Archive of Our Own

The trouble about dating Jensen-

No, wait.

The trouble about having occasional casual sex - that probably doesn’t mean anything, Jared knows, it’s not like they’re holding hands and reading each other poetry or anything and is it really sex if they haven’t actually… well, put anything other than fingers up there? – with Jensen is that just the sight of him brings up amazingly vivid images that have very embarrassing effects on certain parts of Jared’s anatomy at the most inconvenient times.

Jared’s pretty sure that when Kripke wanted Sam to ‘lay himself bare’ and just ‘put it all out there, Jared,’ he wasn’t talking about Jared’s dick. Or if he was… well, then Jared signed up for a whole different show than he thought. Which actually wouldn’t be such a bad thing, he thinks, since at least then this problem with his dick would be swiftly taken care of.

Instead he’s staring with Sam’s soulful eyes out of the window of the Impala, trying to put himself in the right mindset for mourning his dead girlfriend. Grief and hard-ons don’t really go together that well.

‘Sad. Think sad. Your girlfriend got burned up on the ceiling by… something. Do we even know yet? Not like they ever tell us shit. Like when is Dean gonna take his shirt off? Damn. Ok, focus. You’ve been forced back to the life you hated. So mix in some anger there. And the brother you haven’t talked to in two years is right by your side and you kinda hate him because everything seems so simple and easy for him and why the hell isn’t he having problems with his dick? All he does is sit there, doing shit all but looking pretty, and I’m about to come in my pants! Bet I could pull it out and jerk off until I come all over the fucking dashboard and he wouldn’t even bat an eye, the smug bastard.

Stop it! Not Jensen. Dean. He’s Dean. And I’m Sam. And we’re brothers, remember? So no jerking off in the Impala. At least not when we’re in character. And the cameras are rolling.

Although…

No!

Where was I? Yeah, right. Sam. Sad and angry. And feeling guilty.’

Jared swallows. That he can do. He still hasn’t told Sandy and has no idea how. Seriously, how do you tell someone something like that? ‘So, Sandy… Remember Jensen? Yeah, him. Right. We’re kinda… well, involved. You know, kissing. And doing… other stuff. Which I guess makes me gay. Or bi. Whatever. I haven’t really figured that out yet. And I think I might be in love with him even if he’s probably just fooling around with me and… Well, just thought you should know so… yeah. Ok, bye.’

Just the thought of it has his heart racing and the taste of bile rising in his throat. She’s like… awesome. In every way. Beautiful and sexy and fun and so sweet and kind he’d wanted to take her home to meet his momma the minute he met her, Maxim's shots be damned.

And he does love her. Really. He’s just not sure he’s in love with her anymore. Not when all he can think about is Jensen and the way he smiles and laughs and smells and the freckles sprinkled across his skin and that glint in his eyes and…

God, he’s got it bad. Much worse than he ever did with Sandy. Which makes him feel even worse. Sandy doesn’t deserve being treated like this. She even called last night while he was sprawled in front of the TV, Jensen’s lips wrapped around his dick. Listening to his girlfriend go on and on about how much she misses him while his… co-star, fuckbuddy, whatever, sucks him off? Yeah, that was a whole new level of wrongness that he’d never think he’d reach. And still just the thought of it has him growing even harder. Shit. Thank God Sam’s pants are baggy or-

“You okay?”

The hand briefly touching his chest makes him jump and he turns to Jensen with a fake smile. “Yeah. Yeah. Just… thinking, you know.”

Jensen frowns at him and then there’s a loud shout of ‘cut’ and Jensen sighs and shakes his head. “Dude, that’s not your line.”

What? Oh crap.

“Man, what’s up with you?” There’s a hint of irritation in Jensen’s voice and Jared can’t really blame him. “You’re zoning out in the middle of a scene? What the hell, Jare?”

“Sorry.” Jared can feel himself blushing and he offers an apologetic smile to Kripke and waves to the crew. “Sorry!”

They smile back. It’s still early in the day or he would be getting glares instead. One of the cameramen calls Eric over for a consult and Jared uses the brief break to calm down the blood raging through his veins. Deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Or was it the other way around?

“So what were you thinking about?”

Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him with an odd look in his eyes that’s almost hidden by his easy smile. They might know each other better than two guys playing brothers really should but half the time Jared still doesn’t know how to read Jensen. Sometime he wonders if he ever will. The guy keeps his thoughts and feelings pretty locked up and right now Jared’s not sure whether he’s genuinely interested or pissed off or what. So telling him ‘I got distracted thinking about you sucking my dick’ might not be the best idea. Instead he feigns boredom, picking at the hem of his shirt.

“Nothing.”

Jensen’s stares at him for a moment, then his eyes go hard, his lips thin. “Alright. Whatever.”

Damn. Jared looks hastily around and then leans over, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I’m just… I’ve got a small problem.” And to his horror he can feel himself blushing.

Jensen turns to look at him, eyes blinking. Then he lets them slide down Jared’s body until they reach his lap before raising his gaze again. Despite everything Jared’s relieved to find the hard look gone, replaced by amusement. “Doesn’t look that small to me.”

“Shut up. It’s not… It won’t go away,” he hisses. “Stop laughing! You know, this is all your-“

There’s a knock on the window and he jumps, face turning scarlet red. Kim is looking in at them with raised eyebrows and when Jared rolls down the window he pops his head almost all the way in. “Yeah, just thought I’d remind you guys…” He taps his headphones and smirks. “Mic’s still on.”

Jared freezes, taking in the grins of the crew surrounding the car, and tries frantically to remember exactly what he’d just said. Not ‘ Ain’t my fault you make me hard’ or ‘You better take care of this in your trailer later’ or anything like that, right? Right?

“Give the kid a break. He’s young. All those hormones…”

Jared swings around in his seat to find Jensen with a hyena grin on his face. “Dude!”

“Aaww, don’t be like that. We’re just jealous ‘cause we’re old and frigid. Right, Kim?”

“Right. Sure.” Kim snorts. “You need a break to take care of your ‘little problem’, Jared?”

“No!”

Whatever problem he’d had it’s all gone now. He’s actually pretty sure he’ll never have that particular ‘problem’ ever again. In fact, he can probably put up an obituary for his dick. ‘Died of embarrassment. Please send your condolences to Jensen’s mouth’.

“Can we please just…? God! I’m fine. No break.”

“Hey, we can take five, no problem.” Kim tilts his head. “Five’s enough, right? Strapping young lad like you…”

Oh God. They are never ever gonna let him forget this, are they? He hides his face in his hands and groans. “Jensen, will you please kill him for me? And everyone else, thank you.”

“Jared?”

“Yeah?” He looks up and straight into Jensen’s camera phone as it goes ‘click’. What the fuck? “Jen!”

Jensen grins and Jared can’t understand how he ever found Jensen’s lips pretty because those right there? Pure evil.

“This one I’m sending Mike.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Oh, I so would.”

Jared makes a grab for the phone but Jensen is out of the car and on the run in the blink of an eye. By the time Jared has stumbled out on his own side Jensen is half across the set, pushing frantically at the buttons on his phone. Oh no. Nonono.

“Jensen!”

Jensen only laughs. A very, very evil laugh. How did Jared never notice how very evil Jensen is? “This is priceless.” He waves the phone in triumph. “And there it goes!”

“I’m gonna kill you!” Jared manages to catch the collar of Dean’s leather jacket but Jensen slips out of it and ducks behind Big Don, then swerves and runs around the car.

“What you gonna do, Jare?” he pants, shoulders shaking with laughter. “Beat me over the head with your ‘little problem’?”

“You? Are dead. Dead! Do you hear me?” Jared tries to grab him over the roof of the Impala but again Jensen ducks to the side before running in the opposite direction.

“Guys! Will you just… Guys! Fine! Just ruin the day, won’t ya?” Eric throws up his hands in defeat. “We’re taking a break. Twenty minutes.”

He mutters some heavy swearing under his breath as Jensen yells, “Help!” over his shoulder before disappearing between the trailers, Jared on his heels. Damn kids.

Jared runs around both his trailer and Jensen’s and five others before he finally stops, hands on his knees as he doubles over, fighting for breath. Fuck, where did Jensen go? There are about a dozen trailers and he could be hiding behind, or even under, any of them. Sneaky little bastard.

A gravelly sound makes him freeze and hold his breath, straining his ears. Oh yeah. There you are. He waits completely still for a little while longer, pinpointing the sound, then quickly jumps up and swings around the corner, catching sight of Jensen disappearing into his trailer.

Aha! So he cheats as well? Think it’s about time Jenny boy got what he deserves.

Jared tiptoes over to the door, waits a minute while listening for any sounds, then takes a deep breath before grabbing the handle and swinging the door open. “Gotcha!”

He freezes.

Jensen is leaning against the small kitchen cupboard, his breath heaving, a smirk plastered on his lips. He’s wearing Dean’s boots and jeans, top two buttons undone, and nothing else. “Took you long enough.”

‘Close your mouth ‘fore it fills with flies, JT,’ his momma would say but thankfully she’s not here because one, not a convenient time and two, he’s not sure he has enough brain function to manage even that. “Wha… What are you doing?”

“Thought you had a problem.” Jensen pushes himself away from the cupboard and walks over, grabbing on to Sam’s belt. “Want me to take care of it?”

And just like that? It’s back.

Jared stumbles in the door as Jensen walks backwards, dragging him by his belt buckle toward the small couch. “You played me. You tricked me to follow you here.”

“Duh.” Jensen snaps open the belt and tugs at the button. “Are you gonna help me out here or what? Eric said twenty minutes.”

Jared blinks. Then he’s fumbling frantically with Sam’s pants, pulling down the zipper and shoving jeans and boxer briefs down to his knees as fast as he can. Jensen already has the jacket and hoodie off Jared’s shoulders and halfway down his arms and within seconds Jared’s left in only his tee and with his pants around his ankles. Which feels stupid so he kicks them off and pulls the t-shirt over his head, throwing it to the side. The fact that Jensen’s still in his jeans and boots only makes him harder.

Jensen steps back and gives him an appreciative look before licking his lips, eyebrow cocked suggestively. “What you want, Jare? Hand or mouth?”

“Jesus!”

The eyebrow crawls higher. “Not sure I can manage that.”

“I mean… Fuck, Jen. Your mouth. Please. God.”

Jensen gives him a sultry smile, eyes darkening, and then he’s sinking to his knees, hands running down Jared’s hips until they’re palming his thighs. “You’re lucky Sam’s pants are so baggy or Dean’s brotherly love would take a whole new direction, having that in his face all damn day.”

He gives Jared a grin, then nuzzles into the wiry hairs in his groin and fuck if that isn’t the sexiest thing ever. Jared fumbles with one hand until he finds the corner of the couch behind him and grabs on for dear life, his other hand reaching out to curl on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Sam… Sam’s not been feeling too brotherly either.” He gasps as the tip of Jensen’s tongue runs over the head of his cock. “Fuck, Jen!”

Jensen chuckles. “Not now.” He licks a line up Jared’s cock, then swirls his tongue around the head a few times before pulling back, smacking his lips.

“Oh-okay…”

Oh God. Jared sucks in his breath as he’s swallowed down. How does Jen do that? He’s like a damn Hoover. A very wet and warm and silky-soft Hoover. Jesus!

“Whe-when then?”

Jensen stills, and then looks up, Jared’s cock sliding out of his mouth.

“When? You want to…?” He suddenly looks uncertain, licking his lips nervously. “I mean… Are we…?”

“What?” Jared’s trying to gather his thoughts because he’s pretty sure he’s missing something important but half his brain has leaked down to his dick. “You don’t want to?”

Jensen looks down again, hot puffs of air tickling Jared’s wet cock. “Yeah. I mean... Sure. Now?”

“Think we’ll need more than twenty minutes for that.”

Jensen laughs nervously then he glances up with an unreadable look in his eyes. Before Jared has the chance to ask him if everything’s all right he’s being shoved to the side and then he’s falling down on the couch, arms flailing. “Jen!”

“Come on, lay back. Spread your legs.”

Jared suddenly panics. This wasn’t exactly how he imagined losing his backdoor virginity. Too little time and the couch is ridiculously small and… God, did they even lock the door? “Jensen. Wait. I’m not…”

“Sshh. Relax. You’ll like this.” Jensen pushes up his thighs

“Wha-?” And then his brain short circuits because Jensen? Is licking his ass. With his tongue! Ok, of course his tongue since licking… yeah. But... tongue! There! Up his crack and swirling around his entrance and… Nngh!

He’s dead. There’s no other explanation for it. He’s dead and gone to Heaven and apparently there’s rimming there. Which… huh. Weird. And probably not what most people expect.

He’s brought suddenly back to earth when Jensen yelps and digs his fingers into Jared’s thigh muscles. “Ow!”

“Shit!” Jared pulls his cramping fingers out of Jensen’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

“’S okay,” Jensen grumbles. “Just… ow.” He rubs a hand over his head. “Thought you’d rip my scalp off.”

“Sorry. You just surprised me.” Jared laughs nervously. “What the hell was that?”

Jensen sits back, giving him an incredulous look. “I have to explain it to you?”

“No, I mean…” He blushes. “Why did you do that?”

Jensen looks away and shrugs. “Just figured if we’re gonna fuck later you could use a few pointers about prepping, that’s all. I mean, I know you’ve never done it before so…”

“Oh. Okay.” Jared frowns. “Wait. You want me to fuck you?”

Jensen stiffens then looks back at him, eyes wary. “I thought that’s what you wanted. Didn’t you just say…?”

“Uh… I was thinking more the other way around.”

Jensen just stares at him. “Oh.” He blinks. “Oh. You…? Oh.”

“Yeah.” Jared suddenly feels awkward and stupid all naked with his wet ass practically in Jensen’s face, and sits up, running a shaky hand through his damp hair. “I mean… We don’t have to if you don’t…” Fuck. “We can just do this. Or something else. Or…nothing. We don’t have to do anything. It’s okay. I mean, I’m okay. I can just…”

“Jared? Shut up.”

“Ok.” He waits a beat, watching Jensen as he runs a hand across his face then back to his neck, rubbing it. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” Jensen swallows, his cheeks turning an adorable pink. “I’ve never topped.”

Jared blinks. “What?”

“Topped. I never top. Not with a guy. I’m always… Yeah.” He gives a shaky laugh and shrugs as if it’s nothing.

“Huh.” Jared blinks again. Granted, he hasn’t been consciously gay for more than a few months but he kinda thought once you were doing it, you did all of it. “That’s…” He stops. “Yeah, I don’t know what that is.” He frowns in confusion. “Why?”

Jensen shrugs again, the blush traveling up his face and down his chest. “I don’t know. That’s just what happens.”

“Oh.” Jared suddenly has this image of Jensen on his hands and knees in front of a row of guys waiting their turn. “You do this a lot?”

The moment the words slip out he wants to kick himself. Jensen’s eyes go cold, there’s a quick twitch to his lips and then he glances at Dean’s watch before giving Jared a pointed look. “Ten minutes left. You wanna talk or come?”

“I wanna ta-” Jared gasps as Jensen sucks him back into his mouth. “But that can wait. Fuck, Jen. You… yes. Right… God… there… and… Jesus! I’m gonna… Jen!”

Jensen sits back, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth before standing up. “Better freshen up. Five minutes.”

Jared’s head is swimming, cheeks flushed red, and he stares at Jensen as he walks over to the other side of the trailer, picking up the clothes he discarded earlier. Isn’t until he’s pulling on the t-shirt that Jared finally manages to make his brain connect with his mouth. “Wait! Jen, you haven’t… Come on. Get over here.”

“No time. I’m all right.” Jensen gives him a quick smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and he’s out the door before Jared has time to call him back.

Shit.

Jared falls back on the couch, still heaving for breath. He feels all wrong. Guilty. Which is stupid because he didn’t force Jensen into doing anything? But right now he feels like that one time Chad bought him a hooker (“Not a real Hollywood actor until you’ve been sucked by a five star prostitute, man!”) and he tried not to thrust too far down her throat, even if she was clearly used to it, because she’d looked about fifteen and reminded him scarily of one of Megan’s friends. Made him feel dirty and kinda sick. And even if he’d blamed the alcohol for all the puking he’d done later that night he’d known what had brought it on.

And that’s pretty much how he feels now. Like he’d done something dirty and not in a good way. In the three weeks they’ve been doing this - Or six months and three weeks, really. There had been the pilot and then six months of Jared hovering by the phone as he waited for news if the show was getting picked up, refusing to even think of Jensen. And then suddenly he was back in Vancouver, in Jensen’s trailer, on Jensen’s couch and in Jensen’s mouth and he never wanted to leave, ever - he has to admit he’s been more on the receiving end. He didn’t really mean for it to turn out that way, Jensen is just awfully quick (and so goddamn hot!) dropping to his knees and it’s hard to argue when someone is sucking your brain out through your dick.

The few times it’s been Jared on his knees Jensen pretty much loses it, legs shaking and hands flailing, moans and whimpers singing sweetly in Jared’s ears, so it’s not as if Jared’s bad at it, he hopes, it’s just that if they start the other way… Well, once Jensen’s blown him Jared’s not much good for anything and so it usually ends with Jensen jerking himself off while Jared watches him with drooping eyes, slurring ‘Yeah, Jensen, yeah. Come on,’ as he tries to stay awake.

Come to think of it, Jared’s been a selfish prick (in more sense than one) and he thinks it’s about time he did something about that. First step? Getting Jensen’s dick up Jared’s ass. Yep, that sounds like a good plan.

By the time he gets back to the set Jensen’s already in the Impala and every member of the crew turns to look at Jared with a grin. At first he thinks they might know and feels panic rise in his throat. Then he realizes the ‘little problem’ joke is still going strong and apparently now they all think he really did go off to ‘take care of it.’ Which is true, in a way, but he really has no desire for everyone he works with to imagine him jerking off in his trailer. Even if he suspects he still looks flushed and sweaty and he has a feeling he buttoned his shirt up wrong. Think fast, Jared. Think fast.

“There he is!” He stalks over to the Impala and wrenches the door open. “You think you’ve punk’d me? I just emailed Chad your yearbook pics. Ha! Lo-ho-se-her!”

Jensen just blinks up at him. “Dude, those pictures have been on the internet for years. You’ve got nothing.”

“Oh.” Jared frowns. Ok, for a lie that was a pretty lame one. “Really? Damn.” He slides into the passenger seat, putting on his best pout. “They're still such cheesy pictures. ‘Most attractive?’ I mean, hell. How ugly were the other guys at your school?”

“Funny. You, man, are just hilarious. I’m peeing myself here,” Jensen deadpans but the cold look in his eyes is gone, replaced by the familiar glint that makes Jared’s heart skip a beat. “So… You ready to roll?”

He jerks his head in Eric’s direction and him and Jared both give their producer wide grins, which are answered by a roll of eyes. Then Eric starts barking orders and everyone’s back to business.

It’s a long day that turns into a long night and when they finally stumble off set at two o’clock in the morning, sex is the furthest thing from Jared’s mind. He just wants to get out of these clothes that are starting to reek, have a hot shower and then crash into bed and sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep until the sky turns red and the ocean into yoghurt. Or at least until noon. God, he’s dead, he’s so tired. Dead, dead, dead, dead, de-

“Hey, Jare?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna come over for a beer?”

“Ok.”

Sleep is overrated anyway.

-------------

Ever since that first time they got together Jared’s been careful with any kind of alcohol. Not that being drunk off his ass and hitting on Jensen had been a bad idea because hello! Look where it lead. But he has a tendency to blabber on about things he probably should keep to himself when he’s drunk and like he said, Jensen hasn’t really given much of himself yet. It’s not that Jared doesn’t trust the guy; it’s more that he doesn’t really trust this. Like what are they and where are they going with this and is Jensen having any feelings that come close to what Jared is feeling? And until he knows, or at least has enough hints that he might guess, Jared’s not gonna get drunk and possibly blurt out to Jensen that he’s in love with him or something equally disastrous.

So if his sister, or even Chad, had been there (thank god, they’re not) they probably would have reminded him of that time he stayed up until five in the morning and then drank a bottle of cider and consequently spent the night in lockup for indecent behavior. (“It’s not really pole-dancing if it’s a streetlight, officer.”) Which is to say that Jared is a lightweight and when tired he’s about as light as a feather. And boy is he tired now.

“So Jen, what’s with the blowjobs, man?”

Jensen glances over at him from where he’s sprawled on the other end of the couch, lips still swollen and glistening. “Huh?”

“Don’t get me wrong, they’re great. Hell, you’re like the best blowjobber in the whole world.”

Jensen raises his eyebrow, a small smile curling his lips. “Blowjobber?”

“No?” Jared frowns. “Blowjob person? Whatever. You suck like no person has sucked before.”

Now it’s Jensen’s turn to frown. “Ookaay. That’s kinda insulting, man.”

“What? No! No, no. It’s a compliment, Jen. You do blowjobs good. Like… wow. And I know I’m… I’m not that good.” Jared sticks out his lower lip, shaking his head sadly. “I bet I’m awful.”

“You’re not awful, Jare,” Jensen snorts. “Believe me, you’re far from awful.”

“Yeah? See though, I think, yeah. I need…yeah.” Jared nods to himself. “I need to practice. I need to practice on you, Jen.”

“Uh, okay. Practice is always good.”

“Right. ‘Cause all I know… I mean, this whole gay stuff thing, or bi or… cocksucking. Yeah. All that I’ve learned from you so I know the technique, man, I just need to… practice.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jensen sticks up his thumb and nods approvingly. “I like a man with a plan.”

He starts undoing his jeans but Jared leans over and grabs Jensen’s wrist, shaking his head. “Not gonna blow you, man, not now.”

Jensen pouts slightly then waves his free hand dismissively. “Whatever.” He yawns and runs his fingers over Jared’s wrist. “I’m too tired anyway.”

“No, I mean…” Jared has a feeling he’s saying it all wrong. Whatever it is he’s trying to say. What was it again? “Listen. I’m trying to make a point here so listen, ok?”

“There’s a point to blowjobs?”

“Yes. The point… Ok, I forgot the point.” Jared scrunches up his face as he tries to remember. Something about Jensen’s dick. Yeah. Right. “Your dick needs to go up my ass, man.”

Jensen freezes, the sleepy look in his eyes instantly gone. “What!?!”

“Your dick needs…” Jared sighs at the confused and slightly shocked expression on Jensen’s face. “I want you to fuck me, Jen.”

“What? Now?”

“Sure.” Jared pauses and thinks it over. “Ok, maybe not now ‘cause I’m so wasted and I wanna remember it.” He gives Jensen his best little-boy look. “You taught me about blowjobs, right? So you need to teach me the sex stuff too.”

Jensen swallows, pulling his hand free of Jared’s grasp. “Jare…”

“No, really. I want your dick up my ass, man.” Jared nods solemnly. “I mean, I want my dick up your ass too but I dunno how to do it so… You need to teach me.” He smiles smugly. Not even Jensen can argue with that magnificent logic.

But Jensen shakes his head, mouth set in a thin line. “Dude, it’s not rocket science. You slick it up and push it in, that’s pretty much it.”

“Nuhuh.” Jared shakes his head. “Like that licking thing? I mean… wow. I’d never have thought of that. And I bet there’s other stuff, lots of gay sex stuff, I don’t know either.” He leans forward and sort of tumbles over until he falls with his head in Jensen’s lap. “Jen, you whimper like a girl when I put a couple of fingers up your ass. Have you seen my dick? I mean… obviously, but… It’s bigger than my fingers, dude. Way bigger. I’m not gonna just shove it in there.”

Jensen looks down at him with an odd smile and then his fingers are in Jared’s hair, running slowly through it. “I’m not exactly a virgin, Jare. And yeah, so it’s been a while, but I think I can take your dick. Even if it’s bigger than your gigantic fingers.”

“Waaaay bigger.”

“Even if it’s way bigger than your gigantic fingers.”

He smiles again but this time it’s genuine and Jared smiles back up at him, before closing his eyes and snuggling his nose into Jensen’s crotch. “I love your dick, man.”

Jensen chuckles at that. “You are so drunk, you know that?”

“Whatever. Still love your dick. And you, Jen. Love you, man.”

Jensen’s fingers still in Jared’s hair and he makes a soft mewling sound in protest. But he’s too tired to argue and instead just sighs and mumbles, “Sleep now.”

He thinks he hears Jensen whisper “Fuck, Jay,” but it’s far away and didn’t they decide they weren’t gonna do that until he was sober anyway? Or at least not drunk off his ass because that leads to bad things, he knows, although he can’t remember what exactly.

He’ll think about it in the morning.

-------------

“Unh…”

Thud.

“Wha…?”

Jared stares up at the ceiling, blinking his eyes slowly, then turns his head to confirm that yes, he just fell off a couch and yes, he is lying on the floor in Jensen’s living room. Huh.

Granted he just cracked his head on the floor but that doesn’t quite explain the swimming feeling or the slightly blurry vision. And the taste coating his tongue is suspiciously familiar. He turns his head the other way and is greeted by the sight of several beer cans spread over the floor and is that an empty bottle of tequila? His stomach lurches a yes, bringing a foul tasting burp into his mouth that makes his eyes water.

Ok, he got drunk. That’s pretty obvious. And he’s at Jensen’s place, which means he got drunk with Jensen. Then he must have fallen asleep, on Jensen’s reasonably comfortable but still far too short couch, which explains why his neck and back are killing him. He’s napped on that thing a few times under the pretense of watching the game but it clearly wasn’t made for real sleeping. Something Jared made sure his own was before he bought it because sometimes you just can’t be bothered to get up and go to bed. Especially after being blown to the moon and beyond by Jensen’s pretty mouth.

All of this doesn’t explain though why he’s here and not in Jensen’s bed. Because if Jensen was a true friend he would have woken Jared up and dragged him into the bedroom. And maybe blown him again because that’s what good friends do. They do absolutely not leave you sleeping on a couch that’s too short and Jensen-less. That’s just not cool, man.

With an effort Jared manages to roll over on his stomach then pulls up his knees until he’s resting with his head on his folded arms, ass in air. After a few breaths he pushes himself up on all fours then grabs the couch and hauls himself up to his feet. Uhuh. Everything’s swaying. His bare arms are covered in goosebumps and he hugs himself, shivering. Stupid Jensen could at least have thrown a blanket over him.

“Jen? Jensen?”

He stumbles past the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall. Half past six in the morning. No wonder he’s still half-drunk. The door to Jensen’s bedroom is closed but Jared just pushes it open and staggers in. Jensen is asleep on his back, right arm thrown across his eyes, lips parted slightly. Jared takes a moment to drink in the sight, sleepily considering finding his phone to add another picture to his Proof Jensen Is The Prettiest Thing Ever collection, but the lure of the bed is too strong. Instead he starts removing his t-shirt and unbuttoning his pants, which frankly is a lot harder than one would think. Stupid belt, stupid buttons, stupid goddamn zipper. Finally he gets them loose and the baggy jeans drop down by the weight of his belt and pool around his ankles. He steps out of them and pushes them to the side, losing his balance for only a moment before grabbing on to the headboard with one hand and then he’s crawling into bed.

It’s warm under the covers and Jared shivers slightly before scooting over, one arm sneaking across Jensen’s stomach, hugging him close. Jensen is always so warm, like a radiator. A hot, soft skinned, slightly hairy radiator. Everyone should have one, Jared thinks, especially when you live in a place like Vancouver. Jensen shifts and mutters in his sleep, then turns over to his side, warm back to Jared’s chilly chest and he almost forgives Jensen that whole blanket thing. Almost. Nuzzling into Jensen’s damp neck, Jared breathes in the smell of warm sleep and hair gel. They don’t end up in bed that often, probably because he hasn’t spent the night more than a couple of times. Sleepily Jared wonders why because clearly this is the best thing in the world and he’s never gonna leave this warm spot ever again. They need to get a few more pillows though because Jensen is hogging two and the one under Jared’s head is way too thin for his heavy head. With a huge yawn Jared slides one long leg in between Jensen’s and snuggles closer until they’re glued together top to bottom. A sloppy kiss on Jensen’s neck and Jared soon slips into a dream about the Fab Five helping him and Jensen choose a gigantic bed with pink pillows and built-in vibration.

-------------

“Hey there.”

“Uhmu?” Jared opens his eyes slowly and turns his head toward the sound to find Jensen squinting at him. “Wha-?”

“Morning.”

Jensen smiles and reaches out to stroke the long bangs out of Jared’s eyes, fingers lingering behind his ears before stretching further to retrieve his glasses from the small bedside table on Jared’s side. The hairs in his armpit brush Jared’s nose, almost tickling him to a sneeze. Now there’s a subtle reminder that sleeping with guys is a whole lot different than sleeping with girls. Hair everywhere, no boobs and poking in interesting places.

“Ahrg-?” Jared clears his throat and tries again, “Already?”

“It’s almost eleven.”

The fingers return, twisting the curls in the back of Jared’s neck while Jensen watches him, those sexy glasses perched on his freckled nose. Once Jensen blew him with the glasses on and Jared came so hard he almost passed out. Gave him a whole new appreciation for nerds. If he’d realized sooner how sexy glasses were he maybe would have joined the chess club like his momma wanted. But then again, the guys in the chess club weren’t Jensen.

Jared yawns and smacks his lips. His teeth as well as his tongue are fuzzy and he bets his morning breath could kill an elephant. Jensen wrinkles his nose but doesn’t pull away, just smiles indulgently like he does when Jared talks with his mouth full of gummy bears or drinks down a whole can of Dr. Pepper before burping like a walrus. Jensen’s breath smells only faintly of alcohol and much more of Colgate and really, it's not fair that not only is his face smooth and not creased with sleep wrinkles or his hair sticking up like an insane scientist’s, the way Jared knows his own does, but he smells fresh and clean while Jared feels like he just crawled out of a jock strap after licking it with his tongue. If this was a movie about ‘the morning after’ then Jensen is the Brad Pitt Hollywood version while Jared is the original European one. Possibly French and starring Jean Reno.

Talking about movies. He has a vague recollection of Apocalypse Now, a couch and beer and… hey!

“Dude! You left me on the couch!" Pouting the way Sandy says makes him look like an adorable five year old, he jabs Jensen in the chest with his finger. "I fell off and hit my head.” He sniffs pathetically and pulls the covers up to his ears. “Was freaking cold too, asshole.”

Jensen purses his lips but he can’t hold back the smile tugging at the left corner. “You passed out, Jared. Dead to the world. Really think I can carry your gigantic ass?”

“Didn’t pass out.” Jared shakes his head, pout protruding even more. “Fell asleep. Big difference.”

That makes Jensen laugh. “Ok. If you say so.” He twists a few locks of hair between his fingers before letting go, warm palm sliding down Jared’s shoulder and then it starts rubbing his arm as if it’s still cold and not sleepy hot and prickly with sweat. “I guess I could have thrown you a blanket. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Nuhuh. Saying sorry is not enough.”

“No?”

“No.” Jared smiles smugly, rolling over on his back and stretching lazily before putting his hands under his head. “You need to earn it.” He waggles his eyebrows and grins.

“Yeah?” Jensen grins back and runs one hand down Jared’s chest and belly. “Have something in mind?”

“Yeah.” Jared closes his eyes as the warm fingers reach his cock. “Mmm, yeah.” There’s something nagging at the back of his mind but it’s hard to think with Jensen’s fingers stroking him and Jensen’s lips sucking his nipple and Jensen’s cock pressing against his...

Wait…

His eyes spring open and he grabs the hand currently cupping his balls. “Stop.”

“What?” Jensen glances up, lips pink and wet and with those glasses he looks so damn edible Jared just has to grab him by the neck and kiss him hard before giving him a big grin.

“I just remembered! Last night!”

Weirdly enough Jensen looks panicked and he pulls slowly away. “Remembered what?”

“The plan! The point!” Ignoring Jensen’s weirdness for now Jared rolls them over, pinning Jensen underneath him on the bed. “Your cock up my ass.”

Jensen stares up at him but the panicked look is gone, replaced with wariness. “Jare…”

“C’mon, Jen. I want you to fuck me. Don’t you wanna?” He flutters his eyelashes and grinds their hips together. “I have the sweetest ass, baby. Tightest… well, in Canada at least.”

“Ok, see… That’s kinda the problem, Jare,” Jensen sighs, a slight twitch to his lips the only indication that Jared’s excessive flirting is having any effect on him. Well, that and his cock swelling in his boxers. He runs his fingers up Jared’s back and into his hair, tugging lightly. For all the jokes he throws about Jared’s mop he never seems able to keep his hands out of it. “I’m not sure you know what you’re asking for.”

“Dude, I think I do.” Jared rolls his eyes and nudges Jensen’s cheek with his nose. “I know it’s not gonna be like puppies and roses the first time. I’m not stupid, Jen. But…” He shivers slightly. “Man, whenever you put your fingers in there…”

“Nuhuh.” Jensen shakes his head. “Finger. One, Jare. And you clamp down so hard every time I think you’re gonna squeeze it right off my hand, man.”

Jared stares at him. “One?” Huh. “Really? You sure?” He grabs Jensen’s right hand and studies the fingers with a frown. “Feels like at least three.”

“Pretty sure, Jare.” Jensen gives him a soft smile which stutters slightly when Jared starts covering his fingers with slow wet kisses. “Which is why it’s not a good idea...”

Oh no, he’s not letting Jensen off the hook so easily. “Oh c’mon, Jen. I’m not made of glass. Not gonna break and put splinters in your cock. If you just take it slow…”

“Jare, really. I just don’t think…”

Stubborn bastard. Time to change tactics. “Jeeen!” Jared knits his brow, puppy eyes big and wide, lower lips jutting forward in a sad pout. “How am I ever gonna know if I’m gay or bi or whatever if you won’t even fuck me?”

“Erm… Jay?” Jensen just quirks his eyebrow with a smile, seeming not affected at all which is just not the way this is supposed to go. “I think the cocksucking might be a clue.”

“Dude, girls suck cock. When I close my eyes there ain’t much difference.” Jensen gives him an annoyed glare so he quickly adds, “Except you’re so much better,” and kisses the palm of Jensen’s hand apologetically.

“Damn right I am.”

“But, like, it could be a girl doing it. And when I’m doing it to you… Ok, kinda gay but I could be thinking of lollipops and stuff. Held by girls. So, still with the ‘girls’ thing.” Jared pauses then leans over, breathing into Jensen’s ear, “However girls don’t fuck you in the ass-”

“Some do,” Jensen interrupts.

He considers that for a moment. “Ok, girls who are not Joanna with a strap-on do not fuck you in the ass.”

Jensen laughs but his face turns beet-red and so hot Jared can feel it warming the air between them. “That was one time! And I told you that in confidence! Or… drunk. Whatever.”

“Not telling anyone, am I?” He grins against Jensen’s hot cheek and gives it a quick lick before propping up on one elbow, gazing down at Jensen with a wicked smile. “Although after that stunt you pulled with the phone yesterday…”

The green eyes widen almost comically. “Not the same, dude! Not the same. You tell anyone and I swear to God I’ll…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jared sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes. “Can we get back to the point? The point being your dick in my ass.”

“You know, that’s not nearly as cute when you’re sober.” Jensen’s face turns serious and he pulls Jared down for a quick kiss before continuing, “I’m worried, ok? I’m worried I’ll hurt you and you’ll hate it and…” He swallows. “Fuck, Jare, I don’t know how to make it good for you, ok?”

Jared studies him silently for a while. Jensen looks far too serious and again there’s this guarded look in his eyes that makes Jared want to just pull Jensen in and hold him tight for hours until whatever it is that’s making him so tense goes away. Instead he nods. “Ok.”

Jensen blinks. “Ok?”

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Figure out? Figure out how?”

“You’ll see. But for now…” Jared grins and then he slides down the bed, nibbling his way down Jensen’s chest. “Practice time.”

The low chuckle makes Jensen’s stomach ripple under Jared’s lips. “That part of the plan I did like.”

---------------

“So, I figured it out.”

Jensen gives him a confused look, fingers drumming the steering wheel of the Impala as they wait for the yell to roll. “Figured what out?”

“You know… The plan.” Jared winks, smiling smugly. He has to force himself to sit still and not start bouncing in his seat like an excited toddler on Christmas morning.

Jensen blinks. Then his face flushes red and he jerks his head toward the mic. “Dude! We’re on set!”

“Not gonna tell you here, idiot.” Jared shakes his head and laughs. This is such fun. “I’ll show you later.”

“Show me? Jare, what did you…?”

“Ok, guys. Ready?”

“Sure thing,” Jared shouts and gives Jensen a quick grin before slipping on Sam’s brood face. Jensen stares at him for a few more heartbeats and then he looks straight forward, smoothing out his features into Dean’s relaxed, I’m-driving-the-Impala look.

If he forgets a few lines, who can really blame him? Not Jared, that’s for sure. He might even have forgotten a couple himself.

------------

Jared slips out of Sam’s wardrobe and takes a quick shower in his trailer before changing into his own clothes and practically bouncing over to Jensen’s, a large shoebox under his arm. He knocks cheerily on the door and steps in, catching Jensen just as he slips on his jeans. Jared has this knack for perfect timing when it comes to Jensen and his various states of being undressed. Actually that’s what started his whole PJITPTE collection. Seriously, it’s Jensen’s own fault for always forgetting to lock the door to his trailer. And the bathroom. And the shower. Hmmm, come to think of it, Jared suspects Jensen might have a bit of an exhibitionism kink. Either that or Alzheimer’s.

“You ready?”

“For what?” The suspicious look in Jensen’s eyes is priceless.

“You’ll see. Come on.”

They take Jared’s truck and as soon as Jensen slips into the passenger seat Jared throws him the box. “Here.”

“What is i-?” Jensen’s mouth falls open, his face blushing deep red. “Jesus!”

Jared throws back his head, laughing heartily at Jensen’s shocked expression. It’s even better than he imagined. “I told you I’d figure it out!”

Jensen picks up a purple butt plug, staring at it wide-eyed. “Dude, how many did you buy?”

“Ten. All different sizes. So we start with the smallest one and just… work our way up.” Jared gives him his biggest grin, ignoring the heat in his own cheeks…

“You are insane, you know that?”

“And that’s why you love me, baby.”

Jared laughs again, feeling childishly giddy. Beside him Jensen is silent but when Jared glances over the familiar smile is back, if a little stilted. Poor thing, he must be more nervous about this than Jared. Punching Jensen’s arm Jared grins reassuringly.

“So, your place or mine?”

“Oh, definitely yours. I’m not letting these things into my apartment.”

“Not your “apartment” they’re meant for, remember?” Jared flicks his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, which has Jensen rolling his eyes, his lips twitching into a grin.

“Christ, why do I put up with you?”

“’Cause I’ve got a pretty dick and a sweet soon-to-be de-virginized ass?” Jared jokes, almost missing the way Jensen glances his way, biting his lip before slipping on the familiar smirk.

“Yeah, that must be it.”

Jared frowns slightly as he takes the right turn toward his apartment. There’s that feeling again, that something is off. They need to have a talk, that’s becoming obvious. Sometime when Jensen doesn’t have ten butt plugs in his lap because… Well, that’s just weird.

-----------------------------------------------

“So how we gonna do this?”

They’re sitting on Jared’s bed, butt plugs of all sizes and colors spread out in front of them. Jared can’t stop grinning, juggling a pink one and a black one between his large hands, while Jensen is still shaking his head, barely poking the things.

“You’re insane. This is insane.” He sounds dazed and there’s a drop of sweat running down his temple.

“You’ve said that like ten times already. I’m telling you, it’s not insane, it’s methodo-…metho- It makes sense, ok? Come on, let’s line ‘em up.”

Jensen sighs and picks up a blue one with the tips of his thumb and index finger. “You know, if you hadn’t ripped them all out of their packaging we would be able to read what the actual sizes are.”

Jared laughs. “Yeah, but it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny. You should have seen your face when you opened that shoebox.”

He does his best deer-in-headlight impression, complete with “O” lips and everything and gets swat across the back of his head for his trouble.

“Ow. Dude!”

“I did not look like that and even if I did… Not like I was expecting to get a box full of butt plugs, you moron.”

“Makes me wonder what you were expecting,” Jared grins and starts lining the plugs up, frowning in concentration as he ponders length and girth.

Now that one, the dark pink one, is definitely the smallest. It’s thin and smoothly shaped. Not any wider than Jensen’s fingers. He can take that, Jared thinks with a nod. The bright pink one is biggest, both in length and girth. Christ, even with his long digits he can hardly circle the thickest part. He swallows and his ass clenches just thinking about that thing going inside. It’s a lot bigger than Jensen’s cock though so maybe they won’t have to use it.

“Jare… You don’t have to do this.”

Jared looks up to find Jensen watching him, white teeth worrying his upper lip. “Dude, stop being such a pussy. We’re doing this, alright?”

They hold each other’s stare for a minute and then Jensen nods. “Yeah, ok. But any time you’ve had enough we stop. We clear?”

“Sure, sure.” Jared rolls his eyes and goes back to the plugs. So first the dark pink one and then the purple funny shaped one and… whatever that colour is called. Magenta? Whatever. Number four is green, number five orange, then there’s a white one and a clear see-through one and… He looks up at Jensen. “Maybe we should write this down.”

“Whatever, geek boy.” Jensen smiles and rolls out of bed to fetch the notebook from the computer desk in the corner.

“I’m not Sam, man.”

“Just as well or we wouldn’t be doing this,” Jensen snorts and throws the notebook on the bed before leaning against the wall, watching the display with an odd look on his face.

Jared looks up at him, frowning. “You saying if we were related you wouldn’t want me?”

“What?” It’s so hilarious the way Jensen straightens up, eyes wide with shock that Jared almost starts laughing. “Dude!”

“I’m just sayin’,” Jared shrugs but he can’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “Even if we were Siamese twins I’d still wanna bang you.” He frowns. “Not sure how that would work though. How would that work?”

“Ok, now you’re just being gross. And I thought I was supposed to bang you.”

“First. Then I’m gonna bang you.”

Jensen pushes himself off the wall and walks over, one thumb hooked in the waistband of his jeans. “Or you could just bend me over and fuck me now and we forget about all this.”

Jared closes his eyes for a second because damn if that image isn’t enough to make all his plans seem stupid. With a deep breath he opens his eyes and shakes his head, “No.”

“Dammit, Jared.” Jensen runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, accent slipping along with his nonchalance. “Why you gotta be so goddamn stubborn?”

He thrusts his hands into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders hunched, but Jared can still see the knuckles move under the thin denim as Jensen clenches his fists. He puts down the silver plug he’s been weighing in his hand and gives Jensen a pointed stare.

“I want to do this, Jen. What I can’t figure out is why you don’t. Is there something I should know?”

Jensen’s eyes narrow for a moment but then he looks away and shrugs. “No. I just don’t see what the big deal is. If you wanna fuck, let’s fuck. What the hell does it matter if I bottom and not you?”

Jared blinks. Ookaay. Maybe that talk can’t wait after all. “You think that’s what this is all about? That I just wanna fuck?”

Jensen looks back at him, eyes blank and lips thin. “Ain’t that what you keep telling me?”

“Jen…” Jared sighs and fights the urge to smack his own head. Clearly he’s been going at this all wrong. “If I just wanted to shove my dick up someone’s ass I’d have done it already. And if it was just about me getting something up my ass… well, I have ten fucking butt plugs.”

Jared swings his legs over the edge of the bed and reaches out, catching Jensen’s wrist and pulling the hand out of his pocket just as he backs away. Ignoring Jensen’s warning glare Jared pulls him in until he’s standing between Jared’s spread legs, and he lets Jensen’s wrist go in favor of splaying his long fingers over the narrow hips instead. He can feel Jensen’s heat through the thin material of his t-shirt, his tense muscles hard like rock under the soft skin. Jared bites his upper lip, bowing his head to rest it briefly on the flat stomach in front of him as he struggles to find the right words.

“I want you, Jen. I just want you. Ok?”

He looks up at Jensen through his bangs, pleading him to understand. Jensen stares down at him, but then slowly the wary look fades from his eyes, replaced by something softer and he visibly relaxes. He lifts his hand and runs his fingers through Jared’s hair, back to Jared’s neck, twirling the long strands between his fingers.

“You’re such a girl, Jay, you know that?”

Jared grins and bats his eyes. “Yeah, but I’m your girl.”

The words are out before he realises. Jensen’s fingers tighten in Jared’s hair and Jared holds his breath, the word ‘fuck’ repeating itself frantically in his brain. Fuckfuckfuck and stupidstupidstupid. Then suddenly Jensen’s fingers relax and he starts stroking through Jared’s sweat-damp tangles again.

“Yeah. Yeah, you are.”

Jared breathes out, the smile returning to his face, and he wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, resting his ear above the too-quick pounding heart. It’s not exactly a flowers-and-chocolate love declaration but it’s something. Which means…?

Jared swallows and says, “I’m gonna break up with Sandy.”

Jensen’s stomach jumps under Jared’s chin. “Jare, you don’t have to.”

“Yeah, I do.” The uncertainty returns and Jared wishes he had the nerve to lift his head and see the look in Jensen’s eyes. “Just… tell me you want this. Us.”

Jensen’s fingers tighten in his hair again for a moment and he holds his breath. Then they untangle their hold to stroke Jared’s neck instead. They’re warm and Jared thinks he can feel them tremble. “I want it.” Jensen gives a shaky laugh, fingers curling. “I do. Dammit, Jare. I never meant for this to… Fuck.”

“I kinda got that.” Jared turns his head and pulls up Jensen’s t-shirt to kiss his stomach. Warm and soft-skinned and just the hint of a golden treasure trail. “Is this a bad idea? Us, I mean.”

Jensen laughs again, his hips jutting forward when Jared lets the kiss linger, wet and warm above Jensen’s belly button. “Maybe. Probably.”

Breathe in. “You want out?”

“No.”

Breathe out. “Ok. Good.”

He nibbles playfully at Jensen’s hipbone and then unwraps his arms to let himself fall backwards on the bed, smiling happily up at Jensen. “Ok, so… I figure I walk around with each for about a day and by the time we wrap the episode I should be good to go.”

Jensen blinks. “You’re gonna walk around with a butt plug up your ass? On set?”

“Yep.” He leers. This is the best idea he’s ever had. “Won’t that do wonders for Dean’s ‘brotherly love’?”

“Dude, you’re evil. Dean doesn’t have Sam’s baggy pants.” Jensen groans and adjusts himself with a scowl. “You’ll be lucky if there’s any blood left in my dick after those ten days.”

Jared laughs and then grabs the big pink one and throws it into the far corner of the room. “Make that nine, man. No way I’m putting that gigantic thing up my ass.”

“Thank God. It was giving my dick issues.”

“Yeah?” Jared crosses his ankles behind Jensen’s knees and jerks him forward so he falls, arms flailing, on top of Jared with an oomph. “It has nothing to worry about but let me assure it anyway.”

They forget all about the butt plugs until Jared flips them over and lands Jensen smack on top of the colourful display. The oddly shaped bruises over his back the next couple of days are almost worth it for all the kissing Jared does to make up for them.

-------------

Day One – Tuesday – Dark pink - 5 inches long, 0.75 inches wide, 3 inches around

The first day is weird. Jared hadn’t really realized how much time they actually spend sitting. He’s squirming in the make-up chair, squirming in the Impala, squirming on those ridiculously high chairs they use between takes that even make his long legs dangle. Jensen keeps throwing him glances, the look on his face changing from amusement to sympathy to worry to lust, only to start all over again. When lunch break finally comes around he grabs Jared by the arm and pulls him off to his trailer, locking the door behind them before attacking Jared with kisses hard enough to sting his lip.

“You’re driving me crazy you know that? Fuck.”

“I’m driving you crazy? Do you have any idea what it’s like having this thing in my ass?” Jared gasps as Jensen latches on to his collarbone, sucking it fervently. “I’m gonna come in my pants, man. God, please, just…”

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Jay.”

Sam’s pants are down around his ankles within seconds and all he can do is lock his knees and lean up against the wall as Jensen takes him in his mouth. “Jesus, fuck!” It’s too hot and too wet and… Jensen reaches behind him and nudges the plug and Jared comes embarrassingly fast. Jensen groans around his cock as he swallows then stands up quickly and undoes his own fly, pulling out his cock and jerking it frantically.

“No, wait. Let me.”

But it’s too late; Jensen’s already coming with wide eyes, shuddering as the white spilling coats his fingers.

“Oh wow.”

Jensen blinks up at him. “You can say that again.”

“Eight more days of this.”

“Oh god. I’ll never survive.”

Jared nods, numb, then gasps as Jensen reaches again behind him and pulls on the plug. “Wha- What are you doing?”

“You’ve got to refresh the lube, man. Or you’re gonna be sore like hell.”

“Uh. Ok. Wait.” He stumbles over to the small couch and let’s himself fall down, butt in the air, pants still around his ankles. “Slowly.”

“Christ. Look at you.”

Jensen is breathing heavily and when his hands stroke down Jared’s back and over his cheeks before parting them gently, Jared almost says ‘Screw the plan and get your cock in there’ even if he’s suddenly so tired his limbs feel like lead.

He winces slightly as the plug is pulled out and then promptly falls asleep until he feels warm hands on his ass and … Holy shit! Cold!!

“Gah! Jensen!”

“Next time don’t keep the lube in your jacket pocket, Jare. It’s cold outside.”

“Next time wake me up before you shove your fingers up my ass!”

“Still just one.”

“Oh god.”

He holds his breath as Jensen pulls out and then the familiar shape of the plug is being pushed into him again. Nngh!

“I swear, Jare, you’re gonna be the death of me.”

“Not… Not if I die first.”

Day Two – Wednesday – Purple - 3.5 inches long, 1 inches wide, 3 inches around

The purple one takes some more maneuvering getting in but finally Jared just lets it stand on the toilet seat and lowers himself on it. It’s… oh wow. Again cold and very intrusive, but it’s not so much bigger than the dark pink one and after a few deep breaths Jared nods to himself, “I can do this. No problem.”

He stands up, quickly catching the base off the plug with his hand as it threatens to slip out. Ok, so maybe he went a little overboard with the lube but he’s read gay porn. More is always better. He pulls the tight boxer briefs up with his left hand and then carefully slides his right one free before straightening his knees and taking a few careful steps.

Kim had asked him yesterday if he was feeling alright since he was ‘kinda walking like a duck’. And then he’d grinned and winked while Jared stood blushing and stammering. So no more duck-walking. The base isn’t that big, he can squeeze his thighs together. Too bad it’s not Jensen who’s stuck with the butt plugs. He’s bowlegged anyway, no one would notice.

He’s finishing buttoning his jeans when Jensen honks his horn outside and bending down in a hurry to pull on his boots Jared yelps and loosens his balance as the plug nudges his prostate. Oh God. So that’s what the odd shape was for. He shoves his feet into sneakers instead, not bothering to tie his laces but just shuffling his way out and down the stairs. Jensen is waiting for him in his tiny Honda and suddenly the thought of sitting down is a little overwhelming. Jared stops outside the door, one hand on the handle.

“Hey, you okay?”

“I’m… yeah.” He takes a deep breath and opens the door then carefully lowers himself down on the seat. “Jesus!”

“Jare?”

“Just… drive carefully.”

Jensen gives him a worried glance but puts the car in gear and swings away from the curb and right into a pothole.

“Nngah!”

“Sorry! Sorry!”

“It’s… alright.” Breathe, breathe.

“Jared, this is stupid. Let’s go back and you can take it out and we’ll just forget about this.”

“No!” He shakes his head, face flushed. “I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“You’re hurting.”

His laughter is almost hysterical. “I wouldn’t quite call it that.”

Jensen frowns and then glances down into Jared’s lap. “Oh.” A grin spreads across his face. “So how close are you?”

“About… about one more pothole.”

“Want me to find one?”

“No! Yes. No! Oh God.” Jared frantically pulls down his zipper as he flips open the glove compartment, shuffling around tapes and CDs and road maps. “Please tell me you have some tissue.”

Jensen bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard that when they suddenly hit a red light he has to slam down on the brakes and Jared shoots his load right into the glove compartment and all over Jensen’s Kane CD.

Somehow it seems fitting.

Day Three – Thursday – Red - 5 inches long, 1.25 inches wide, 4 inches around

The red one or magenta or whatever the fucking color is called stands on his dressing table, looking about as inviting as a hot poker. Jared gives it a glance every time he walks by. First to the bathroom to take a shower, then back into the bedroom to put on his underwear. Then into the bathroom to brush his teeth and hair and back into the bedroom to pick out jeans and a t-shirt. Then back…

Oh fuck it.

He grabs the phone and flips it open, hitting #2 on speed dial. If this isn’t the most awkward thing in the world. “Hey. Hey, it’s me. Are you…? You think you can…? I was wondering…”

“You need help, Jay?”

“Uh… yeah. Please?”

“I’m on my way.”

They end up twenty minutes late to work but Jared figures it’s worth Eric’s scowls. At least this way he keeps from soiling Jensen’s car and he got a chance to practice further that whole blowjob thing. He’s getting better but ‘practice makes perfect, man,’ as Jensen keeps telling him, rather short-breathed. Which again makes Jared wonder how much practice Jensen’s had, but he knows better now than to voice his thoughts.

The morning goes by too slowly, their lunch break is far too short and by late afternoon Jared is thinking maybe getting these things in different shapes as well as colors wasn’t such a good idea. Those beady curves… If anyone notices Sam’s uncharacteristic way of shoving his right hand into his pocket all the time, they don’t mention it even if Dean does seem to stare a bit too much at his little brother’s crotch.

Then comes the fight scene.

If he thought sitting and walking was hard… Getting slammed into a wall and then dropped to the floor with a plug up his ass is a little like he imagines being fucked hard by Jensen is gonna feel like. Except hopefully there won’t be quite as many people watching.

“Jare, Jare, you alright?”

Jared blinks his eyes, gasping for air, and looks up at Jensen staring down at him, all frowns and worry.

“You hurt? Did he slam you too hard? Jay, say something.”

Jared looks around in shock. There are people all around, their concerned eyes on him, and he feels his face go red. “I…” He swallows and then locks big pleading eyes with Jensen’s and whispers, “I came in my pants.”

Jensen stares at him, not breathing for what seems like an eternity. Then he licks his lips and stands up, pulling Jared up with him. “Boy here needs a few minutes to clear his head. Okay, Eric?”

Eric nods, seeming relieved that his main star isn’t seriously injured although really, it hadn’t been that hard, had it? Maybe he hit the wall at the wrong angle?

As Jensen leads Jared off set and toward his trailer Jared can’t keep in the giggle even if he’s still gasping for air. “Clear my head?”

“Never said which head, did I?” Jensen answers with a thick voice that has Jared hard all over again. “Now let’s go clean you up.”

“I need to start bringing a whole bunch of extra underwear to work,” Jared groans and hopes with all his heart Eric cut out that scene with Sam riding a bike.

Day Four – Friday – Green - 5 inches long, 1.5 inches wide, 4.5 inches around

Seriously, who makes a green butt plug? Who buys a green butt plug, except for someone who thought it would be funny to have all the plugs of different color? It looks like a fucking Christmas tree, except it’s not as sparkly, there are thankfully no lights and no one ever tried to put a fucking Christmas tree up their ass!

“Maybe you should take a break, Jare. Just for one day.”

“No. I’m… I’m alright. How many fingers?”

“Two. But you’re really red and swollen and… ow!” Jensen pulls out his fingers and shakes his hand. “Christ, you could crack nuts with your ass!”

“Better not stick them in there then!”

“Funny. I meant real nuts. Like walnuts or something.” Jensen’s voice sounds slightly distracted as if he’s actually contemplating making a Waldorf salad with Jared-cracked nuts.

“Can we stop talking about nuts and get that green ugly thing up my ass?”

“What? Yeah. Hang on.”

Jared groans as Jensen pushes his fingers back in, now with even more lube. He figures they should be buying stocks in KY for all the money they’ve spent on it lately. “Oh God.”

Jensen slips out his fingers and then the blunt tip of the plug is pressing in. “Relax.”

“I am relaxing! I’m… Jesus!”

“You’re Jesus?” Jensen deadpans. “Pretty sure they didn’t nail him there.”

“Not. Funny!”

“Man, butt plugs sure kill your sense of humor. Ok, it’s in. Can you sit up?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Wait.” Jared pushes himself up with straightened arms until he’s on all fours, then slowly sits back. “Oh God.”

Jensen comes around the bed and stands in front of him, grabbing Jared’s shoulder to steady him. “Too much?”

He has to take a few deep breaths before he can answer, “No,” which is a lie but he’s not backing out now. His ass is stretchable, right? He can do this. “I’m okay.”

“You’re a horrible liar, you know that, Jare?”

“I’m o… I will be okay. Just… need to adjust.” He closes his eyes and slowly leans further back until he’s resting on his heels, head thrown back. Breathe. “Did you know the biggest penis in the animal kingdom belongs to the blue whale and is almost seven feet long? Bet there aren’t many gay whales.”

“Did you know that when you sit like that you look so fucking hot I wanna fuck my fist and come all over your fucking chest?”

“Yeah?” Jared laughs shakily and opens one eye to shoot a glance at Jensen. True, he is looking quite flushed and it may not be seven feet but the bulge in Jensen’s pants is still very impressive. “Do it then. C’mon, Jen. Pull out your cock and let me watch you.”

“Christ, Jare.” Jensen rips down his zipper and has his cock out within seconds, jerking it frantically.

“Yeah, that’s it. Wanna see you come.” Jared groans and pushes his ass down into the mattress. “Wanna see you shoot your load all over me.”

“Gonna. Be. The death. Of me,” Jensen pants, stumbling closer as his hand moves faster.

“Nuhuh. Gotta hold on five more days, Jen. Not allowed to die until after you’ve fucked me.”

“Shut up. Shut- ungh!” Jensen throws his head back, biting hard down on his lip as he comes with a shudder. “Fuck!”

“Aaww. That’s not my chest, Jen. That’s the damn floor,” Jared points out with a pout and wiggles his ass a little. It’s feeling better already. His cock, however, is feeling very neglected. “How long we got? I’m dying here, Jen.”

Jensen raises his head, looking dazed with come dripping off his fingers and his jeans slowly slipping down his thighs. “Just… gimme a minute.”

“A whole one?” He sighs as the only answer he gets is a groan and then Jensen is disappearing into the bathroom, holding up his pants with one hand while trying not to touch anything with the other one.

Man, its hard work to be de-virginized. Pun totally intended.

Day Five – Saturday – Orange - 5 inches long, 1.75 inches wide, 5 inches around

“What? Are you kidding me?”

Kim looks at him with a frown. “Why? You can swim, right?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m just…” Jared shifts from one foot to another, holding his breath as the orange plug shifts within him.

Kim pats him on the back and gives him a reassuring smile. “You’ll be fine.”

Jensen rolls his eyes and jabs an elbow into Jared’s side. “What you complaining about? All you have to do is jump in and swim around a little. I gotta hold that kid and be fucking dragged down with him in my arms. If anyone should be freaking out it’s me.”

“I know, I know! I’m just…” Jared swallows and glances around before leaning down to whisper into Jensen’s ear, “What if it slips out?”

“You’re not gonna be naked, Jare. Didn’t you listen? They’re gonna dress us up in these wetsuits…” Jensen stops. “Oh shit.”

Oh shit? ‘Oh shit’ does not sound good. “What?”

“When I say ‘they are dressing us,’ I mean they are dressing us. As in stripping us down to our underwear and helping us pull the damn things on. No way you can hide that plug wearing only your boxers! Not unless you tell them you’ve got massive hemorrhoids.”

“Oh God!” Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Think!

“Guys! They’re ready for you!”

“Oh! God!” Panic! “Jensen, help me!”

“Ok, wait. Let me think.” Jensen bites his lip then looks up with wide eyes. “Right. Say you have to go to the bathroom. Just pull it out and we can put it back in when we’re done.”

“Okay, okay.” Jared gives Kim a wave and then turns to stalk over to his trailer. “You tell him. I’ll be right back.”

Ten minutes later he’s standing more or less naked and shivering with goosebumps all over his skin. “And these suits should keep us from freezing our asses off?”

“Yep. It’s not really that cold but you’ll be in there for some time so…” The diver shrugs. “Okay. Step in.”

The suit is tight and feels weird against his skin. But Jared soon forgets all about that as he hears Jensen cursing beside him and Jared looks over to find him wearing nothing but his boxers and the lower part of his wetsuit, back and sleeves dangling behind him as he tries to tug the suit further up his ass.

“Dude, this is freaking weird.”

Jared can’t do anything but stare. He’s always liked watching those underwater shows on Discovery Channel but until now he’s been more focused on the creatures than the divers. Sharks and dolphins and those fishes that look like they just stepped off the Gay Parade. However… Jensen in a wetsuit? Fuck the fish.

Jensen looks up at Jared with a frown when he doesn’t answer, a frown that turns into a slightly panicked look when he realizes Jared is staring with his mouth hanging open.

“Dude!” he hisses with a glare. “There are people!”

Jared blinks. “What? Where?”

“Around! Get your damn dick under control!”

“My di-?” Jared looks down. “Oh.”

Just then the diver comes back and Jared busies himself with pulling on Sam’s clothes while Jensen gets help getting the rest of the suit on. By the time they’re both dressed Jared’s hard-on has subsided considerably and he manages to walk relaxed for the first time in days.

Jensen glances up at him as they walk down to the lake. “How you feeling? Or, more specifically, how’s your ass feeling?”

Jared frowns, clenching experimentally. “Kinda empty. It’s weird.” He was starting to get used to having something up there. “I think I miss it.”

Jensen grins. “Don’t worry; we’ll put it back in as soon as we’re done with this.”

“Uh…yeah, about that…” God, Jensen’s going to think he’s a complete idiot. “I’m sorry, Jen, but…”

Jensen stops and grabs Jared’s arm, forcing him to stop. “Don’t say that. It’s okay, Jay. I told you, if you ever wanted to stop…”

“It’s not that.” Jared blushes and bites his lip. “I kinda dropped it.”

“Dropped it?”

“Yeah. In the toilet.”

Jensen laughs and shakes his head. “Dude, we’ll just wash it.”

“Yeah, except then I accidentally hit the flush button as I was getting up and… Think I’m gonna have to use your toilet from now on. Well, that or get someone to unplug the damn thing and then explain what an orange butt plug is doing in my pipes.”

Jared glances at Jensen through his bangs, his face red with embarrassment. Jensen just stands there, staring at him and then just as Jared thinks this is it, he’s finally repelled Jensen with his stupidity, Jensen bursts out laughing, practically doubling over and holding his stomach as he gasps for breath.

“Jen?”

“Oh God! You… Orange… In your pipes!” He grabs Jared’s arm to help holding himself up. “Jesus, my stomach. You’re killing me!”

“It’s not that funny!”

“It is! Oh God!”

“You won’t be laughing when I come rushing to use your toilet after our usual Thursday burritos.”

Jensen’s laughter cuts off abruptly and his eyes widen in panic. “No!”

Now it’s Jared’s time to smile. “Oh yes.”

He walks ahead, grinning like an idiot, leaving Jensen groaning behind him. Serves Jensen right, laughing at him like that. Although Jared should probably tell him about the onion soup he had for lunch…

Day Six – Sunday –White - 6 inches long, 1.75 inches wide, 5 inches around

“Morning.”

“Mmmm…” The smell of coffee and waffles slips into Jared’s nostrils and he smiles lazily, stretching on the bed. “I like sleeping at your place. Much better room service.”

“Yeah?” Jensen smirks and crawls onto the bed until he’s hovering over Jared, only inches between them. He’s got his glasses on and Jared wants to lick him all over. “It’s not free, you know.”

“No? I gotta pay you, Ackles? How much for a cup of coffee and a blowjob?”

“Dude, you’re supposed to give me a blowjob. I made the waffles, man.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jared grabs Jensen by the shoulders and flips him over without warning. “Coffee, waffles and your dick. Breakfast of Champions.”

“Better believe it.”

…..

“Ain’t coffee supposed to be hot?” Jared shouts toward the bathroom and wrinkles his nose as he takes a sip and swishes to liquid in his mouth. Dean and Jensen might not care what their coffee’s like as long as it’s black and strong enough to make the spoon stand up straight but Jared likes his the right temperature and preferably with cream and cinnamon.

Jensen’s head pops in, giving him a stern look. “Not my fault you give the slowest blowjobs ever.”

“I’m sorry, was that a complaint? Please take it up with my instructor who happens to be… Oh. You!”

Jensen rolls his eyes, biting down the smile, and disappears from view again. “You can lead a donkey to the water but you can’t force it to drink,” he singsongs over the rush of water as he turns on the shower.

“What’s that? Blowjob Zen? And did you just call me an ass?” Talking about which… “Dude, did you take my bag out of your car?” Jared asks as he swings his long legs over the edge of the bed.

“It’s in the hall.”

Jensen is still shampooing his hair when Jared opens the large cubicle and steps in behind him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Jensen throws him a soft smile over his shoulder that makes Jared’s heart skip and all the fluffy love songs in the world pop into his head. “Come to wash my back?”

Jared returns the smile and runs his hands over Jensen’s hips before lacing his fingers over the flat stomach, pulling Jensen closer. Jensen tilts back his head and Jared nuzzles into his neck, nibbling on his collarbone.

“Well, I was gonna blow you but we already did that so…” Now he thinks about it he’s been blowing Jensen quite a lot lately. “Hey, I must be, like, an expert by now. Practice making perfect?”

“I don’t know…” Jensen grins and reaches over his shoulder to pull Jared down for a quick wet kiss. “There’s always room for improvement.”

“Ha! You just like me on my knees.”

“Well, there’s that.”

They stand together for a while, letting the warm water wash over them. Jared can feel his tense muscles loosening up, aches and bruises from a week’s worth of shooting letting go of his skin and surrendering to the soothing heat. He kisses Jensen’s shoulder. “I like this.”

“Yeah,” Jensen nods his low voice barely audible over the rush of water.

Jared swallows then kisses Jensen right behind his ear. “I like you.”

He can feel Jensen’s stomach muscles tense briefly under the palms of his hands before relaxing again as he sighs, “Yeah.”

Jared moves to the back of Jensen’s neck, licking the water running down from his hair before sucking a kiss onto the soft skin. “I think….” He hesitates then takes a deep breath and continues, “I think I might be in love with you.”

This time the pause is longer and Jared is starting to pull away when he finally hears, “Yeah.”

“Yeah?” He holds his breath.

“Yeah, me too.”

Jared feels the air rush out of him with sudden relief, making him feel lightheaded and dizzy. He slumps forward, burying his face in Jensen’s wet hair. “Okay.” His breath hitches slightly and he squeezes his eyes shut against the water running down his face and Jensen turning to look up at him.

“Hey…”

God, he is a girl. “I’m sorry. Fuck. Just ignore me, I’m being an idiot.”

“No. No, you’re not, Jared.”

Jared opens his eyes, blinking to get the water out of his eyes. Jensen is looking at him, soft eyes and smile, water running down from his hair and over his freckled skin. If Jared were a poet he’d say Jensen looks like a nymph or a merman or possibly one of those elves in Lord of the Rings. Orlando Bloom maybe, except for the pointy ears and the blue eyes and the white hair… okay, not an elf then. But utterly unworldly nonetheless.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that? I just… Sometimes I look at you and I can’t breathe.”

Jensen blinks in surprise and then he’s looking away, a blush spreading up his face and down his chest. “Jare…”

“No. Just… let me… I need to say this, okay?”

“I don’t…” Jensen is shaking his head but Jared envelops it in his hands, holding Jensen still, forcing him to hold his gaze.

“You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you’re so goddamn talented you fill me with awe. And I know there are things you’re not telling me but I don’t care, whatever it is, tell me or don’t tell me, whatever you want. I’m here and I want you and if you tell me you used to be a woman called Jenny I’ll still want you. Or that you used to model for twinky porn or had sex with Tom or have a kink for spanking, doesn’t matter, okay?”

Jensen stares at him. Then a smile splits his face and he starts laughing, shaking his head before grabbing Jared by the neck and pulling him down for a deep soft kiss.

“Christ, you’re the weirdest guy I’ve ever known,” he chuckles against Jared’s lips. “How the hell did I manage without you?”

“I’m not weird. I’m weird?”

“Good weird. Great weird.” Jensen grins and tilts his head. “Seriously? A woman? Twinky porn?”

“Dude, those cowboy pics? Seriously gay. And… You’ve got freakishly long lashes, man! Not to mention those lips!”

Jensen nods. “Made to suck cock, right?”

His voice is calm but the smile has gone stilted and Jared wants to smack his own head and then go smack whoever is responsible for fucking up Jensen like this.

“No, you moron. Made for kissing.” And then Jared bows his head and proves his point.

They kiss until the water starts to go cold and then Jared drags Jensen out of the shower, grabs a couple of towels and pulls Jensen with him into the bedroom, never letting go of his lips. He’s getting light headed but he doesn’t care, he never wants to leave Jensen’s mouth ever. He rubs Jensen dry with the towel, his shoulders and his hair, still never stopping the kissing. He’s patting Jensen’s back and ass with the towel when Jensen finally pulls away, gasping for air and swaying on his feet.

“Jesus, Jay! You… uhuh.” He stumbles and Jared grabs him by the waist then pushes him down on the bed, lowering himself on top of him.

“God, you taste so good, Jen.” He nibbles at Jensen’s collarbone again – God, he loves that spot - then moves down to his right nipple, sucking it into his mouth. “Wanna lick you all over.”

“Okay, yeah. Yeah,” Jensen breathes, still looking dazed and slightly disoriented. “Yeah, Jare.”

The other nipple, sucking and then worrying it with his teeth. “Wanna kiss every fucking inch of you.” Licking down Jensen’s belly, swirling his tongue in the golden treasure trail. “Wanna suck your cock and lick your balls and fuck your ass with my tongue.”

Jensen’s hips jerk on the bed, slapping his cock into Jared’s right cheek. “Oh God.”

Jared growls low in his throat and splays his hands over Jensen’s hips, holding him down. Then he licks up Jensen’s cock, all the way to the tip before sliding his lips over the head. All that practice is really coming in handy. He wraps his tongue around the head, circling it until Jensen is whimpering and slamming one fist into the mattress, the other wrapped around the railing in the headboard. Then he lets go, kissing the tip before moving down to lick around Jensen’s balls and further down, pushing up his thighs without ever lifting his tongue from Jensen’s hot skin.

Even a long hot shower can’t take away the musky and forbidden taste. Jared pulls back to lick his lips and give Jensen a quick glance before pushing his thighs even further up and thrusting his tongue inside.

“Oh God! Fuck. Yeah, oh... Jay, please. Please… Nngh! Right. There. Yes!”

Ok, obviously Jared’s not the only one who goes insane with babbling when his ass is being tongue fucked. He should have tried this ages ago! He has to hold tight to Jensen’s thighs, forcing them apart as they try to crush his head. Jensen’s rigid and practically sobbing with short gasps. He sounds remarkably much like Sandy when she’s just about to…

“Uhngah!” Jensen shakes and claws at the sheets, finally grabbing Jared by his hair and forcing him away when he can‘t stand it any more. “Oh God.” He melts into a bag of skin and bones, sucking in air like he’s drowning.

“Yeah?” Jared runs his fingers through his hair and grimaces when he comes away with a handful of come. “Dude, you came in my hair.”

“Don’t. Care.”

Jensen’s eyes are closed and Jared crawls up on the bed to kiss his eyelids, his nose and finally his lips, licking his way inside. “Can you taste yourself? So damn good.”

“Weird. You.”

“But good weird.”

“Definitely good weird.”

Jared smiles and pulls the cover over both of them, throwing one leg over Jensen’s hips and an arm over his waist. He licks the trail of sweat from behind Jensen’s ear and sighs in content before nuzzling into his neck. “Nap?”

But Jensen is already asleep.

-------

“Think the break did you good.”

“Yeah?” Jared squirms on the bed, trying to ignore the coldness of the lube and concentrate on the warmth of Jensen’s fingers. “Not going tight again?”

“You’ll never not be tight, Jare. I swear, your ass is like a vise. You could capture criminals by letting them fuck you and then just… clench.”

“I’ll keep that in mind in case this acting thing falls through.” The chuckle is strangled by a moan when Jensen curls his fingers inside him. “Oh God! Do that again.”

“Like that?”

“Mmmm, yeah. So good. So...” Another moan swallows his words and he bucks on the bed. “Fuck, Jen.”

“Soon.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Jesus.” He bucks again, slipping one hand between his stomach and the mattress, gripping his cock. “Jen, we don’t need all nine. This one is enough, right? I… Fuck, I can’t wait three more days.”

“Yes, you can.” Jensen’s heavy breathing is in contrast with his calm words.

“Fuck.” Jared doesn’t know whether to thrust down into his hand or back against Jensen’s fingers. “How… How many now?”

“Three.” Jensen groans and twists his fingers inside him. “Barely. You’re crushing me, man.”

“Three’s plenty. Three’s enough. More than enough. C’mon, Jen.” Jared pushes back, driving the fingers deeper inside and Jensen hitches his breath.

“Jesus, you’re driving me insane. Ok, tomorrow. You wear this one tonight and whichever I pick tomorrow and tomorrow night… I promise.” Jensen breathes into his ear, curling his fingers again inside him. “No more plugs, just me.”

“Tomorrow?” A shudder runs through him at the thought. The plugs are one thing. A warm thick Jensen-cock on the other hand… Oh God, yes! “I can… I can wait until tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

Jensen pulls his fingers out, flexing them with a grimace before reaching for the white plug. It’s strange feeling something cold and hard inside him again after the short break. It goes in smoother than Jensen’s fingers even if each curve of the bubbles make him hitch his breath and squeeze his eyes shut even tighter.

“You alright?”

He nods, face hidden in the crook of his arm. It doesn’t hurt, none of them actually have, it’s just weird and slightly uncomfortable as his body adjusts. He can feel Jensen sit back behind him, wiping his fingers on the sheet, and then there are warm hands running up his thighs and stroking over his ass before moving up his back. He shivers and turns his head to watch Jensen over his shoulder. There’s a dark look in his eyes and once again Jared is left wondering what’s going on inside that pretty head.

“Jen?”

“Fuck, you’re so…” Jensen swallows and shakes his head, eyes roaming over Jared’s body. “I wanna fuck you. So bad. Don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything so much in my whole life.”

Jared smiles even if his heart is going at a million miles per minute. “More than you wanted to play Sam?”

Jensen glances up at him, the heavy lust in his eyes briefly making way for amusement. “Dude, Dean was always the better part. He gets the chicks, he gets the funny jokes and he has the Impala.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “And Sam has Dean.”

Jensen holds his gaze and Jared feels for a moment like he’s falling. As though if he wasn’t already lying down he’d be dropping to his knees, too weak to keep himself upright.

“Yeah. He does.”

Jensen sits back and pulls his t-shirt over his head and then he’s lying down in just his boxers, half on his stomach, half on top on Jared, arm around his shoulders, one knee pressed between Jared’s long legs. They lie there, sharing a pillow, noses touching, breathing in each other’s air. Jensen is watching him, eyes occasionally roaming to Jared’s cheeks, his nose, his hair but always coming back to his eyes. Dark and searching and so very serious it makes Jared’s heart speed up.

For all of Jared’s love for sappy comedies (Sleepless in Seattle makes him cry every single time) and romance, Jensen’s silence is making his eyes blink too fast and the urge to reach out with his tongue and playfully lick Jensen’s nose is becoming almost unbearable. Anything to break the heavy silence and make Jensen smile again. As Jensen’s hand slides over from Jared’s shoulder blade and into his hair he’s half a second away from saying something stupid and is thankfully saved by Jensen tilting his head and kissing him. It’s tender and slow with soft lips and a warm tongue just slipping inside for a moment and then Jensen is pulling back, eyes back to watching him silently.

Finally Jared can’t hold back anymore and he nudges Jensen’s nose with his own. “Hey.”

There’s no reaction for a long time and then Jensen suddenly says, “My first time was bad. I mean, bad. As in, it can’t get any worse.”

Jared blinks and then it hits him and he sucks in his breath. “God! Jen-” but Jensen shakes his head and Jared swallows down the words burning on his tongue.

“Didn’t do anything for years after that. Just, you know, girls. But… then I met someone and it was ok. Not good but not… you know. And then he left and I kinda…” He shrugs. “I guess what I’m saying is… I’ve done stuff I’m not proud off with people I couldn’t care less about. But this… I want this to be good. For you. For both of us. So… Yeah. I want you, so bad, but I want to do it right. Ok?”

Jared stares at him. His eyes are burning and his throat hurts so bad that when he replies, “Ok,” it comes out strangled and shaky. He has to fight to keep Jensen’s gaze, to not look away because it hurts so damn much to see the pain and worry there, but hell if he’s going to be that kind of man. He still feels he has to say something but he has no idea what. ‘Sorry’ seems so inadequate. What the hell will that do to help? ‘I will never hurt you like that,’ is even worse because Jensen already knows that and it really doesn’t say anything.

“How old were you?” he finally says because he just has to know, for some stupid morbid reason he can’t explain.

“Seventeen.” Jensen is still calm but there’s a downward twitch to his lips that makes Jared want to punch the wall. “He was a couple of years older. Things… got out of hand.”

“Out of hand? Jesus, Jen, he-”

“I know. Ok? I know. It doesn’t matter.” The calm exterior falters slightly as Jensen’s eyes flicker away for the first time and then return, seeming uncertain and almost frightened. “Does it? I mean, to you?”

It takes Jared a moment to realize what Jensen’s asking and when it hits him he grabs Jensen by the neck and kisses him with all the passion he can muster, growling out his words between each and every kiss. “Never. Ever. Think. That.”

He turns on his side and wraps arms and legs around the man beside him, pulling him as close as he can and then just holds him entrapped in his embrace, face buried in his neck. A soft shudder goes through Jensen’s body but that’s all. His breathing doesn’t change, there are no tears or muffled sobs, but after a while Jared can feel the muscles relax and the tension slips away. They stay that way for a while longer and then Jared pulls slightly away.

“Jen?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you wanna share stuff like that… Maybe do it when I’m not naked with a butt plug up my ass, ok? I feel a bit stupid.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Jensen gives him a small but genuine smile. “If I’m gonna be pouring my heart out I’d like to have some advantage.”

“Funny man.” Jared nudges him playfully. “So… wanna watch the game? You know, as long as I don’t have to sit on my butt.”

“We can cuddle on the couch?”

Jared grins. “Cuddle? Why, Dean, I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Shut up.” Jensen pushes him off with a smile and sits up, reaching for his t-shirt again. “And you’re not Sam.”

“No kidding.” Jared sits up carefully; hitching his breath when the plug connects with the bed, then slowly reaches for his underwear that’s lying on the floor. “Sam already had lots of gay sex in college. He wouldn’t need any butt plugs to prepare himself for Dean’s dick.”

“Dude! Cut it!”

“I’m just sayin’…”

Day Seven - Monday - ?

Eric was strutting around, wearing nothing but chaps and a cowboy hat. “I’m the director! Hell, I’m the damn creator, boys. If I say I want Sam to be naked, he’s gonna be naked. Strip! And you!” He turned to Jensen. “Where’s your bunny suit?”

“But Dean would never…!”

“I’m the creator! Now jump, wabbit boy! Jump!”

“Wake up. Jare, c’mon.”

“Mmmhmm?” Jared opens one eye. There’s no bunny suit and thankfully no half-naked Eric, only a tired Jensen sitting on the edge of the bed with a cup of coffee and smelling faintly of shower gel.

“Time to get up, man. We’ve got to be on set in an hour.”

“’M up, ‘m up,” Jared mumbles and rolls over onto his back, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “Hey! You had a shower without me?”

“Ain’t got time for shared showers, man.” Jensen throws the covers off him. “C’mon, butt boy.”

“Funny. And, you know, I’m actually capable of sharing a shower with you without it turning into…” Jensen raises his eyebrow and Jared stops. “Ok, maybe not. I’ll be quick.”

“No jerking off!” Jensen calls after him as he stumbles into the bathroom. “Save that for after.”

“I’ll be lightning quick!”

------------

“Which one are you…? Nngh! God!”

“Too much?”

“No. No, it’s-it’s okay.”

He’s breathing heavily, fists clenched and pressed into his eye sockets. He feels stupid, kneeling naked on the bed, butt in air. Wasn’t this supposed to be sexy? For once it doesn’t feel very sexy, just… stupid. And kinda humiliating. Jensen must think he’s a right-

“God, look at you. Fuck, I’m so hard right now if you breathed on me I’d come, just like that.”

And ‘just like that’ he’s rock hard himself and panting for a completely different reason. “Fuck, Jen.”

“Tonight.”

“Oh God.”

“Yeah.”

-----------------------------

They’re in the Impala and Jared’s starting to hate that car, he really is. The seats are too hard, the leather sticks to his sweaty back and thighs and the freaking engine rumbles so much it’s like sitting on a damn vibrator. Seriously, they should let someone do a thorough check-up on the damn thing because this can’t be normal!

“Yeah, Bill sure as hell seems to be hiding something, huh?” Jensen says and taps the steering wheel with one hand. He seems on edge, biting his lip and glancing over at Jared who squirms and looks away. Is he that obvious?

He nods, delivers his own line, “And Bill – the people he loves – are all getting punished,” and tries not to let it show on his face how damn close he is to coming in his damn pants. Seriously! What’s up with this thing?

“So what if Bill did something to Peter?” Jensen is looking straight out the windshield but as he emphasizes the word ‘did’ Jared swears the damn rumbling gets more intense. No, actually the sound is the same but the vibration…

Huh?

He swallows and starts, “What if Bill kill-!” Nnngh! Ok, that is not the engine! THAT IS NOT THE FUCKING ENGINE! “Jesus Christ!”

“Cut!”

“Something wrong, Jared?” Jensen is looking at him with eyes way too wide and innocent.

“What…? Jesus!” He’s gasping, mouthing his words between intakes of air, “What… did… you… do!?!”

“Me?” Jensen blinks and then he pulls his left hand out of his pocket and turns up the palm. “Oh, you mean this?” He lets Jared catch a glimpse of the small remote before turning his hand again, hiding it from view.

“You-!” Jared glances around then leans over, hissing as low as he can, “None of them had… that!”

“You’re not the only one who knows how to shop on the Internet, dude,” Jensen whispers, looking way too smug and Jared kind of wants to punch him except the damn vibration in his ass suddenly goes up even further and all he can do is hunch slightly over and bite his lip as hard as he can as he comes and comes and…

“Oh God!”

“Jared, you okay?” Kim rips open the door; his hand instantly on Jared’s back, rubbing it in worry. “Jensen, turn off the damn engine!”

No one seems to notice the low buzzing sound that continues a few seconds after the Impala goes quiet since everyone’s too busy trying to catch a glance of Jared to see what’s going on.

“I’m… I’m okay.”

“You’re sweating buckets, man. Is it your stomach? Your stomach hurting?”

“Uh…? Yes! Fuck, yes. God, I shouldn’t have eaten that damn hot dog! Oooh.”

Kim sighs and straightens up, glancing around at the crew. “Ok, we take our break early today. One hour, people.” He ducks his head in again, eyeing Jensen. “You get him to his trailer and keep an eye on him. If he’s not better by noon we’re calling it quits for you two today. We’ll do the extras’ scenes and… something.” He shakes his head and sighs again. “I’m just surprised with all the amount of crap you eat that this hasn’t happened sooner.”

“I don’t eat-!” Jared suddenly remembers his supposed stomach cramps and doubles over again. “Oh God!” Ha! And they think he’s a worse actor than Jensen. He’ll show them.

“Jensen! Aren’t you gonna help him?”

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” Jensen gets out of the car and is on Jared’s side within seconds, pulling him up by the arm. “C’mon, Big Jare. Let’s get your ass to the can.”

“Shut up. It’s not funny, jerk.”

“Really?” Jensen smiles reassuringly to the crew as he leads Jared off the set. “Jerk? You’re up for another round already?”

Jared glances around before doubling over again, bringing his lips down to Jensen’s ear. “Think I’ll save what little is left in my dick for when you fuck me in the ass in about an hour.”

Jensen trips, his face turning slightly pink as he chokes on his own breath. “An- an hour?”

“Oh yeah. This awful, awful stomach cramp is definitely not gonna get better soon. Nuhuh. In fact, I think it’s getting worse. You’re gonna have to take me home, man.” Jared slings one arm over Jensen’s shoulder, his face scrunched up as if in pain. “Get me home, put me to bed, take really good care of me.”

“Jesus fuck!”

“No. Not Jesus. Me. You are gonna fuck me,” Jared breaths into Jensen’s ear, letting long fingers slide down his neck and caress his favorite spot on Jensen’s collarbone. “You’re gonna pull out that plug and slick up your cock and just slide it in there, nice and easy. And then? You’re gonna fuck me so hard I won’t be able to sit for a week. Okay?”

He can feel Jensen’s throat contract under his fingertips as he swallows. “Okay.”

“Good.”

---------------

They wait it out in Jared’s trailer, gobbling down sandwiches that Jensen grabbed from the catering tent and washing them down with coffee. Never has an hour gone by so slow. Jensen is pacing the small space, sitting down every now and then to pick up the script for the next episode or flip the pages of Jared’s ratted old copy of Terry Pratchett’s Soul Music. His hands twitch and if Jared weren’t feeling so nervous himself he’d tease Jensen for behaving like a schoolgirl on prom night. Instead he settles down on the couch, closes his eyes and tries not to think about the remote in Jensen’s pocket. Holy crap, that had been something. Why the hell hadn’t he bought all of them like that?

“What time is it?”

Jared blinks his eyes open and checks his watch. “Fifteen more minutes.”

“Christ!” Jensen throws the book down on the small table and stalks to the door. “That’s it. I’m going to tell Kim you’re puking your guts out.” He gives Jared a heated glance over his shoulder. “Go change and meet me at the car.”

He’s out, slamming the door shut behind him before Jared can even open his mouth. He sits up slowly, wincing slightly as the plug shifts inside him, and then stands up. He feels dizzy, from excitement and nervousness, and leans against the wall for a moment before pulling off Sam’s shirt and starting to unbutton his pants. The clean underwear he put on earlier is already damp and he’s half-hard. They’re going to do this. They’re really going to do this.

He stills, fingers hooked in between the buttons of his pants, eyes staring into space, head filled with thoughts that are too fleeting to make sense. Just images of Jensen’s eyes and lips and smooth skin. He can feel warm hands running down his back and cupping his ass and suddenly all he can see is Jensen’s cock. Silky smooth and hard and warm and so goddamn big!

Jared can feel his heart speed up and sweat starts running down his back. He wants it. God, he wants it so much but suddenly he feels nervous, almost scared. Maybe they should wait the extra days? What if Jensen’s right? What if he can’t make it good and it just hurts like hell? What if it ruins everything? What if-?

“Jare, what the hell are you doing? You haven’t even changed yet!”

The loud voice jerks him awake and he stares at Jensen who’s looking at him with a hint of annoyance.

“I’ve been waiting for you at the car, man. Why are you…?” Jensen stops, the irritation quickly changing into concern. “Jay, are you alright?”

“We’re really doing this.” Jared breathes in through his mouth and licks his lips before letting the air slowly out through his nostrils. “Right?” He reaches up and runs one hand through his hair. It’s shaking. “Jen?”

Jensen stares at him and then his face goes soft and he walks over, taking Jared’s hand in his own. “Only if you want to. Okay, Jared?” He tilts his head, watching Jared with those open honest eyes that Sam never gets to see. “You can pull out anytime. Now. You can pull out now if you want to. It’s okay.”

He shakes his head. “No. I want to do this. I do. I’m just…” He lets out another slow breath. “It’s a big step.”

Jensen nods, eyes never leaving him. “I know.”

“I didn’t really get that until now. All the other stuff… We can write that off as friends fooling around but if we do this…” He swallows.

“Yes.”

“That’s why you didn’t want to…before.”

Jensen bites his lip, for the first time looking away, hiding his own vulnerability. “Yeah.”

“But now…”

“Now I do because now I know. Jared…” Jensen looks up at him, eyes again calm and serious. “We’re not just fooling around.”

“No.” Jared blinks. “We’re not.” Then slowly his face splits into a smile. “Dude, we’re boyfriends!”

Jensen chuckles softly. “Yeah, Jare. I guess we are.”

“Well, hell. What are we waiting for? Come on, man.” He snaps the buttons open and shoves down his pants. “Throw me my jeans, will ya? And my t-shirt. And my sneakers.”

Jensen picks up his pants and throws them at him. “What am I, your valet?”

“Nope. You’re my boyfriend.” Jared giggles and gives Jensen a huge smile. “You’re my booooyfriend, and you looooove me,” he singsongs while pulling on his pants, careful not to bend over too much.

Jensen shakes his head, grinning. “Christ, I’m never letting you watch Miss Congeniality ever again.”

“But you love that movie!” Jared snatches his t-shirt out of Jensen’s hands and swats his ass with it. “Oh, does this mean I can call you ‘baby’? And ‘pumpkin’? Ooh, ooh, can we get matching bracelets?”

“You’re such a dork, you know that?”

“Don’t you know? I’m Jared Dorkalecki.” Jacket on, then shoving his feet into his sneakers, not bothering with the laces. “And you’re my Jenny baby.” He laughs, feeling giddy and lightheaded.

“Shut up and get your ass in the car,” Jensen snorts and checks if the coast is clear before beckoning Jared to follow him out of the trailer and across the parking lot.

“Not my ass much longer. Your ass, baby.” Jared hurries after him, one long arm reaching out to slap Jensen’s butt. “All yours.”

“Ok, about that ‘baby’ thing…”

“Babybabybabybabybaby…”

“I still have the remote.”

“Ok, I’m done.”

----------------------------------------

They drive in silence, get out of the car in silence, and ride the elevator up in silence. When they get into Jensen’s apartment Jensen closes the door behind them and then turns to look at Jared. “Ok?”

He swallows. “Yeah.”

“Still sure?”

This time his voice is stronger. “Yes.”

“Come here.”

Jared ducks his head and smiles then walks over and lets Jensen pull him into a hug.

“Remember, any time…”

“Yeah, I know.” Jared pulls away and shoves Jensen playfully. “Now quit stalling and take your clothes off.”

“How about I take your clothes off instead?”

Jared sucks in his breath. “That works too.”

Jensen’s fingers are slightly cold as they flutter against Jared’s skin above his collar before slipping the jacket off his shoulders and down his arms. Jared smiles and toes off his sneakers while Jensen takes his own jacket and shoes off. He catches Jensen’s lips for a quick kiss that deepens as Jensen jerks him forward by his belt, smashing their lips together hungrily. The unexpected force goes straight to Jared’s cock and he whimpers, pushing his hips forward to rub up against Jensen’s hipbone. He can feel Jensen’s erection pressing into his thigh and suddenly he can’t wait to feel it in his hand, on his tongue, pushing into his ass.

“Jen. Jesus!”

“God, I want you so much. Fuck, Jare.”

“Yeah. Yeah, Jen. I want… I want…”

“I know.”

He’s still gasping as he stumbles after Jensen who’s pulling him across the living room and down the small hall toward the bedroom by the buckle of his belt. He trips over the rug in the hall and Jensen catches him with a laugh, warm hands on his shoulder and pressing against his stomach.

“Come on.”

No sooner have they crossed the threshold than Jensen is pulling at Jared’s t-shirt, running his hands up his chest and over his shoulders under the thin material before dragging it over his head. Jared’s hair flops into his eyes and he shakes his head and blows it impatiently out of the way. When he looks up Jensen is staring at him with what looks like awe in his eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so goddamn hot, I can’t think straight.”

Jared laughs shakily. “Do you ever?”

“Not when you’re around.” Jensen spins him so they’re facing the mirrored doors of the closet. “I mean, look at you.”

Jared stares at the pair of them in the mirror. His own face is flushed, red patches spreading down to his chest. His eyes are wide and shimmering, his lips swollen pink. Jensen’s hands are on his hips, strong fingers spread over his hipbones. His chin rests on Jared’s shoulder, dark green eyes watching him. He looks like sin incarnated.

“Look at me? Fuck, Jen, look at you.” He swallows, pulling Jensen’s arms tighter around them. “Beautiful. So goddamn beautiful it shouldn’t be legal.”

He can feel Jensen’s stomach bellowing against his back as he looks away from the mirror. “You’re just saying that so I’ll sleep with you, man.” The words are light but his voice is almost shaking.

“Yeah, of course I am.” Jared turns around and slides his fingers up Jensen’s arms and over his shoulders until he’s enveloping that beautiful face in his hands. “In fact, you’re very, very ugly and Chris is paying me lots of money for just hanging out with you because no one else wanted to. It’s such a bitch but someone’s gotta do it.”

Jensen snorts and tries to look indignant but fails miserably. “Is that right?”

“Oh yeah.” Jared kisses him on the nose and the corner of his mouth and licks the dimple on his chin. “And I’m charging him extra for the sex.” He smiles against Jensen’s lips. “Because it’s such a chore.”

“So how much is it?” Jensen breathes. “For the sex, I mean.”

“Oh, about a dollar for each fuck.” He pulls at the waist of Jensen’s jeans, popping the button and sliding down the zipper as he peppers his lips with light kisses.

Jensen’s breath is getting erratic, his words stuttered. “You’re a very… cheap whore, Jare.”

“Consider it charity.”

He presses his lips to Jensen’s, sucking the lower lip in between his teeth and worrying it lightly before letting go and slipping his tongue into the warm mouth instead. It’s insanely hot and wet and tastes of coffee and tuna.

They go from slow to fast in the blink of an eye, clawing at each other’s clothes, fingers digging into skin and taut muscles, lips sucking wet trails of kisses on every surface as it appears. When they’re naked, save for their boxer briefs, Jensen pulls back, breathing heavily.

“I wanna suck you. Okay?”

“Yeah. Christ, yes.” He swallows and clears his throat. “No need to ask. Any time.”

A smile tugs at Jensen’s lips. “Any time? I’ll hold you to that,” he says and then he shoves Jared so he falls back on the bed before sinking to his knees in front of him. His fingers are warm and trembling slightly as they tug at the waist of Jared’s underwear. “Lift your ass.”

He slips the boxer briefs off as Jared raises his hips, breathing deeply when his cock finally springs free.

“Want the plug out now?”

“No. Not… not yet.” He grinds down on the bed, gasping as the plug goes deeper in. “Can you… I mean…”

“You want me to turn it on?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen reaches for his jeans and retrieves the remote. He gives Jared a smirk and then leans over. As soon as his lips touch the tip of Jared’s cock he pushes the button and the plug starts vibrating. It’s not strong, only at the lowest setting, but it’s enough to have Jared gasping and thrusting into Jensen’s mouth.

“God! It’s so… It’s so good, Jen.”

Jensen looks up at him through thick eyelashes and smiles around his cock then he closes his eyes and wraps his tongue around it. Within minutes Jared’s writhing and moaning on the bed, altering between thrusting into Jensen’s mouth and pushing down on the bed. It’s so much, so damn much and he thinks he might just pass out from the whole thing.

“I’m gonna… Jen, please.”

“Wanna come?”

“No. No, not yet. I want… Come on, Jen. Jesus.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Ok.” Jensen switches off the plug and pulls himself up. “Move further up on the bed, Jare.”

He scoots up until his head hits the headboard, then looks back at Jensen, panting. “Which way? I mean…”

“I wanna see you.”

“Okay. Okay.” He falls back, staring up at the ceiling. His heart is beating frantically in his chest and his palms are slippery with sweat when he runs them down his thighs, unsure what to do with them. “You got… We need condoms, right? And more lube.”

“I’ve got it covered. Just relax.”

He gives a shaky laugh, biting his lip before it turns into a full hysterical giggle. Relax? Right.

Jensen pushes his knees up, parting them gently. “Jared? Okay?”

“Yeah.”

He braces himself as Jensen pulls on the plug, sliding it out of him before putting it on the bedside table. It’s blue and he can see small beads inside. No wonder it felt so amazing. He’s hanging on to that one, no question. There’s that party at Mike’s next weekend…

He sucks in his breath as Jensen suddenly slips slick fingers inside him. He’s sensitive but not sore and he feels himself relaxing as the fingers stretch him more open. After a while he glances down at Jensen who’s frowning in concentration.

“How… how many?”

“Three.” Jensen looks up at him. “That feel good?”

“Yeah.” He hitches his breath. “Very.”

“Good.”

Jensen turns his hand, curling his fingers slightly and Jared gasps out loud, throwing his head back. God, it’s so very far beyond good, the word is almost insulting. In fact it’s so damn wonderful it deserves its own vocabulary. Words like “Nngh!” and “Godohgodohgod!” come to mind.

“Just like that, yeah. So hot, Jare. You’re so fucking hot. I’m gonna make it good for you, I promise.”

“I… I know. Oh Jesus!” It can actually get better than this?

“You ready?”

“Yes. Fuck, yes.”

The fingers slide out of him and he holds his breath as Jensen grabs one of the pillows and shoves it under his hips before scooting closer. There’s the sound of something ripping and he watches Jensen briefly close his eyes as he rolls the condom on his cock. Then he raises his head and looks straight into Jared’s eyes. Jared gazes back, eyes widening when he feels the blunt pressure. It’s nothing like the plugs or Jensen’s fingers or, Jesus, his tongue. It’s hot and insistent and hard and wet and… Oh God!

Jensen slides in, so slowly it feels like it takes forever, like his cock is a mile long. The heat and shape fill Jared up and he’s caught between wanting to push back and push out. When he’s starting to think he’d seriously misjudged the size of Jensen’s dick he feels the cooler skin of Jensen’s balls brush his ass and Jensen stops. He’s blinking, breathing in short pants and Jared suddenly remembers he’s not the only one entering new territory.

“Oh wow. God.” Jensen swallows, eyes rolling back in his head for a moment. Then slowly they focus again and he gazes down at Jared, all attention back on him. “Ok?”

“Yeah.” Jared breathes slowly in and even slower out, licking his lips and fisting the sheets. “Just… wait a moment.”

“Ok.” Jensen leans over and kisses him. Jared’s cock gets caught between their bodies and he sucks in his breath.

“Oh! Wow.”

“Yeah.” Jensen smiles and kisses him again, his breathing erratic. “Fuck, you’re tight, Jare.”

He can’t help chuckling even if he’s having trouble breathing. “I’m Jared the Clencher. I catch criminals with my ass. Consider yourself under arrest, Mr. Ackles”

Jensen laughs and the movement makes Jared gasp. “Oh God.”

“This is just the beginning. Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Jensen raises himself up on his arms and then he’s sliding out carefully until only the tip remains inside before sliding back in. It’s agonizingly good, so good in fact that Jared wants to cry and beg for more but instead he just breathes slowly, allowing Jensen to set the pace. He rocks like that for a while, watching Jared’s face for any sign of discomfort and when Jared’s just about to tell him, ‘Don’t be shy, give it to me, bad boy,’ Jensen pulls back and slams back in.

“Jesus fucking Christ! Nguh!”

He grabs on to Jensen’s shoulder and holds on for dear life as Jensen fucks him deep and hard, intense and dark eyes still locked with his. Jesus, that’s… oh, oh… He’s scrambling with his fingertips, leaving scratches and bruises no doubt on Jensen’s skin. His long legs bounce on the bed and he lifts them up, pushing his heels into Jensen’s ass to get him even deeper. It’s almost too much, it’s…

Jensen huffs and bites his lip, then he shifts on his knees and thrusts forward and holy fucking Jesus, Jared swears he can see stars in front of his eyes. There’s a high pitched squealing sound and he suspects it comes from him but it could just as well be Jensen who’s got his mouth open, gasping for breath.

“Oh God… Jen, I’m-“

That’s as far as he gets before Jensen’s lips are crashing down on his, warm tongue fucking his mouth with what almost seems like desperation. They’re both so slick with sweat Jensen’s chest is sliding over Jared’s, his hands are in Jared’s hair, tugging it almost painfully, and his movements are getting more and more erratic.

“Fuck… You’re so…” Jensen moves from his mouth to his neck, dropping sloppy kisses and breathing puffs of air into his skin. “Jesus! Jare…”

“Yeah… yeah… uh, uh…”

“I’m gonna…”

“Yeah.” He wants to feel it. Feel Jensen loose it inside him. To him. “C’mon. C’mon, Jen.”

“No. No, wait.”

Jensen slows down and Jared wants to hit him until he feels a hand sliding in between their bodies and then Jensen is fisting his cock, hard and tight and…

Oh God, just like that he’s coming. Head thrown back, fists clenching, toes curling, biting his lip so hard he can taste blood.

“Oh… Fuck!”

Through a daze he feels Jensen stiffening before thrusting forward two more times with a strangled cry and then he’s collapsing on top of Jared, raggedly sucking in air, whole body literally trembling. Jared manages to lift one hand and pat him weakly on the back. Jensen is heavy, pressing down on Jared’s already oxygen deprived lungs but he doesn’t care. He’d rather pass out than move. Ever.

He feels Jensen move his head, hot breath on his neck and wet lips sliding over his skin. “You…Jare.”

“Yeah,” he manages, sluggishly moving his arms to wrap them around Jensen.

“Love you.” The words are mumbled into his hair. Quiet. Almost inaudible.

“Yeah. Me too.”

Jensen chuckles tiredly, and Jared feels his soft lips smile against his ear. Time slows down. Jensen’s breathing gets slower and deeper. Jared’s starting to suspect he’s fallen asleep and is wondering if he can reach for the covers and pull them over the both of them when Jensen grunts and slides off him. Jared winces slightly as the now limp cock slides out of him and he feels Jensen instantly stiffen.

“Jare? Did I…? Are you hurt?”

“’M okay. It’s good.”

And it is. He’s sore and tired and drenched in sweat and come and it’s the most wonderful feeling ever. He half-opens his eyes and gives Jensen’s worried face a tired smile and a thumbs-up before slipping back into a semi-coma. He feels the bed dip as Jensen gets up and then the bathroom door is opened and closed. That’s probably a good idea. Jared mentally nods to himself. He should get up and shower and brush his teeth and kiss Jensen until one or both pass out.

He falls asleep.

---------------------------

When he wakes up he thinks for a moment that he’s alone and panic jumps up in his throat. Then he turns his head and finds Jensen sitting in the chair on the other side of the room, watching him. The room is dark and he’s mostly hidden by the shadows.

“He-uhuh.” His mouth is dry and he coughs before trying again. “Hey. Whatcha doing?”

“Watching you sleep.”

“Okay.” He rubs his eyes. His hand is sticky and covered in white flakes. Eeww. “Why?”

“Just thinking.”

Jensen shifts in the chair. He’s dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, bare feet crossed at the ankles, hands resting on his thighs. There is silence for a while and Jared can feel a tingle of nervousness start in his belly. Obviously there’s something up and he has no idea what. Unless Jensen’s regretting the whole thing and…

“Did you break up with Sandy?” Jensen’s voice is eerily calm. Almost cold.

Jared blinks. “Er… Not yet.” He sits up slowly, frowning. “I didn’t wanna do it over the phone and I haven’t had time to go down to LA.”

Jensen nods slowly then throws Jared his cell. “She called me, looking for you. She’s in town. Surprise visit. Got worried when you didn’t answer.”

Jared looks down at the cell in his hand. Six missed calls. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What… what did you tell her?”

“I told her you were passed out in my bed ‘cause I just fucked your brains out.”

Jared freezes in shock and Jensen sighs. “Jesus, Jare! You think I’d do that? I told her you hadn’t been feeling well and were probably knocked out on painkillers. She knew you had to go home so I had to play along with it.”

He gets up slowly, rubbing one hand over his face. “Listen. It’s okay. You don’t have to… This, whatever this is, we can…” He stops and shrugs like it’s nothing.

Oh, so that’s what this is about. Jared shakes his head and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. “Jen, don’t be an idiot. I love you. You.”

Jensen opens his mouth, and then looks away. “Don’t.”

“Don’t? Don’t what?” Jared stares at him incredulous. “Don’t tell you I love you? Screw that. I love you, Jensen. I’m gonna say it all the time now.” He tilts his head, eyes going soft. “I love you, you big oaf.”

Jensen’s eyes shift and he’s looking ten kinds of uncomfortable. “Do you have to…? Christ.”

“Suck it up.” Jared waves dismissively. “You said it to me too so don’t go all Dean on me, man.”

“I was emotional, ok? I just came in your ass.” Jensen blushes but there’s a smile tugging at his lips.

“Such a romantic, Jen.” He rolls his eyes and then gives Jensen a pointed look. “You telling me, you didn’t mean it?”

“No. I’m telling you I…” Jensen visibly squirms. “I don’t do well with saying stuff like that, ok?”

“Ok.” Jared stands up and walks over to Jensen, cradling his head as he pulls him in for a kiss. When they pull apart Jensen’s panting and Jared gives him a huge smile.

“I can say it for the both of us. I love you, Jensen.” He puckers his lips and drops his voice an octave, “Love you too, Jare,” then grins. “See?”

Jensen laughs shakily and Jared kisses him again. “Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna take a shower and then I’m going to call her and go meet her. It will all be okay.”

“Are you gonna tell her? About us, I mean? Because, Jare…” Jensen looks so panicked that Jared wants to squish the fear right out of him.

“No. I’m just going to tell her I don’t see it working between us. I don’t think she’ll be that surprised.” He steps back, face suddenly serious. “But, Jen, if she asks I can’t lie to her. You said it yourself, I’m a horrible liar.”

“Well, I’m stupid. You’re an actor, Jared, you can...”

“It’s not the same. She won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

Jensen rubs his eyes, shaking his head. “Dude, remember Joanna? Broadcasting our sex life all over the damn place. Only reason she didn’t tell people about the fucking strap-on was because she liked it so much herself. How do you know Sandy won’t spill it all?”

“I know. Relax.”

He gives Jensen another deep kiss and a smile before going to the bathroom to shower. He’s still sore and, even if he’s fairly sure he managed to hide it from Jensen, he’s scared out of his mind. He has no idea how Sandy will react. In fact he has no idea what the hell he’s going to tell her. It’s not going to be easy and he has no idea if he can handle it.

He knows one thing though. He’s totally utterly definitely gay.

Or possibly bi.

Not that it matters as long as either option includes fucking and being fucked by Jensen.

fin