely brushed against the side of his breast on the way back. Leonard’s hand stilled, just for a moment, waiting for any objection, before continuing on the same path.
Immediately, Jim’s mind was full of images of Leonard sweeping his hands over Jim’s tits, massaging them, flicking his fingers over his nipples, capturing Jim’s mouth in a kiss, swallowing his moans. His breath grew more erratic and his eyes fluttered shut. He bit his lip to prevent himself from making any sounds, but it was hopeless— soon he was practically vibrating with pleasure and want. It was a testament to how much he cared about their friendship that he didn’t make the first move. He fucking loved sex and God did he want those big, warm hands all over him. But he reminded himself that those weren’t just any hands, they were Leonard’s, his best friend in the universe. When he pulled back to stop what was happening, to press pause before he outright moaned at a simple touch, when he glanced back at Leonard to remind himself that this was his FRIEND and nothing more— he found Leonard studying his face with a soft, intense gaze. He’d noticed the way that Kirk’s eyes had fluttered shut, the puff of air that had escaped his lips. He’d noticed— and he’d continued anyway. Jim’s brain short circuited. Had he been trying to provoke those reactions from Jim? Had he been... trying to turn him on? That wasn’t the look of someone who was doing this accidentally or just to fuck around. This particular kind of softness in Bones’ eyes was new, but the focus was not. He knew what he was doing.
Jim turned further to face Leonard and as he did, Leonard’s hand slipped down from his shoulder blade to brushing the edge of his breast. He couldn’t suppress the shiver that went through him at that, couldn’t stop the way his eyes closed. He wanted those soft, warm hands on his nipples now, massaging his tits.
When he opened his eyes again, Leonard was looking right at him, mouth parted. “Jim...”
Jim shook his head. There would be a time to talk. But right now he wanted to exist in this unspoken space together. “Just... keep going?” He asked.
Bones’ eyes flickered down to his chest, then back up to his eyes. “You mean...”
Jim nodded, worrying at his bottom lip. “Just...” he turned his back to Leonard again, but slid backwards, so that Leonard’s hand was now touching a substantial portion of his tit. “Keep going.”
Leonard let you a shaky breath behind him, before moving his palm to cover Jim’s left side of his chest. Jim sucked in a breath as his fingers parted around and edged against his nipple, hard and getting harder. At the first moan he let out, Leonard swore quietly, and pulled him back further, until his lips were at Jim’s neck, pressing in soft, insistent kisses, making Jim shudder.
“Is this okay?” He asked. Jim nodded in response, tilting his head to give him better access. But Leonard paused. “Jim?”
Jim rolled his eyes. Of course he wanted verbal confirmation. “Yes. It’s good.”
Bones nodded back and moved his other hand to the other side of his chest, playing with his nipple there, too. Jim’s breath grew shaky, and he dug his fingers into Bones’ thigh. He shifted a bit, accidentally making his ass press back into Bones’ crotch. Both he and Bones moaned as he rubbed against his hardness, Jim realizing that Bones had probably gotten aroused during the back rub to be this hard already.
The thought made him swear, “Fuck,” falling gently from his lips.
“Yeah?” Bones’ muttered into his ear.
Jim nodded, eagerly, before scooting himself up a bit more on Bones’ lap so that his hands fell from his tits to further down his stomach.
“Shit, sorry,” Bones said, adjusting his hands back upwards but Jim shook his head.
“Please. Touch me.”
“I am touching you.”
“Touch me.”
Bones let out a shaky breath as he realized what he meant. “You sure?” His voice was rough.
Jim nodded, then before Bones could ask for more, he confirmed verbally. “Yep. Yes. Please. please.”
Bones took another breath before letting his hands wander down Jim’s stomach. His hands slipped under Jim’s waistband, sucking in a sharp breath when he realized that Jim wasn’t wearing underwear. Pressing a kiss to his shoulder, he muttered, almost to himself, “Christ, kid. You trying to kill me, here?”
His fingers dipped down until he’d cupped Jim’s vulva in one large hand, just holding it for a moment, before beginning to rub it in gentle but firm circles.
“Oh. Fuck,” Jim said, grinding his cunt down into Bones’ hand.
“Shh, darlin’. I got ya.”
He whimpered at the feeling of Bones against him, the way he rubbed against his dick, the term of endearment that fell so naturally from his lips. God, it was everything. “Please, Bones, I’m...” he hesitated to admit it, but there was no shame here, no judgement. Only safety and pleasure and love. “I’m close.”
“Close already, hm? Just from this? Just from me?”
Jim nodded. “Yeah, just from you. God, wanted this for so long. Fuck.”
With that, Bones sped up the movement of his hand, pressing more firmly into him. “You’ve no idea how much I wanted this, kid. No idea.” He changed the position of his hand to flick against Jim’s dick, making Jim moan again. “Is this enough, Jim? Do you want some fingers inside?”
Jim shook his head, panting slightly. “No, this is enough.”
Bones nodded, and pulled his hand away for one moment. Before Jim could protest, his fingers were touching Jim’s lips, and he moaned as he realized his intention. He sucked the fingers into his mouth, taking the opportunity to grind his ass against Bones’ erection, drawing out a few curse words as he did so. He released the fingers with a pop, and Bones returned them to his cunt, focusing more on his dick now that he had some lubrication.
Jim panted and moaned as Bones’ fingers continued to work him, as he continued rubbing his ass against Bones. Bones flicked his fingers softly across his dick a few times and Jim whimpered.
“A…aah.. ah fuck, Bones, fuck I’m so close, fuck—“
Bones sped up his hand, focusing directly on his dick. He started whispering filth into his ear, “That’s it, Jim, that’s it. Just like that. Let me see you come for me. Bet you look so fucking beautiful when you come.” He tweaked Jim’s nipple, kissing the side of his neck, and that was it, Jim was coming, his body jerking up into Leonard’s hand, head lolling back on Bones’ shoulder. Bones worked him through it, continuing with his dick and nipples, and sucking into his neck.
Jim moved to turn around around to help take care of Bones, but Bones tightened his grip and kept him still, just kept thrusting up into him, until he froze, hips jerking unsteadily against Jim’s ass, and Jim realized that he was coming. Just from this, huh? He thought dazedly. Belatedly he thought to turn and watched the end of Leonard’s orgasm. His face was wracked with pleasure, mouth parted, and eyebrows knit together. He bit his lip as the waves of pleasure subsided, hips jerking once more. It was absurdly gorgeous.
They both stilled, panting into the air, one of Leonard’s hands still down Jim’s pants, and the other on his chest. After a few moments, he pulled them both away, and Jim let out a soft, whimpery gasp. Leonard chuckled. “Don’t worry. There’ll be more where that came from.” He froze. “That is, uh. If you want.”
Jim smiled, then turned all the way around to face him, chastely straddling his lap. Jim smoothed a thumb across Bones’ cheek, smiling at the way Bones turned to press a kiss to his palm. In the haze of pleasure and delight, it wasn’t hard to admit. “I do. I really, really do.”
The small smile that overtook Bones’ face was too much to handle. Jim was so overwhelmed with affection and another feeling he wasn’t quite ready to name yet, that he couldn’t help himself. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Bones’ forehead.
Bones let out a soft noise, then kissed him back on his forehead, his cheeks, his chin, everywhere he could reach, as he slowly pushed him down on the couch until Jim was flat on his back and Bones was perched over him on all fours. Jim just grinned and grinned, letting out little noises of pleasure at every kiss.
Eventually, Bones pulled back, just enough for them to be able to look at each other. Bones’ eyes dropped to Jim’s lips.
Jim let out a little puff of air, before wriggling around to a sitting position, leaning against the arm of the couch. He swallowed and stared at Bones before he finally said, “Please.”
Bones nodded, as he continued staring at Jim’s lips, his own lips parting as he bent forward. His hands slid around to cup his chin in two warm palms. And then his lips were on his. Jim melted into the kiss, his own hands coming up to cling at Leonard’s shoulders, hanging on for dear life as warmth suffused every part of his body.
Jim kissed him back, in no rush, but still wanting to know every part of him. It was tender and warm and when they pulled back, Bones was looking at him with so much affection that Jim’s heart skipped a beat in his chest. He’d never seen that look on Bones’ face before, at least not so openly. Jim couldn’t resist. He reached out to cup his palm around Bones’ cheek.
“How did I get so lucky?”
Bones blushed, turning his check into Jim’s touch, muttering out, “look who’s talking.”
Jim’s chest swelled, happiness suffusing every single inch of him. He’d thought that when or if he and Leonard finally made it to this point it would be scary, intimidating. And sure, he was nervous, and there was some uncertainty. But mostly? He just felt happy.
It seemed like Leonard felt the same. As Jim kept petting his face he tried to hide it, but soon a full grin took over his face. It was like the fucking sun coming out.
Jim just smiled at him. He didn’t know much about... love or how to take the next few steps of whatever this was, but he figured that both of them feeling ridiculously lucky to have the other was a damn good place to start from. For once in his entire life, the future looked bright— and not just the hard, shiny brightness of the opportunity that Starfleet had offered him, but the soft light of a new sun breaking over the horizon, a sun that promised warm, nourishing, light for a long time to come.