Chapter Text
“Aelin, my sweet dear niece, don’t you see the beautiful city of Orynth? What could’ve been sweetheart? It could still be you know, all you have to do is give me one word, just one simply measly little word, can you do that for me?” Maeve purred a snake’s caress.
Aelin thought about it, about how wonderful it would be to have her people freed again, about how amazing and beautiful Maeve was, about--.
“No!” She screamed, this was just another one of Maeve’s illusions. It wasn't real. It wasn’t real. It. Wasn’t. Real.
“Niece, I’m disappointed in you.” Maeve smiled an adder’s smile, “Well, Cairn, you know what to do, don’t you?”
Cairn approached with a grin of pure cruelty. Step by agonizing step. Closer and closer and--.
Aelin gasped and woke up to the face of Ren Allsbrook. A nightmare. Just another nightmare. She pushed back and slowed her breathing, well aware that all the fae in the room could hear her heart beating erratically.
Where was she? Right, she was in the middle of a meeting with her inner circle discussing what to do with the rebuilding of the city.
Someone passed her a glass of water, which she gratefully took, she looked up and saw Lord Lorcan out of all the people looking concerned at her! She must’ve done something really bad this time if even he was worried. She swallowed hard and tried to think of what she could have possibly done during that dream. Did she scream? No, she couldn’t have. Could she?
She looked around her at everyone, raising one eyebrow to the unspoken question. It was Ren who answered her.
“You were fine, but you suddenly just passed out, and you start writhing in your seat li-like you were being tortured or something” he shuddered at the word tortured.
To this everyone in the room looked away, not meeting Aelin’s eyes. She had to find a way to settle this, to make everyone believe her to be okay.
“Well, were you all worried for me? Which one of you males pissed your pants?” She drawled, leaning back into her throne-like chair.
Fenrys blinked at her five times: This is real, you are awake.
Aedion said quietly, “We can take a break right now, I think that we’ve done more than enough for today,”
An offer but a lie all the same. They had much more to do, today’s meeting hadn’t even covered half off all the topics they were supposed to discuss.
Fireheart, you should rest, I can handle things from here. Rowan said in that silent way that only he could, having read the concerns in her eyes.
“Rest. You’ve done more than enough already. As your blood-sworn, I can handle things from here.” Lorcan commanded bluntly as the commander that he was. An order in her best interests but an order all the same. Fenrys bared his teeth, having heard the order as well but did nothing more having seen the order from Aelin’s eyes. He would not act without her command.
Ren having not been filled in about what happened during the war looked slightly confused. Eyes darting between all the males in the room, who were glaring in the way that only an immortal could.
They’ve managed to keep Aelin’s capture a secret for the most part, only the select few people that Aelin told knew. But news would spread; like it always does.
Aelin sighed. “At this rate, the moment I leave this room, you’re all going to start pissing on my furniture,”
All the males looked at her slightly bemused.
“Why ever would you think that my dear queen?” responded Fenrys with a smirk.
Aelin threw up her hands in the air and said “ You’re all staring at each other like you want to rip out each other’s throats!”
Slight chuckles arose from around the room, tensions still high in the air.
“Majesty…” Lorcan said quietly, a plea, a plea to go and rest.
“Alright, alright, but let’s wrap this meeting up first,”
Lorcan looked like he was going to argue but thought better of it, smart male as all of the fae in the room looked ready to start feasting on him for dinner.
They finished the rest of the meeting several hours later having decided on many different things regarding what to do with the city. The rest of the court took their exits shortly after, Lorcan and Fenrys staying behind. Elide and Rowan going ahead having seen the nods from their partners.
Aelin stayed in her seat and watched the two males. Fenrys by the door, looking weary and unsure at Lorcan. Hands besides his weapons ready to take Lorcan on should he decide to hurt his queen. Lorcan was watching her as she watched him. Aelin decided to break the silence first.
“Well, well, well, to what do I owe the pleasure to you lovely males,” her eyes roving up and down their bodies in a way that she knew they hated.
Lorcan got out of his seat and walked toward her until he was besides her. Aelin looked at him curiously, wondering what he was going to do next. Lorcan got to his knees and bowed, with forehead flat to the ground. A gasp sounded through the room, clearly Fenrys had not expected this either. Aelin sat in shock, it was not everyday that she was surprised, but Lorcan Salvaterre, now Lorcan Lochan, was not someone that she expected to ever bow before her. She was dreaming, she must be dreaming. Lorcan simply could not be bowing to her like that.
Aelin stilled. “What are you doing?” her voice coming out cold and not at all like her own.
Forehead still pressed to the ground, he spoke: “My queen, you have been my queen since the day I met you although I did not know it at the time. I have made many mistakes in the past and I have never regretted them as I do now. Let me prove my allegiance to you. Blood oath or no, you are the one that I will serve ‘till the end of my days. I serve you Aelin Gal--.”
“Lorcan, stop.” The male stilled, stopping mid-sentence in his speech of undying loyalty.
He opened his mouth a couple of times but no sounds came out. Aelin realized then that she used the blood oath without even realizing it. A strangled sound came out of her throat, she had promised that she would never use the blood oath against them. She released Lorcan but he stayed still for seconds longer.
Aelin pressed her hand to her mouth, “I’m sorry, gods Lorcan, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize. I didn’t mean to,” she said, the last part coming out as a sob.
Lorcan was beside her in an instant having come out of his kneeling position.
“Use the blood oath on me whenever you wish, majesty”
Aelin’s sobs broke into slight laughs. “Is this your idea of some sort of self-penance?”
“I do not mind it so much when it is you who hold the leash,” he replied, not answering her question. From the look in his eyes, he knew as much.
Aelin smiled a slight smile, a sad and tired one, with the wisdom of centuries in her eyes. She leaned forward until she put both her hands on the sides of Lorcan’s cheeks. A test, a test of trust. One move and Lorcan would be dead, his neck snapped from his body with only one swift move of her hands. Lorcan’s breathing caught for a moment, barely perceptible but stayed still, letting his queen decide his fate. Aelin turned his head to face her, looking him in the eye, she said “You owe me nothing Lorcan, you don’t need to punish yourself for anything,”
Before Lorcan could nod or say anything, she was gone, already out the room and down the hall. The door had been opened by Fenrys. He sighed through his nose and stood up and made to follow her. But before he could, Fenrys closed the door gently and stood before it. Lorcan waited. Fenrys crossed his arms and leaned back against the door, he sighed a loud heavy sigh as if dreading what is to come.
“Connall’s dead,”
Lorcan nodded having already guessed as much.
“He was killed by Maeve, she forced him through the blood oath to stab himself through the heart with a dagger,”
Lorcan stilled, he knew that Connall had been killed badly, but never like this. He knew that the male before him was not finished with the horrors that he planned to tell so he waited, keeping a carefully blank expression across his face.
“It was a little over one month after they took Aelin, everyday had been the same for her, even when she was asleep and healing from her last injury. But that day, they took her outside for the first time. They needed five males. Five, Lorcan, to hold her down. Five males and a hostage. Cairn threatened to slit my throat if she made a move to run. She didn’t, they had put a bag over her head so that she couldn’t see where we were going. It would’ve been pointless of course but the temptation. Gods Lorcan, the temptation wouldn’t been terrible, I don’t think that even I could’ve resisted it. They brought her to the dais, the one where Maeve likes to hold court outside, made her kneel in glass forged by the dragons of the south and placed the crown of Mab atop her head. It was all to mock her, but she didn’t so much as wince. After. After, that was where he died, atop the dais. But before he did, he said things, terrible things to me, to her. And after, he fell, his blood pooled in an endless current around him. So, that’s how it happened.”
The male stared at Lorcan straight in the eye, there were no tears in his eyes.
“Why are you telling me this?” he kept his face blank, even though there was an ocean of emotions beneath the mask. This was how he survived so long, by showing no emotions. Others might think that he had no emotions, but he did like everyone else, he was just better at hiding it than most.
The other male chuckled, a dead and hollow one. “Aelin thought that I should talk to you about what happened.”
Lorcan was shocked, out of everyone he expected the young queen to suggest it would not have been him.
Fenrys having read or guessed--more likely the latter--the thoughts in his head said the next part more quietly.
“She offered of course, but she already has enough things on her plate and I just didn’t want to talk about this with her,” the young wolf looked outside the window at the sky. There was a full moon in the night and said the next part more quietly. Had Lorcan not seen Fenry’s mouth moving, he would’ve thought that he imagined it. “She said that you wouldn’t judge, that you wouldn’t pity me for what happened, that even if there was a torrent of emotions beneath your mask, you wouldn’t show them. She said that you’d listen, that you’d listen and not talk, that you wouldn’t try and console me with useless little comments. So, I guess here I am, talking to my commander about my dead twin brother,” he said the last part more bitterly than he meant to.
Lorcan was shocked, but he didn’t let it show on his face, because everything that the queen had told the wolf was true. He knew there was more that Fenrys wasn’t telling him but the fact that he was willing to tell him this much already, touched him more than he was willing to admit. He didn’t know what to say next, so he said nothing. Fenrys looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for a reaction, when he got none, he said softly,
“I never got to say the things I wanted to before it was too late, I was in my wolf form when Connall died and I pushed Gavriel away after what happened. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again, but I’m also not willing to forgive you just yet for what happened.”
Lorcan nodded, expecting as much.
“Can we start slow? I know we were never friends before, and we were only brothers because we were forced to, but I--I want us to become brothers, and if that doesn’t work out, I want us to become friends. We’re both sworn to the same queen again, from now until death and beyond. I know emotions aren't really your thing, but can we try?”
Fenrys sounded so, so hopeful. Lorcan realized then that he has never seen Fenrys show any signs of weakness. But he found that he respected the male more for showing parts of himself and with that thought in mind, he met his brother-in-arms eyes and nodded. Maybe showing emotions wasn't so much a weakness as it was a strength.
Fenrys smiled, a slow hopeful smile. “Well, are you going to come join us for dinner?” he smirked, back to his usual self.
“You go ahead, I just need a moment,” Fenrys nodded and left, closing the door quietly behind him as he went.
Lorcan walked towards the window and looked outside to the plains of kingsflame in the night shining like little beacons of hope. He sighed, a long heavy sigh. He was a male over five centuries old, and yet for the life of him, he did not know what to do about Fenrys--or Aelin for that matter.
The queen was wrong, he owed her so, so much. Her and Fenrys and the rest of her--his--damn court.