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Dear Draco,
How’s it going? I’m doing well. I have something to confess to you. I’m in love with your father.
Love,
Harry
“That’s not right!” Harry glared at his parchment.
“What’s not right?”
Harry shrieks and turns to look behind him. “Ron! It’s just you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m trying to break up with Draco, but I can’t find the right words to say.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Ron frowned. “Aren’t you guys like madly in love or something?”
“Yeah, but I’m only using him to get to his Dad. He’s so dreamy!” He sighs.
“Harry is there something wrong with your head? You’re talking about Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater who’s life goal is to kill you so his psycho leader can take over the world!”
“I know. Isn’t it great?”
Ron shakes his head. “Anyway the band needs to practice if we want to win the talent show.”
Harry pauses, then as if a light bulb goes off, he cries, “I could write a song and sing it to him!”
Ron looks on in horror. “Harry?”
“What Ron?
“Never mind, let’s just go.”
~Meanwhile in Draco’s room~
*To the tune of the Meow Mix Jingle*
“I love Harry. I love Harry. I love Harry. I love Harry. I love Harry!” *ping* *silence* “Where did the ping come from? Oh well. I love Harry…”
~Gryffindor Common Room after band practice~
“Yes! It’s finished!”
“What’s finished Harry? You’re homework?”
Harry shrieks. “Geez, Hermione! You scared me, and no, I didn’t finish my homework.” Hermione frowns, “But I did finish my new song for the band to play at the talent show!”
She frowns, “But I thought we were playing Maroon 5’s ‘Sunday Morning’!”
“I know, but this one’s original!”
“Really? Let me see.” As she reads the lyrics, her face grows more horrified with each new line.
“Sunday Morning is way better.”
“You haven’t even head it yet!” He glares snatching the parchment back from her.
“So, I know the rest of the band won’t go for it, nor will our manager.” Hermione crosses her arms across her chest.
“Well I’ll call an emergency meeting of the band so we can see which one they like better.”
~At the emergency meeting~
“I have called this emergency meeting because I just wrote a song that we could play for the talent show, and I wanted you guys to hear it.” Harry picks up his guitar and sings the song. His band mates look on in horror. Hermione questions his sanity.
“I love it!” Ginny cries. “It’s strange, but catchy.”
“Ginny it’s stupid!” Ron glares at her outraged.
“Ron, she is the manager,” Neville states, “Her opinion is like twice as important as yours. Besides, I like it too.”
“Not you too,” Hermione sighs.
“Great! You two are out voted, so we’re doing the song. “Harry beams.”
~3 weeks later~
“Welcome everyone to Hogwarts Idol, our schools first talent show.” Dumbledore pauses as the student body cheers. “I know everyone is excited, so let’s get started. Our first band is Green Eyes White Dragon. Oh wait, I forgot to introduce the judges! There’s me, Professor Dumbledore,” cheers, “Professor Trelawney,” sporadic claps, “and Professor Snape,” all of the students except for the Slytherins boo. “Now let’s get this party started!” Dumbledore walks off stage and moves to the judges seats as Draco and his band take the stage.
“I dedicate this song to my loving boyfriend, Harry Potter. I love you babe!” Draco blows a kiss to Harry, as his band strikes up the music.
You can dress me up in diamonds
You can dress me up in dirt
You can throw me like a line-man
I like it better when it hurts
Oh, I have waited here for you
I have waited
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream
You can meet me on an aero-plane
Or in the back of the bus
You can throw me like a boomerang
I'll come back and beat you up
Oh, I have waited here for you
Dont, keep me waiting
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream
I feel safe with you
I can be myself tonight
It's alright, with you
Cuz you hold, my secrets tight
You do, You do
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
When I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna la la
in the kitchen on the floor
I'll be a french maid
Where I'll meet you at the door
I'm like an alley cat
Drink the milk up, I want more
You make me wanna
You make me wanna scream
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la
You make me wanna la la, la la la la
The students erupt into cheers as Draco finishes, and he takes a bow. “Now let’s see what the judges have to say,” Dumbledore pauses, “Oh right that’s me. I personally loved it and would appreciate it if you could sing it again. Professor Trelawney?”
“I have visions of people chasing after you when you die.”
“ Professor Snape?”
“I award 200 points to Slytherin for your great taste in clothes, music, and band members.” The students boo at the unfair point addition.
“Okie dokey kiddies, the next group is Lovers of Light!” The crowd cheers as Harry and his band take the stage.
“I hope the person I’m singing this too loves it!” The music starts and Harry sings.
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco, can I come over after school? (after school)
We can hang around by the pool (hang by the pool)
Did your dad get back from his business trip? (business trip)
Is he there, or is he trying to give me the slip? (give me the slip)
You know, I'm not the little girl that I used to be
I'm all grown up now, baby can't you see
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
He’s all I want and I need him so bad
Draco, can’t you see you’re just not the boy for me
I know it might be sad but I’m in love with Draco’s dad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
Draco, do you remember when I mowed your lawn? (mowed your lawn)
Your dad came out with just a towel on (towel on)
I could tell he liked me from the way he stared (the way he stared)
And the way he said, "You missed a spot over there" (a spot over there)
And I know that you think it's just a fantasy
But since your mom walked out, your dad could use a girl like me
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
He’s all I want and I need him so bad
Draco, can’t you see you’re just not the boy for me
I know it might be sad but I’m in love with Draco’s dad
Draco’s dad has got me goin’ mad
He’s all I want and I need him so bad,
Draco can't you see your just not the boy for me,
I know it might be sad but oh oh
(I know it might be sad)
I'm in love with (Draco's dad oh oh)
(Dracos dad oh oh)
I'm in love with Draco's dad
The audience is silent for a beat then cheers erupt. Draco in shock passes out.
“Now for the judges. I loved it. I also love Draco’s dad. He’s such a catch. Professor Trelawney?”
“I see a jelly doughnut crushing you.”
“Professor Snape?”
“Detention for trying to steal my man!”
Lucius calls out to Harry, “I love you too! Let’s get married!”
Severus turns to him sharply. “But I thought you loved me!”
“Sorry Sev, I want a younger hotter model.” Sev cries.
“Well let’s see who won since only two acts auditioned. When I call the name of the band cheer for them and my cheer-o-meter will determine what score they get. Now, who liked Green Eyes White Dragon?” He pauses as the crowd cheers. “All right, their score is a 7.5. How about the Lovers of Light?” He pauses again, and this time the cheers are even louder. “Woo! It appears that the Lovers of Light win with the score of 10!” The Great Hall erupts into cheers as Harry takes the stage once again.
“I’d like to thank my fiancé and future step-son for being my inspiration for this song. Without them none of this would have been possible.”
~Epilogue~
Harry and Lucius ran away and got married and lived happily ever after. Draco is still in counseling.
“He just ran away with my Dad, and now he’s my Dad too?”
“And how does this make you feel?”
The End