Archive of Our Own

Herbert hummed along to the music playing throughout the store. Ashley was a terrible influence, especially when it came to music, but he found he didn't mind as much as he used to. For example, he was currently standing in S-Mart, which certainly said enough about that. He sighed as he stared at the two different bags of flour in his hands. On one hand, he didn't need any flour, not necessarily, but on the other, he had had the urge to bake ever since he had heard Nurse Becker talk about her up-and-coming Potluck.

He wasn't going to go, of course. Other than not being invited, he didn't really socialize well. He was awkward and often said cruel things, a terrible habit he picked up in the Deadlands. He didn't antagonize his nurses, but he certainly wasn't friendly with them either.

He used to have friends in highschool and a few in college. But of course everything changed freshman year. He lost what few friends he had and he feels fear to his very core at the thought of contacting them. That's the kind of thing that happens when an evil version of yourself spawns out of your abdomen and you die.

Sturdy, warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and he felt his whole body tense and panic until he felt Ashley's chin rest on the top of his head. He let out a relieved breath and leaned into the safe embrace. He couldn't see it but he could tell Ashley was smiling when he said, "Whatcha got there, Babydoll?"

He wanted to deny his thoughts, but really there would be no point. Herbert didn't like keeping secrets from him, well not a secret as silly as flour. And Ashley was the one person he could always trust to not judge him, especially when things were silly. 

"I was considering baking something this weekend." He sighed and said, "I haven't baked in some time, I don't even know if our oven still works."

The last time he had even used the oven was the night Dan had left. He had been so upset his dish hadn't even been recognizable, let alone edible. Ashley took one of the bags out of his hands and placed it back on the shelf. 

"That's a shit brand and we have appliances on aisle 27. You should make a pie, an apple pie. Oh! Or a cherry pie!"

Herbert couldn't help but smile a little as he placed the bag of flour in his cart. 

"Who will eat all this pie? And before you say you, it's not you. You are not eating multiple whole pies, Ashley. I want you to live as long as I have." It was a worry of his, that Ashley's Chosen One status would bring him to an early grave, a grave that Herbert couldn't dig him out of. He looked up and could see that Ashley was pouting but clearly thinking about it. 

"Well sometimes your doodles eat. And whatever's left I can bring to work with me!" 

Oh, he could have melted right there on the floor. That Ash would consider his little creations, he'd have to make another one, with a functioning mouth. Then he paused for a moment. 

"Speaking of work, are you not on the clock right now? Will you get in trouble for fraternizing with the customer?" He said it teasingly and wiggled his shoulders lightly.

Ash checked his watch then winked. "Well I'm off the clock in twenty minutes, I'll join you in aisle 6 then."

Herbert wondered what was in aisle 6 when Ashley kissed him softly and walked away, very likely to the Housewares section. He looked back at the flour in his cart and realized he didn't really have anything to make pies. He did, however, have twenty minutes to get everything.

~   ~   ~ 

Ice cream. Aisle 6 was filled with ice cream. He didn't really eat ice cream, but Ashley loves the shit. So he supposed he should have known he'd like his pie à la mode. Especially considering that they had an entire pantry cabinet dedicated to sundae toppings, although they often used it for non sundae activities.

He didn't know what brand of ice cream to buy though. So he stood and stared. Eventually an employee approached him.

"Do you need assistance, sir? Perhaps a recommendation?"

He turned towards the woman. "Unless you know what brand of ice cream Ashley usually buys. You won't be able to help me much."

She stared at him in confusion for a moment until he realised. "Ashley. Ash Williams. He works here, in Housewares."

Understanding dawned on her face. "Oh Ash! Yes! Well he'll eat any ice cream. So that doesn't really narrow it down."

He bit his lip lightly. "Maybe something in Vanilla Bean. I'm making pie tonight, you see."

She nodded. "Häagen-Dazs has an amazing Vanilla Bean, but it's also kinda ritzy. Smart Value is the cheapest and I know Ash buys a lot of it, but it's not the best ice cream."

He hummed non-committently then said, "I'll get the Häagen-Dazs. A special ice cream for a special treat." He smiled and bounced on the back of his heels.

"BABYDOLL!" 

Herbert's head shot up and he saw Ashley jogging to them.

He smiled softly before the woman huffed, "What the Hell, Ash!? You can't just call someone that! I thought better of you!"

"Oh hi, Deb! I didn't see you there!" Ash just smiled and walked past her to wrap an arm around Herbert's shoulder. 

He smiled cockily. "What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?" Herbert just huffed. "Keep up with the poor flirting and I'll not make you pie tonight."

Ashley immediately pouted, "Aw come on, Babydoll." His arm slid around Herbert's waist. "You know I'm just tryin' to get that sweet sugar o' yours."

Herbert opened his mouth to retort when he heard a laugh.

The woman, Deb, had a hand over her mouth, "I'm so sorry. I didn't realize who you were, I really should have, he talks about you all the time!" She started to take a step back. "I'll leave you to it then, Ash. And remember. Shop smart!”

Herbert immediately groaned and Ashley responded, "Shop S-Mart!"

As she walked away Ash said, "That's Deborah, but most of us call her Deb…. Okay, so Smart Value is this way!" 

Ash started to walk down the aisle but Herbert grabbed his shirt and pulled in the other direction, "Smart Value may be that way but my pies deserve Häagen-Dazs."

Ash grinned and looked over Herbert in the shopping cart. "Did you decide on what pies you wanted to make?"

Herbert nodded but chewed his lip, wondering if he should make a pie for Deborah, since she'd likely be eating the leftovers. Ashley furrowed his brows and tried to figure out what piece of information he was missing.

"Ya know I think Deb's favorite kind of pie is blueberry. If, you know, you were still debating flavors."

Herbert looked in his cart. "We need more sugar then and blueberries. I have more than enough of everything else though."

Ashley smiled dumbly and Herbert just couldn't help himself but lean up and kiss him. This man truly understood the inner machinations of his mind. 

~   ~   ~  

Ashley was particularly hopeful that once the pies were in the oven he'd get the opportunity to eat Herbert out on the counter. It was his favorite activity after all. So he'd sat very nicely in the kitchen stepping chair and had even helped, when Herbert had asked for it. Two hours later and he no longer sat nicely, but at the very least, he had been rewarded with the leftover pie fillings…. and a blowie.

Herbert put the pies on the cooling rack. "You know I could make small breakfast pastries with that filling. If you don't eat it all." Ash just smiled with a mouthful of cinnamon apple goodness. Herbert huffed fondly and started to clean the kitchen, and himself, of the mess they had created. He usually made Ashley clean up all of their messes but he was in a doting mood today.

Ashley knew how much Herbert hated when he talked with his mouth full so he waited until he swallowed to say, "You and Deb seemed to get along real well. Maybe you two could hang out."

Herbert paused before continuing to wipe down the counter. "Why would I need to do that?"

Ash sighed, "Baby, you can pretend all you want but I know you get lonely."

Herbert scowled. "I'm not lonely. I have you." 

Ash set down the bowl and wrapped an arm around Herbert's waist, his hand pressing gently against Herbert's resurrection scar.

"And I have you and you make me incredibly happy, but I have friends and having friends is pretty nice. And I think you want friends too. You don't have to do much, okay. Just… just try to socialize more, okay?" 

Herbert took a shaky breath in. "I'll try."

It was moments like these that made Herbert understand why his boyfriend chose sex instead of talking about his problems, so he reached up and grabbed Ashley's chin, pulling him down for a kiss that turned heated.

He pulled away to moan, "Ashley? Can I lick cherry pie off of your abdomen?"

Ash picked up Herbert with one arm and a bowl with the other. "Only if I can eat ice cream off of yours."

Herbert hummed into the kiss, "Mmmmkay."

~   ~   ~

Herbert tapped his pen steadily against the clipboard and hummed lightly. He was in a wonderful mood. Ashley had fucked him silly in the shower this morning, his patients all had improved charts, and none of the nurses had asked him to deal with any rowdy doctors. It was a good day. Plus, he had Nurse Becker with him for rounds this afternoon. She was an exceptional nurse. Always did her job well and never let anyone get away with tomfoolery. He respected her very much.

He placed the chart back on its hook. "Well Mr. Couller, you'll be out of here in two days. You have been steadily improving and your elongated stay here is no longer necessary."

He turned towards Nurse Becker. "Please note to start reducing his medications and give him a prescription slip for his dosage in three days."

She wrote down the information on her notepad. "He's our last patient in rounds, Doctor. Will you need any other assistance for the shift?"

He shook his head. "Only emergency cases, if else, I'll call by eye."

They walked out of the room and he noticed that she seemed withheld. "Is there an issue, Nurse Becker?"

She seemed slightly caught off guard before resolving herself. "I have a personal inquiry to make. If you will allow it."

He steadied himself to hear that once again Doctor Clarkson was harassing nurses, and nodded for her to continue.

"Have you ever considered dating anyone?"

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before responding, "I am dating someone."

She seemed surprised but surged on, "Oh, what's her name?" 

"His name is Ashley."

"A man! I didn't know you were Queer! Not that there's anything wrong with it of course!"

He nodded awkwardly. "Yes, I am a homosexual."

She smiled. "Well what's he like?"

"He is an idiot," Herbert smiled softly. "Probably the biggest idiot you'll ever meet."

She smiled even wider. "I should meet him then! My potluck is tomorrow! You should bring him!" She started to write down furiously in her notepad before ripping off a page and holding it out to him. "Here, it's my number and address. The potluck is at 3pm, bring whatever you want!"

He took the slip of paper as they heard her name get called to the reception desk. She waved as she walked away and he just stared blankly. What would he bring? What was acceptable to bring? He needed to call Ashley immediately to inform him of their change in plans. Should he even go? This all happened so quickly. He felt panic start bloom in his chest and he practically ran to the nurses desk.

"I need to use the phone."

Nurse Albani handed him the phone and he quickly typed in the extension and his home number. He leaned his elbows on the counter and tapped erratically until Ashley picked up.

"Hello, West residence."

His heart was pounding in his chest. "Ashley, we have an issue!" 

"Woah, woah, Babydoll, calm down. Is it cultists?"

He took a stuttered breath. "No, cultists I could handle."

"Is it Deadites!?"

His breathing started to even out. "No, Ashley. You know they don't fuck with me."

"Oh, yeah, right. Is it the shower sex? Did I hurt you this morning?"

He blushed lightly. "Oh no, I'm not hurt and I love shower sex, you know that. No. It's so much worse than all of those things. We've been invited to a potluck."

"..."

He felt the panic start to bubble again. "Ashley? Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard. Are we going? It's okay if you don't want to go, ya know."

He kicked his shoe against the floor. "I guess I'd like to go, but what do we bring? What's even appropriate to bring to a potluck!? Oh Ashley, I've never even gone to one before! What do you even do there?"

"Take a deep breath, Baby. It's just a social thing. You bring food. You eat food. You mingle. You can even leave early."

Herbert stood up straight. "We can leave early?"

"Yeah, Babydoll. We can leave early. And you can bring pie. I had some of the apple today, but there's still the cherry and blueberry. There's still lots of filling left too!"

Herbert scowled. "Please tell me you didn't eat a whole pie, Ashley."

"I didn't eat a whole pie."

He narrowed his eyes. "You better not be lying to me."

"Just focus on your shift, Babe. I'll make up an emergency bag for this potluck and you can go over it when you get home."

Herbert let out a relieved sigh, "Okay…. I'm sorry if I made you panic."

"I just want to make sure you're okay. I…. I love you, Herbert."

Herbert gasped then softly whispered, "I love you too, Ashley."

"I'll talk to you later, bye!"

Herbert tried to respond but Ash had hung up.

Herbert listened to the dial tone for a moment before placing the phone back on the receiver.

"So you're going to the potluck?"

Herbert whipped his head up and stared at Nurse Albani. He had forgotten she was there. "Um. Yes. I am."

She tapped her pen lightly. "Are you bringing Ashley?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm bringing him. I don't think I could go without him."

"That's so sweet," she cooed, "I had no idea you were such a sweetheart!"

He could feel his face begin to heat up. "Well I suppose, yes. I, um, I have to check on some patients." He immediately turned tail and walked down the hallway.

Sweet. No one calls him sweet. Well Ashley calls him sweet, but that's because Ashley is a ridiculous man. He supposed Evil Ashley had called him sweet too. But that had been so different, half the time he had said it in cruel derision. The other half, well he wouldn't think about the other half. It wouldn't do well to dwell on one's ex after all.

Suddenly a solid force rammed into him and he was on the ground. He heard a clatter of metal on tile and he rubbed his shoulder as he sat up. He looked around and saw multiple clipboards and medical charts on the floor, and Nurse Hansen. He stood as quickly as possible and held out a hand to help her up.

"I am terribly sorry, I wasn't thinking properly. I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings."

She took his hand and he pulled her up, while she dusted off her scrubs he started to pick up the charts and clipboards. He felt her dusting off something from his coat.

"What's gotten into you, Doctor West? You're usually so collected."

He started to organize the papers to their correct order. "I'm just a little flustered."

She took some of the clipboards and looked over them to ensure that they were indeed still correct. "That's very unlike you." She paused for a moment. "Do you wish to talk about it?"

He stopped moving, then his shoulders slumped. "I've been invited to Nurse Becker's potluck and I'm worried."

She took the rest of the clipboards. "Worried about what?"

He sighed, "I'm not exactly a socialite, Nurse Hansen. I don't go to events. I don't make friends. I can't even tell you how I managed to get a boyfriend, because I genuinely don't know." He wrapped his arms around his stomach. "The last social event I went to was literal Hell. And I certainly don't want a repeat performance of that."

She hummed. "Well if it's any consolation, I'm something of a wallflower myself. So if it all gets too much you can stand by the table with me and we don't have to speak."

He furrowed his brows. "Why do you go if you do not enjoy it?"

She shrugged. "I guess it's more for my girlfriend then anything else. She's the socialite. And I don't not enjoy it. It's just tiring after a while."

He nodded. "Thank you. I suppose I will see you then."

She gave a half smile. "I'll see you then," and then she walked away.

He thought about what she said for the rest of his shift. He thought about what Ashley said the night before. And he thought about how long it had been since he'd had a proper friend. He didn't count Dan. Dan wasn't a good friend. He wasn't a good friend to Dan either, but he had certainly tried harder than Dan.

He picked up take out on the way home and was greeted by the living room being a mess.

"What exactly have you done, Ashley?"

Ash came running down the stairs and gave Herbert a soft kiss in greeting. "What did you get?"

He handed Ashley the food. "I got Chinese, don't avoid the question."

Ash placed the food on the coffee table and then gestured to the items on the floor. "I have assembled our emergency bag! A box of birdshot, a sawed-off shotgun, two bowie knives, the emergency surgery kit, the emergency medical kit, a box of granola bars, three bottles of water, a small flask of Re-Agent, two syringes, and lastly, one large bouncy ball."

"What's the rest of the stuff for?"

Ash started to unpack the Chinese. "That's for variation or if you wanted to add anything extra. Which one is yours? The mei fun or the sweet and sour chicken?"

Herbert sat down. "The mei fun, but we're sharing the dumplings. Can we pack some bread rolls?"

Ashley nodded. "I'll try not to eat all of the dumplings. Do you want strawberry or grape jam?”

He broke his chopsticks and said, "Grape. Could you hand me a soy sauce packet?"

Ash handed him a couple and kissed his cheek. "I told you I could handle this, Baby."

Herbert blushed lightly. "I love you."

Ash turned red as a tomato. "I love you too, Babydoll…. Are we gonna talk about that or?"

Herbert shook his head. "We've had enough emotions tonight. The only thing I want to talk about is how your day was… And whether or not I'm sitting on your face tonight."

"Yes and Yes!"

~   ~   ~

Ash had done everything he could to get Herbert to relax. Two more orgasms in the morning, a cuddling session on the couch, debating doodle creation ideas, and having Herbert read medical textbooks to him. They all helped but none of them solved his fretting.

Herbert had ended up panicking and making mini pies out of all the leftover filling and they had a bitch of a time figuring out how to transport them all safely in the car. But they had gotten them in. And they had arrived at Nurse Becker's house. And Herbert was still panicking.

Herbert chewed in his thumb nail. "What if they tell us to leave?"

Ash gently pulled Herbert's hand towards himself. "Then we'll leave and we'll know better in the future."

Herbert opened his mouth to give another protest but Ash leaned forward and kissed him soundly.

When he pulled away Ash murmured, "I'll be right here, okay Babydoll?"

Herbert nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this."

They got out of the car and a tall man with sandy blond hair came out of the house. "Hey there! Let me help you with those!"

Ash waved with his simple prosthetic hand. "Thank God! I was worried we'd have to take more than one trip!"

The man took the two pie boxes out of Herbert's hands. "You must be Ashley."

Herbert immediately scowled. "No I'm Dr. West. He is Ashley."

The man immediately back peddled. "I'm sorry. It's just Shannon always describes you like a knight in shining armor, I figured you were a bigger guy. Let's try this again. Hi, I'm Thomas Becker. I'm Shannon's husband and I'm very glad to meet the man that defends my wife."

Herbert threw an unsure look over his shoulder at Ash, who in return made a "Go On" motion with his hand. "Hi, I'm Doctor Herbert West. This is my boyfriend, Ashley Williams. And I am very grateful to have been invited to your potluck." 

Thomas balanced the pies on one hand and gave Herbert a firm handshake. "Now let's get these out to eat. They smell amazing!"

Herbert ducked his head and Ash had to use all the willpower in his body not to immediately kiss him. How could anyone ever question why he'd date such a wonderful man!?

Thomas led them to the backyard, there were a few other people already present and Herbert was grateful for that. He spotted Nurse Becker, or rather Shannon, at the table and they made their way over to her.

When she saw them she clapped her hands together and spoke excitedly, "You must be Ashley! I am so excited to meet you! You know you've stirred up quite the gossip mill at the hospital." She winked and then gestured to a woman next to her. "This is Diana Thompson, you'll probably meet her husband George later. They're our neighbors!"

Diana put out her hand, which they both shook. "You two don't have to worry, you aren't our first queers!"

Shannon smiled apologetically but Diana continued, "I have to ask though. Which one of you has a medical degree and which works at S-Mart?"

She chuckled to herself and Herbert responded, "I am the medical professional and Ashley works at S-Mart."

Everyone laughed and Diana said, "Okay, now jokes aside. What do you actually do?"

Herbert and Ash shared a confused look and Ash said, "Herbie's a doctor and I work at S-Mart, in Housewares."

Shannon gave a confused, "You're not joking?"

And Herbert scowled. "Why would anyone joke about such a thing?"

"ASH!" "Dr. West!"

They both turned to see Deborah pulling Nurse Hansen towards them. Herbert felt his box being removed from his hand before Deborah flung her arms around him.

"I'm so glad you're here! I didn't get to apologise for being so awkward the other day! And I can't believe you're The Doctor West! Oh I feel so silly! I mean of course you're Dr. West! I should have put two and two together!" She leaned heavily on him and he felt his weight start to tip back. He was about to panic when he felt Ashley's broad chest press against him and a reassuring hand on his hip.

He heard Nurse Hansen say, "Debby, stop. Let the poor man stand. Just because he's dating Ash doesn't mean he can pick you up like Ash."

Deborah pulled away but kept her hands on his shoulders. "Well maybe Herbie wants a good hug! Did ya think about that, Sue?"

He then felt Ashley's wooden hand press awkwardly into the small of his back and saw him pull Deborah in a one armed hug.

Ash whined, "How come he gets first greeting? You only met him two days ago!”

She giggled and shoved him off and they proceeded to have a weird not quite aggressive wrestling match in the yard.

Susan sighed and handed Shannon a large bowl. "We brought potato salad."

Herbert looked at the table and saw his pies had been placed out. "We brought pie."

Then Deborah immediately stood and shouted, "You brought pie!? Like the pie you made!? You made pie!? Like you actually did that!? That's amazing! Ash, you lucky dog! How did you manage to get such a catch? Ya know Herbie, were I not wildly homosexual, I would snatch you up!"

Herbert felt his face heat up and he gave a small smile. "I made apple, cherry, and blueberry pies and tarts. And to be entirely honest, Deborah, were I not a homosexual I would snatch you up as well."

She gasped and laughed. "Oh you player! How'd you know those were my favorites? I'm going to eat all of them!"

Sue sighed, "No, you're not. You can get at most three, but I am not toting you home like an ER patient just because you want to gorge."

Deborah pouted and hugged Herbert's arm. "You'll let me eat all the pies right?"

Herbert smiled and said, "No."

She gasped and laughed loudly. "Oh Herbie you are going places here! Now let's go! Present your wares to me, oh Piemaker!"

He couldn't help but smile lightly as pulled her slightly out of the group towards the table. "You were right, by the way. Häagen-Dazs was a good choice."

When they got there Deborah took command and started to talk, quietly, about which foods were likely to be good or not. They gently walked around the yard while she gushed about his pies for a solid thirty minutes before spotting someone and giving a quick, "I'll be right back!" Before bolting over to them. Herbert looked over the yard and saw Ashley speaking with Thomas and another man, presumably George based off of the way Diana clung to his arm. Ashley seemed to be enjoying himself, he did always enjoy parties and events. Perhaps Herbert could go out more.

As more people he didn't know filed in he felt his chest begin to tighten. There were so many people and as his eyes dashed across the many faces he realised he could no longer see anyone he knew. His grip on his plate tightened and he tried to remember what direction the table was. He saw someone approaching in his peripheral and moved in the opposite direction. Which thankfully was the correct way for his intended destination.

His heart was hammering in his chest when he spotted Susan and he felt some tension bleed out of him. He didn't run, per say, but he did walk rather quickly over to her side.

She gave an understanding smile and said, "Lost Deb?"

He nodded. "She saw someone she knew."

She just sighed and shook her head. "Deb can be a bit if an air head sometimes. I hope you don't hold it against her."

He raised a brow and said, "I'm dating Ashley Williams. Apparently, I like air heads."

They both chuckled and Susan said, "How did you end up with a man like that anyhow? He's so outgoing, but you're really not. Deb and I were lucky. I had gotten lost in S-Mart and she has no filter. But you two? Unless someone set it up?"

He sighed and leaned against the high wooden fence. "We met a few times before, not one of them on good terms I should say. And you're right. Had the moment not been perfect we would not be together today. I don't handle my emotions very well, let alone other's. And he was sobbing a mess and as it turns out Ashley brings thinking with your dick to a whole new level. So we fucked."

Susan sputtered on her drink for a moment before giving a go on gesture with her free hand. He patted her back gently and said, "I actually thought he was going to leave me when he asked if it'd be okay if we dated. That was maybe three weeks ago. Did you get water in your lungs? Do you need assistance?"

She smacked her chest a couple of times and coughed a couple of times before straightening her back and saying, "No. No. I'm fine. I was just so caught off guard! I don't think I've ever heard you curse before."

Herbert blushed slightly. "I have found Ashley to be a terrible influence."

"Terrible influence 'bout what?"

They both jumped at the voice and Herbert whipped his head up to stare at Ashley. "I curse now."

Ashley mouthed an "Oh" and then moved behind Herbert to wrap his arms around the smaller man. Herbert felt lips at his neck and felt his face burn.

He gave an indignant, "Ashley!?"

But the only response he got was feeling Ash begin to suck a hickey just beneath his jawline.

Only once he was satisfied with his work did Ash pull away and rest his chin on Herbert's shoulder. "I needed my afternoon sugar kick to keep me going, Babydoll."

Herbert huffed and said, "You can have sugar later, we're in polite company right now, Ashley."

Ash nuzzled Herbert's neck and said, "You best believe I'm taking your word for that." He loosened his grip and straightened his back, but still held Herbert close. "Just let me stay over here. I don't think I can handle any more weird queer questions from Mister Straight Guy over there. You know, he had the balls to ask if I was a catcher or a pitcher? Who asks that kind of question to someone you met less than an hour ago!? And why is it always one and never both?"

Susan had an irritated look on her face and nodded. "Yeah, Diana asked the same invasive questions to me and Deb. I assume you're talking about George? What'd you say to him?"

Ash gave a quick nod and said, "I lied and said that I always took it just to see the look on his face."

Herbert sighed and leaned back. "If he approaches me I'm leaving. I don't want to converse with this man. And what did I tell you about talking about our sex life to Strangers!?"

Ash kissed his cheek. "You said not to."

Herbert gave a deadpan stare. "That's right. I said not to."

Ashley stared at him and he glared back but eventually he relented and sighed. "You're lucky I love you so."

Ash gave a smug smirk and pulled Herbert suspiciously close. "You're damn right I'm lucky!"

Herbert was about to continue the banter when Shannon rushed over to them. Her voice was strained and exhausted when she said, "Dr. West, I have a formal request. I need you to get Dr. Clarkson to stop. His behavior is becoming intolerable. I just got off the phone with Nurse Deidra and she has informed me that he has begun harassing my girls, saying he won't get reprimanded because he donates. And I just can't tolerate it anymore! The only person who gets him to stop is you. Please, Dr. West, we're begging you. Make that sorry sack of a man stop!"

He scowled fiercely. "Of course he waits until the day I have free to start his regular harassment. He's almost as bad as Hill... Don't fret, Shannon. I think Clarkson will reconsider his stance after he assists me with surgery."

He had a cruel smile on his face that was promptly ruined when Ashley kissed his cheek. "I love when you get all feral!"

Herbert pouted. "Ashley, please. I'm trying to be brooding here."

Ashley just kissed his pouting lips before walking away towards the grill.

After another four hours the party had begun to wind down and most people had left. But Herbert stood in the middle of the yard with the nurses and their significant others. He felt incredibly tired but he was enjoying himself too much to walk away. He felt Ashley wrap his arms around his waist and swayed with him slightly. He hummed lightly when he felt Ash's lips press again his cheek but paused when they pressed against his neck.

"Ashley. What do you think you're doing?"

His voice was low and threatening but he felt Ash smile and say, "I'm cashin' in that sugar sugar check, if you know what I mean."

He rolled his eyes and heard Deborah groan. "Everyone knows what you mean, Ash! You pervert! Do that at your own house!"

Ashley smirked and said, "What do you think I'm trying to do right now? But seriously. We should be getting home, Babydoll. It's late and you promised me I'd get to eat-"

Herbert slapped his hand over Ash's mouth. "Ashley! Not in polite company!" He felt his face begin to burn and Ash just smiled and kissed his hand.

He sighed and looked over at Shannon. "Thank you for your hospitality. I am very grateful to have been invited to your social gathering. But apparently I must leave at this very moment."

She had a look of mock seriousness. "I completely understand." Then she smiled and said, "I hope that this is the mark of a beautiful friendship."

He felt a shy smile form on his face. "I hope so too."

Then he felt the arms around his waist tighten and he smacked Ash in the face. "If you pick me up before we're at our house, I will gut you."

Ashley smiled deviously as he began leading Herbert out of the yard. "Are you going to hang my guts from the battlements?"

Herbert pushed Open the gate and sighed, "Ashley, we don't have battlements and before you ask, we're not getting battlements either."

Ash pulled the car keys out of his pocket and opened the Oldsmobile. "If we were in the 1300s we'd have battlements."

Herbert sat down then leaned over and kissed his cheek. "If we were in the 1300s I'd be hanged or burned for witchcraft, Love."

Ash turned the key and said, "I'd never let that happen, Babydoll."

Herbert smiled and said, "Maybe chivalry isn't dead."

Ashley smiled back. "Maybe you just re-animated it."