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She didn’t have time to cry. How could she, there were exams to study for, essays to write, underclassmen to teach, her siblings to take care of. She had so much to do, and so little time to do it, and all she could feel was guilt. She was doing the exact same thing that Daishou was doing when she broke up with him, maybe even worse.
School had been terrible. Teachers had been endlessly hounding them with work, and all Mika wanted to do when she got home was sleep, preferably with Daishou next to her. But, she knew she couldn’t. She had no time to sleep, and she had only spoken to Daishou again last week, and she wasn’t even sure they were back together. It hurt her heart to think about, and she wanted nothing more to run up to him at school as she had done before, but she didn’t know if she could now, if he would even want her to.
Maybe that was when she started crying, when she was thinking about Daishou. Or maybe it was when she got out her planner and saw three pieces of work that she needed to do for Biology for Friday, and it was Wednesday, and that was only one subject. Or maybe she had been crying since she got home and she didn’t notice because she didn’t have time to notice.
Or maybe it didn’t matter when she started crying. It just mattered that she was, and she sat with her head in her hands, wasting precious time thinking about things that didn’t matter. She was so focused on her thoughts (wasting time, not doing anything) that she didn’t hear the knock at her door.
“Hey, Mika–oh, Mika, what`s wrong princess?”
Mika startled as Daishou moved from the door to her seat at the desk. She tried to wipe away her tears, tried to hide the stress and pain, but she knew he had already seen it. “I–Daishou-”, she choked on the words, and they came out as a whisper. Daishou moved to kneel in front of her, having pulled the chair back and round to face her bed and took her hands so they were held in her lap.
“Hey, hey, it`s okay, don`t worry. Just try and tell me what`s wrong. Or I can call one of your friends?”
He looked worried, concerned about Mika, like she was the only thing that mattered. And she couldn’t understand why. She knew he would have other things to think about, but he was here, in Mika`s room. She didn't deserve him. She wanted to, she wanted more than anything to be good enough for him. But he could choose anyone. So many girls in school, both in their year and in the two years younger, wanted to date Daishou, and out of everyone, it didn’t make sense that he would choose her.
“Mika?” Oh, she had got distracted again. “Mika-chan, what do you need me to do?”
“I-”, she coughed, trying to get the words out, “why are you here?”
“Hmm? I came to see if you wanted to study together like we did with Kazuma. I bought Pretz and some other snacks…hey princess, tell me what`s wrong so I can help.”
“I don`t……I don’t deserve this why are you doing this? I was so mean, and I haven’t done anything to make it better, and I know you have so many other things to do and I-”
“Mika-chan, I have two things to do and those are studying and spend time with you. We lost, remember? Seguro is the captain now, and none of the third years have to go to practice. So I thought, why not study and spend time with my Mika-chan at the same time? And I don’t know where you`ve got the idea from that you don’t deserve things. You deserve the world, and I know I haven’t been the best at giving it to you, but I have a second chance, right? Because I will do anything, anything Mika, to prove that to you.”
She stared at him, shocked at the words that came so easily out of his mouth. It sounded so much like a confession, and maybe it was, it didn’t matter. It was so hard to believe him, but she wanted to. And that was enough. She threw her arms around Daishou`s neck, falling into his lap. His arms wrapped around her, and it felt like coming home. Mika had missed being Daishou`s arms, feeling the warmth of his body pressed next to hers. She missed it more than she thought was possible.
“I love you Suguru”, she whispered from where her face pressed into his shoulder. She could feel him smile and pull her closer, and her legs fell either side of his.
“I love you too Princess…now, I have a feeling some of your stress was because of some biology work Hiroo was talking about, why don’t we get up and get some of it done?”
She nodded into Daishou`s neck, and then let herself be pulled upwards. She didn’t expect it when he didn’t set her on her feet, instead making her wrap her legs around his waist, before moving towards her bed. She giggled as he dropped her carefully on her back on the bed, and she gazed up at him from where he leaned over her. He moved his face to her neck, mumbling I love you`s between kisses down her neck.
She smiled as she pulled his face up to hers, their lips meeting in a kiss. It had been so long since she had been able to kiss him, and once they started, she never wanted to stop. She probably wouldn’t have if Daishou hadn’t pulled away and murmured “we should probably study” with a sigh.
She hummed in agreement, and he pulled away, though she could tell it was hesitant. She moved to sit further on the bed and pulled Daishou`s bag towards her from where he had dropped it onto the bed earlier, knowing she would find the snacks in there. After getting the books from her desk, Daishou settled next to, and after one final kiss, they finally got to work.
Mika knew it wouldn’t always be easy, and there would be more times that she doubted herself and Daishou`s feelings towards her. But, deep down, she also knew that if they loved each other, and they did, everything would work out fine.