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“One more bottle, I swear!” Junhoe yelled, at the top of his lungs, in the middle of a lulling night as Chanwoo held him back, two full arms circled on Junhoe’s chest, while Jinhwan picked up the bottles to return them inside the convenience store.
“Shut him up already please.” Jinhwan muttered, directed at Chanwoo, brows creased and eyes sharp as he tried to hold three bottles in one of his infant-like (according to his members) hand and four on the other. “Yah, Bobby, how about giving me a hand here, huh?”
Bobby sighed, head rolled upward, feeling his short curls hang in the air, before standing and picking up the rest of the bottles that Jinhwan failed to carry on his own.
The two of them made their way to the store’s entrance, hearing Junhoe’s continuous irrational babbles all the while Chanwoo pleaded for him to stop. Bobby could be sure that Chanwoo was so close to tears — nobody stops Junhoe from talking in his drunken state. He would go on and on about the most random of things and the members would always end up drinking more than they intended to. They say they would rather be drunk than to listen to Junhoe talk about what a tteokbokki with watermelon tastes like. “It’s all the same once they enter our stomach anway”, was Junhoe’s conclusion.
But not Bobby.
He enjoyed listening to Junhoe talk. Whether in his drunk or conscious state, Bobby found himself amused at how the younger man’s mind worked. Especially lately, since the awkwardness between the two of them began to disappear little by little, Bobby found himself capable of engaging in a conversation with Junhoe even on random times, and he enjoyed all of those.
The door chime rang as Jinhwan pushed it open, Bobby tagging shortly behind him, leaving Junhoe and Chanwoo’s voices to dissipate as the door closed. Bobby and Jinhwan placed the bottles neatly in the beer case placed at the back of the store, bowed to the staff as they made their way out, only in time to witness Junhoe hurl the mixture of his dinner on Chanwoo’s plain white shirt.
“Yah! Koo Junhoe!” Jinhwan rushed to Chanwoo, who was now beet red, arms held up in the air, contemplating on how to clean up the mess caused by the man who was supposedly older than him, but somehow had always felt akin to a younger brother.
“Bobby,” Jinhwan signaled to him quickly, “go pick up Junhoe”. He threw a half empty water bottle at Bobby, before the latter made his way to the wasted boy’s seat.
Bobby pulled a seat in front of Junhoe, and sat down. “You good?” He asked, as he caught sight of Jinhwan removing his jacket as Chanwoo got off his shirt and was left only wearing his undershirt. Bobby laughed softly, mentally teasing their oldest member with the already funny image of Chanwoo wearing Jinhwan’s jacket that is too short for his arm length.
“Bobby-hyung.” Junhoe called, which brought Bobby to turn his head to his direction, much too quick, he added as a late observation, for Junhoe’s face was now approximately only two inches away from his. Bobby leaned backwards as a reaction; this proximity was too soon and too much for his already palpitating heart.
Junhoe continued to stare at him, searching Bobby’s face while he tried to figure out what had gotten to Junhoe’s head at that moment, something nobody could actually tell on a daily basis, let alone when he is drunk.
Still confused, Bobby waited for the younger man’s mouth to open again, causing him to unintentionally stare at those plump, pink lips leading to a gulp on Bobby’s throat just as Junhoe spoke, deep and throaty, and Bobby could strongly smell the beer in his breath.
“So, who do you like?” a question that startled Bobby, obvious on his face, eyes now wider than earlier, lips forming a circle as he sat taller and closer to Junhoe, who reached his left arm over Bobby’s shoulder, their cheeks rubbing against each other’s. Junhoe must be very drunk. Bobby thought as he tried to peek into Junhoe’s face while the latter looked straight at Jinhwan and Chanwoo, a few steps away from where they were seated, far enough to not hear their conversation.
He was still in the middle of processing Junhoe’s question when the latter spoke again. “Personally, I think Jinhwan-hyung is very cute. Chanwoo is cute too, and seriously handsome as well, but too tall for my taste.”
Bobby felt a lump build on his throat. “So, you do like Jinhwan that much, huh.” He dejectedly murmured.
Ever since they first met each other on that April 2012, Bobby already harbored feelings of adoration towards the younger Junhoe, who by then looked so much like a typical teen in his rebellious stage. Even the way he unintentionally, according to Junhoe himself, dropped honorifics while talking to his seniors was cute in Bobby’s eyes. His straightforward attitude, the way he always munched on his food with his cheeks full, when everybody could tell how Junhoe was feeling even before he said anything because he wore his emotions on his sleeves and wasn’t shy about it, all of those were the thing that made Bobby feel soft whenever he watched Junhoe. “He’s the cutest little brother to me,” was what he had always told Hanbin and Jinhwan, even Yunhyeong, as they teased him for treating Junhoe very differently from Donghyuk and Chanwoo.
What Bobby didn’t expect was for that cutest little brother to grow up looking manlier than any of their members, Bobby included. Junhoe’s height reached way past Bobby’s, his shoulders wider, thighs thicker and voice deeper. All these things drove Bobby confused, no thanks to puberty hitting Junhoe like a Belaz 75710.
What made Bobby even more, but very pleasantly bemused, was the fact that Junhoe grew softer. He cried easier, laughed harder. He got more reflective of himself even without anyone watching or reminding him. Sometimes, Junhoe surprised them with bits of his thoughts and beliefs, and while the others teased him for growing older, Bobby stood at the sides, admiring the man that Junhoe had turned into in front of his eyes.
“So what do you think of your cutest little brother now, Bobby-hyung?” Hanbin chaffed him one day, and as much as Bobby wanted to shut Hanbin up, he couldn’t find words to answer his question.
“Jinhwan-hyung? I like him! I like him lots, lots. Like a whole lot.” Junhoe’s loud voice brought Bobby back to focus. Obviously still drunk, Junhoe now leaned far back on his seat, leaving Bobby to stare at him with his eyes feeling wet.
Junhoe’s incoherent babbling with occasional pouting would have put a shy smile on Bobby’s lips on any day, except right now when the clouds covered the bright moonlight, reflecting Bobby’s train of thoughts. Memories from when they first met up to everything they’ve been through as a group flashed in Bobby’s mind, piling up emotions on his now heavy heart.
“I should have just been forward with you.” Bobby whispered as he looked at Junhoe, full of fondness yet despondent, while the younger’s head kept on wobbling up and down.
“Hey! We should go back.” Jinhwan yelled at the both of them. “Chanwoo’s cold, and that drunkhead needs to get cleaned up too.”
Both Jinhwan and Chanwoo started to walk down the dimly lit street, leaving Bobby to guide the heavily drunk Junhoe back to their home.
“Come on,” Bobby stood and reached his hand out to Junhoe. “Let’s get you home.”
Junhoe kept on waving his hand at Bobby, grinning from ear to ear, “Catch my hand, Bobby-hyung.”
Now, Bobby may have felt dejected earlier, but nothing can stop him from grinning at Junhoe’s drunk behavior. He played along for a little while, letting their fingers brush against each other as Bobby waved his very own hand in the opposite way that Junhoe’s was going.
A few more touches and Bobby held out both of his hands, grabbed Junhoe by his wrist and pulled him up from his seat. Junhoe, being the mess that he was at that very moment, allowed Bobby to pull his whole weight, but as he stood, his knees gave away and he lost his balance, only to find his arms clinging onto Bobby’s shoulders as the older grabbed Junhoe by his waist to support the man up.
Bobby felt himself blush, and if it was at all possible, he assumed his whole body turned a deep flush of red at the sudden closeness. Junhoe, who was still hanging on him, looked up, and Bobby mentally thanked the alcohol for making Junhoe incapable of remembering any of these the next day.
“Junhoe, are you okay?” Bobby felt his voice tremble in between his words. Junhoe nodded, lips pouting, eyes enticing, and Bobby swore he was so close to losing his control.
He had never seen Junhoe act like this when he gets drunk. Though on that note, Junhoe rarely gets drunk. Usually, the two of them are the last to get intoxicated, and during those times it was always with all seven of them, leaving Bobby free from any responsibility of taking care of the mess and its perpetrators. Now that he had seen this side of Junhoe, Bobby vividly remembered that one time Jinhwan mentioned how Junhoe gets when he is drunk.
“He’s annoyingly clingy, I swear.” Jinhwan remarked with a hint of disgust on his face, followed by a playful smile. “Really cute though, since we rarely see him be clingy.”
Bobby thought if this was the extent of that annoyingly clingy state of a drunk Junhoe, or if there was more.
Shortly after, Bobby already found the answer to his curiosity, as Junhoe wrapped both of his arms around the older man’s neck, pulled himself up, bringing him half a face above Bobby as he stood tall. Now Junhoe was looking down straight into Bobby’s eyes as the latter faced him with his head tilted up.
“Piggyback me, Bobby-hyung.” Junhoe grinned, flashing his notable and adorable gummy smile, and Bobby felt his heart melt at the gust of the cold wind that carried Junhoe’s words to his ears.
Bobby stood still, stunned, face blank, devoid of any reaction for he himself didn’t know how to respond at the sudden act of endearment he never expected to receive from Junhoe.
“Bobby~ hyung~ piggyback me!” Junhoe continued to playfully coax him into carrying him home. He shook Bobby’s shoulders lightly, but Bobby continued to stare.
“Fine. If you won’t answer, then,” Junhoe said before letting go of Bobby’s shoulders, placing himself at Bobby’s back and once again wrapped his arms around the older’s neck, hands holding onto each other.
“One… two…” Junhoe counted aloud, giving Bobby a chance to realize what Junhoe was planning to do.
“Wait Junhoe!” he shouted, grabbing Junhoe’s balled fists with his two hands, leading him to his side as he shifted one of his hands on Junhoe's broad back. “Sorry, I can’t carry you all the way home, you’re heavy.”
Junhoe pouted and was about to endlessly whine until Bobby grows tired and decides to give him what he want, but he saw how apologetic Bobby looked at him and changed his mind. “Okay, but you have to hold me like this all the way home.”
Junhoe placed Bobby’s hand well around his torso, so that Bobby held him whole and tightly.
“Okay, I will.” Bobby answered submissively as he smiled sheepishly at Junhoe.
The two of them started walking, both with one arm around the other while their free hand swayed silently on each of their sides. Junhoe kept singing random songs, most of which were Bobby’s personal favorites as well.
He really loved hearing Junhoe sing. When he told him way back their early years that he was his fan, he wasn’t lying. Junhoe’s voice always reached deep into Bobby’s soul, regardless of the genre. Only a few voices affected him so closely, and it amazed Bobby that Junhoe, one member of his very own group member and a personal close friend of his, was one of those people.
How did admiration suddenly turned into infatuation, though? Bobby wondered to himself.
“So…” Junhoe started speaking again, his voice lingered far longer than intended. “What’s your type, Bobby-hyung?”
Bobby, surprised at the sudden inquiry, pondered at the question, wondering how he should answer it.
“Type, like ideal type? The kind of person I want to date?” Bobby asked, already half expecting the answer, to which Junhoe nodded, his short hair bounced as he did.
Bobby hesitated a bit, eyes straight on the road, noticing that Jinhwan and Chanwoo are now way far ahead of them. Thinking what he should say, he lifted his head and saw the clouds had already shifted and up were the bright stars, he found resolution.
Well, at least the most that he could do at the moment.
“I like someone, actually.” Bobby hinted, and if he was just looking at Junhoe, he would have seen the younger gulped and his eyes widened. “That person,” His thoughts trailed off, smiling sheepishly to himself as he drowned in different images of Junhoe he had imprinted on his mind. “is captivating, to say the least.”
“To start off, he doesn’t smile a lot and he has a mean look on his eyes.” Bobby chuckled, in which the sound made Junhoe’s heart flutter. “But when he does, I am telling you, it is the most beautiful and genuine smile I have ever seen.” Bobby continued, staring longingly in front of him, oblivious to the fact that Junhoe’s eyes were on him, yearning.
“He would go around not giving a care about what the world says about him one day, then the next he is crying over a sappy animated movie he had watched on Netflix. He cannot be bothered by things he has no interest in, but if it is something he likes, he pours his whole heart and mind into it.” Bobby went on with a certain tenderness in his voice that Junhoe had never heard before. “And when he sings,” He paused to finally turn his head to Junhoe. His eyes reflected the same tenderness caught in his voice. “He is just the most dazzling person I have ever laid my eyes on.” Bobby wasn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes twinkled as he spoke about the subject of his affection. “Liking him feels amazing, June-ya.” Liking you feels amazing. He finished what he had really wanted to say in his head.
Bobby, not expecting any response form Junhoe as he knew he was very drunk, shifted his sight back on the street. “Oh, we’re here.” Bobby held Junhoe tighter on his waist, as if to support the younger man. He feels heavier now. Bobby mentally commented, as Junhoe unknowingly leaned on Bobby with the whole weight of his body, feeling weak on his knees. “Your hands look cold too.” Bobby said as he nervously held Junhoe’s hand upon seeing how pale it was. “We should get you inside already.”
Bobby motioned Junhoe towards the building’s entrance, when the younger man shoved his hand away gently.
“I like you. Bobby-hyung. I like you so much I wanna be your boyfriend.” Junhoe blurted out, and Bobby felt the shock ran through his whole body
“Will you be my boyfriend, Kim Jiwon-hyung?” Junhoe, still as red as he was earlier, hung his head low with his eyes closed, leaving a flustered Bobby who got no response no matter how hard he shook the younger man.
*****
“Good morning!” Bobby greeted the members with a smile as each of them walked into the dining area. “Sit. All of you. Let’s eat together.”
Jinhwan and Donghyuk trudged their way to the table as they heard their door open, only to see the members staying on the upper floor greet them with frowning faces.
“What’s up, why is everybody here?” Jinhwan asked, directed at Bobby. Each of them sat on their own places as Bobby placed the food one by one on the neatly arranged table. Everybody was staring, confused with how Bobby was doing something… un-Bobby-like.
“What’s gotten into you, hyung? Weren’t you sober last night?” Chanwoo wittingly asked. Usually, Bobby would have retorted and started a playful banter, but not today, not when his head was the clearest it had been in a long while.
Hanbin and Donghyuk started to reach for the bread, followed by Jinhwan and Chanwoo who started with their eggs. Yunhyeong was making his own coffee when he saw Junhoe walking ever so slowly towards them, rubbing his eyes and scratching his tummy under his plain white shirt.
“Junhoe, walk faster. Let’s all eat. Bobby cooked.” Yunhyeong said as he blew the heat off his freshly made coffee.
Junhoe stopped in his tracks, eyes wide and surprised. “Wait, what? Bobby-hyung made breakfast? For all of us?”
“Yes I did. So sit down now, will you?” Bobby told him as he smiled fondly at the younger, causing all of them, including Junhoe, to stare in shock at the scene in front of them. Junhoe and Bobby aren’t really awkward anymore?, was the single thought going on their minds.
Junhoe, surprised and confused at the affectionate tone of his hyung, quietly obliged and found a seat between Jinhwan and Hanbin. Before he could even choose which to eat first, Bobby clapped his hand loudly, garnering the attention of his bandmates.
“Before we start this day,” Bobby cleared his throat. “I would like to say that I, Kim Jiwon, second son of my mother and father, will start living my life the way I want to, without worrying about things too much.”
“Weren’t you always like that?” It wasn’t only Chanwoo, but Donghyuk, Hanbin and Yunheyong too who spoke all at the same time and with the same thought.
“Shut up, all of you.” Bobby playfully warned, bringing them soft laughter. Junhoe, although laughing with all of them, felt like something was amiss. Something, somehow, changed.
With his pretending to be wasted last night and all those things he did, everything he had always wanted to do with Bobby ever since he started to realize the crush he had for the older man, he did them last night under the pretense that he was drunk enough to forget everything by the time morning came.
I was actually drunk, though. Halfway drunk. Junhoe thought, defending himself from his own accusations, remembering how the intoxication was washed off from inside and out when he lost his balance and felt Bobby's hand wrap around his body.Just not wasted drunk. Just drunk.
Last night after Bobby propped him on his bed while he pretended to have fallen asleep, he felt utmost embarrassment, at the same time amused at himself for having the guts to ask his hyung to be his boyfriend. “I was supposed to be drunk.” Junhoe spoke to himself, as he usually did, realizing how on earth he could pursue Bobby now without admitting the childish act he just did. “Can’t decide if I should be mad at myself for pretending instead of just actually asking him.” He remembered cursing himself to sleep, searching within him the same courage he got from the impression that it was he that Bobby described as his ideal type.
And when he woke up to Bobby cooking breakfast, speaking and smiling to him lovingly? Junhoe was sure something definitely shifted.
Bobby once again cleared his throat, which made Junhoe, who was unconsciously hanging his head low, look up and straight to Bobby’s eyes, which he found was already staring intently at him amidst the laughter of everyone in the room.
“Koo Junhoe,” Bobby started once again, and Junhoe swallowed the dryness in his mouth. His heart was beating loudly and it felt deafening. He waited for the next words and felt like it was never going to come out, but Bobby smiled, the same smile he had given him earlier, only brighter this time for his eyes smiled at him too. “I like you too, and I would definitely love to be your boyfriend.”
With that, Junhoe stood, letting his chair tumble down with a loud thud as he made his way around his friends and the table, reaching Bobby, pulling him in a tight hug, just as he wanted to do last night, and the two of them snuggled into each other's neck, their smiling eyes visible to the rest of their members, dumbfoundedly staring at the first official couple in their group.