Chapter Text
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come out tonight?” Colin’s friend, Matt, asked as he fixed his medium length blonde hair in the mirror of their villa.
Colin sat just a few meters away from him, out on the balcony in the warm night air that had his t-shirt clinging to him just slightly with sweat. The orange hue of the sun casted shadows over the architecture and hills of the Greek island of Mykonos they were currently residing on. Rather than using the small patio table, he had his knees tucked up on the chair and used them to rest his journal upon as he wrote. He was so lost amongst his own written musings that he hadn’t registered his friend had spoken to him.
“Colin?”
Matt headed over to the doors that opened out to the balcony and leant against the frame, folding his arms amusedly at the sight of his mentally far away friend.
“Hello? Earth to Colin!” He kicked the chair Colin sat on, finally taking him out of the world of pages before him.
“Sorry, sorry! I was distracted.”
“Yeah I can see that, look are you sure you don’t wanna come out tonight? Anna says she’s bringing Claudia, who most definitely fancies you.”
Colin chuckled and shook his head, “Nah not tonight, I’m not in the mood.”
He immediately turned back to his journal, his pen back to swiftly moving over the pages as if it took no effort at all.
“You haven’t been ‘in the mood’ for ages.”
There was an edge to Matt’s voice that made Colin look back up, a guilt instantly washing over him because it was true. He and Matt had known each other for years now, they became really good friends when they had met in Turkey and had often met up on their travels to explore places together. Matt earned his income through travel photography and had even taught Colin a few things or two, though it never interested Colin enough to explore it further. He often starred in Matt’s pieces, saying he must be one of his most popular models, and would get a cut of the commission if it sold. Colin had never told him this, worried it would fuel his friends ego, but he was one of his favourite photographers - always able to capture the most beautiful natural moments without people realising.
That’s why Colin felt so abashed right now, as his friend was right - he hadn’t been himself recently. Colin would never shy away from a night out and definitely would not say no to meeting, in no doubt, a beautiful woman to flirt and charm the night away with. But now, he just couldn’t bring himself to enjoy it. When he spun a woman around and she laughed his heart didn’t soar, his stomach would twinge in disappointment instead. When their lips would touch he was left with a hollow feeling inside as if his blood had been turned to gas and wanted to evaporate around him. The stars would stay glued to their spots on the darkened sky as if it was impossible for them to fall.
But Colin knew they could; they had fallen so easily on that small balcony in his family home more than six months ago, with his lips pressed to a certain redhead’s plump and inviting mouth. That particular redhead now seeped into his thoughts every moment she could and that was way more often than Colin had ever thought possible. Her lips had been seared onto his in a way that he could never forget and if he was honest with himself, maybe he didn’t want to forget. He hadn’t told anyone about that moment on the balcony with Penelope. It felt sacred somehow, as if he shared it with someone it might turn out not to be true.
He had tried to lock away the memory of that night when he left to travel again, he’d met up with Matt and tried to go on like normal. They moved from towns to cities and country to country, visiting ancient ruins as well as new modern architecture, then they’d go out every evening to different clubs and bars. They’d use their charming pick-up techniques that never let them down but Colin had grown unexpectedly tired, it wasn’t what he wanted anymore. But why wasn’t it?
“I’m sorry, Matt. I’ve just been really into my writing at the moment.”
It wasn’t a lie, though he was also divulging from the truth. He had been writing a lot more, his words coming easier to him than ever before though he couldn’t pinpoint the cause, and had used this as the perfect excuse to not visit home at all in the last six months he’d been gone. Since being back in Greece, one of his favourite places, he’d almost filled another notebook and only a couple of pages currently remained.
“It’s your mother’s birthday soon right? Are you going back for it?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe it’ll do you some good to be home then, you might be homesick for the first time ever.”
Matt had meant it as a joke, a way to add some humour to the current topic of conversation, but it didn’t hit quite right. It felt like there was some truth behind it, perhaps he was homesick; but what for? He’d been travelling for over eight years now and he’d never had this feeling before, as if something was trying to tether him down.
His blonde friend gripped him on the shoulder as a farewell for the evening before heading out the door and leaving Colin alone once more.
Now surrounded by silence, Colin put his pen down on the table and took a swig of his now lukewarm beer, the drink leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He raised his fingers to his lips and was about to press them there when he stopped himself, shaking his head to stop it from going down the road it was beginning to tread…
Letting out a sigh, he stood up and put his pen in his pocket and tucked his journal under his arm. He’d decided on a sunset walk, the beautiful scenery and atmosphere of the island often uplifted his spirits. As Matt had said, his mother’s birthday was in a few days so he was heading back soon. He might not be as in the moment of his travels as he used to be, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to appreciate what was around him these last few days.
He headed down to the small beach just in front of their villa, taking off his shoes as he hit the soft yet grainy sand underneath his bare feet. He took himself to the water’s edge, only tiny waves lapped towards him but other than that, the sea was calm. A slight ocean breeze drifted over him and he sighed as it brushed through his hair to cool him. His face lifted up to the sinking sun on instinct and he allowed himself a few moments to absorb it’s presence before sitting down on the sand beneath him. He felt content again, this moment exactly what he needed, before he took out his journal and carried on writing.
After a couple of minutes something called out to Colin to look back up and his breath hitched at the sight before him. The cast of the sun setting behind the expanse of water now reflected a deeper red that mixed with the orange hues from before. He could imagine himself reaching out and touching it, the beams of red just like locks of hair that could be easily wrapped around a finger, brushed over a shoulder in kind, or even blown out of place by a light breeze.
The sea was a breath taking crystal blue that Colin knew far too well, it sparkled as it reflected the light as if it was laughing with every twirl of a dance. He wanted to dive right in and swim to the bottom, explore what lurked in the depths, even if it did eventually turn to a storm again and risk drowning him. A part of him knew, deep down, it would be worth the risk.
So he wrote, the words capturing what he saw and felt before him. He didn’t stop, and found he couldn’t even bring himself to, until he reached the last page and the shadow of the night was over taking the day.
Finally taking his pen away from paper, he sat and looked up at the stars. He had the constellations mapped into his mind's eye, but instead of the night sky, they were etched onto creamy skin and brushed over the smallest of noses. The minuscule bursts and twinkles of light up above him now were much brighter out here than they ever would be back home with the city lights so close. Yet, somehow, Colin found himself preferring and wishing for the view back at home.
Even though he was going home for his Mother’s birthday, he could feel in his bones and the pulse of his heart that it was for much more than that - he just had to seek it out.
Colin was being tethered back home and right then he couldn't bring himself to mind.
That New Year’s Eve night finally flooded back to him in abundance and hung over him, mirroring the stars in the sky refusing to shift from his view. For the first time in months, Colin allowed himself to press his fingers to his lips and trace the imaginary branding there, the corners of his mouth turning up at the memory.
His eyes scanned through the pages he had just written and from there he saw her on every page; Penelope was weaved in everywhere, between every line and letter, there she was as if just waiting to be discovered. It felt so obvious now that he saw it. She had been the one to give him that last push to travel, she had been the one to navigate him to writing and pointed out his talent in this art that he hadn’t even realised himself. He wanted to show her what he had achieved and let her know just how grateful he was.
He turned to the first page, where it lay empty waiting for a title, and wrote two simple words of dedication.
For Penelope.