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“So,” Patrick says, and the way he says it is enough to clue David in to the fact that something is – well, not wrong, per se, but definitely off.
“Yeah?”
“You remember my cousin Claire, right?”
“Um…” The name rings a bell, but David can’t quite place it. “Remind me again?”
“My aunt Caroline’s daughter.”
“Sorry,” David says, pulling his most apologetic face.
Patrick sighs. “The one with the knockoff Prada bag.”
“Oh!” Why didn’t Patrick lead with that? “Yes, of course I remember her!”
“Amazing,” Patrick says under his breath. “She’s getting married and she wants me to walk her down the aisle.”
“Why isn’t her dad doing it? Isn’t that usually the kind of thing dads do?”
“She’s never met her dad.”
David kind of feels shitty then. But if she doesn’t have a dad, it kind of says a lot that Patrick is the one she wants there with her. “Okay,” he says. “That’s actually really sweet.”
“She wants me to bring a guest.” Patrick wraps an arm around David and runs his hand down David’s chest. David loves how physically affectionate Patrick can be with him.
“You want to take me?”
“Of course, David. You’re my husband. And it’s close enough to drive, so we wouldn’t have to worry about flights or getting to the airport on time.”
“Well,” David says. “If you insist…”
David knows Stevie steals from the store, and Patrick doesn’t really want her watching it, but it’s not like they really have anyone better to ask in this town. If he asks his parents… well, that would completely destroy Rose Apothecary. Roland might literally burn it to the ground (accidentally, David’s sure, but still).
So he asks her. And she says she can’t, because she has “family stuff” that weekend, which she gets weirdly cagey about. David doesn’t really push her. He has too much to worry about (what is he going to wear? He has to make a good first impression! This is the rest of Patrick’s family!), and maybe closing the shop for one weekend is actually better move, business-wise.
At least then he won’t be worrying about it nonstop.
So he and Patrick get everything ready to close the shop for the weekend. David probably is way too anxious about it, but Patrick is there to reassure him.
It’s still kind of crazy that he’s found someone who loves him as much as Patrick does; David hardly thinks he deserves it, but he knows better by now than to go too much into that line of thought.
So he kisses his husband and asks his opinion about what outfits to pack, even though he knows Patrick is totally useless with that kind of thing. It’s more the principle of the thing.
The wedding venue is only a few hours away, but it is over the U.S. border. Patrick was right: it isn’t a long drive, but it does just cross that line that makes David miss the old private jets (not that he mentions that to Patrick, who’s clearly worked really hard on his little road trip playlist).
They’re staying at a big-name four-star chain hotel in the suburban town. David, for one, fully intends on taking advantage of it. Of course, he’s pretty sure all the guests for the wedding will be staying at the same hotel, but still. He’s kind of excited about it.
Patrick’s parents are waiting in the lobby when they get in. They greet them both with hugs, and David even manages not to complain that he smells like car and desperately needs to shower.
The Brewers insist on taking them out to dinner, and David’s not about to refuse them. He does excuse himself to take a quick shower.
Well, maybe not quick…
When he emerges in a fluffy bathrobe, Patrick is sitting on the king-sized bed, watching some kind of sports game (David’s tried to learn about sports because Patrick cares so much, but it’s just so boring).
David lies down on the bed and sighs. “Okay, the water pressure? Amazing.”
“That’s great.”
He stretches out. “God, it’s been so long since I’ve stayed in a hotel.”
Patrick pauses the TV and turns to look at him. “David.”
“What?”
“Up until six months ago, you lived in a hotel. For, like, five years.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t count.”
“Why not?”
“Because I wasn’t, like, a real guest. And it’s really not like the Rosebud Motel is the height of luxury, or anything.”
David can tell Patrick wants to laugh, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans in to kiss him.
Dinner is actually really nice. It’s surprisingly not at a chain; David has to give Mr. and Mrs. Brewer credit. He totally expected to end up at an Olive Garden, or something.
But no, it’s a cute little family-run restaurant with good food, and very little embarrassing conversation. Which, like, would never happen with David’s family. The Brewers are pretty normal and totally nice.
And now they’re his family, too.
They run into Patrick’s cousin Claire when they’re leaving the restaurant, and David actually recognises her. She looks a little like Patrick – same eyes, same nose – though her hair is lighter and she greets him with a grin and a hug, which Patrick would never do with someone he’s met twice.
She’s adorable, though (like her cousin), and she tells him how happy she is that they both could make it.
“Of course; we wouldn’t miss it for the world!” he says.
He doesn’t even mention her knockoff Prada bag.
(image description: a digital doodle of David Rose from Schitt's Creek)