Work Text:
Holding the other boy’s metal hand he thought back to that time when he had woken up from the program. The hand had been the same as the one that he had seen from the memory of their meeting on the boat. The hand that held so many memories. The hand that held so much pain. He had reached it out and Hajime had grabbed it.
Despite Junko having been defeated she would always remain in their memories but at least the visual reminders of her could be taken away. That was one of the many things he told himself when he asked the other boy if he could remove it.
Of course that wasn’t the only reason why he wanted it gone. Having a piece of a corpse attached to a wound wasn’t exactly the most hygenic thing, even if the wound was mostly healed.
Somehow Nagito’s luck had kept the hand from rotting, how was a mystery even to the vast amount of knowledge that Izuru held but Hajime was thankful for whatever miracle that had happened. The last thing they needed to deal with was the smell of a rotting corpse. That was not to say that the hand hadn’t smelled, no the others had been complaining about it ever since Nagito had woken up. Though he assumed that they probably just wanted it gone so they could start forgetting all about what junko had done to them. And what they had done to themselves.
Not everyone seemed to be trying to forget though. When Hajime had asked Fuyuhiko if he wanted a proper replacement for the eye that he had removed to make room for Junko’s he had declined. He had said that he needed to remember what he had done, that he needed to make sure that it never happened again.
Nagito had said something similar in the beginning as well. That he needed to be punished for turning away from hope. Maybe he would have been impossible to convince if it weren't for the complaint about the smell, but in the end Hajime was finally able to get him to agree.
Making the arm had been less work than dealing with Nagito but it still hadn’t been all that easy. He wasn’t as used to all those talents as Izuru had been and he wanted to make sure that it was perfect. He doubted that Nagito would have complained if something was wrong with it but to Hajime that was only a bigger reason as to why there couldn’t be any problems with it. Though he might have been wrong, you never knew with Nagito. Maybe he would have given him that look that screamed that he is looking down at you while saying something like “Is this all that you can accomplish?”
Hajime would probably have been surprised if he got that reaction, he had at some point been thinking of purposely making it flawed just so he maybe would get an unexpected reaction. Ever since he fused with Izuru he had developed a need for things to turn out unexpected. But he knew that he didn’t want to risk causing Nagito any discomfort. The other man had it bad enough without his boyfriend actively trying to make life harder for him.
Though at that time they hadn’t been in a relationship yet. Things had still been awkward due to the killing game and Hajime still held some conflicted feelings for Chiaki. After the surgery however, they had grown closer. Since Hajime also had ultimate luck now Nagito had felt able to get close to him. Though he would still worry over Hajime potentially dying every now and then.
Life wasn’t easy for any of the former despairs and sometimes Hajime would ask himself if they even deserved to get better, if they should instead just keep suffering as a penalty for what they had done to the world. It wasn’t as if he couldn't understand Nagitio’s desire to keep the corpse hand, or Fuyuhiko’s stubbornness about remaining blind in one eye.
However, it was in moments like this, when he was sitting next to Nagito on the beach, not saying much and just enjoying eachothers company while holding hands that Hajime could put those thoughts aside. He knew that he wanted this, it didn’t matter whether he deserved it or not. As long as he and the people that he cared about were happy.