Work Text:
‘And I know that I broke all your rules
Oh, now you're looking at me, and I'm looking at you like a fool’
‘I can’t stay tonight’
‘Mmm...’
‘I can’t stay any more nights’, the spy stated, not looking at him, tapping her finger on his naked chest where she was laying.
‘Why is that?’ the agent got tense up, uneasy, Ada could sense him beneath her. And she wasn't looking at him, so, alarmed, he picked up her chin to watch her expression under the nightstand lamp light.
‘You know why, Leon’, she replied, weary.
‘No. No, please, tell me’. He really thought the worst. Maybe she had started to work for someone much dangerous (not that she didn't do that already) or worse, she was going to get married. No rings in sight, luckily.
‘Do you know what I do when I leave this place?’, Ada asked him, unraveling herself from his arms, and slowly sitting on the edge of the bed. The cold air in contact with her wet skin gave her chills.
‘Forget about me?’
‘Wrong. I wish, Leon. I wish I didn't even think about...this.’ She placed the tip of her fingers on her forehead, rubbing circles, and continued, with her eyes closed, ‘Here's how it goes: I go out and I'm thinking if you are going to hate me for leaving. I get into a plane, wondering if you are having breakfast or an existential crisis. I have at least two hours in there and the only thing inside my head is you, and the fact that I would love being here instead. Three hours go by, and I’m resisting the urge to call you and ask you if you regret this and thank heavens I don't know your number because I know I would.
Two more days down the week and I'm thinking if you already forgot about this night. And god forbid its a weekend because I’m going insane by the thought of you with someone else. I hate Friday nights, I’m terrified of you flirting at a bar even though I shouldn’t be because it's not my right’
The words spilled from her mouth and she blamed the adrenaline of the moment, blamed herself for keeping it all piled up in her chest for so long, for pretending to feel nothing. She also blamed the only damn glass of wine she had before.
Ada knew perfectly well that she couldn't talk about feelings just like that, that these things created consequences that she couldn't handle in the future, but here she was, with her heart on her sleeve, like she never done before. Because she knew he would understand her. Or at least, she expected so.
‘Alright but-’
‘I’m not done. This never stops, rookie. I’m in the front lines of an assignment and the first thing that comes to my mind is if you are there too. And then I have to look it up, I have to see where are you because if you are there then I got to help, somehow, even though I probably need help too.
And then if you aren't physically there, you are still there. I’m looking at blonde...’, she sighed, words getting stuck on her throat, ’...soldiers or cops and it's you. And I got to lend them a hand because it’s you. They remind me of you. Some of them are young, some of them are scared and I have to, because i feel obliged to help them’
There were tones of disgust and anger in her voice as she stared at the wall, trying to find a reason why a highly trained spy would help people when that was not her job. They aren't paying me for that, hell.
‘Isn't that something goo-’
‘Listen to me, I go out of my plans to help people that I don't know. I put myself in danger because you are in my head all the time.’ Ada, irritated, turned around to look at him.
‘Sorry?’ the corners of his mouth were slowly rising, he didn’t feel sorry at all. Was he worried about Ada’s work? Absolutely, there were a lot of risks. But he also was delighted to know that it bothered her too, to not have him close. He thought he was the only one that felt like that. The only one that care.
She was...something, huh? Leon wanted to hug her and tell that empathy was fine, that it was normal to want to help others, that he was proud of the enormous path she had traveled, from looking only at herself to looking at her neighbor, that caring about some people was a risk worth taking. That he was proud to be one of the elements that helped her see that.
Because Leon had changed her, he was sure, but she had changed him too, and he was forever grateful for that.
‘You think this is funny’ Ada crawled back on the bed, and straddled him; with care she placed both her hands on his cheeks to stop him laughing at her, which obviously made Leon smile bigger. ’Stop it, It's not funny. I can’t do anything right, rookie’, she seriously stated.
‘I think you are doing great, helping those people out. No offense, but i think I’m the best thing that ever happened to you’, he said, pleased.
‘You...the best thing that happened to me was my wardrobe’. Tired of his indolence, Ada placed her hands on the former cop’s neck and squeezed a bit. Leon, still smiling, easily knocked her down and landed on top of her, laying his lips firmly on hers, until the woman brought her hands to the blond hair and tangled her fingers there, pulling him closer. He caressed her waist, and moaned a little when she broke the kiss.
‘Do you want to know whats the worst part? When it’s over, when I have to go home, I just want to be here again. But I can’t.’
‘Why not?’ he murmured against her lips.
‘You know why’.