Chapter Text
Kid and Law's post-sex routine goes like this: Law finishes bleeding Kid's cock dry for the xxth time, Kid feels happy and sated, and then Law opens his mouth to say something that Kid already knows he's going to roll his eyes at.
Today, it's smug. "Remember your theory that the Supernovae's bounties should be based on our, I quote, "fucking prowess"? Looks like I'm more expensive than you."
Kid swats him on the thigh but he doesn't protest, not when Law is stretching his long body around his own, as he does when he's getting ready to sleep. Tonight he settles in the crook of Kid's shoulder, far enough up Kid's one arm that he can manhandle it back around his own shoulders.
"I'm not opposed to the idea, mind," Law yawns.
"Hmm, it's not like they can send someone to fuck all 11 of us to judge. Hah, I'd volunteer for that. I'm well underway too."
"I'm sure I have a head-start."
"Trafalgar, you do not."
Law raises his head from Kid's shoulder and un-frowns his brow a little, which on him is the equivalent of an eyebrow raise. He's so beautiful without that hat covering half his face. "Let's hear it, then. How many?"
"F-", Kid starts to preen, and stops. "Uh. Fi- actually -"
"So, five but you're embarrassed about one of them," Law smirks.
Kid sometimes wonders if that devil fruit of his allows him to see the thoughts inside his mind as well, but he does want to win this so he admits to the higher number. "Yeah, five," he mutters.
"Let's see - me, Killer-ya, Bonney-ya... Hawkins.... And... Ha, Apoo is the one you're embarrassed about? I would be too."
"How the fuck--"
"And I'm afraid I do have a headstart."
Kid refuses to believe this. "No you don't! How many?"
"Hmm, six."
"What - you're such a fucking liar! I can't believe the government does business with liars like you, who lie, do they know you're such a fucking liar?"
Law seems uninterested in defending himself, though, judging from the way he just closes his eyes and tucks his head inside Kid's shoulder to sleep, so Kid lowers his protesting to a mumble. After a bit of that Law opens his eyes again to glare at him so Kid has to cut that out entirely and continues ranting in his head until he falls asleep as well.
Except the next day he's still thinking about it. He wakes up with half of his muscles hurting from being slept on but no Trafalgar in his arms, which is typical, and his mind still stuck on that conversation.
It's not really an ego thing. It's just that Kid has a reputation, one that he's constantly leaning into, and it's really embarrassing to think that all this time every single person he's ever bragged to about his high-profile conquests might have known that his pirate rival-slash-boyfriend apparently gets around more than he does. Ok maybe it's a bit of an ego thing.
Law reappears some time around lunch — who the fuck even knows where he goes when he's hiding away on Kid's ship — so Kid hands him a couple of onigiri he'd brought from the kitchen and starts the questioning.
"So I'm not saying I believe you fuck more than me, but hypothetically — right, so. Hawkins is surprisingly easy so probably him, yeah?"
Law is extremely amused, making even more of a mess of eating his onigiri when he's smiling around it, but at least it's cute. He tilts his head as if to say "go on."
Kid continues, "Yeah no, I'm all out of guesses after that. I refuse to think about you playing sugar baby to one of the older guys, Drake guards his ass like a virgin temple, Ap-"
Law outright bursts out laughing at that. "Wait, wait, wait. Sugar baby? Drake?"
Kid is a mix of doubtful and apprehensive. "I mean, you didn't, right? Urouge is... Really big, I mean the logistics of that..."
"I'm not answering that, but say that again about Drake being a virgin temple?"
Which means that Kid is back to frowning. "So now I gotta believe you're a pirate playboy stealing the virtues of the maidens of the four seas? Like, you know that's my thing right?"
"He didn't seem that opposed to having his cock sucked. Your problem, Eustass-ya, is that you flirt all dominant-like and anyone who doesn't want a cock up his ass is understandably scared by that."
"I'm a switch!" Kid yells.
"Then act like it," Law shrugs, which is the end of that.
"Fine, ok, anyone else you snatched from the fucking cradle? You're going to tell me you seduced Strawhat as well while you were with them? Is that even legal? Should they add that to your bounty? Maybe you fucked his first mate while you were at it too?"
Law looks at his nails. "Well, you're right to remember that the Supernova list does indeed include a couple first mates, because I did fuck one..."
Kid stops short. Law stares back at him.
"What. Are you implying," Kid enunciates very slowly.
"I don't know, what do you think I'm implying Eustass-ya?"
Kid's already out the door yelling Killer's name before he finishes that sentence.
Killer is of course in the weights room, doing reps with Heat, but everyone on this ship is used to chaos anyway so Kid grabs Killer by his sweaty shirt and immediately starts yelling in his face. "Did you fuck Law without telling me you asshole!!"
Killer's mask stares at him long-sufferingly. He wrestles Kid's hand off his shirt with a sigh and starts mopping himself up with the towel around his neck. "Right. One thing at a time. First, no I did not, but I see you don't look inclined to believe me right now. Second, why does it matter?"
"Fuck you mean, why does it matter!" Kid continues yelling.
"Do you, uh... Consider us to be together? Because..."
"What! No, I'm together with Law, I think?"
The deadpan energy emitting from Killer's mask at that makes Kid a bit uncomfortable. Kid sees Heat giving him an encouraging thumbs up from the corner of his eye.
"Then it's him you need to take this up with, yeah? Not that I got the impression you guys were exclusive, but-"
"Nonono, Law can do what he wants, but you.... Argh," Kid knows he's being unreasonable with this but he can't help it. "Look man, you're my mate - first? best? Anyway, we're supposed to tell each other when we wanna try each other's things, if only so we can tag-team them--"
At which point he feels Killer going very, very still.
That ends the way this entire thing was always going to end in retrospect: the two of them back in Kid's room, Killer still in his sweaty gym clothes but mask off, Law completely naked on his back on Kid's bed, and Killer's cock deep inside him.
Law's enjoying this... A lot, judging by the show he's putting on. He's moaning like he's never been fucked in his life, his ankles crossed around Killer's lower back urging him on with every thrust, his spine arched, grabbing Killer's head down to kiss him messily every chance he gets. It's so fucking hot.
Killer quickly gets tired of kissing in favour of planting his hands around Law's skinny hips and watching his cock go in and out of Law's hole, which, yeah, it does look a bit cock-obsessed from this angle, maybe Kid needs to stop doing that too. Law turns his head in Kid's direction in that moment, reaching for him, and Kid whines at the pure lust written on his face. His pupils are blown so wide - it's pretty obvious at this point to Kid that Law's the kind of guy they make this weirdly specific "My Wife Is Having Sex With My Best Friend Who Is Staying At My House" porn for.
He squeezes Law's reaching hand and moves closer to feed Law his cock with his other hand. Law swallows it greedily, not even making any kind of proper movement, just trying to swallow it as far down as it can go. Kid helps him by fucking his mouth as soon as he feels Law's mouth go slack enough. And then he grabs Killer by the neck and slows him down enough for some tongue action - because fuck, Kid likes kissing too.
Killer comes first, deep inside Law's ass, at which point Kid feels like he's allowed to pull away from Law's throat and finish on Law's face. And then Law is left to take care of himself with cum both on his face and leaking from his ass, which also looks like a turn-on for him, because after a few pumps from his own hand he finally convulses as hard as Kid's ever seen.
Killer looks like his mind has been blown, which sounds about right. While he gathers his breathing, still staring at Law's tattoo-and-cum-covered body, Kid goes to find a washcloth to clean Law up.
Once he's done and Law's all clean, Law turns his head towards him. He looks happily wrecked, but also the most smug he's ever been. "So. That's 7 now," he says breathily, and Kid fucking throws the cloth at the wall this time.
Killer doesn't stay to cuddle with them, because he's stingy, and possibly also still wary of leading Kid on, but Law is especially soft at the moment so Kid doesn't mind. He's all limp as he sits cross-legged rolling a cigarette on his thigh, leaning towards Kid, and his head keeps lolling on Kid's shoulder without realizing it.
Never one to pass up on an opening, Kid puts his head in Law's lap and steals the cigarette on the way down. He attracts his metal lighter to his hand without thinking, lights it and takes the first drag. The smoke fills his lungs - he exhales it up in Law's face.
"Yeah, I give up. Give me the full list," he says, trying to remember the full count. "Me, Hawkins, Drake, presumably Roronoa... Killer..."
"Hmmm... Bonney-ya..." Law smirks around the cigarette he's stolen back and Kid's brain finally, finally short-circuits.
It feels like it takes ten good minutes for his neurons to kick-start again and rearrange themselves around this new information.
"Yeah, clearly you still had some misconceptions about me," Law's voice is so so amused, "This is the funniest possible way for you to find out by the way."
Kid groans and turns to hug Law's stomach, burying his head in it.
"... And you were right, Strawhat-ya did ask me to take his virginity," Law finishes, still smoking. Kid simply gives up and groans harder.
"Fine. I wanna be you when I grow up," Kid whines and Law can't stop laughing.