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love to hate you

Summary:

Normally you would sit silently and thrive as he bombed, but today you were feeling some sort of way, and it definitely wasn’t because of the way his hair was sticking in every direction, just a jumbled up mess to go along with his frustrated expression.

And it definitely had nothing to do with the burning desire to have his eyes glare into yours with heated intensity and the something he always seemed to have behind those golden orbs. No, no.

“From you?” His baritone voice didn’t hold hostility, rather he sounded surprised and a little, dare you say, happy to receive help.

You shrugged, “do you want to pass or would you rather get detention and supplement lessons?”

“I’d rather not have the parchment explode in my face.”

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The first time you realized you had some sort of infatuation for Bokuto Koutaro was in your fifth year. It wasn’t some grand revelation and fireworks didn’t go off in your heart, neither did your breath shortened.

It was the realization that Bokuto, despite his never-ending talent to piss you and your housemates off by being better at everything, was also kind of cute. You had no shame to admit that to yourself, though, you would promptly deny it if someone else asked you.

You were sitting in charms class, staring off into the void of seemingly bottomless boredom and quietness when he shifted next to you, making your attention transfer from the board to his face. He had arrived late in class and since no Gryffindor or Slytherin wanted to sit near you, either because they had already found sitting accommodations or because they hated your guts, the seat next to you was the only one free for him to sit.

It was whatever, just another day sitting next to someone you wanted to throw down the stairs for the tenth time that month.

Despite the fact that he was more than probably under extreme pressure at the moment, he also emitted a calming aura, even though his foot was rocking the desk from the constant fidgeting. Watching Bokuto Koutaro studying was like watching a train wreck, doomed to crash and burn from the beginning. You smirked as he licked his lips for what seemed the hundredth time in ten minutes. 

“Do you need help?”

Normally you would sit silently and thrive as he bombed, but today you were feeling some sort of way, and it definitely wasn’t because of the way his hair was sticking in every direction, just a jumbled up mess to go along with his frustrated expression.

And it definitely had nothing to do with the burning desire to have his eyes glare into yours with heated intensity and the something he always seemed to have behind those golden orbs. No, no.

“From you?” His baritone voice didn’t hold hostility, rather he sounded surprised and a little, dare you say, happy to receive help.

You shrugged, “do you want to pass or would you rather get detention and supplement lessons?”

“I’d rather not have the parchment explode in my face.”

“That would be in poor taste, it’s poison you have to worry about. The least we want is for that beautiful face of yours to get ruined, imagine the horror on your fan girls’ faces.”

The bouncing of his leg stopped and gold, wide eyes bored into yours. Bokuto smirked, “thanks.”

You blinked, “what?”

“You think I’m beautiful.”

Every time you would talk with Bokuto Koutaro, he would always find a way to twist your insults to compliments or kindness, a talent which pissed you off immensely at the beginning of your ‘game’, but something you came to expect and accept. That didn’t mean, however, that you felt at peace with it.

You crossed your arms. “I take back my offer of help, you can suffer.”

“Oh, come one Y/N!” How dare he use your name with such ease. “We both know you’re going to throw me off the top of the stairs and all the way down later, the least you could do is make my pain more bearable and help me.”

He slid his parchment paper in front of you, but you turned your body away and pretended you were checking out your nails. Not only because you wanted to be apathetic towards his pleading, but also because a smile was slowly breaking on your face, something which you internally cursed yourself for. 

Trying to stay apathetic around Bokuto was something you were starting to fail these past few months, either by exploding in anger or in wide, unexplained smiles at his behavior. He was friendly and always knew how to cheer people up, though you didn’t know why you even bothered noticing those traits of his.

It wasn’t fair, he looked so cute with that loop side smile and his messy two-tone hair, a welcoming change from his usual hairstyle which resembled a horned owl, and the intensity behind his eyes were making your spirits and determination waver.

“I was thinking about giving you a bowl cut this time, though.”

“Don’t joke about that!” Bokuto whined and spoke as if the two of you were actual friends. “I still have the scar on my head from the second year where you cut me.”

“Good.”

As stated before, it wasn’t a great revelation, nor fireworks in the sky. It was a slow process in which your thoughts and emotions about the boy next to you got muddled together and left you in a state of unknown.

Your friends, a wise Ravenclaw, and a timid Hufflepuff came to your rescue. And by rescue, you meant the complete opposite.

“I think you should make out with him.”

“Uhm, no. The question was ‘what potion cures all poisons known to the wizardry kind, list the ingredients and the brewing process below’. I’ll give you an F for trying, Marie,” You grinned cheekily and lowered the book back down on the table. You had your W.O.M.B.A.T exams in three months and the Ravenclaw insisted you started from now, so you and your friends decided to study in the comfortable silence of the library, though, you could tell something was bothering Marie from the very start of the study session.

“Next up, Thomas.” You turned to the Hufflepuff to your left and started reading the next question when Marie abruptly leaned over the table and snatched the tome from your hands, slapping it closed and quietly placing it on the wooden and polished surface of the table before sitting back down in her chair and pinning you with a look you knew all too well.

“We need to have this conversation since, like, last year, and it’s time to embrace the truth.”

“Which is?”

Marie glanced at Thomas, signaling him to participate in this wilting conversation. The blonde boy sighed as if he was feeling the emotional turbulence that was about to follow and not wishing to take any part in it. However, he was also whipped for Marie, and in the end, he caved. “That you are inexplicably and undeniably in love with Bokuto Koutaro.” 

Marie nodded and turned to look at you with an overwhelmingly smug smirk on her face as she had just done something jaw-dropping and awe-worthy when really, all she did was make you want to throw yourself off a cliff.

You said nothing, you didn’t even want to think about it, and every little invasive and taunting thought that came into mind about the words that were spoken were quickly snuffed out like a stuttering flame. You grimaced as if Marie had given you a rotting and shaggy plum and forced you to eat it. You hated plums, and you hated where this conversation was headed even more.

“Deny it, and I kill you.”

“Sunflowers for my tomb, thank you.”

The Ravenclaw gripped her black braid tightly, resisting the urge to backhand that arrogant and dry smirk from your lips. “Stop doing that!”

“Doing what?”

“Using sarcasm as an escape,” the black-haired beauty whispered harshly as to not receive nasty looks from the students around her. “I saw you two at charm class today, the hidden emotions behind each action and words were almost plausible, not to mention I also witnessed you smiling like a love-struck fool.”

“To be fair,” Thomas jumped in, “y/n probably mistakes dislike with affection, so it’s not too crazy to believe she hasn’t noticed.”

“Ok,” you interrupted your friends, mainly because you wanted to make heads and tails of the situation, but also because their words were starting to make some sense. “What exactly haven’t I noticed that is so obvious to you and so telling of my emotions towards that stupid owl himbo?”

“I-is that another muggle slang? I swear I can’t keep up with you these days.”

Marie waved Thomas off. “First off,” she raised a finger, “we have the secret yet very open smiles, which by the way aren’t I-hate-you smiles, but rather I-want-to-pin-you-to-the-wall smiles.”

“Then,” Thomas picked off, “we have the not so subtle yearning glances when you think the other isn’t looking. The way Bokuto looks at you sometimes makes even cupid’s toes curl from the sheer adoration.”

You laughed at the painted imagery. There was absolutely no way Bokuto was looking at you like that without you noticing at least once. And, there was no way he held any feelings close to adoration itself towards you. You had painted his hair red and put itching powder on his pants on countless occasions for Merlin’s sake. It would be more like a murder intent kind of gaze than anything.

You hadn’t calmed down from your breathless laughter when Marie spoke again, “and please, let us not forget your open ogling. At first, I truly and genuinely thought you wanted to go to Quidditch practices because you wanted to jinx his broom or something, not drool over his muscles whenever he took his shirt off.”

You raised a defensive finger, “I will admit that he’s somewhat-,”

“Somewhat, she says.”

“-hot, but that doesn’t mean I like him, or that I’m in love with him.”

“No, but the way your jealousy flares up whenever Madison Roost is around him is certainly telling,” Marie huffed and Thomas chuckled. “You always look like you want to cast an unforgivable on her every time she talks.”

“That is only because whenever that pig opens her mouth I lose precious brain cells,” you roll your eyes at the Ravenclaw, but just as she mentioned that girl’s name the grip on your quilt grew tighter, as if on reflex, though you didn’t notice.

Your mind went back to all the times where Madison, a fellow Slytherin, had come in the common room and started boosting to the other girls about hanging around Bokuto and his friends. 

The Slytherins hated the Gryffindors and the close circle of friends that they had formed from different houses, but to outright say there wasn’t any attraction would be a lie. Even Kuroo Tetsuro, a competitive and seemingly harmless Slytherin had managed to slither in that circle, and all the other boys resented him for it.

Because, how dare a Slytherin to befriend anyone outside of the house. The same could be said about you too though.

“Oh please, the green little monster practically lives in you, and…,” Marie trailed off, bright blue eyes gazing behind you at something seemingly more interested. You turned towards what your friend was looking at.

Akaashi Keiji, Kuroo Tetsuro, and a couple of other students were making their way towards a vast library desk which, presumably, they would all fit.

You turned back around to see Marie studying you with a scheming glint behind her eyes and you were suddenly very afraid of what could transpire next because as much as you loved the black-haired girl, you were also very afraid of how her mind worked sometimes.

Marie took her long, thin, lavender wand out of her pocket and glanced at Thomas, signaling him to move the side before pointing the end of the wand at you, “if you won’t listen, we’ll show you.”

For a second, blue eyes held yours intently, and you didn’t even realize she had done something until she pocketed her wand again and stood up. She smiled at you, and it was a smile overflowing and spilling with fake innocence and promises of pain and utter humiliation before she started walking towards the group that had just settled in.

You meant to go after her before she did something that would warrant her to get murdered by your hands. “Marie, I swear to fuck-ah!” You stood and promptly fell on the chair again. Realizing what had happened Thomas burst out in silent laughter, which he smothered with his hands as his brown eyes followed the Ravenclaw.

She casted a sticking charm on your fucking legs, and silently so. 

You cursed the professor forever teaching her to cast spells without speaking, and also every deity you knew for having her as a friend. “Thomas, stop laughing! I-oh my Merlin, what the fuck is she doing!?”

Not only was Marie pointing at you, but Kuroo also had a shit-eating grin on his face, followed closely by the wiggle of his eyebrows at your direction, in which case you knew Marie had told them some of her very untrue and totally unbiased suspicions of your feelings towards their horned owl looking friend.

She spoke with Akaashi for a few more minutes before making her way back to the table, the triumph smile on her face hard to miss. Kuroo gave you thumbs up and Akaashi smiled at you. An actual smile. Oh, you were fucked.

“You’re fucked,” Thomas wheezed out, tears in his eyes.

“Where’s your Charm essay?” Marie stood before you, hands on her hips and looking viciously determined. 

“What? No, I’m not giving you anything-hey!” You tried, once again, to move and stop Marie from snatching your back and rummaging through it. Thomas was still losing his mind next to you.

The Ravenclaw fished a stack of papers out of your back, your nearly completed essay about the knockback and reduction size charms that was due on Monday, and the one you absolutely had to turn in. You had missed the due date twice in row and as well as you did in that class the professor made his position quite clear that if you didn’t hand it in on Monday you would have two days worth of detention and, in case you got a failing grade, supplement lessons.

She grabbed the papers in her hands delicately, eyes scanning through words and lines. “This is surprisingly sophesticatedly well written,” Marie hummed, “though the theory is a little bit off. Oh well.” And in one swift movement, she tore the parchments in half, the sound of paper tearing resembling your heart breaking in two, as well as the sound you let escape your mouth.

“Looks like you’re having detention with Bokuto after all.”

Monday came sooner than you preferred and you had to turn up in Charm class without your essay, and really, what were you supposed to say? That your best friend tore your paper in half in order for you to get detention with an insufferable Gryffindor? That was an entirely believable excuse, for sure.

So, you had to suffer the disapproving eyes of the professor as she assigned you detention for not turning in the paper for the third time that month. Marie, who was sitting at the opposite end of the classroom was positively beaming for the success of her plan as you got a verbal beat down, and you had to resist trying to attempt the knockback jinx on her.

And just like that the day was pretty much over, classes flew past and torturous as you tried avoiding your friends and preparing yourself for the detention. You could only hope that Bokuto’s friends didn’t share the downright embarrassing experience you had in the library. Merlin knows what they must think, or what Marie told them, and you hadn’t asked what she had said in fear of actually murdering the girl.

The classroom was empty save for the professor, who was quietly grading papers on her desk, and you and Bokuto. You both had your heads low, attempting to try and finish the essay you hadn’t turned in. However, not even halfway through the detention and you could already feel a pair of eyes burning a heated hole in the back of your head, and as much as you tried to ignore it at first, you failed, miserably and unconditionally.

You twisted your neck to the left, eyes gazing two rows back where the horned owl bastard was sitting, completely apathetic to the fact that you’ve caught him staring at, what exactly? You?

You raised an eyebrow, looking at him with a silent challenge to continue fucking staring at you. It became quite clear, after a while, that he wasn’t going to look away. You gave him the middle finger and a wicked smirk, careful to block your hand from the professor’s line of vision in case she looked up.

Bokuto’s hair was falling down and sticking everywhere, left and right, up and down. After a whole day of running his hands through them and going to Quidditch practice the effect of the gel he had put on that morning had already faded.

 He had his head propped up on his hands and the trademark smile of his was present on his face, as always. Goofy, and big, and bright as ever.

The look in his golden eyes resembled something akin to affection, or was it mischief? Well, whatever it was, you didn’t like it, nor the way it lit your skin up on fire and had your heart thumping with excitement when there was literally nothing to be thrilled for.

Maybe Marie was right, maybe you did like Bokuto, not to torture and prank, but in an I’d-like-to-kiss-you sort of way. 

You shook your head and tried to empty your head of those thoughts for now. You had to concentrate on the paper at hand or else it was another detention in your pocket. Your hand gripped the quill and you dipped the end into the black ink, and as soon as you were about to start writing a paper landed on your parchment. 

Once again, you whirled your head to look at the offender and he had the nerve to wiggle his eyebrows at you and look pointedly at the paper.

You considered burning it, but that would cause a scene, and even if you tore it in half he could just send another one your way again. So, you did the next best thing which you knew for sure would tantalize him.

You unfolded the paper slowly, taking your sweet, sweet time and smiling when you heard the boy groan lowly and miserably into his hands

‘Meet me in the abandoned bathroom.’

It took you quite a long time to comprehend and process those words through your brain, your fist closing around the paper like a reflex. Now, you really were wondering whether his friends did or didn’t tell him about the library incident.

 Surely, they had, why else would Bokuto Koutaro send you this.

You glanced at him once again from the corner of your eye, but this time he wasn’t looking at you, instead, he had his attention back on his homework.

You did what most people would do in that situation and completely ignored the letter, moving on writing your essay, except your breath seemed shorter, and your hand trembled a little, and if your heart fluttered and skipped a beat you pretended it was from anger and not from the low burning sensation that reigned in your chest and face

The detention went on for another hour and a half and by the end of it your hand felt like jelly. You turned the paper in and turned around to leave the class, noticing that Bokuto had already left even though you hadn’t even noticed. Whatever, though, it’s not like you cared about what he meant by that letter, or why he wanted you to meet. You were completely unbothered, unfazed.

You exited the classroom and started walking back to your room. It was close to seven in the afternoon and the only people that were walking down the spacious and grand hallway were either the castle ghosts, professor, or prefects doing their daily rounds.

An owl would fly here and there with letters attached to its legs or back.

You paid mind to nothing and no one, occasionally stopping to flex and twist your hand in order to rid the soreness from the fast and tiring speed at which you had written the essay. The only thing on your mind right now was going back to the dorms and taking a nice, hot, long bath before falling dead on your bed and-, “whoa!”

And just like that, you suddenly found yourself tagged to the side, a big and warm hand squeezing your bicep and your back pinned against the cold surface of the bathroom wall. You didn’t even realize you had taken the longer route back to the dorms, the one that you had to pass through the infamous abandoned bathrooms that Bokuto asked you to meet him in.

Bokuto Koutaro was standing in front of you, a full head taller than you, hands on either side of your body and a knee in the middle of your legs to ensure you wouldn’t escape the ‘cage’ he had trapped you in, his hot breath tickling your lips and golden eyes practically devouring yours.

You weren’t stupid, you could recognize the look in Bokuto’s eyes or the burning feeling in your heart, but you sure as hell hoped you wouldn't have to confront it.

Neither of you spoke, just drank each other up, little by little, piece by piece, and hungrily.

You saw round, pretty, golden eyes shifting through your face. You inspected the way his eyebrows furrowed, the way his long lashes fluttered as he blinked, and the way the corner of his mouth turned up into a tiny smirk. You took everything in. The color of his skin and the clashing red in his cheeks, his two-tone hair falling down the nape of his neck and in front of his eyes.

Against your better judgment and despite your worthless pride you slowly trailed your hands up to touch his face, hesitantly and as tenderly as you could. Your fingertips grazed against his cheeks. You felt a tickle go through your hand and down your hand, the sensation slowly spreading all over your body like a cool and calming wave.

“Are you going to kiss me or should I throw you down the stairs again?”

“Definitely kiss you.”

That’s how you found yourself making out with Bokuto Koutaro in a partially destroyed and flooded bathroom in the middle of the afternoon, your hands settling on his neck and hair on the back of his head and pulling him deeper into the kiss, while he rested the palms of his hands on your hips, long fingers slipping inside your white dress shirt and drawing small circles on your smooth skin.

The kiss started out as something slow and delicate, both of you afraid to dive in completely and give in to undeniable desire. His lips were soft against your slightly chapped ones and he didn’t hesitate to drag his tongue across your bottom lip, silently asking for entrance to your mouth.

You held out, denying him and smirking when you felt a hand sliding down to your thigh and squeezing, his kiss a bit rougher and his body pressing up against you even more. Bokuto brought a hand from your waist up your back where your hair ended, grabbing a strand with his fingers and pulling down once suddenly and a tad harshly, just enough to make your mouth open a little so that he could slip his tongue in.

You were now fully pressed against the wall, his body melting into yours wantonly. 

When you two finally broke apart for air, a whole ten minutes later, you felt your head swimming, your thoughts and emotions mixed together like a hairball, and your lips red and raw, like you had scrubbed them with honey and sugar. Bokuto was the same, and one thing was as clear as the stars that twinkled in the night sky.

You had definitely been yearning for Bokuto Koutaro, and maybe he had been doing the same for you.

You could feel his chest rise and fall with each deep breath he took and you were aware he could probably feel your chest pushed up against his with excruciating detail by the way his eyes flicked down for a second before settling to your eyes again. “Did Marie really destroy your paper? ‘Cause if so, I have to thank her next time I see her.”

“She’ll be quite dead,” you stated, “Kuroo squealed, didn’t he.”

“Akaashi as well.”

You rolled your eyes, of course. “I really hope we’re not done here yet,” you batted your eyelashes at Bokuto.

He raised an eyebrow, eyes silently mocking you for wanting more and admitting so easily that you wanted it. You tugged at his hair in retaliation and the way he smiled at you and bared his teeth while glaring at you had your knees weak all over again, Thankfully, he still hasn’t moved his knee from between your legs.

In one swift and powerful notion he raised you up and you took that as an invitation to wrap your legs around him while his hand supported you by your ass.

“Far from it.”

That night you slipped inside your dorms in a daze, like a bee high on nectar, a stupidly large smile on your face and clothes wrinkled here and there, hair flying everywhere and two large hickeys branded on you, one on your neck, just below your ear and the other on the swell of your breasts.

Detention was worth it.

Notes:

bokuto with his hair down supremacy

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