Archive of Our Own

The weather is perfect. I take in a deep breath as I gaze over the valley from the dojo. Today is the day. I’m gonna ask Mao Mao to marry me. Will I end up taking his last name? More than likely. But honestly...I kinda like the sound of Badgerclops Mao. It gives me butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. I pat the pocket on my sash that houses the engagement bracer. I’m about to ask him to marry me. I wiggle in excitement. I can hardly contain myself! Mister Badgerclops Mao. I sigh like a teenage girl thinking about her crush.

How should I pop the question? “Will you make me the happiest badger?” “Be mine?” “We have a kid together and know all about each others emotional issues and I like what we have in spite of that so can we take the next step?” Okay, that last one was a little long winded. I’ll just speak from the heart, I guess. I head back into the living room. Mao Mao and Adorabat are sitting on the couch, watching TV. “Hey, y’all.” I greet. “Hey, Badgerclops.” Mao Mao greets as he polishes Geraldine. “Hi!” Adorabat waves. I smile. Would it be a bad idea to ask here, in the living room. Surrounded by Solifest decorations. The dojo has a nice view. “Hey, why don’t we all go into the-” I start. 

Just then, the monster alarm goes off. Talk about horrible timing! “Everyone, to the Aero-cycle!” Mao Mao proclaims as he lifts his sword into the air and dashes down the poles. Adorabat follows him with gusto. I sigh and follow them. It’ll probably take no time at all, so it’s not a big deal, I guess. 

A little bit later…

WHY THE HECK DID ALL THESE MONSTER DECIDE TO ATTACK ON THE SAME DAY?! We taken down like, six at this point! “Dazzling slash!” Mao Mao yells as he takes down another one. Make that seven to the total. I shoot this next amor lizard monster thing in the face. This is what you get for interrupting my proposal! The armor on his face breaks and Mao Mao goes in for the kill. Adorabat chucks a couple of smoke bombs to give Mao Mao some cover as he approaches the enemy. “GAH!” Mao Mao yells in the smoke. I hear the monster shriek and a loud thud. 

Finally, that took WAY too long. Maybe I can ask him in the glow of our victory? I change my arm into a fan and blow away the smoke. Yep, that monster is SUPER dead. “Good job, y’all.” I congratulate. Mao Mao sheaths his sword. “Yes. It was a long series of battles, but well fought!” Mao Mao says as he clenches his fist dramatically. I snort, what a dork. “Yeah! My favorite part was when the armor broke! It was all like CRASH! And then Mao Mao was all like “Gah!” and it was super cool!” Adorabat says as she does little gestures. Now, back to me asking Mao Mao to be my husband. “So-” I start. “SHHHEERRRIIIFFFF~!” King Snugglemange cries out as he runs towards us. 

Gosh dang it! “Oh sheriff! It’s just awful! There is a horrible disgusting beast in the castle~!” Snugglemange whines. “A beast in the castle?! We’re on it!” Mao Mao says as he rushes to the Aero-cycle. I follow after him, annoyed. Why does everything need to get in my way?! I get on the Aero-cycle behind Mao Mao. Adorabat land on my shoulder as our helmets appear. We blast off into the sky. I hope this beast isn’t to much to deal with. The weather is starting to turn for the worse.

We land in front of the castle. Mao Mao quickly hops off the bike and charges towards the castle doors. Adorabat sticks by me, poor thing is probably getting a little winded, I know I am. Mao Mao kicks open the castle doors. “COME FACE ME MONSTER!” Mao Mao yells out. There’s nobody in the throne room. Mao Mao looks around confused. “Where is it?” He asks. “THERE!” King Snugglemange screams, coming out of nowhere. “GAH! How’d you get here so fast?!” Mao Mao asks. “I’m the king.” The king explains...but not at all? The king points...at the floor. Adorabat, Mao Mao and I all step closer to what he is pointing at and…

It’s a tiny little spider. A spider. Smaller than a chocolate chip. Mao Mao takes out his sword and lays the tip of it on the floor for the spider to crawl on. Mao Mao then steps outside and heads to a nearby bush. “Is this the “beast” you were talking about?” Mao Mao asks as the spider crawls off the sword and into the bush. King Snugglemange nods his head. ...Well, at least it was easy to deal with? “Welp, another job well done. Hey, Mao Mao. Can I talk to you for a sec?” I ask. 

“Sure, Badgerclops. Whats up?” Mao Mao asks. “I was just wondering...huh?” I start. But then suddenly it gets dark. I look up and OH GOSH DARN IT! The Sky Pirates ship is over head! “Sky Pirates!” Mao Mao exclaimed as he rushes to the Aero-cycle. I’m ready to throw a fit! I grumble as I follow Mao Mao to the Aero-Bike. “Badgerclops, why are you grumbling?” Adorabat asks as she lands on my shoulder. I get on the bike with a huff. “I’m just annoyed by the Sky Pirates.” I half explain. 

We reach the deck of the ship and Mao Mao jumps off. I land the Aero-Bike like a normal person because I don’t feel like repairing it later. Mao Mao is already in a sword slash axe fight with Orangusnake. The other Sky Pirates are just watching. I make eye contact with Ramaraffe. “So do we fight or…?” I ask. She shakes her head. “Hosstrich, Ratarang and I aren't really feeling up to it today.” Ramaraffe explains. Oh, neat. “What? No fighting?” Adorabat asks in a disappointed tone. “You are pooped, kiddo.” I point out. 

“I can fight…” She claims as he nods off slightly. “Yeah, but you don’t have to. Just enjoy the break...I guess.” I shrug. I’m still annoyed that I got interrupted for the THIRD time today. Like, geez. Just let a guy ask another guy to be his husband gosh darn it! What’s next?! It rains?!

CRASH!!! Thunder and lighting fill the air as it suddenly begins to downpour!

...This is just homophobic now.

“Ah! It’s cold!” Adorabat whines as she tries to shield herself with her wings. 

Suddenly, Mao Mao takes my hand and tugs me towards the Aero-Bike. I hop on and we fly away from the sky pirates ship, which begins exploding. When did he do that?! The ship goes down with one last explosion and lands with a lame thud. “We’re okay!” The Sky Pirates call. I would make a quip, but I’m too frustrated right now. Mao Mao lands the Aero-Bike back by the castle gates. “Mao Mao, why aren’t we going home?” Adorabat asks. “We should probably see if the king needs anything else.” Mao Mao shrugs. 

“He’d just call you if he did, dude!” I yell. “Yeah, but I’d rather not fly anymore then I need to in this weather.” Mao Mao explains. He’s right, but I’m just too fed up at this point to let it go. “No! Can you please listen to what I was about to say before the Sky Pirates showed up?” I ask. “Can’t it wait until after the king?” Mao Mao asks. “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” I practically scream. Mao Mao nearly jumps. “Badgerclops? What has gotten into you?” He asks. I take Mao Mao by both arms and look him dead in the eyes. 

“Mao Mao, I love you. I love spending time with you. I love everything you brought into my life.” I start. The rain poured harder, but I hear less of it as my heart beats louder. Adorabat walks up to Mao Mao and holds his hand. “I love the changes that have come recently. I want you to understand how much I love this, you, everything.” I explain as I get down on one knee. Mao Mao still seems confused. I reach into my sash and pull out the bracer. “Mao Mao, will you marry me?” I ask. 

Mao Mao eyes go wider than I’ve ever seen them go before. He brings his hand to his mouth. Adorabat gasps and stares at the bracer and then does a double take to Mao Mao. Mao Mao hasn’t responded yet. Does he not like the bracer? D-Did I do this too early? I ruined everything, didn’t I? Oh no, he hates me. I feel both way too hot and freezing. I feel like I’m going to be sick. 

“Yes.” Mao Mao whispers. My heart skips a beat. “What?” I say, dumbfounded. “Yes. Yes. Yes. A THOUSAND TIMES YES!” Mao Mao screams in joy as his voice cracks. Mao Mao jumps into my arms. “I can't believe you want to marry me!” Mao Mao cries. “So this was the plan you wouldn’t tell me about!” Adorabat exclaims as she lands on my shoulder. “Yep.” I nod. Mao Mao cuddles into the crook of my neck, despite the fact that we are both soaked. “Can I put the bracer on you now?” I ask. Mao Mao moves so we are face to face and nods. 

Mao Mao holds up his right arm and I slide the bracer on. “I figured this would be better than a wedding ring.” I explain as Mao Mao stares at the bracer that now adorns his arm. “It’s perfect.” Mao Mao whispers as he runs his hand over it. “Achoo!” Adorabat sneezes. “We should get out of the rain.” I point out. Mao Mao shakes his head. “Y-Yeah, come along, Adorabat.” Mao Mao says as he takes Adorabat’s wing into his hand as he leads her to the Aero-bike. 

I sigh happily as I follow behind them. Happy to go my warm and dry home with my boyfriend and daughter. 

Wait, no. My fiancé and daughter!