Chapter Text
Now.
“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”
Ignoring the words echoing around the room, Eren tried to focus. His chest was killing him from the earlier blow. They were probably fractured, but it didn’t feel too serious. What concerned him more was the blood dripping down his hand, running over his fingers and then down the knife clutched between them.
On the floor, lifeless eyes stared back up at him.
***
Then. Nine Weeks Ago
“Eren? Eren!”
Startled, Eren flinched back in his car seat, remembering where he was. The heavy bustle of people around them on the street signalled that they’d arrived at their destination; the Trost University student housing block. Unfortunately, they were late, and Eren had hoped to beat the mass of students moving in that weekend before classes started on the Monday, but things hadn’t worked out as planned. After being delayed a full day, thanks to one of his father’s patients having a medical emergency, the journey the following day from Shiganshina had been even longer than they’d anticipated, further holding them back.
Which was why Eren, along with the rest of his family, were only arriving at Trost on the Sunday night, with his first class scheduled for the Monday morning.
“Come on, smile!” His mother cheered, as she switched off the ignition and began to climb out of the driver’s seat. Beside her, Eren’s father remained still, as quiet as he’d been on the majority of the trip there, eyes trained down on the documents in front of him.
“You never tell Mikasa to smile more,” Eren grumbled, but was already wincing a little, before sending an apologetic glance to his sister as they climbed out of the care. Carla Yeager was laughing it off, but Eren could see the sharpness in her eyes when she looked at him, letting him know his comment had been out of line. It was obvious it’d been, what with Mikasa had been through before being adopted by his parents.
But Mikasa smiled softly at him. “Come on, let’s get our stuff out.” Of course she wouldn’t hold it against him, and it gave Eren a reason for an honest, genuine grin back as he helped her with the trunk of the car.
Even with both him and Mikasa attending Trost University, they hadn’t brought too much stuff with them, which made unloading it all the easier. His mother helped them, despite Eren shooing her away, what with her bad back and all.
“For god’s sake, Grisha,” Carla chastised, when Eren’s father still stayed in the car. “Get your head out of your notes for one second and come help your children unpack!”
Eren could understand why his father had been so busy, but it still stung a little. There’d been a recent outbreak of flu cases back home, and with the Yeager clinic being overrun with patients as of late, his dad had been hard at work, almost non-stop. The only way he’d been able to make the time to see Eren and Mikasa off was to bring his work with him, namely patient files that he’d been pouring over for the majority of the trip, searching for patterns in the outbreak while other doctors worked busily back in Shiganshina.
Still, Grisha ended up getting out to help them, and by the time they had Eren’s stuff sorted out from Mikasa’s, the crowd of students moving in around them had thinned out a little.
“I’ll help you with your stuff, okay Mikasa?” Carla said, already bending down to grab a few bags in spite of the protests around her. “You help Eren, Grisha, and we’ll meet back here once they’re both moved in.”
In the end, Mikasa carried most of her things, and when the two women left for the all-female building Mikasa had been assigned to, Eren turned to his dad. Grisha Yeager’s fingers were twitching, and although he was already reaching down for Eren’s bags, he kept turning back to glance at the car.
Sighing, Eren placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got this, Dad. Why don’t you get back to your work, and I’ll come find you when I’m done.”
“Eren, you’re my son. I’m perfectly capable of-”
“I know,” Eren interrupted, and he meant it. Although he and his father’s relationship was strained at times, especially as of late, he knew that the man cared for him, loved him. “But your work is important. You gotta beat that bug before too many people get sick.”
Which was how, five minutes later, Eren found himself juggling his bags as he walked across the university campus to his dormitory building. The bags weren’t overly heavy, apart from the one filled with his textbooks, but it was definitely a struggle to carry them all at once. Regretting the decision to park so far away from his building in comparison to Mikasa’s, Eren groaned as he rounded a corner to see his building, even further away than he’d anticipated.
A few steps later, Eren stumbled on a slippery patch of pavement, and swore softly as he almost toppled over, only to be saved by a long, strong arm.
“Are you okay?”
Blushing a little at the embarrassment of almost falling over his own feet, Eren turned to face his saviour, only to flush further. Because the man (and fuck, was he a man) was hot as hell, towering over him with a concerned expression. He had blonde hair that was cropped short, and azure eyes that were framed with the most intense eyebrows that had Eren’s heart racing. The guy looked a fair few years older than Eren, so probably wasn’t a student, but goddamn could Eren see some muscles through that white collared shirt.
Realising that he was staring at the man in stunned silence, Eren blinked and tried to get rid of his deer-in-the-headlights expression.
“Um, yes. Thanks so much for catching me, dude.”
Ugh, dude. What was wrong with him?
God, if Mikasa could see him now. While his sister was usually composed and reserved, one thing that would always have her smiling would be how Eren tripped over his own tongue when talking to guys. Even after the experiences he’d had, Eren had never quite mastered the art of it, to the point that even he would laugh at his own words.
What made it worse was that Eren was by no means a virgin, or innocent.
It had started in high school, back in Shiganshina, where Eren had always preferred to blend in with the crowd. He’d never really dated anyone, with no friends or family knowing that he was into guys. Sure, he’d watched a lot of porn, but had never had the courage to act on any crushes he’d had. And there had been quite a few, from the jocks passing by him in the halls to that one quiet nerd in his class that Eren had been weirdly into. He had never acted on anything, of course, not wanting to risk outing himself, and he sat back, convinced that there was no way any of the guys he liked could possibly be gay.
But one day, Eren had heard two girls talking about how Samuel Linke-Jackson on the football team had apparently gotten drunk at a party and accidently outed himself.
Eren had blown Sam that afternoon in the locker room.
It had been a rushed job, and to this day Eren looked back on the whole thing and internally cringed, just as everyone probably did when thinking about their first sexual experience. They’d both been terrified of getting caught, all rushed hands and clumsiness as they tried to get off as soon as possible. Eren had gagged and spluttered on his cock, and not in the hot way, having to pull off every now and then to cough or regain his breath. But Sam had liked it, and had ended up cumming down Eren’s throat, and that was all that really mattered in the end.
It hadn’t ended there. While Eren and Sam had never become a ‘thing’ for one reason or another, the other teen ended up introducing him to a friend of his, Thomas Wagner. Which was how Eren had gotten his first, and only, boyfriend, for all of five months. It’d been exciting, even if they hadn’t had anything in common apart from the fact they were both into guys. They’d go out sometimes, mostly to that one seedy gay bar that didn’t check ID’s all too carefully. But more often than not, the time he spent with Thomas would consist of their hands down each other’s pants, preferring to have sex than to actually bond over anything.
It was clearly not the foundation for a good relationship and well… it hadn’t ended well.
But in the time they’d been going strong, it hadn’t taken long for Mikasa to learn of what he’d been up to. With them living under the same roof, the late nights and hickeys Eren often hid from his parents quickly became evident to her. They were best friends and adopted siblings, so of course she wouldn’t care that he was into guys. They’d never had a deep discussion about it, but at the same time it wasn’t taboo either, which suited Eren just fine. It wasn’t a big deal that he was gay, and the fact that Mikasa thought so as well made him happier beyond anything.
The only other person that knew about Eren being into guys was their other friend, Armin. The guy was Eren’s oldest friend, from when they were kids and even before Mikasa had become part of his family. The three of them had been close, and so it had been bittersweet when Armin had been accepted into a prestigious law degree in Orvud, even further away from Shiganshina than Trost was.
Armin was a genius, plain and simple, and so of course Eren had encouraged him to accept the offer. Even if it had cut him deep to be separated from him. Still, they’d stay in contact of course, and for now Mikasa would be enough support for Eren. She’d moved to Trost solely because he’d wanted to, and had decided to study as an English major. She liked reading, and talking about books, but apart from that, Eren was pretty sure she’d chosen it to stay close to him.
Still, he was glad she wasn’t here to see this embarrassing effort.
But the blonde man just smiled again, kind and knowing. “I’m assuming you’re moving in today? Do you need any help carrying your bags?”
Fuck, his voice was just as sexy as he was. Deep and rich, washing over Eren like warm chocolate. For a second, Eren briefly fantasised about what the man would sound like in the bedroom, before switching his focus back to the situation at hand.
“That would be great, thanks so much!” Eren grinned, trying and failing not to sound too excited.
The older man took most of his stuff, despite Eren protesting that he could manage some. Fighting back the hopeful thought that his actions might’ve been motivated by more than just common kindness, Eren lead the way to his building.
“I hope I’m not taking too much time out of your evening,” he mentioned as they walked, more to break the silence than anything.
“Not at all,” the blonde replied, “I was just on my way home, so this is nothing. Might I ask your name, young man?”
Young man. Ouch, that didn’t bode well for his chances.
“Um, Eren.”
The older man’s eyes twinkled. “Nice to meet you Eren. I’m Erwin.”
Surprisingly, they spent the rest of the walk to Eren’s building in comfortable conversation. When asked, Eren told Erwin about how he was a science major, but refrained from going into too much detail about the details of what that meant. Of how his father had wanted desperately for Eren to follow on his footsteps and work at the Yeager clinic, but Eren hadn’t been able to get the exam marks needed for a medical course. Of how that, in addition to his older brother, Zeke, dropping out of medical school to elope with his girlfriend, had put even more pressure on Eren to excel at Trost and later transfer to study to become a doctor.
Eren didn’t even know if he wanted to be a doctor, but he wasn’t going to dump all of that on Erwin.
“I have a passion for science,” Eren said instead, because that at least was true. “I just don’t know what I want to do with it yet.”
“You’ll get there, Eren, I’m sure. I can already tell that you’re an intelligent young man. Whatever you put your mind to, you’ll be able to achieve it.”
And fuck, Eren as blushing again, because all he wanted to put his mind towards right now was getting Erwin to follow him into his dorm for some ‘college orientation.’ If he had to guess, the man was probably in his early 30’s, and unless Eren had become even more delusional than usual, there was definitely something there.
But he stayed silent with his hopes, and by the time they got to the front door to his building, Erwin as already passing the bags he’d been carrying back to Eren.
“I wish you the best, Eren. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around at some point in time.”
Damn, Eren had really hoped there’d be more than that. But his hopes had been unrealistic at best, so he fought down his frown and instead smiled gratefully at the older man.
“Thanks again for your help, Erwin,” he replied, “you really didn’t have to.”
“Of course I did,” Erwin stated simply and fuck, Eren was gone.
***
By the time Eren finally said goodbye to Erwin, after many more thank-you’s and the hope of running into him again, he quickly popped up to his room to dump his stuff. His mom and Mikasa were probably done by now, so Eren only took a small time to survey his room on the way in.
It wasn’t big, but still enough to be liveable. He’d known that he’d have a roommate, but aside from one of the beds having several bags already dumped on it, the room was deserted. Eren quickly shuffled over to what was clearly his bed, noting how the nameless roommate had clearly picked the better side of the room.
Ignoring the fact that if Eren had been in the same situation he would’ve done the exact same thing, he grumpily put his stuff away on the other side of the room, before glancing around. Thankfully, his parents had decided to pay for both him and Mikasa to have private bathrooms, meaning that aside from their roommates, they wouldn’t have to share with anyone else.
After that, he hurried back to the car, where the rest of his family were waiting for him. It was a tearful farewell, mostly from his mom at least, but Eren had also been blinking away the moisture from his eyes as he said goodbye. This was his first time living away from his parents, not to mention his hometown, and to say the least, he was scared. But he held a brave face for them, putting an arm around Mikasa as they waved them off, staying with her until the car had disappeared.
“Try not to get into too much trouble before tomorrow,” Mikasa had quipped as they parted ways afterward.
Eren just flipped her off, but they were both smiling as they went back to their respective dorms. It was already quite late, but they’d had dinner on the way into Trost, meaning Eren could get back to his room to finally relax.
When he did get back to his dorm, it wasn’t empty.
“Are you the dickwad who used my soap?”
Eren paused, the greeting he’d been about to start with already dying on his lips. Because what the fuck, who was this guy?
The man in question, who was clearly his roommate, was glaring at him from where he stood in the doorway to the bathroom, a bottle of liquid soap in his hands. Which, now that he did mention it, Eren had used to briefly to wash his hands, because it had been next to the sink.
“Um, hi?” Eren replied, arching an eyebrow. “And yeah, sorry. I thought it was supplied by the college.” In the guy’s defence, it was clearly a very expensive soap, but Eren had had other things on his mind back then, namely getting back in time to see his parents off. The guy clearly oozed money, and was probably from one of the bigger cities, like Orvud or Stohess.
Instead of shrugging it off, the other man rolled his eyes, grunting as he turned to walk back into the bathroom. Fucking hell, he was a piece of work, and Eren was already cursing his luck because of course he got stuck with this shit of a roommate. The guy was reasonably attractive, with shaggy hair and a long face. He seemed to be a fair bit taller than Eren as well, which at this point was becoming the story of his life.
A few minutes later, as Eren was unpacking his clothes into what he gathered was his wardrobe, the guy walked back into the room again. He didn’t acknowledge Eren, instead padding over to his own bed, still seemingly angry as he rifled through his stuff.
After several minutes of awkward silence, during which Eren had texted Mikasa as to how much his life sucked right now, the guy spoke up again.
“So what’s your name, then?”
Seriously?
Still, Eren did his best to put on a kind face as he glanced back up. “I’m Eren. Yeager. Nice to meet you.”
“Whatever,” the guy replied, still scowling, “I’m Jean. Try not to piss me off any more than you already have, okay?”
Yeah okay. Eren fucking hated this guy and his fucking horseface.
***
Jean didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night, and the next morning was gone by the time Eren had gotten out of bed. Which squandered Eren’s plan to make nice with him over breakfast after a night’s sleep, so he started the day off in a slightly bad mood. Even the fact that Jean was gone that early was crazy, because Eren had a 9am lecture, and so was up even before then.
Still, he blearily wandered down to the communal cafeteria alone, quickly shovelling down a bowl of cereal and some coffee before leaving for class. He’d decided to do a history elective in addition to his science subjects, which because he hadn’t selected a specific major yet, gave him a relatively sparse timetable. With the lecture being the only class that day for him, Eren really had no excuse not to go, so tiredly made his way across campus.
He only got lost once, but by the time he got there the lecturer still hadn’t arrived. Eren immediately went to sit in the middle of the theatre, not wanting to be right at the front but also knew if he was in the back he’d likely slack off.
Happy that he’d managed to make it okay to his first class, Eren felt his grumpy mood begin to lift. At least something was going right for him now.
Of course, it was then that life would have another thing coming for him.
“Good morning class,” a deep voice announced from behind him, as the lecturer entered the room. And although Eren had immediately placed it, his hair feeling like it was standing on end, the next words confirmed his fears. “I’m professor Erwin Smith, and I’ll be taking this subject for the semester.”
Yeah, he was screwed.
***
When Eren made it back to his dorm after class and grabbing lunch, he’d all but fallen onto his bed in mental exhaustion. Because well… fuck. He’d spent the majority of the lecture in stunned silence, thankful that it was only an introductory class and so not too much had actually happened, beyond going through the syllabus. He’d managed to take a few notes, but every time he tried to concentrate, Erwin’s voice would always remind him of exactly who it was doing the teaching.
What had Eren been thinking, not even asking Erwin yesterday what he did? He’d assumed that the man was merely a TA or senior student, because what college professor would help carry a students bags? They’d spent the whole interaction talking about Eren, with Erwin dodging most attempts to ask about him. And right there should’ve been a red flag, but Eren had been so head over heels that he’d barely noticed.
Shit, he was sooo fucked.
Erwin had definitely noticed Eren’s presence, judging by the few times his eyes had landed on him. To the older man’s credit, there’d been no visible reaction the first time he’d seen Eren, beyond a slight pause in his words, which was natural enough that the rest of the class wouldn’t have noticed. His expression had been calm and composed the entire time, a mask to stop anyone from knowing what he was really thinking. But to Eren, that just made him even hotter.
Of course, Eren had done the only sensible thing and hightailed it out of there the moment the lecture finished. He wasn’t proud of it, but the moment Erwin had winded down his class, the panic of potentially talking to him had rushed up on Eren and yeah, he needed to leave.
Thankfully, his asshole of a roommate wasn’t around when he got back, so Eren immediately started to undress.
Jean had his timetable stapled to the wall above his desk, so after double-checking that he wouldn’t be back till much later that afternoon, Eren finished stripping off completely.
Fully naked, he didn’t hesitate to flop onto his bed, lying back as he reached down to stroke his already hard cock. He closed his eyes, imagining that it was Erwin holding him, his long, thick fingers dancing over his shaft. Just the thought alone made Eren groan, and he sped his hand up as he jacked himself off. Opening his eyes again, Eren looked down at his body, the way his abs rippled as he moved, how his fingers gripped his cock. He knew he had a nice dick, thick and a little above average in length, enough to satisfy anyone but not too big to make things impossible.
By all accounts, he knew he was a catch. Yet he never knew how to handle himself around men, too nervous and anxious in every interaction. He wasn’t completely pathetic, after all, Samuel and Thomas were reminders of his success, but it seemed that more often than not, Eren’s attitude would be his downfall. The case of Thomas had been… excessive, and was something that Eren definitely regretted.
He was doing better now, at least. But it was still a dark patch in his life.
And now, with Erwin on his mind, Eren felt even worse, the mistake of jacking off to his college professor that was officially unattainable. His hand stuttered, and Eren stopped entirely, just staring down at the run of dark hair on his naval as he thought his life over. The best choice of action would be to stop any further thoughts of Erwin (Professor Smith, he reminded himself) before he got too attached. If he could nip the attraction in the bud, before it grew into something more, then perhaps he’d have a chance at not becoming a complete mess.
Already, Eren knew that wasn’t going to happen.
Noticing that he was no longer as hard as he had been, Eren shook his head, before reaching for his phone. Shoving the complicated thoughts out of his head, he instead focused on the most pressing matter, which right now was his libido. Rubbing his cock to get himself going again, Eren quickly tapped in the first porn site that came to mind, before choosing a video that stood out to him. The fact that it was of a larger blonde man and a smaller dark-haired man was something he’d ignore for now.
The similarities ended there, but Eren still felt himself grow hard again as he watched the brunette on screen blow the blonde. He lightly stroked his cock again, his breath hitching as the video went on, and the guy began to deepthroat the cock in his mouth. Eren sped up his pace, watching the scene all the while, and it wasn’t long until he was stifling a groan as he came, thick ropes of seed splashing over his abs and chest.
Eren’s hand shakily slowed down, as his sensitive cock gradually began to soften. After a short moment of just lying there, Eren threw his phone to the side and got up to walk to the bathroom. As he reached the wide mirror above the sink, he paused, surveying himself.
He knew he was good looking, objectively at least. He’d gotten good genes from his parents, and Thomas and everyone else that had been interested in him had made sure to let him know that. He’d gotten more muscular since finishing high school, not overly so, but enough that the bulk in his shoulders and pecs still seemed alien to him. He was shorter than most, but Eren was okay with that, and knew that if it came down to looks, he was in pretty good hands.
But as he glanced over the drying cum on his stomach, Eren couldn’t help but feel disheartened, because he felt empty inside. He knew he was missing out on something, that everyday spark of life that had eluded him for so long. For ages, he’d assumed that it was because he’d kept his sexuality bottled up form everyone, and that now that he was at university, he could finally live true to himself.
Yet here he was on his first day in, with his roommate hating him and his only other meaningful interaction being with a fucking lecturer. No matter what he did, he was disappointing someone, and the thought ate him up on the inside.
Fuck, he was such a whiny bitch. Eren had a fucking good life. He knew that. And so he shook his head, clearing any negativity from his thoughts as he stepped into the shower.
It wasn’t until hours later, when Jean got back, that things finally began to turn around.
In the time after getting out of the shower, Eren had busied himself with preparing for his first chemistry class the next day. It’d been while rearranging his stuff around that he’d noticed a flyer tucked under a book on Jean’s desk, and after debating the morality of the situation, had decided to take a peek.
What he’d seen had given him food for thought, so when Jean got back, he was ready.
“Are you thinking of joining the GSA then?”
Jean flinched back like he’d been shot, and Eren winced a little even if he knew it was the right way to go about it. He’d been surprised to see the flyer for the Trost Gay-Straight alliance on his desk, but after thinking about it, Eren had come to the conclusion that it was the best thing he could’ve hoped for. Between lounging around the room that afternoon, he’d spent most of his time working out the best way to broach the subject with Jean, which clearly wasn’t going the way he’d planned.
Unfortunately, Jean got defensive, very quickly.
“Looking through people’s stuff now, are you?” He growled, looking furious. But Eren could see the terror behind his glare, and immediately put his hands up in a surrender motion.
“Hey, hey,” he began, “I noticed it while setting up my stuff. It’s not my fault you spread your shit out over both of our desks.”
“Yeah, well…” Jean faltered, clearly not sure what to respond with. He deflated, and immediately Eren’s heart went out to him, because he could see a lot of himself in the guy. They clearly both had issues with handling their emotions, even if Eren was doing a better job at it then Jean. Not to mention the other glaring elephant in the room.
From the start, Eren had planned on being open with others about his sexuality, now that he was out of Shiganshina. He’d grown up in a relatively isolated town, and so apart from Sam and Thomas and a few others he’d met out at clubs, there hadn’t been very many gay people. Even less that were out and proud. But with Trost, somewhere much more urban, Eren had hoped that he’d be able to live the life he’d wanted to.
Of course, hypothetically talking about it was much easier than being the moment, right now.
Jean looked like he was torn between throwing himself out the window and attacking Eren right then and there, so Eren steeled himself. It was now or never.
“If you have a problem with me, Yeager, then say it right now. I’ll knock you on your ass clean and-”
“I’m gay too.”
Jean’s false bravado was cut off, and for a few awkward seconds he stared at Eren in silence. Eren swallowed, not really sure what to say to the guy. Mikasa and Armin had reacted with overwhelming positivity, and while Jean clearly played for the same team as him, the guy had been nothing short of rude for the full day they’d known each other.
Whatever Eren had been expecting, it wasn’t for Jean to start pissing himself laughing.
“Fucking hell, I’m going to be stuck with you, aren’t I.”
To say the next few minutes were odd would be the understatement of the year, because for some reason Jean decided to actually be somewhat civil to him. Sure, he still reeked of the smarmy, rich boy that Eren had pegged him for the previous night. But Eren could also see, now at least, that the guy was insecure as fuck, and at least half of his dickhead attitude was in protection of himself.
It reminded Eren of himself, back in high school. When he’d been the one to combat weakness with anger.
“I’m not gay, you know.” Jean had said, later that night. When Eren looked up in alarm, the other guy chuckled. “Well, not completely. I’m into guys, but also girls as well. I wanted to check out the GSA because, well, I’ve never really explored that side of myself before.”
Eren nodded, understanding. He could just picture Jean, growing up with all the privilege in the world, more than happy to conform to the part of himself that society wanted. If anything, it made Eren like him more for wanting to break the mould, even though he’d never admit it to the asshole. When he was silent, the moment he’d been hoping for finally came along.
“Um. Do you want to come with me? The introductory meeting for freshman is tomorrow afternoon.”
And yeah, Eren did. With one stipulation, though.
“Can I bring someone?”
***
“I think this is really good, Eren. I’m so glad you’re doing this.”
Mikasa’s words made Eren flush, especially because Jean was standing right there. God, whatever cool points he’d earnt in the guy’s book were surely down the drain by now, even if only because of the way Mikasa was doting on him. Sure, he wouldn’t have it any other way, and the amount she cared for him meant the world to him, but sometimes when they were with other people, well… it was just embarrassing.
The three of them were stood outside the room that had been listed on the flyer. Eren had breezed through his chemistry classes that day, both because he was legitimately passionate about the subject, and due to the anticipation for that afternoon. But right now, he was nervous as hell, and judging by the way Jean was shuffling on his feet, the other man was in the same boat.
When neither Jean or Eren replied to Mikasa, she frowned.
“You two are quiet.”
“I’m fine,” they both mumbled back, almost at exactly the same time.
Eren was relieved to see that Jean’s shitty attitude towards him hadn’t extended to Mikasa, where the guy had been almost too polite. Between complimenting her hair and asking her questions on the way over, it was clear he had a tiny crush on her, which was something Eren didn’t know how to feel about. Jean had been happy to hear that not only was Mikasa Eren’s sister, but that she also made up the ‘S’ portion of the GSA. Still, it was just a puppy crush, and Eren knew that at the moment, it was harmless.
Mikasa was clearly indifferent towards him, something which Eren took to mean that she didn’t feel the same way, and this was certainly not the first time a guy had been interested in her.
There were a few other people milling about the halls, and although Eren had been tempted to go up and introduce himself, Jean had held him back. It was clear that the other man was still insecure about himself, and without knowing whether the random people around were joining the GSA or not, Eren could understand.
Still, he was a little disappointed. The guy and the girl across the hall that were throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths looked really fun.
Eventually, the door to the room opened, and a girl that looked a few years older than Eren walked out. She was a brunette with glasses, and already she was smiling so widely that Eren felt weirdly worried.
“Are you guys here for the GSA? Come on in!”
Jean flushed and looked away, but Mikasa strode on in, grabbing Eren’s hand to tug him behind her. Without waiting to see whether their companion was following them, Mikasa practically dragged Eren to one of the empty tables. The room was mostly empty, except for a few people milling about in the back, as well as a pair of girls cuddling on the loveseat in the corner. The room itself was colourful and welcoming, with dozens of sofas littered about for people to hang out on, as well as tables set up with snacks for whoever was attending.
Thankfully, Jean clearly mustered up the courage to enter, and was already taking a seat beside Mikasa when a loud shout boomed from behind them.
“Ohmygod, Wedges!”
Eren jumped a little in alarm, as a young brunette girl all but ran to one of the empty tables, before practically shoving her face into a bowl of potato wedges that had been placed there. A short guy with a buzzcut joined her a few seconds later, and Eren realised that it was the pair that had been throwing the popcorn around in the hallway earlier.
The guy at least had the decency to look sheepish, as he took a few hot wedges. The girl, on the other hand, was lost to the bowl.
A few more people slowly milled into the room, some of them as shy as Jean, but most looked like they weren’t strangers to the place. As the room filled up to about twenty or so people, the girl with glasses from earlier walked to the front of the room.
“Hi everyone!” She shouted, the genuine enthusiasm evident in her voice. “I’m so excited to see so many new faces around, as well as some familiar ones. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Hanji Zoë, the president of Trost University’s Gay-Straight Alliance!”
“So, the first thing I want to make clear to everyone is that this is a safe place, first and foremost. I know all of you will have vastly different backgrounds to each other, and so know that beyond anything else, we are a family here. You can share as much as you want, or if you just want to observe that’s fine too. Also, this is a safe space for anyone, not just members of the LGBT+ community.”
Hanji kept talking, and although Eren did listen, he also surveyed the room. It was clear that most of the new freshman were the ones around the tables at the front, while a lot of people that had been there before stayed at the back. The two girls on the couch were still cuddling, with the taller brunette whispering something into the blonde’s ear that made her giggle under her breath. There were a lot of guys, too, and despite himself Eren’s heart began to race a little, both at the thought of being honest with so many people, and also at the collective hotness of everyone around him.
If he couldn’t get a guy from this group, then surely all hope was lost, right?
As Hanji explained the rules of the club, Eren’s attention was drawn to a guy in the back corner. He was so surreptitious that Eren hadn’t even seen him enter or notice him until now. The guy was short, shorter than Eren probably, with pale skin and dark hair in a faded undercut. He was staring at Hanji with a bored expression, but all Eren could think was that he wanted.
The guy oozed danger.
“So, before we officially start,” Hanji continued, “I wanted to announce that in a few months from now, we’ll be having a fundraiser in support of disadvantaged and troubled youths. We did it for the first time last year, and it was a massive success, so with the Dean’s and the university’s support, we’re looking to make it an annual event. It’s a huge outdoor barbeque with activities and drinking games available to the campus, and we’ll be looking for volunteers to help make it happen.”
“Trust me, it’s amazing. Everyone should definitely come,” a quiet, nerdy looking guy spoke up from the back of the room.
“Thanks, o’boyfriend of mine,” Hanji beamed, before continuing. “So I want to run through a little thing now where we each introduce ourselves to the group, and maybe a few facts about ourselves. I know it can be scary, so we’ll start with some of the oldies first, and if you don’t want to speak then that’s perfectly fine.”
Clearing her throat, Hanji continued. “So, as I said before, I’m Hanji Zoë. I’m transgender, and have been officially out for the past five years. I joined the GSA in my freshman year, and it’s been the best four years of my life. I’m a chemistry major, so if there’s any other science nerds around, I’m sure you’ll be sick of me by the end of the year.”
A few people in the back started clapping, and Eren and the others got the hint to join in. It was nice to see another science student, maybe someone he could get advice from when it came to picking a major. As Hanji left the front, the guy who had spoken up earlier replaced her.
“I’m Moblit Berner. Mostly straight. I joined the GSA in support of my girlfriend, and haven’t looked back since.”
Again, more applause came, and Eren began to see a few people around him shuffle nervously at the thought of speaking up. More people from the back introduced themselves, and although Eren did listen intently, they all began to blur into one.
The short guy from the back didn’t move.
“Reiner Braun,” a blonde guy who was built like an ox announced, confidently. “I’m gay, joined the GSA last year with my best friend, whose not here today. If you see me around campus, come say hey. And come support the Trost Titans,” he cheered, namedropping the university football team, which he clearly played for judging by the jacket he was wearing. As he walked away again, Eren had to check to see if he was drooling, because fucking hell. A quick glance at Jean showed that the guy was similarly transfixed.
“Ymir,” Hanji suddenly shouted from the back, pointing to the two girls on the loveseat, “get up, its your turn.”
“Fuck off!” The brunette girl shouted back, much to Eren’s shock. A nervous laughter rippled through the room, but eventually the girl’s companion, the tiny blonde, got her up to the front.
“Hi, everyone,” the blonde said cheerfully, her voice light and squeaky. “I’m Historia, and this is my girlfriend Ymir.” The brunette, Ymir, just grunted next to her. “Like Reiner and Hanji said, please come say hello to us, and feel free to hang out in this room whenever you want.”
A few more people went after them, but as the flow of speakers began to die down, it became clear that it was almost time for the freshman to get up there. Eren steeled his nerves, and after a pretty blonde said her piece, was surprised to see the short guy with the buzzcut stand up.
“Woo,” Hanji cheered from the back, “the first Freshman!”
When the guy got to the front, he smiled widely. “Um, hi.” He paused, and after a small chuckle from the audience, continued. “I’m Connie Springer. I’m into guys, mostly. I came here with my friend, whose the one with her face still stuffed in the bowl of wedges. Get your ass up here, Sasha!”
That got another laugh from people, Eren included. And when the brunette girl, Sasha, was eventually dragged to the front, she still had a handful of potato in her palm. “Hi, I’m Sasha! I like food and girls, in that order.”
The two were clearly a big hit, and already it was clear that their enthusiasm was infectious. Already, Eren wanted to be friends with them, and as they walked back to their table, he shot the guy, Connie, a grin, which he returned.
To Eren’s surprise, Mikasa was the next to rise from her seat. She calmly walked up, and when she talked, it was with a confidence that Eren wished he had.
“Hi,” Mikasa stated simply, from the front. “I’m Mikasa Yeager. I’m straight. Here to support my brother. Oh, and I’m a literature major.”
She glanced at Eren meaningfully, and he realised that she’d gotten up as a way to get him to talk. It wasn’t pressuring as much as encouraging, and Eren gulped and glanced at Jean, who looked as white as chalk. Feeling his heart thump in chest, he made the walk up, feeling like was going in slow motion.
This was it.
“Hey guys,” he began, before swallowing. Looking around the room, he could see everyone’s eyes on him. Fuck, he wasn’t sure he could do this. Hanji was smiling encouragingly, and everyone from Reiner to Connie and Sasha to even Ymir was staring at him.
And then he saw the short guy in the corner glance his way. Piercing brown eyes locked onto his, and Eren swore he saw the guy smile slightly.
“I’m Eren Yeager. I’m a science student, and I’m gay.”
There was a moment’s silence. And then, contrary to every nightmare Eren had ever had regarding this moment, the audience clapped for him.
Mikasa was hugging him, whispering how proud she was of him. And as they walked back to their seats, Connie held his hand out for a hi-five, which Eren reciprocated, still feeling in a daze. He was only one of many, of course, and so as quick as his applause had come, it stopped for the next person to appear after them, but Eren felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
He was so wrapped up in what had happened that he almost missed Jean, who all but ran up to the front, mumbled “Jean Kirschtein. Global studies. Bi,” before dashing back to his spot. Eren cheered for him, and patted him on the back in comfort, and to his surprise, the guy shot him a thankful smile.
A few more people went after them, until Hanji eventually came back up to the front.
“That was fantastic, guys! I don’t think we’ve ever had this much buzz around a new group of freshmen, so feel proud of yourselves. Everyone, make yourselves at home and get to know your new family, and once again I want to remind everyone of the fundraiser coming up in just nine weeks!”
As she walked over to chat to a few freshmen in the front row, Connie and Sasha made their way over to Eren, Mikasa and Jean. They both had massive grins on their faces, and as Sasha began to tuck into the bowl of food at their table, Eren grinned.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
The two immediately started chatting away, and already Eren felt at ease. He glanced to Mikasa, who was staring back at him with a soft expression. When they made eye contact she smiled with pride.
“Oi,” Ymir shouted from the corner a moment later, and Eren turned to see who she was yelling at. “Levi, can you pass us the bowl of chips?”
To Eren’s surprise, it was the short guy in the corner who responded. “Get ‘em yourself, you lazy bitch.”
Ymir screeched something back, and was looking like she wanted to pounce, with only Historia holding her back. The people around them didn’t seem to care, so Eren assumed it was a common occurrence. Ymir seemed like… a lot to handle.
Besides, he now had a name.
Levi.
Yeah, suffice to say, Eren’s day had turned around.
***
Now.
“Fuck, Eren. What have you done?”
Glancing up from the dead body at his feet, Eren looked at the man in front of him. Levi’s face was caked in blood, most of which wasn’t his own. His usually perfectly styled hair was in disarray, and bruises were already forming around his neck. The fact that they were shaped like finger marks was clear as day.
Outside, what seemed like a firework went off, and a loud cheer followed. The GSA fundraiser was clearly still going as strong as ever, but right now all Eren cared about was fighting the panic forming in his chest.
“I-” he started, before halting, because he was choking on vomit. “He was going to kill you, Levi.”
The ragged rise and fall of Levi’s chest was clear. “You killed him, Eren. You killed him.”
Eren swallowed, his throat feeling like sandpaper. In his hand, the knife continued to drip blood onto the wooden floor.