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When thinking of the destination to escape to she wasn’t thinking of anything in particular. Sure, no human presence was ideal, but she would settle for anything. She just wanted out. Out of this place where feelings were complicated. Out of the world where everybody wanted something from her. Out of the irritating sounds of a ringing phone and dings and chimes. Just… out. Far away, for a moment of peace.
She could feel the irritation tingling under her fingers, trying desperately to get out anyway it could. Smash the glass, throw the papers, shut the annoying voices out. It would be so easy to just let it go. Let the emotions reign over her, let them claim what they want. Just for a moment, to feel better...
Before any of her feelings could escape her grip and wreak havoc all around, damage something, anything, she did the next best thing. Grab the car keys and go. Out to the world of constant pressure and noises. To go somewhere to let feelings consume her all, and set free the anger bubbling inside her.
It was a pleasant day, anger and irritation notwithstanding. Sun shining, warming up the summer air, playing chase with few clouds in the sky. Soft melody was coming from the speakers, quietly calming her nerves. Her immediate destination was just out of the city, the farther, the better. Other than that she didn’t have a place in mind.
A left turn here, a right two over, take a smaller road, instead of the main ones. And just let yourself be.
After some time, the road she was following turned into a dirt path following the edge of the forest. It didn’t take her a long time to decide that a walk could help with the rest of the nervous energy simmering inside.
Stepping into the forest felt like stepping through a magic barrier.
There wasn’t anything inherently different in this place compared to any other in the universe. The paths weren’t made from any other dirt that you could find. The stones building the place were the same stones used building the village next over all those years ago. The trees would swish with the winds gently moving the small patches of sun in the grass bellow. In the clearing, the same white and orange flowers would grow in the spring creating most delicate patterns.
And yet, this place wasn’t like anything she sees has ever seen. If you look up, the trees seem to try to reach to the sky itself, stretching tall and mighty, looming over anyone who entered the forest. The leaves would dance with the sun, flickering its rays over on the ground down below.
The path was winding, never straight, splitting seemingly into most random parts, as if making sure only few could reach the heart of a forest.
Nothing was ever scary or dark in here. A random passerby could assume, this place is just like any other forests. A woodland where birds can create endless melodies and flowers can glow undisturbed. It was a place of peace that you wouldn’t want to unsettle. Until you reach a clearing that would open up to a different place. Frozen in time, almost like guarding some secret, only a few were allowed to see.
Stepping into the clearing felt like stepping into a mystical place.
The trees were creating a barrier between the outside world and the one over here, stone structures dotted around without any rhyme or reason. They looked like houses, built a long time ago. Walls still standing, showing no signs of the time passing since the last visit. They were simple, small buildings with paths turning from one place to another.
The stone was strong, covered in moss and vines growing for so many years. The grass was ticking her ankles as she was walking around. She wondered how many memories this place holds, secluded, forgotten and yet still standing in the middle of the forest. She reached to touch the edge of the stones. The surface was almost smooth, polished over the years with only a few coarse places where the rain couldn’t reach.
There was something about this place, something she couldn’t put her finger on. A feeling lost a long time ago trying to come back to her, trying to awaken inside of her.
Walking aimlessly she reached a different building, open without sturdy walls protecting it. One lonely facade stanging tall surrounded by four smaller pillars around, marking four directions of the world. The path leading to the centre of this structure was slowly turning from dirt to stone.
There was something different about this structure. She couldn’t quite see what was it but the feeling inside of her was sure. Stone used to create it was precisely the same as all of the other buildings around. The grass wasn’t greener, and the same white and orange flowers were dotted around. But the structure stood tall and strong unlike any buildings surrounding it. She thought that maybe it’s the shape of it. Small, yet different from all the other buildings she saw. Standing in the centre of it all, so it must have been important for the people who lived here long ago.
She took a step forward, feeling the inviting pull of the stones. Coming closer she noticed intricate patterns carved on the stones. They would weave and turn creating waves and loops stretching over the entire wall. On the first glance it looked like the there was no pattern, no logic in the lines carved out. She touched one of the indentations following the line with a finger. The soft sound followed, similar to brush strokes on a canvas when a master is creating its peace.
A feeling went through the forest. A deep breath is taken after years of slumber. The whole woodland felt more alive minute by minute, singing the forgotten song of its place. The more lines she would mark with her hand, the more birds would join in creating a cascade of sounds
Soon, she found a line that leads to the centre of the stone. It looked sharper than the other ones, less worn out by the time.
It could be a trick of and eye, a broken sunray reflected from a nearby surface, but the closer the line would take her to the centre she saw more shadows following her hand. A white mist of past selfs doing the same as she is now. Marking the lines anew.
She should be scared. Everything that was happening around her should make her run away, as far as possible… and yet she stood still, surrounded by a feeling.
It was a good feeling. Extraordinary even. And oh, so different from all of the feelings she felt today.
The closer she was to the centre the stronger the feeling was. Were they her past lives or maybe her ancestors coming to the same place in the times of need?
She rested her hand in the middle of the stone, looking at the shadows soon following suit until everything became one.
Questions, one after another were quickly forming on her lips, but as she turned to look around nobody was there to answer any of them.
“Why me?” Slipped quietly from her lips. Even if she was the one asking the question, she wasn’t sure she wanted an answer. Not when it could threaten the quiet of the forest.
Letting out a breath she hasn’t realised she was holding, she rested her head on the stone facade.
“All I wanted was peace…”
A small breeze picked up as if letting her know she was not alone.
She looked up.
The sun was shining on her face, warming her up with a thousand rays. In the distance, birds were creating a new song just for her to listen. Small clouds were dancing in the summer sky changing from one shape to another.
She almost forgot the struggles of the day. Maybe it was the stones draining her negative energy? Leaving her blissfully empty and content for the first time today. Maybe it was the quiet of the forest? Or a magical power bringing her here. Whatever it was it made her feel whole and herself again.
As she was slowly going back to her car, leaving the stones behind she promised herself that she would remember this feeling. Even when the darkness would come back again - and she was sure it would at some point - she would hold to this feeling and the world could come out of the darkness again.