Chapter Text
“Aw, baby. I know it hurts. I know you want it to stop. I want it to stop, too. But you know what I want. All you have to do is say it. Just say it, and this will all go away.”
“Fuck you.”
“Come on, Derek. We’ve been playing this game for days. I love you. Don’t you love me?”
“I’d love for you to go die.”
“That’s not very nice. Come on Derek, it’s just three little words. Just three words, and I’ll make it stop. Or you can stay there in silence like that. Actually, I don’t mind the quiet. How about we make a little deal? You say those three little words, and I don’t make you regret it.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Oh sweetie. You’re going to wish you hadn’t said that. And I’m going to enjoy waiting for you to say what I want to hear. Because if you don’t, you’ll never say anything ever again.”
Artwork by Fae~
“Derek!”
Said man turned his head from his position by the door, one hand on Stiles’ lower back. He smiled before turning fully, bending down to catch Rose when she launched herself at him and picking her up easily. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face against his skin and clearly pouting. Derek knew it was likely because she was tired, it was almost midnight. She got overly dramatic when she was tired.
“No, you can’t go! You just got here!”
Derek couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped him at those words, rubbing gently at her back while Stiles laughed softly beside him.
“We’ve been here for five hours,” his boyfriend insisted, reaching up and tugging playfully at Rose’s ponytail. Derek knew she’d turned her pout on Stiles when she shifted in his arms to look at him. Alex was moving through the house to meet them, a fond smile on her face.
“Derek and Stiles need to leave,” she said once she’d reached them, one hand coming up to rub smoothly up and down the little girl’s back while she smiled at Stiles and Derek. “We should all be leaving, it is way past your bedtime.”
“No,” Rose insisted, turning her face back into Derek’s neck and holding on for dear life. Derek let out another small chuckle and gave her a little bounce in his arms.
Alex was still smiling, and it looked like she was trying to resist letting a laugh escape her. “I know, my love,” she insisted, Rose turning her head slightly so she could look at her mother. Alex reached out to brush some dark hair off her forehead, somehow able to resist the nine-year-old’s puppy dog eyes. “But Derek and Stiles are very important people, and they have very important things to do tomorrow.”
Derek was kind of looking forward to that meeting. He knew Stiles wasn’t, given he’d have to do all the talking, and he’d much rather stay home and be a couch potato, but it was for a good cause. It was the only reason Stiles had agreed, and Derek was grateful. He knew Stiles would always agree, because he very rarely said no to Derek, but he still appreciated it.
“We’ll come visit you and spend the whole day. Saturday, okay?” Stiles said to Rose, moving closer to Derek, like he wanted to stay in his space. Derek loved that.
“Promise?” Rose’s sad voice demanded.
“Promise,” Stiles replied, poking at her nose and smiling. Derek loved his smile, it was fucking gorgeous. “You can even hoard Derek all to yourself, I’m getting tired of him anyway.” Stiles winked at her, then cast a glance at him.
Derek pretended to look offended at his words, but he knew it was working on Rose. She managed to smile, and her scent had shifted more towards exhaustion rather than genuine sadness. Derek knew she was only sad because she was so tired, but he much preferred it when she didn’t sound and smell like his departure was the end of the world.
He was likely going to see her at some point tomorrow. Maybe. He wasn’t sure what the plans for tomorrow were barring the visit with the mayor, given it was also the worst day of the year for Stiles.
Derek felt his chest clench for a brief moment at the reminder. It was the day he and Stiles had formally met, but it was also the day Stiles had lost his father. Derek himself had been upset by the news, but he hadn’t exactly had the chance to grieve, and a part of him felt like he hadn’t had a right. It wasn’t his father, even if he’d loved the man dearly.
Mr. Stilinski was an amazing person, a caring man, a loving father. Derek understood Stiles’ grief over his passing, and he knew tomorrow was going to be a difficult day for him. He would be there, though. Like he always was. He would be there for Stiles and just hoped this year was easier than the last.
Derek knew from experience that the pain never went away, it just dulled ever so slightly as the days passed.
He started slightly when Alex pulled Rose from his arms, having lost track of the conversation since he was thinking about Stiles’ miserable day tomorrow. He relinquished her to her mother—still loving that Alex was well and truly her mother now, since the adoption papers had all been signed and approved—and watched Stiles wave tiredly to everyone in farewell.
When they headed out the door, Derek pressed one hand lightly to Stiles’ back, not needing to stick so close, but always happy whenever his boyfriend allowed him into his personal space. He knew it had to be annoying sometimes, but Derek could never get enough of being close to Stiles. He didn’t need to protect him anymore, not really, but that didn’t mean he would stop being all up in his space whenever possible.
They split at the car, moving to either side while Derek unlocked it with the click of a button and climbed behind the wheel. Stiles was probably tired, because he was quiet beside him, but still smiling slightly, lips curled upwards, like he was happy.
Derek was glad. All he’d ever wanted was for Stiles to be happy. He hated that tomorrow was such a confusing day for him, but at least for now, Stiles was smiling.
When his boyfriend suddenly laughed out of nowhere, Derek turned to glance at him, arching an eyebrow in inquiry, but he just got an impish smile in return.
“Don’t worry about it, just had a funny thought,” Stiles insisted with a wink. Derek eyed him for a moment longer, but Stiles didn’t elaborate so he just shrugged it off and turned at the end of the road to head for home.
As long as Stiles was happy, it didn’t matter why. Derek didn’t need to know, so long as the smile never left his face.
Once they reached the loft, Stiles moved a bit more slowly to the door, clearly tired and looking forward to sleep. Derek felt bad they’d stayed so late, but he never knew when to call it quits. Stiles always looked so happy and energetic when they were with the pack and doing fun things together, he didn’t want to cut the nights short and have him miss out on anything.
He’d missed out on enough in his life, Derek didn’t want to be the reason he missed out on even more.
When the door was locked behind them, Derek helped Stiles to the stairs and up them to the loft—he’d never admit that he hadn’t gotten the lights fixed downstairs because he loved the excuse to be close to Stiles for even just a few more second. As soon as the loft door was opened, Stiles bounced away from him and stuck his tongue out while disappearing into the bathroom. Derek rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the small smile that crossed his features while he slid the loft door shut.
Stiles didn’t take long in the shower, maybe about ten minutes. It was clear he just wanted to clean off the day’s dirt and sweat so he was presentable in the morning without having to shower before heading out.
“See you upstairs,” Stiles said when he and Derek switched places, the Werewolf having put Stiles’ pyjamas on the dining table since Stiles had forgotten them in his haste to get to the shower first.
Derek set his clean boxer-briefs on the bathroom counter, then sighed and rolled his eyes again when he found Stiles’ discarded clothes on the floor. He had a bad habit of leaving them there whenever he showered. Derek just stripped out of his own clothes, adding them to the pile so he could bring everything upstairs once he was done.
Turning on the water, he climbed into the still muggy shower and ducked his head under the spray, spitting out water while bowing his head and running both hands through his hair.
He stared at the water while it swirled down the drain, letting out a small sigh and bracing his hands on the tile in front of him, water cascading down over him and shutting his eyes.
I love you.
Derek hated those words. He hated them, because he wanted so badly to be able to say them to Stiles. He wanted him to know how much he meant to him, how much he’d changed him. Stiles didn’t often think about the amazing things he’d done for other people, but they had the ability to show him, to remind him, to thank him.
Jackson had given him that Superman present. Caleb had invited him out for coffee. Diana always made Stiles little ice sculptures that were slowly but surely taking up the entire freezer because Stiles wanted to keep every single one of them.
Everyone had the ability to tell Stiles how important he was to them, how much they cared about him. Derek always tried, and he knew Stiles understood, but it felt so inadequate when compared to how much he’d truly done for him.
Derek hadn’t ever thought he’d have something like this. He’d basically given up when it became clear his own sister couldn’t understand him. Laura had tried. So hard. She’d done everything she could, and was the reason half of the loopholes they knew about existed. But she couldn’t read him like Stiles could.
Nobody could read him like Stiles could.
He’d honestly given up by the time he’d been forced to take drastic measures with Stiles, that day three years ago when his father was killed and Derek had received the phonecall from said man moments before he died. He was going to do what was needed, protect Stiles, keep him hidden and safe, but he honestly hadn’t expected things to be any different.
The first few days had been uncomfortable, and difficult. Stiles hated him, for starters, so that had made things complicated. But even while hating him, Derek could make specific facial expressions, and Stiles just... understood. Nobody else had ever caught on so quickly before, and the more time they spent together, the easier it was.
Derek had spent five years of his life after Kate’s curse thinking nobody would ever hear him again. And then Stiles came into the picture, and the past three years were like he wasn’t even cursed at all.
It gave him a reason to wake up in the morning. A reason to have thoughts and desires, because he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he could express them to Stiles, and he would understand. It was such a relief having just one person hear him, even when he wasn’t saying anything.
Derek knew Stiles felt liked he owed him. He knew Stiles felt like he could never repay him for everything he’d done for him. But it was backwards. Derek was the one who could never repay Stiles for everything he’d done for him.
He hadn’t meant to fall in love with him. He’d been more than happy being friends with him, having him in his life, spending time with him in a platonic sense. Falling for him had been an accident, and he’d honestly never imagined Stiles would ever feel the same way.
How could he, after everything?
But Stiles just kept giving. He gave, and gave, and gave, without even seeming to realize he was doing it. Derek loved him. So much. He loved him with everything he had, he never wanted to be apart from him ever again.
I love you.
He wanted to say those words to him. He wanted him to know, truly know, how much Derek loved him.
But he couldn’t. He could never say them to him. Because Kate had made that an impossibility.
Derek reached up to rub at his throat, chest tightening with an ache he often felt at the thought of how badly he wished he could tell Stiles how much he meant to him. Maybe he’d write him another song. It seemed wholly inadequate when considering everything Stiles had done for him, but it was all he had.
And even that ‘voice’ was something Stiles had given him.
He realized he’d been lingering in the shower and hadn’t even cleaned himself off yet. He didn’t want to keep Stiles waiting, so he didn’t bother washing up and just turned the water back off, sliding his hands back through his wet hair and letting out a slow breath.
Grabbing his towel, he dried off quickly, relieved himself, put on his shorts and brushed his teeth. When he was ready to go, he gathered up their laundry and opened the bathroom door, turning off the downstairs light on his way to the stairs. Once he was in the bedroom, he dumped their dirty clothes in the laundry, then picked up Stiles’ discarded towel and added it to the pile, as well.
Stiles was cocooned in the blankets, like he always was when Derek joined him. As soon as he slid under the covers though, his boyfriend rolled into him immediately, nuzzling into his chest and smiling to himself with his eyes closed. Derek smiled too, shifting to wrap both arms around Stiles and pulling him closer while the other man sighed happily.
Closing his eyes as well, Derek squeezed Stiles just once, face buried in his still damp hair.
I love you.
He released his tight hold on him, but kept his arms wrapped securely around him.
“Night,” Stiles mumbled sleepily into his chest, rubbing his cheek against it, like he was a Werewolf himself and trying to scent him. Derek almost laughed, because it was clear he was on the verge of passing out.
He grunted in response. Good night.
His face was still buried in Stiles’ damp hair, lips pressed against his scalp. He opened his mouth to speak, even as he knew nothing would come out. He could even tell his lips weren’t forming the words he was saying, because the curse was such a fucking bitch that even lip-reading was out of the fucking question.
You’re everything. You mean so much to me, Stiles. You have no idea. I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me. How important you are to me. How amazing you are.
He let one hand slide slowly up Stiles’ back, then down once more. He started rubbing it slowly, knowing that it helped Stiles fall asleep. He always seemed to like the small touches, the little comforts and reminders that Derek was right there beside him. And Derek never got tired of being close to him, so it wasn’t a hardship.
He could hear Stiles’ breathing beginning to even out, his heart rate slowing ever so slightly, proving he was on the verge of passing out.
Derek let his hand slow the tiniest bit. Sometimes, if he rubbed Stiles’ back repeatedly, and then stopped when Stiles fell asleep, he woke up again. Derek had mastered the artform of rubbing his back, keeping track of his breathing and his heart rate to determine when he needed to slow the drag of his hand up and down his spine so that when he stopped, it didn’t wake him again.
Sighing against Stiles’ hair, lips still pressed to his skin, he wondered about how he’d survived so long without this amazing man in his life. How grateful he was to have him by his side. How much he meant to him. How much he loved him.
I love you.
Derek wanted to say the words to him. He always wanted to say the words to him. But he couldn’t, and it hurt that he couldn’t. He hated that he couldn’t.
But he tried anyway, just like he always tried to speak to Stiles, to tell him how much he meant to him.
You’re my everything.
“I love you.”
Stiles nuzzled against his chest again, still this side of awake, and Derek’s hand paused on his back when he said, “I love you too, big guy.”
Too.
I love you too.
Stiles had said ‘I love you too’!
It wasn’t like he hadn’t said that before, with ‘too’ on the end. But it was rare, because Stiles almost always said ‘I love you’ to him first, with Derek being able to show him he meant it back. The few times he’d said he loved him too, Derek had done something that very clearly conveyed what he was feeling.
Stiles was almost unconscious. He’d been passing out beside him, and he couldn’t see Derek’s face. And Derek wasn’t doing anything differently tonight compared to any other night, so why had he said ‘I love you too’?!
It felt like seconds and years passed all at the same time, Derek’s mind going a mile a minute.
Because—had he said that out loud?! But then, if he had, wouldn’t Stiles have reacted? Surely if he had, then Stiles—
Stiles shifted in Derek’s arms, sitting up while looking around the room with a small furrow between his brows. He looked tired, and confused, and when he turned to glance down at Derek, his frown deepened.
“Did you hear that?” he asked, the confusion bleeding into his words.
Did you hear that? he said. Like there was something to hear. Like Stiles had heard something but couldn’t place what it was.
Like Stiles had heard something, and had responded to it automatically, even though it was impossible.
Derek felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Had he actually...? Did those words actually...?
It was impossible. It was impossible!
But then, wasn’t everything about Stiles impossible?
Stiles grunted while slowly rearranging himself so he could lie back down. “So weird. I swear, for a second I thought—”
“Stiles.”
Honestly, Derek was so used to hearing his own voice in his head that he didn’t know if the name had come out at all. Maybe he just thought he’d spoken. Maybe he just thought the words hard enough that Stiles had reacted to them. Maybe he just wanted it to be real.
But the second Stiles froze, about to lie back down, and stared at Derek like he’d never seen him before, he knew.
Stiles’ heart did something weird in his chest, and then started beating double-time. His eyes were wide, his breathing was shallow, and it looked like he thought he’d lost his mind.
“Derek?” he asked, almost hesitantly. As if he couldn’t believe it.
As if he thought he was going insane.
Derek thought he was going insane, too. But he’d said he loved him, and Stiles had heard it. And he’d said his name, and Stiles had stopped.
He sat up, still staring at him. At the one person in the world that he loved more than anything. At the one person in the world he’d wanted to say those words to.
“Stiles,” he said again, because he needed to say his name again. He needed to feel the way it rolled off his tongue, how it sounded out loud, how it felt as the name slid up his throat.
Stiles. The person he loved more than anything in the world. Fucking Stiles!
“Oh my God!” Stiles practically shouted, and that was all the confirmation Derek needed.
This wasn’t a dream. This wasn’t a hallucination. This wasn’t just Derek wishing Stiles could hear him.
Stiles could hear him. Stiles could hear everything coming out of his mouth. Because Derek could speak. Because the curse had broken.
Because Stiles had broken it just by existing.
His hands were on Stiles’ face before he could stop himself and he yanked him forward, crushing their lips together. His heart was slamming in his chest, and he could hardly breathe he was so overwhelmed, but he didn’t care. He kissed Stiles like his life depended on it, even when his boyfriend shoved at him, and eventually started hitting him, trying to get him to back off.
Derek didn’t want to back off. He could speak. He’d told Stiles he loved him! It was the only thing he’d ever truly wanted to be able to say to him, and the words had actually come out of his fucking mouth!
When Stiles’ smacking got a bit more violent, Derek took pity on him and broke the kiss, only for Stiles to slap at him even harder.
“Oh my God! Why are you kissing me?!” he demanded, sounding furious. Like kissing was the last thing he wanted to be doing right now. When Derek shifted closer again, Stiles shoved at him once more, forcing him back as far as he could get him. “Stop kissing me! Oh my God, you can talk! Keep talking! Say something! Fucking anything!” Because he’d managed to put a bit of space between them, it allowed Stiles to roll away from him.
Derek didn’t want that. He didn’t care what Stiles was doing, he didn’t want him rolling away. So when Stiles did so, he followed, crawling right over him and kissing along his exposed shoulder, and his neck, and the side of his face while Stiles struggled to grab his phone.
“Would you stop kissing me!” Stiles shouted while he unlocked his phone and went to his browser. Derek had no idea what he was doing, but he didn’t care, holding him tightly and continuing to pepper kisses anywhere he could. “You’ve been kissing me for months, use that mouth for something else!” The phone was thrust in his face, almost smacking him, but Derek didn’t care. He didn’t care, because Stiles’ next words were the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “Read this! Read this entire thing out loud right now!”
I love you!
He could say it out loud, now. He could say anything and everything he’d ever wanted to say to Stiles out loud now!
He wrenched the phone out of Stiles’ hand and tossed it away without caring where it ended up or if he’d broken it. Stiles was half-twisted beneath him from the attempt to get him to read what he’d pulled up on his phone, so Derek turned him all the way over onto his back and pinned him down on the bed, both of their heads half-hanging off the side from their position.
“God, you drive me crazy!” He grabbed Stiles’ face and kissed him like he would never be able to stop. Because this was Stiles, and he’d always said he could do it. He’d always said he was going to break Derek’s curse. He’d always promised he would get his voice back.
And he had. He fucking had! It was all Stiles.
It was always Stiles.
“I love you so much.” He was going to tell him that so many fucking times, because now that he could, he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to stop! He had to alternate between kissing Stiles to show him how much he loved him, and telling him how much he loved him. It was a fine line, and he mouthed open kisses along Stiles’ jaw up to his ear. “Fuck, Stiles, you have no idea how much I love you. How much you mean to me. How badly I needed you to know.”
Stiles was trembling beneath him, but Derek knew it was because he was overwhelmed. Derek was overwhelmed too, but he couldn’t stop to think about that. All he could do was hold on tight and make sure Stiles knew how much he meant to him.
“Oh my God,” Stiles said again, like he didn’t know what else to say. His arms were around Derek, holding on for dear life, and Derek felt his chest clench for a completely different reason when the room suddenly got entirely too bright.
Because Stiles’ hands were glowing. Because he was happy. Because he was so, so happy.
And Derek was happy, too. Fucking ecstatic.
Because of Stiles.
Because of Stiles!
“I should’ve said it sooner,” Derek said, feeling stupid while he kissed and sucked at Stiles’ neck. He’d loved him for so long. So long! Why hadn’t he just said so?! Why hadn’t he tried before today?
He knew why. Because it hurt. Because he couldn’t say it. Because it was the only thing he’d ever wanted Stiles to know. He knew why, but he hated that he hadn’t tried sooner.
“I’ve wanted to, but it hurt not being able to say it aloud. I needed you to know, I’ve wanted you to know. Fuck, Stiles, you’re everything.”
“Seriously,” Stiles said, voice tight, like he was struggling to hold back his emotions, even while he clung to Derek like he’d die if he let him go. “Can you like, recite your favourite book or something? I swear to God, I need you to never stop talking.” Stiles buried his face against Derek’s neck, tightening his grip. “I need to hear your voice forever.”
Derek couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him then. He felt like it sounded borderline hysterical, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He had his voice back. He could speak. And Stiles...
Stiles was so happy. He was so happy he couldn’t stop shaking. He was so happy his hands were bright enough to blind someone. He was so happy, and he didn’t even seem to realize this was all entirely because of him.
Derek’s voice was back because of him.
Everything good in his life, every single good thing that had ever happened to Derek, it was all because of Stiles.
Everything was because of Stiles.
He loved him so God damn much, he could hardly stand it.
And now, finally, finally, he could say it.
Finally, Derek could say those words to the one person who deserved to hear them the most.
And finally, Stiles knew.
I love you.
True End.