Archive of Our Own

Well, Dib, you really did it this time.

It was 3 o'clock in the morning, and only then, for the first time since the morning, had Dib Membrane finally made it back to his home, coat tattered and sticks stuck in his hair. It'd been a long night on all the entirely wrong things: he'd had a class going on in the evening, one that he needed to go to, but when one of his sensors he'd set up in the woods went off for the first time in three years, it had to wait. He could do make-up online work, but the Deer-Beast of Orange County wouldn't accept a rain-check.

But, at the end of things, all he'd managed to get were some blurry pictures, a few scratches, a brush-in with poison ivy, and a trip home with the cops for accidentally trekking onto a farmer's property without realizing it.

The old officer wasn't cruel, much to Dib's relief: he was an old, weathered man, with a well-kept moustache and a firm brow. In the cruiser on the way home, he reminisced about having been a wild teen running around in the woods, and understanding that some things never really changed as the years went by.

Unfortunately, this particular cop was very by the books, and that meant delivered all the way to the door.

So, there he was, getting marched up the door by the elder man, who knocked on the door roughly. It had been raining, leaving Dib looking a little bit like a dejected dog who got thrown into a pool, especially as the goggle-wearing face of his father came in the doorway

"'Scuse me, Professor Membrane?" The officer asked, tipping his hat gently. "Officer Daney with the Police Department, sir. Got a call about a trespasser on some farmland and found your boy here. He's not in no trouble, but protocol is protocol, so I had to bring him back to you."

"Hhhhi Dad," Dib muttered, cracking an awkward grin, trying to hide his briefcase of his gear behind the back of his coat. Oh, god this was not a conversation he needed to have tonight. "Got a little sidetracked on the way home, sorry. I'll... uh. I'll go ahead and head upstairs."

And move for upstairs he did, trying to step quickly and quietly around his father, praying that he wouldn't get that firm 'not so fast, young man' that he always got when he was in hot water.

"Not so fast," Professor Membrane said, as if on queue. "Trespassing? Again? Dib, you had class tonight."

"I've got the make-up work already saved on my computer!" Dib insisted, letting out a sigh. "And--- I didn't realize I was trespassing! But, listen, I had a really compelling signal go off that I haven't seen in years, I couldn't just---"

"Dib Membrane," the professor barked. "When are you going to learn to take your studies seriously? Your actual studies. Not this cryptid-hunting nonsense."

"I take them seriously enough!" Dib protested. "But this isn't nonsense! It's real! I have photographic evidence, and as I scientist, I'm supposed to be working proving theories, right?"

"Dib, these are urban legends," Professor Membrane scolded. "They are figments of the imaginations of people who only saw something out of the corner of their eye, or who aren't sure what they saw, or who want attention. The only reason people keep claiming to see them is because these legends are famous. It becomes ingrained in people's minds and then when someone else sees something they can't explain, their minds fill in the gaps with stories they remember. It's a common psychological phenomena."

"Ughhhh, I feel like you're not even listening to me!" Dib raked his hands through his hair, trying to keep his temper in check, stepping briskly over to the counter and setting his briefcase on the counter. The second he was immediately open, he went for the camera, trying to pull up the pictures as quickly as he could. "I haven't dropped these because they're not just legends, and if you would hear me out for one minute instead of just--- dismissing me like I'm some kid still, and actually saw my evidence, I could prove to you that---"

"It doesn't matter what kind of evidence you claim to have!" Professor Membrane barked, raising his voice. "I'm investing in your future, Dib! Why am I paying for you to attend university if you're just going to keep slacking off?! I'm tired of humoring you! You're allowed to have whatever hobbies you please, but not at the cost of your education! You are doing this at both of our expense and I'm not going to tolerate it anymore!"

"Then why do it!?" Dib raised his voice back, shutting the suitcase a little louder than he meant to. "Your 'real science' makes me feel like I'm trapped in a cage, and I can't do anything with the studies I want to do! I pass my classes, and yeah, I miss a few of them sometimes, but only when it comes to something big, but you never believe me about any of it anyways, so what does it matter!"

"How someone so brilliant can act so stupid, I will never know," Professor Membrane said. "I'm trying to help you build a foundation for a career so that you can support yourself as a grown man, and you are throwing it all away to chase fairy tales in the woods like a little boy, and the only benefit to that is attention that you might get from other adults who act like children on your ridiculous forums."

"What about half the time that I'm spending saving the world!?" Dib demanded. "Zim is constantly trying to get his alien overlords to destroy this planet, and if I don't stop him there will be no future to need a career to support myself with! Have you considered that!?"

"I have not because it's not going to happen! You've been going on about this nonsense with that boy down the street for years!" Professor Membrane threw up his hands. "You want to be treated like a man, Dib? Act like one. I have no desire to kick you out, but I'm not going to indulge your irresponsible behavior on my own dime for the rest of your life."

"I have been defending this planet by myself since I was twelve. Years. Old. And I'm not acting like a man!?" Dib fumed. "I take one night between classes and trying not to die for the Earth's wellbeing to look into something I'm actually interested in, and suddenly, I'm just--- pissing away my future!? How is that even fair, Dad!? I have been working so hard for over half my life, I can show you the scars from nearly getting blown up a million times! This is ridiculous!"

"You want to know what this planet actually needs defending from, Dib?" Professor Membrane seethed a bit, jabbing the table with his fingers. "Climate change. Forest fires and natural disasters. Pollution, corruption, disease, and war. Those are the things that put this planet in danger. If you studied actual science, you could be actually helping save the planet, instead of--- indulging the charades of one bored, miserable young man who has played into your fantasies since you were a child. There are no aliens coming, Dib. The problems that are killing this planet are coming from humans. And you could be helping to fix them. Wake. Up."

"So, what, Dad? I'm just a crazy guy who's been wasting ten years fighting imaginary aliens, is that it!?" Dib barked. "I have been pouring every single ounce of my energy into this for the last decade to keep you and everyone else safe, but no one cares! No one ever even knows, but I do it anyways, because praise doesn't matter if it's in exchange for the end of the world! Would you people prefer me to just let the planet get blown up!? Is that it!? Because, oh-hoh, let me tell you, Kirk, renewable energy and getting rid of the oil market are gonna do a lot when an entire armada blows this planet into RUBBLE!"

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF FOR FIVE MINUTES," Professor Membrane boomed, shouting louder than he'd meant to. "If Zim were going to bring alien annihilation down upon our heads, he would have done it years ago. He's bluffing! Because he knows you'll indulge him if he keeps doing it! How have you not realized this after so long?!"

"DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE FLORPUS-INCIDENT?!" Dib shouted back, matching his volume, more furious than he'd ever been in his entire life. "HE ALMOST DID BLOW UP THE WORLD, AND HE'S NEVER STOPPED TRYING, DAD! WHY ARE YOU IGNORING EVERYTHING THAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES?!"

"ENOUGH!" Professor Membrane turned away from Dib, livid. "...I cannot even begin to tell you how disappointed I am in you, Dib. Tomorrow I am going to come home early from work, and we are going to have a serious discussion about your future. But for now, I think both of us have some things to think about."

On top of his anger, those words came like bullets, and with only a moment of staring at the back of his father's head, he grabbed his briefcase, making for the door without stopping. "I'm going out, Dad. Don't wait up for me. Goodnight."

Professor Membrane didn't have time to answer before Dib was out the door. Gaz, who was out on the porch, watched him storm out. She often sat there when people were arguing, rather than pass through. She raised a brow. "Where ya goin'?"

"Anywhere else," Dib muttered, tossing his briefcase into the back seat of his old, beat-up car, not even looking back at her. "Coming home was a mistake."

"Dib, come on, it's like 1am," Gaz called after him. "Don't be a dickhead."

"You don't have to worry about that anymore!" Dib snapped. "Just ask Dad for details."

Gaz stood, angry now."Dib! What the hell! Would you just calm the fuck down and talk to me for a second?"

"No, Gaz! Because, if I do, he's going to come back out here, and I can't deal with that right now!" Dib barked, moving to get into the driver's seat of his car. "Bye, Gaz."

Gaz let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Fine, okay, go blow off some steam, just--- don't do anything drastic, okay?"

Dib didn't answer that, not even knowing what to say, simply shutting the door, and with that, he was off, on the desolate night roads.

The city was asleep as he drove through it, and the first place he thought to go to was the cliff overlooking the town, one that he'd visited frequently when he was younger to stargaze. For the longest time, he just fumed, flipping through his photos, before tossing his camera aside, griping to himself quietly about the whole thing.

The longer he was out here, though, the more reality started to crush him.

He'd argued with his dad.

He'd ruined his college career.

He was probably getting kicked out, not to the streets, but anywhere else.

Everything was falling apart around him.

Not only that, but everyone: his family, his peers, hell, even himself sometimes, thought he was crazy.

...Maybe he was crazy.

That had him staring off the cliff, forlorn. What would he even do with his life now? Keep stopping Zim, and trying to prove the existence of the paranormal creatures in the area? For what? No one cared. The planet almost was destroyed once, but still, not a soul gave a damn beside him.

Maybe it wasn't worth it to keep trying.

He'd gotten so tired after all these years, and if no one cared about how hard he worked almost every day of his life, maybe he shouldn't, either.

Standing up quietly, he stared over the city that he'd fought for his whole life for what felt like a long time, feeling... forlorn. Empty.

A glance was taken to the cliffs down below.

An uncaring city, an uncaring cliff face.

Seems like it was set up just for him, right at this night.

Standing by the edge, Dib stared down at the bottom of the cliffs, almost in a trance. There wouldn't be anyone that missed him that much. Not like they'd have too long to, anyways. With him gone, the Irken Armada would be there any time. It'd be quick and painless. The humans didn't really have anything for them that he could think of.

Maybe it was time for him--- and planet Earth--- to stop existing for a while.

And with one final thought of confirmation, he shifted his foot forward, letting his eyes close and his breath hitch in his throat.

This was it.

What Dib didn't count on is that on this particular night, a familiar ship would be flying right past that very cliff face.

Zim had left his house in a great hurry. The Tallest were no longer answering his transmissions. Their flight path had not wavered. And to top it all off, he had received a transmission sent out to all Irkens that Operation Impending Doom II was officially over. The denial was starting to wear off and Zim was beginning to spiral, so packed a few things and had climbed in his voot runner, planning to head home. Fuck Earth right now, he'd come back later if he needed to, but for now he needed to have his questions answered.

"Somethin's gonna fall," Gir remarked, snapping Zim out of his anxiety haze.

"What?" Zim asked, looking to his left to see Dib fall from the cliff. "WH--- DIB?!"

Acting faster than he was thinking, Zim veered off course, opening the hood of his ship and catching Dib rather precariously by the coat with his PAK legs.

"WH---"

Dib had felt the air billow past him, the gravity pull him down, and all of a sudden... it stopped. The sound of wind rushing past his ears was replaced with a familiar voice and mechanical whirring, and looking up, he caught sight of literally the last thing he wanted to see right now.

A pair of bright pink eyes, leaning over the side of a little airship. "DIIIIB. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"ZIM!?" Dib had to yell over the sound of wind that whipped around the cliff's face, feeling like he was still falling, even if he was barely suspended. Despite this, though, he turned dismayed instead of furious, twisting a bit. "LET ME GO! IT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU GO IN THE SKY, FOOL." Zim pulled him into the ship, Gir moving aside for Zim to set him down.

Dib struggled frantically, hoping to slip off the metal spikes suspending him or wriggle free of his coat before he could be rescued, but to no avail. The clear hood of the voot runner closed, trapping him in Zim’s stupid, cramped ship.

"Why did you do that!?" Dib demanded, throwing his arms up. "Hasn't your whole thing been trying to kill me anyways!? I'm making it really easy right now, Zim!"

Zim's eyes widened with surprise, leaning back a bit. "What are you talking about?! I just saved your life, you ingrate!"

"I was trying to die!" Dib snapped, bristling.

At that, Zim fell silent for a long moment, the wind knocked out of him. He couldn’t understand why Dib, of all people, would want that. His voice was uncharacteristically quiet when he spoke again. "...Why?"

The hushed voice had Dib's anger crumple like a sad piece of paper, leaving him slumping back against the seat of the voot runner, leaning his head back against it. "...I'm getting kicked out of my Dad's house, everything's falling apart, the world is going to end anyways, and--- I'm tired, Zim. I'm... so fucking tired. That's why."

"The world's not ending," Zim confessed.

Dib furrowed his brows. "...What're you talking about?"

"The--- Armada, Dib, they aren't coming," Zim replied, growing a bit frantic himself now. "The Tallest won't answer me anymore and I just got word that Operation Impending Doom II is considered over. Everyone's gone back to Irk."

That had Dib quiet for a moment. It was something that he would've delighted in, any other time, but even despite how frantic Zim was, it left him feeling... empty. "...That's--- well. That's... one way the world won't end, then, I guess."

Zim shifted his weight awkwardly in his seat. "...I was going to go back, too."

"...So, this is it, huh?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean? I mean--- it's pretty clear-cut. You're going back home. I'm--- wrapping things up, I guess. It... seems pretty done to me."

"I don't know if they'll let me stay on Irk!" Zim admitted, genuinely panicked. "I might be exiled for failure! I--- might need to come back. Forever." Zim buried his face in his hands. "I don't know what’s going to happen."

Dib blinked, a little taken aback at that, before he simmered down, folding his arms over his knees from where he'd had to cross them and letting out a sigh. "...Sounds like we're actually in the same boat for once, huh?"

"I--- suppose we are," Zim muttered, curling in on himself. "Perhaps you had the right idea."

Gir, not understanding but very concerned, reached over to pat Zim gently. Zim recoiled at the touch, further upsetting Gir, who now looked to Dib pleadingly.

Dib barely knew what to say, sitting for a quiet moment, just gazing out at the city's skyline. After a moment, though, he spoke, sounding tired and drained. "...It's hard to work your whole life for something, and never get it acknowledged, no matter how hard you try. I... get that. A lot."

Zim sighed, turning back to the controls and moving to put the voot runner on the cliff, landing and shutting the engine off. "If I go back to Irk they'll just kill me on the spot anyway..." he slumped in his seat, looking over at Dib. "What happened with your dad-human?"

"I had found something on one of my deer cameras that wasn't a deer," Dib murmured, gazing absently out the window as he spoke. "I went to go investigate it, skipped a class to go catch it, got brought back by a cop for accidentally trespassing, and... he said I was wasting his money on nothing, that he was disappointed in me, and he's probably going to stop paying for my school and make me move somewhere else."

"Oh." Zim frowned. "I thought you hated school."

"I do," Dib sighed. "But... you have to do it to get anywhere in life."

Zim huffed. "You already went to, like. Three schools. How many more do you have to do?"

"One, if not two more, depending on what I want to do," Dib muttered.

"What you want to do is catch monsters," Zim pointed out.

"It doesn't make any money, though," Dib frowned. "And it makes my dad think I'm insane."

Zim scratched idly at his wrist, thinking for a moment. "Why don't you just--- turn me in?" he offered. "That way, you can get what you wanted. You can become famous and wealthy and prove to your father that your words are true."

"It wouldn't work, he'd find some way to deny that it was true, just like he did with everything else," Dib frowned, pausing for a moment. "...Why would you want to get turned in?"

Zim looked at him, grinning. But something about it was... broken. Fake. A bit disturbing. Tears welled in his eyes. "I can fufill the will of my Tallest, which is for me to die on this planet, alone and forgotten."

Dib stared at him for a moment, something twisting in his stomach. That feeling on Zim's face that he'd felt just a few minutes earlier. Seeing on someone else's face cut deeper than he could've ever imagined.

Sheer, unbridled hopelessness.

"...Why would you give them the satisfaction?" Dib asked after a moment of silence. "Especially after they just--- threw you out like trash, all the way out here."

"It--- is the will of the Empire," Zim replied. "Of course. It must certainly be with good reason. And it will help you, Dib. You can win! You can defeat me at last! Won't that be fun? I could finally--- be useful to someone! The one person who paid attention to me, as well! That's what you want, right?" Zim started to laugh, and then broke down crying. How ironic. How cruel.

Dib frowned deeply, shocked lightly into silence, not even knowing where to begin when he started crying. He slumped back against the seat of the voot runner, leaning his head back against it, his mind both numb and racing as he spoke, quiet and heavy. "...Both of our societies gave up on us. We were fighting tooth and nail for ten years, and it didn't even matter, because neither of us could've ever won anyways. It's... kind of fucked up how alike we are at the end of everything, huh? Mortal enemies winding up with the same shitty lot drawn for us."

"Please don't go," Zim finally murmured.

Dib faltered, swallowing thickly. "...What if things just keep falling apart?"

Zim pressed his hands to his forehead. "I don't know, just---Don't leave me alone. Who am I without you?"

"I---" Dib hesitated, going to speak, but stopping, frowning deeply. "...Just--- one Irken alone on Earth, I guess. I..."

Taking in a shaky breath, Dib wiped his face lightly, wiping his hands on his pants. Despite everything--- the years of torment, his life crumbling, everything else weighing on his shoulders--- he spoke, quiet but sure. "...I'm not--- gonna go anywhere."

"Okay." Zim inhaled deeply, nodding. "Good.”

"We've been the only ones either of us have for years, when it really boils down to it, and--- I guess with shit hitting the fan, that still doesn't change," Dib murmured. "...I guess you're gonna--- stop trying to take over the Earth, then?"

"I don't really know what I'm going to do, but probably," Zim replied quietly. "...Do you want to come stay the night at my base?"

"Yeah, that's... probably for the best," Dib murmured. "I don't know how I'd deal with going back home tonight."

With a nod, Zim fired the voot runner back up, heading back to his house.

"We gonna have a sleepover?" Gir asked hopefully.

"Something like that," Zim grumbled. He shot Dib a glare, but all the normal ferocity was drained out of it, leaving him looking more like a sad, grumpy cat. "You will never speak of this to anyone. Understand? Even if you expose me for what I am, you will never expose the fact that I feel things."

"As long as you never tell anybody that I passed up an opportunity to expose you," Dib muttered, his own venom also drained, leaving him little more than being grumbly."It'd suck for my 'cutthroat investigator' thing I have going on."

"Deal."

Zim landed the voot runner in his landing dock beneath the roof of his house, stepping out.

"...No photos."

"My phone's almost dead, anyways," Dib sighed, stepping out with him. Even though this was a completely new room to him, he didn't even have the energy to get out his phone. "No promises next time, though."

"Ehhh." Zim sighed, heading down the stairs sullenly and plopping on the couch.

Gir bolted past him, running in a quick circle through the living room before making his way to the kitchen. "Imma go make WAFFLES for everybody!"

"No soap this time!" Zim managed to yell after him, before flopping over onto his side. "Uuuuuuugh."

After a moment of silence, of Dib just staying leaned back against the couch, he furrowed his brows, just then processing the words. "...He put soap in waffles?"

"Sometimes."

"...Why?"

Zim let out a long, weary sigh. "Because he's a little idiot. But he's my little idiot."

"Huh. ...Alright."

After a moment, Dib frowned, shifting on the couch so he could lean against the arm and wouldn't have to turn his head. "...If I'm moving out of my dad's place, you're probably, uh. Not... gonna see me very often. Since I'll have to get a full-time job."

"Oh." Zim sounded disappointed.

"Yeah." Dib sighed. "I mean... you're not gonna be trying to destroy the world, so, I... guess I probably shouldn't be around as much, anyways."

"You could--- still try to bust me for being an alien," Zim offered. "And I could just cause trouble for the sake of it."

That had Dib blink, lifting his brows lightly. "...Do you--- want me to still be around? I thought you hated me."

"It's like I said," Zim explained quietly. "I don't know who I am without you."

"Oh. That's... yeah," Dib murmured. "...I don't know what I'd do, either, really. I mean--- stopping you is kind of what I've been doing full-time for... god, ten years, probably going on eleven."

Zim curled in on himself. "I don't want things to change."

That had Dib frown deeper, quiet for a somber moment, his shoulders sinking a bit as he settled into the corner of the couch. "...Me neither. I--- kind of thought things never would."

"...Stupid." Zim furrowed his brow, angry at himself. "What a stupid thing to be worried about. What kind of Irken invader would rather keep playing pretend forever than make progress? This is why I was abandoned. They even proved I was a defective. I failed my existence evaluation. I was supposed to be dead. I got away because my data was so corrupt that it fried the control brain."

"Jesus," Dib muttered. "...I mean--- I don't know. I'm not Irken, so my opinion probably doesn't matter that much on it, but... if I thought you weren't a good invader, I wouldn't have spent my whole life trying to stop you."

"If I were a good invader, this planet would not have lasted more than a few months," Zim grumbled.

"Well... maybe that's for the best," Dib pointed out quietly. "I mean, say you did destroy the Earth. What would've happened when you went back?"

"I don't know. Maybe I could have--- made some social advancement? Finally proven myself?" Zim shrugged. "It doesn't matter because it didn't happen. I failed."

"...Did your Tall Overlords want you to succeed?" Dib asked after a moment.

"The Tallest, and no."

"Then... why even worry about it? ...Fuck 'em."

"You couldn't understand."

"Maybe I don't get, like... the intricacies of Irken society, but they set you up for failure, and you failed. That's not your fault. They made it that way."

"Of course they did," Zim said. "And I, as a member of the Irken Empire, am designed to obey their will. If they intended for me to die, then I should have died. To fail to comply is what makes me defective in the first place."

"Maybe they're defective," Dib let out a breath. "Instead of just killing you there, they sent you out here. Seems kind of roundabout for such a straightforward place."

"They thought it would be funny, I think," Zim admitted.

Dib frowned. "I don't think that makes their case look any better.”

"I wish they had just killed me," Zim grumbled, leaning back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. "...It's hard, you know. Not to still want to. I could just---- take my PAK off and smash it. And that would be it. I don't even have to smash it, I could just put it in another room for ten minutes."

"I... get that, trust me," Dib murmured. "...This sucks. Everything sucks."

"...And you. You're so fragile. Humans are so delicate," Zim remarked, his voice lowering to a murmur. "The ease of it... must be torture."

"You have no idea," Dib sighed. "Anything and everything can kill us, so... it's hard to not keep thinking about. Especially with things not looking like they've got a chance to get better any time soon."

"Can you not make amends with your father?"

"I... don't know if I can this time. This was kind of the last straw, seemed like."

"Will you still try?"

That gave Dib pause, his posture faltering a bit. "...Since I'm staying alive, that's probably for the best, yeah."

Zim paused for a long time. "...Your dad means well. His methods are... unfair. And distant. But he does intend to help you. Unlike my own authority figures, he does not actually want you to fail."

"I just... I don't know that I can keep up with it," Dib admitted, frowning deeply. "He might not want me to fail, but the rest of the world does, because if I don't work a full-time job and sell my soul to studying and working in stuff I hate, I... get to die on the streets anyways. That's how it goes."

Zim took a long pause, then glanced up to Dib cautiously, gears in his head turning.

"...What's up?" Dib asked, furrowing his brows.

Zim considered another moment before finally responding. "...Live here."

"I---" Dib blinked owlishly, looking caught off guard. "...What? Really?"

"Yes," Zim agreed. "Live in my home. You never have to be afraid of being out on the street, and I... will never have to be afraid of losing you."

"...Are you sure?" Dib asked, uncertain.

"I am not. Going to lose. ANYTHING ELSE tonight," Zim insisted, surprisingly firm.

"I..." Dib hesitated, but gave a small nod. It was odd, to be sure--- not to mention the last thing Dib would ever expect to hear from the alien menace who was trying to murder him and his whole planet just the day before--- but it wasn't like Dib didn't understand where the guy was coming from. "It's... a deal, then. I'll stay here. Would you, uh... be able to help me move my stuff tomorrow?"

"Consider it done," Zim replied.

"...Thanks, Zim," Dib murmured. "I--- kind of--- never expected this? Or... like. You to do anything... nice for me? So... I really appreciate it."

"Don't get used to it," Zim grumbled. "It is a moment of derangement from a defective Irken that I just happen to be willing to stand by indefinitely."

"You mean you're not just getting soft on me?" Dib teased.

"Of course not!" Zim scoffed, a bit more back to normal now.

"I mean, it was only a matter of time," Dib joked, trying to enjoy as much of the upbeat tone as he could. A nice change of pace, considering everything. "I got tall. And I got a better haircut."

"This means nothing, smelly ape," Zim sneered. "Your ridiculous tallness does not make you respectable, even to an Irken, if you smell."

"Hey! I don't smell!" Dib scoffed, but paused, taking the front of his shirt and smelling it, before letting out a frustrated groan. "Ugh, no, I do. It was raining when I got brought home, and now I've got that awful post-city-rain smell in my clothes."

"Humans use water to clean, yes?" Zim asked, hopping up.

"Well, yeah," Dib agreed, watching him get up with confusion. "...Why?"

"I don't have anything like that. So I'll need to acquire such water cleaning devices if you are to live here," Zim said plainly. "Gir! Put the waffles in the microwave! We will be back shortly!"

"Wait, where are we going to get it?" Dib furrowed his brows, also moving to stand up. He was confused, but he was going to follow along, anyways.

"The Home Depot, obviously," Zim sneered.

"For... what? I'm lost, Zim. You lost me."

"Appliances," Zim replied. "Get with it, Earth Boy."

"I... don't think they're open right now," Dib pointed out. "...We could just go to an all-night laundromat?"

"We're not going to steal from Home Depot when they are open, fool human."

"Oh my god. Of course you're stealing."

"Yes. I am stealing multiple large appliances. Are you joining me?"

"If we get busted and I go to jail for it, am I allowed to punch you in the face for it?"

"No."

"Hmmm. I'm not sure..."

"Pff. Coward."

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Just know, though, that you are getting so punched if we get arrested."

"We won't."

And, by some miracle, they didn't. Bringing along a hilarious pig-shaped carrier trailer, Zim managed to quickly and efficiently rob the hardware store of not only a washer and drier, but a bathtub with a showerhead and a rather delightful shower curtain with little cacti printed on it.

They returned home, and Zim's computer was able to get them set up as well as connected to the plumbing mains in less than an hour. "Huzzah! A smashing success. VICTORY BELONGS TO ZIM OVER BIG BOX HARDWARE CORPORATIONS. And the utility company as well."

"I still can't believe that worked!" Dib remarked, looking thoroughly impressed at how quickly Zim's computer was able to entirely rig up a large bathroom, simply putting the washer and dryer in the corner of it. It needed some decorating, if he ever got around to it, but all in all, it looked pretty good. "And--- how has nobody noticed that you keep doing this?"

"Humans are stupid," Zim teased. "Also once you are out the door, they don't care anymore."

"Huh. You know? That's true," Dib lifted his brows. "I guess now all we gotta do is get my stuff from my room, and I'm all moved in. That's... weird. It's just now really sinking in."

"It will be strange, having another person here," Zim mused. "But that just means I can annoy you whenever it pleases me."

"And I am absolutely gonna take apart any of your weird doomsday weapons I find," Dib pointed out. "With or without telling you if I'm keeping any of it."

"You will do ABSOLUTELY NO SUCH THING," Zim argued. “I’m locking the labs!”

"I will learn how to pick your locks."

"I'm going to steal your hands off your body," Zim grumbled.

"That's fine, I'll manage," Dib replied casually.

Zim gawked at him. "Wh--- OKAY SURE."

"What? People lose hands all the time. Humans shed them every ten years." Half the fun of knowing an alien, in Dib's experience, is that you could say whatever outlandish bullshit you want and he'd believe it about half the time and get flustered the other half.

Zim narrowed his eyes, staring at Dib long and hard. "...That's not true."

"It totally is," Dib shrugged, nonchalant. "Remember when I turned 20 and was out of town for a week? Hand shed."

"YOU HAVE THE SAME HANDS."

"Same... or better?"

"They are the SAME HANDS," Zim insisted, grabbing one of them in his own and pointing to a scar. "This one! I know this has been there since you were fourteen."

That had Dib's brows immediately shoot up. "How did you remember that?"

"I was there when you got it! You tried to grab one of my PAK legs and it sliced your hand."

"I mean--- yeah, I remember that, but--- that was almost ten years ago! Holy shit. I almost even forgot about that."

"I have a good memory," Zim replied. "That was also the first time I saw a serious amount of human blood. It was awful."

"That's right, you screamed for like thirty minutes! It wasn't even that deep of a cut. I had like, three stitches, I think."

Zim nodded sagely. “It was utterly mortifying. Human blood is just as disgusting as the rest of you.”

That managed to earn a tired laugh and head shake from Dib. "Did you wanna go ahead and grab those waffles now? I'm starving."

“Right, the waffles,” Zim said. “GIR! WAFFLES, POSTHASTE!”

Gir appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes flashing red as he saluted. “YES, SIR!”

Immediately back to normal, Gir scrambled to the kitchen, having to scale the counters in order to get into the microwave, but happily produced two plates of food.

The two of them ate Gir's slightly cold waffles, dense and soggy from being ignored but still pretty good when drenched in syrup, coming back out into the living room to watch TV while they ate. Noticing the time, which was very nearly 3:30 in the morning, Zim spoke up. "So. You... need to sleep at some point..."

"At... some point, yeah, probably," Dib replied, taking a sip from a glass of water he'd gotten from the kitchen on their way out. Despite agreeing to sleep, however, he seemed almost tentative to do so. "I've got insomnia, though, so I might just... lay around for a while and vaguely rest."

"I can go do something else so as not to keep you up," Zim offered, gesturing to the elevator to the lab. "I sleep extremely infrequently."

"Nah, it's fine.” Dib shrugged, settling into the couch a little further. "If you just wanna--- I don't know, watch something, that could be cool. I, uh... I don't know if I'll actually be able to sleep tonight."

"Humans have a 24 hour circadian rhythm and lose motor function and cognitive ability when it is neglected," Zim said pointedly. "I'm not going to let you make yourself clumsy and stupid."

"I know that, but I might not be able to." Dib huffed indignantly. "Insomnia keeps people from sleeping for long periods of time. It's a mental illness thing. I might just have to ride it out until I pass out, which has definitely happened before."

"That sounds absolutely awful."

"It is absolutely awful."

"Is there truly nothing to be done about it?"

"I mean, I have medication for it, but I left it home, because I, uh. Didn't... think I'd need it anymore."

"I suppose you will have to acquire it tomorrow..."

"Yeah. Still... don't know how I'm gonna deal with that."

"...Well. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"I'm gonna have to try, at least."

Zim frowned contemplatively, pausing for a long moment. "...This is odd, isn't it? Being friends? It feels so foreign and yet... somehow the same."

"It's weird to think about," Dib murmured. "I mean--- I... guess it is kind of the same, but we try to kill each other less often."

"...Were we always friends?"

"We... might have been. This whole time. And... didn't even realize it?"

Zim barked a laugh. "The only reason I kept trying to fight you is because it was fun!"

That had Dib snickering as well, surprised. "Seriously? I thought you were just a menace to society, and I was always the first one to notice!"

"I got so caught up in making everything so personal towards YOU that my plots became--- pretty small-scale, actually!"

"...Holy shit. I didn't even realize that, now that you mention it, but you're right! How did I not notice that?"

Zim actually laughed, genuinely entertained, shaking his head. "I didn't either!"

"I guess we were so caught up in ruining each other's plans, that we never got anything done!" Dib gave a laugh of his own. "Man, that is dumb. We're kind of dumb, Zim."

"Ahhhh yeah." Zim sighed, still smiling. "I'm an idiot. This is why I got fired."

"And why I got kicked out," Dib agreed. "At least we've contained our stupid bullshit to one house."

"And I can support your human needs through high-tech crime. Now we have all the time in the world to drive each other mad," Zim teased.

"It's just a waiting game to see who loses their mind first, at this point," Dib joked.

"I think we both lost that game."

"Aw, man. I was hoping I had that one."

"Hah! As if you could ever truly defeat me," Zim teased.

"I did defeat you, though," Dib snickered, folding his arms across his chest.

"How so, precisely?"

"I got you so attached to me that you saved my life instead of killing me. Checkmate, Zim."

"I got you so attached to me that you came to live in my house instead of jumping off a cliff!!"

"...Aw, goddamn it."

Zim stood so that he could be at eye level with Dib. "You're so attached to me that you're willing to spend every minute of your life around me. I think I'm the winner of this one."

"Yeah?" Dib lifted a skeptical brow, sitting a little more upright. "Well you're so attached to me that you're staying on a planet you mostly hate to stay around me. So, I think I might still have you there!"

"I bet you spend time thinking about me when I'm not around," Zim teased, smug.

"I know you spend time thinking about me when I'm not around," Dib teased back. "You made your plans around me!"

"You kept trying to break into my house!"

"You came to my house first when there were problems you couldn't solve!"

Zim’s haughty grin grew wider, and he crossed his arms. "You dream about me."

"Oh my god I do not."

"YOU DO THOUGH."

"PROVE IT!"

"One time," Zim recalled, "I went to plant a bug in your house for one of my schemes. It was... a few years ago, I can't remember what it was about. But you said my name in your sleep while I was going past your room."

"What?" Dib gawked at him, his face turning thoroughly red. "No."

"You did. I heard it. I even caught it on the bug I placed. I have it recorded."

"Zim you have to delete that, oh my god."

"I honestly have no idea where it is," Zim admitted. "What were you dreaming?"

"It was a few years ago!" Dib threw up his arms. "I don't remember!" That was a lie. He absolutely remembered, and had that memory under a mental padlock.

"Well, it was about me, obviously, so I win," Zim teased, grinning. "Even though I know when you lie."

"I'm not lying! I basically forget all my dreams after the night ends," Dib rolled his eyes. "And also, by the way, you're the worst."

"Yes, but I won."

"Yeah, won at being the worst."

"How often do you dream about me, Dib?" Zim teased, egging him on.

"Literally not at all except nightmares," Dib remarked.

"That's not what that dream sounded like," Zim laughed and mussed Dib’s hair playfully.

"This is a nightmare," Dib groaned, swatting Zim's hand away.

"Just tell me and I'll stop bothering you about it."

"I will sooner die than tell you about that."

"OH-HOH SO IT WAS A GOOD DREAM."

"I LITERALLY DID NOT SAY THAT."

"Tell meeeeeeeeeeee~"

"Okay! Whatever! Fine! We were deep-sea explorers. Yep. That's all there is to it. Now we can move on from this awful conversation. Satisfied?"

Still standing over Dib's lap, Zim reached out abruptly and grabbed Dib's chin, making the other man look up at him, gazing down with a strange look in his eyes that was hard to read due to their lack of detail. His voice was low, the tone of it surprisingly intense. "Are you certain that's all it was...?"

Dib blinked owlishly, his heart feeling like it dropped in his chest, and his throat got frustratingly dry. "Wh--- yes?"

"Hmph." Zim let go, sitting back down. "That's a shame."

"Why?" Dib asked, looking exceptionally bewildered at this point.

"I thought you were dreaming of… something else.”

"Oh my god, dude," Dib muttered, his face thoroughly red with embarrassment. "No. Just--- what? Why would it be a shame if I wasn't? I literally do not understand what's happening right now."

"Hah. Alright," Zim agreed. "I was just messing with you, anyways." He flushed, a little embarrassed himself now that it didn't go over the way he'd hoped.

"Wait, your face is greener than usual," Dib pressed, lifting his brows. "Holy shit. Were you actually---"

"NO I WASN'T," Zim barked, cutting him off.

"You totally were!"

"Well, you weren't interested so let's forget that it happened!"

"I--- well, I mean."

"MAKE UP YOUR MIND."

"UGH I DON'T KNOW THIS IS STUPID."

"IT IS SO LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT IT."

"ZIM WERE YOU TRYING TO GET INTO MY PANTS DUDE?"

"STOP TALKIIIIING!!!"

"LITERALLY ANSWER THE QUESTION. YOU STARTED THIS!"

Zim let out a long, theatrical groan. "I WAS TESTING TO SEE IF YOU SEEMED INTERESTED! YOU DIDN'T SO IT'S OVER! I AM EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED AND NOT ACTING RIGHT. GIVE ME A BREAK."

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO GET A RISE OUT OF ME TO MAKE FUN OF ME IF I DID!"

"STOP! MAKING THIS! WEIRDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE!"

"I AM LITERALLY JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS OR JUST BEING A DICK!"

"I ALREADY ANSWERED THAT PAY ATTENTION."

"IT WAS A WISHY-WASHY ANSWER AND I STILL DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE BEING LEGITIMATE!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAGUGH! GRAAAH! SHUT UP!" Zim grabbed a pillow from the couch, smacking Dib with it. "I don't! Know! I feel weird! I'm being stupid! Just leave me alone!"

"Listen," Dib started, taking in a frazzled breath. "If I was gonna have a fling with my mortal enemy, I might as well do it while I'm still a half-step out of the door of throwing my body off a cliff! So what do you want to do?"

"Not a ffffffling!" Zim blurted out, then fell silent, staring at him, embarrassed, before looking away.

"W---wait," Dib got quieter, looking embarrassed, concerned, and a little shocked. "...Did you want--- more? But I thought you---"

"Don't ask me anymore," Zim interrupted. "Don't ruin this. Things were okay. We were okay."

"I..." Dib hesitated, but swallowed lightly. "...Okay. I--- won't ask. Sorry."

Zim, however, was already upset again, hugging his knees. He shouldn't have done that. He had been trying to be smooth and theatrical, but instead he made a fool of himself and made Dib uncomfortable. He already ruined everything. What was wrong with him? Why would Dib want that with him? Why couldn't he have been content to just be friends?

Dib was nervous, slumping back into the couch. What was going on? He thought the two had just started being friends. He'd had that dream, and admittedly, others, but he'd always just shoved it aside as something impossible. Improbably. It wasn't able to happen, and it shouldn't even have been on his radar.

And now, all of a sudden, here it was, right in front of him.

"Hey, Zim," Dib murmured after a long moment of contemplation, clearing his throat gently. "Can I... make a suggestion?"

Zim didn’t look up from where he was staring at the floor. "Mmm."

"I've... got a lot on my mind right now. Mostly about talking to my dad. I'm honestly so stressed I could throw up. But... tomorrow, we could... talk about this again. Not screaming at each other. Maybe... with lunch or something?"

After a long pause, Zim nodded slowly. "...If you want. I'm not--- myself tonight."

"I'm... not really, either. ...If it's not too weird, though, I'm gonna be stuck up all night, and--- I'd prefer not to be alone. If that's cool."

Zim glanced over at last, letting out a sigh. "I'll stay. ...You have my apologies for the outburst."

"You're fine," Dib assured him quietly. "It's been a rough night, huh?"

"It has."

"...I'm sorry, Zim."

"For what?"

"Just--- being all over the place. I don't know."

"I'm no better," Zim assured him. "One minute we're having fun, then we’re yelling."

"And just before that, we're both falling apart," Dib added with a weak huff of a laugh. "We're wrecks."

Zim exhaled, his brows shooting up and his eyes rolling. "Emotions are stupid, and ridiculous, and I hate them, I think."

"Join the club," Dib teased. "I've been hating them for years. That's just how it is."

"...Let's watch a movie. Something stupid."

Dib laughed. "That sounds great."

Settling in from the roughest nights of their lives, it seemed, Zim and Dib watched some horrible sci-fi movies that played at this late hour of the night, talking about nothing at all. True to his word, Dib hadn't been able to sleep at all, even with how exhausted he visibly got. He'd gone longer stretches, though, so until he got his medication, he'd be fine.

Once the afternoon came, though, and the Membrane household was empty, the two went in, moving all of Dib's stuff out with ease. Zim had gone home to cram all the boxes into a room that the Computer had modified into the home, and Dib remained, only having to wait for a while before the door opened, revealing his father, who, true to his word, came home early from work.

Dib was already at the table, though, glancing up from his phone, looking like a hot mess, but he was awake. This wasn't anything like his normal insomnia exhaustion, though--- the memory from the previous night left him more grim than that, something somber and crestfallen.

"Hey, Dad," Dib greeted him, barely more than a tired murmur. "I thought about last night, like you said to."

"Dib," Professor Membrane murmured, both surprised and relieved. "You never came home last night. Gaz said she saw you run off. ...I was worried about you."

"I just went for a drive and--- thought about stuff for the night," Dib muttered, skirting around that, not managing to do so as smoothly as he meant to. "...I'm moving out with a friend, Dad. You--- were right. I know I've been wasting your time and resources with my stuff, and I'm not going to anymore. You deserve to have more time for your work and the kid that isn't dead-set on being disappointing, so--- I'll be around, but I'm not gonna be a problem anymore."

Even behind the goggles and collar, Professor Membrane was visibly frowning, his brow furrowed. "Dib, you're--- I appreciate what you're trying to do. And I'm proud of you for taking the initiative to live on your own," Professor Membrane said. "But I also want to apologize for some of the things I said."

"I..." Dib faltered, frowning. "...Really? I--- I mean. None of it was... really wrong, though. Like--- I get it. I do."

"It was--- more the way I said it," Membrane confessed. "I was angry. I want you to succeed and have a good career. You're so smart, Dib. You have such potential for greatness. But you've always been so isolated from other people, and I'm not the most present parent, and I know how damaging that has been to your mental health. I’m just trying to help you find some stability. But… scaring you like I did last night, making you worry about your ability to afford school or where you’re going to live, that was… not conducive to that. I’m sorry."

Dib crumpled a bit at that, thread that his determination had been hanging from starting to fray. He wanted to be angry--- he wanted to be furious, still, but... he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried.

"I just--- all I've ever needed was your support, Dad," Dib murmured, quiet, clearly still hurt, but trying to manage. "I just--- I know you care, but--- sometimes it's hard to see. Like--- last night. I... I almost..."

Dib took in a breath, not wanting to go there, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm--- gonna get more consistent about school, but, I just... I just wish you would listen to me sometimes. Even just humor me. I know you don't believe any of this stuff, but--- it's always been important to me, and--- I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm just... alone in the world, because I don't make a lot of sense, and everybody's just decided that I'm a crazy guy. That... includes you, a lot of the time."

"I don't think you're crazy, I just disagree with your theories," Professor Membrane said coolly. "...Scientists are permitted to disagree, is this not so?"

"But it's--- every time I talk about it," Dib murmured. "It... doesn't even really matter that much."

"I do view your work as science," Professor Membrane clarified.

"Do you?" Dib asked, frowning gently. "...It doesn't feel that way sometimes."

"I don't... agree with it, I do genuinely think your theories are incorrect, but it is scientific work. You are attempting to prove a theory," he explained, folding his hands on the table. "I don't like the circles you operate in, and I do think that sometimes your interest in this subject matter is taken advantage of by others at times, but at base level, you are trying to generate evidence to prove theories. I have an academic disagreement with you, as I have even with my own colleagues. That doesn’t mean I think there’s anything wrong with you on a personal level, but as your father I also want to see you be successful, respected, and stable, and… I think sometimes those sentiments blend poorly. ...Emotions are not really my strong suit."

Dib gave a small nod in a breath. He didn't know if that actually helped or not, but at least it made more sense now, if nothing else. "I... think something that--- I'm gonna try to work on, and... would appreciate it if you tried, too, is... talking to each other a little clearer. A little calmer. I... wound up in a really dark place from last night, and--- I kind of felt like you were going to disown me, at this rate."

"No, of course not. I was--- considering encouraging you to get your own place, in hopes that it would help you become more responsible, but you beat me to it, and I'm very proud that you did that," Professor Membrane replied. "I'm... sorry I made you feel that way. I realize I was harsh. I don't like seeing you skip class and come home with the police, you know."

"I'm sorry for skipping class, and--- I legitimately didn't mean to trespass," Dib sighed.

"Just try to stay out of trouble," Professor Membrane said. "...Thank you for talking to me. I... don't know what I would have done if you had just disappeared."

Wow, that put a new, heavier weight of guilt on his shoulders. "I'm... I'm sorry if I worried you, Dad."

"It's okay. You're here now. That's what matters. I'm sorry, my boy. I hope you can forgive me for scaring you last night. You are far from disowned and I will continue helping you with school as long as you go to class," Professor Membrane said. "Who did you move in with?"

"I... you know, it's a friend from school, actually, I don't know if I've mentioned him," Dib cracked a light, awkward smile. His father had made it pretty clear the night before how he felt about Zim, so better to save that discussion for another day. "Let me get settled in, and I'll let you come see the place."

"Very good! I look forward to it. Did you move out while I was working?"

"Yeah, I, uh... was worried about our talk going bad. So, I just... figured I should pack up and get things in motion, just in case." Dib couldn’t help but look a bit guilty at that.

"My, how efficient. It would have made for a rather sound 'stick it to the old man' gesture, had I continued being a jerk," Professor Membrane teased.

"I was just stressed out!" Dib gave an embarrassed laugh. "I forgot my sleep meds and haven't slept iiiiin.... uh.... an amount of time I'm embarrassed to say. So I haven't exactly been thinking clearly!"

"Dib, for goodness sake," Professor Membrane said, laughing. "Make sure you get some rest tonight, then!"

"I'll try," Dib gave a tired laugh. "...Thanks for talking to me about this, Dad."

"Same to you, my boy," Membrane agreed. He stood, lingering.

Dib stood up as well, noticing him stick around for an extra moment, lifting a brow. "...Something still on your mind?"

Professor Membrane paused for a beat, then pulled Dib into a tight hug.

Dib was a little caught off guard, but once he'd had time to react, he hugged back, letting out a light breath that he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

"I love you, son," he said. "No matter what."

"I--- love you too, Dad," Dib murmured. "Thanks for being here for me."

"You should let your sister know you're alright," Membrane murmured.

"I was planning on texting her as soon as I got back," Dib assured him. "I, uh. Forgot my phone charger last night, and it died on me."

"Good idea." Professor Membrane finally released Dib. "I should let you get going."

"I'll let you know when I get settled in," Dib assured him. "I'll see you later, Dad."

"Have a good evening."

With that, he saw himself out with his last backpack full of things in tow, headed back to Zim's house. It only took him an extra moment to grab the last tote of his things, pausing at the gnomes in his front yard. When a tentative step didn't set them off, he scurried to the door, opening it and calling into the home.

"Hey, Zim, uh--- I talked to my dad, things suck less, and I have all my stuff!" Dib spoke loudly when he didn't find the Irken in the living room. "Where are you?"

Zim didn't answer. The house was quiet.

Dib paused for a moment, sitting his things aside and peeking in the kitchen for him. ...Huh. No signs anywhere. Where did he go?

He must have been in the basement.

He knew Zim said he wasn't allowed down there, but he moved to step in the trash-can elevator anyways, steadying his footing as it lurched and started moving downwards. It was tight--- clearly not made for someone of his size--- before he hit the bottom of it, stepping out into the quiet laboratory.

"...Zim? You in here?" Dib called, tentative and, quite frankly, a little nervous, at this point. "I'm moved in all the way."

Gir sat near the elevator, plugged into something. His eyes seemed to be glowing green now, running a battery-charging animation, but Gir himself was inactive. Zim was still nowhere to be seen. What was going on? He'd never seen Gir stop to charge.

Dib hesitated a moment, a spike of anxiety shooting up from his stomach into his throat, but stepped further into the labs, calling after Zim and beginning to search the individual rooms. The longer Zim was absent, the more frantic his searching got, his pace picking up as he moved through the sections of the lab, starting to fret more and more as every minute passed. Where was he?

Finally, Dib came upon Zim deep, deep in the labs, curled up in a corner, wheezing softly. He was staring wide-eyed at the wall, looking haunted. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself, hugging his knees.

The second Dib caught eye of him, he rushed over, nearly slamming his knees on the floor to get to him as quickly as he could. "Zim--- Zim!? Holy shit, I'm so sorry I was gone for an extra minute, I--- what happened!?

"I---" Zim murmured. "I don't know. I just. I don't know."

"Hey, it's okay, everything's gonna be fine," Dib assured him, quickly and quietly, folding his legs under him so he could sit beside him. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I don't---" Zim swallowed. "I shouldn't be alive, Dib. I'm--- made wrong."

"You have every right to be alive, Zim," Dib insisted. "You function right, just--- not the way the Tallests want, but you're alive, and you're a person. You deserve to be alive."

"I don't WANT THIS," Zim cried out, raising his voice very sharply. "I can't STAND IT ANYMORE. This--- tightness in my chest, this constant, obsessive need for companionship and validation and repeated failure to receive or deserve it. I can't do it! I can't TAKE it! I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS, I CAN'T JUSTIFY MY EXISTENCE, I WANT IT TO STOP."

"Zim. Zim! Listen!" Dib urged him softly, shifting to sit directly in front of him, lifting his hands to the Irken's shoulders. "You deserve companionship. You deserve to have people around you who care. I--- if you would've asked me a week ago, I would've laughed, but--- I really do care about you, Zim. I'm here for you. You don't have to justify anything to me, okay? We're in this together."

Zim's eyes filled with tears, finally looking at Dib, filled with despair. "All I ever wanted was to do something right, and to be loved. I will never... I won't... ever..." He wheezed a weary, rough cough, his PAK falling out from in between his chest and his knees.

Dib's eyes widened at the sight of the PAK dropping, horror lighting up his face. Oh, god. Oh no. This was it. Zim had mentioned this just last night--- this was a way for him to die.

Zim was trying to die.

The thought alone made Dib's stomach tie in knots, and his heart sink in his chest.

Ten minutes. That’s how long Zim could be detached from his PAK. How long had it been off?

"Zim, what---" Dib took the PAK from where it'd fallen, holding onto it gently, furrowing his brows and looking mortified. "You--- have to put this back on, what are you doing?"

"Anything to make it stop," Zim murmured, curling up tighter. "Make it stop."

Dib hesitated, barely knowing what to do at first, before his instincts pushed him on. There were no mortal enemies here, not even awkward friends, but two people who had been cast out from their societies, and even despite his mended relationship with his father,Zim was really the only person who had truly been through hell with him. His father and Gaz had other people in their lives of value, but he and Zim?

They were the only other real connection either of them had.

And without a second thought, PAK still in hand, Dib tugged Zim close, catching him in a tight, unbudging hug, pressing the PAK to his back and just holding the shorter man as close to him as he could, his shoulders shaking a bit. When had he started crying? He didn't know, but he wasn't going to let go of Zim, that was one of the only things he was sure of right now.

The timer in Zim's head ceased ticking. He took in a sharp breath as his PAK reattached. At first, he wanted to punch Dib. He had been less than a minute away. But then, the fact that Dib's shoulders were trembling set in, and Zim came to a horrible realization.

He had very nearly done to Dib, what Dib had done to him the night before.

Wrapping his arms around Dib's shoulders, he held the other man close. "...I--- I'm sorry."

"Please don't go," Dib murmured quietly and shakily into Zim's shoulder, where he held the Irken close to him, echoing the words from just the other night. "You--- you said it before, and I didn't realize it was the same for me too, but, I--- I don't know who I am without you."

"I'm sorry." Zim clung tighter, fingers curling in Dib's shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"You're still here," Dib let out a breath, holding him just a bit tighter. "You're alive, that's--- all that matters."

Zim took a heavy breath, trying to calm down. "I... don't want to die. I just want the pain to stop."

"I'm here for you," Dib murmured quietly, pulling back to look at him. "I--- No matter what happens, Zim, I'm gonna be here for you, okay? Even if it's us against the universe."

"I just… I don’t know… if I can get what I need," Zim confessed.

"What do you need?" Dib asked, quiet but earnest.

Zim's eyes seemed to search Dib's for answers. He looked uncertain. But something in that look told Dib exactly what Zim needed.

Dib looked back at Zim for a long, quiet moment, reading his face for as much sincerity as he could find. He wasn't kidding last night. What Dib wasn't sure if was a joke or not turned out to not only be true, but intensely so.

And the thing that surprised Dib the most was one thought that hit his mind like a rock, and that one alone.

What was closer to love than needing one another to live?

Dib's heart thrummed in his chest, and he was quiet for a long moment, not knowing what to say. There was endless emotion behind his eyes--- feelings that he couldn't even begin to translate into words, not even if he tried. And, in a fit of desperation to convey those feelings, impulse pushed him to do something that would've mortified him before.

Putting his fingers in Zim's collar, he yanked the Irken forward, catching him in a kiss that spoke volumes that he couldn't say: the intensity, desperation, nervousness, need that raced through his mind out of control, all conveyed in one rushed gesture he hadn't even had time to process that left Dib's head spinning.

Zim whimpered quietly, tears streaming down his face. He kissed Dib back as deeply as he could, pouring all of his own emotions into it. Love, fear, hope. All he could do was hold on tight, and show Dib his love. Like it was the end of the world.

His small hands settled lightly on either side of Dib's face, his lips parting just a bit. An invitation.

Dib tilted his head to mesh deeper into the kiss, swiping his tongue across Zim’s upper lip, his own hands settling at the other's waist and keeping him close. He'd shared kisses before with people--- not many, but just a few--- but this one was unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. This was raw, unfiltered emotion, both of them holding on to one another as though they were the last thing in the world, and he didn't even begin to want to let go.

Zim's own tongue brushed across Dib's, slender and pointed with ridges at equal intervals. Dib's tongue was soft, and oddly textured to Zim, making the sensation exciting to him and having him coming back for more.

The feeling was mutual, Zim's oddly segmented tongue making something flutter in Dib's chest, and as their tongues mingled, he found himself pressing closer, aching for more contact. Had he gotten a bit touch-starved? He hadn't noticed it, but with how overwhelmed and desperate he was for as much contact as he could get, he supposed he must've been.

Zim was happy to oblige, running his hands up and down Dib's chest, which had gotten extremely long and broad. God, he was so fucking tall. It was outrageously hot. Things were escalating a bit out of hand, and it was terribly strange to have been so close to death and then launch full-throttle into intimacy, but Zim was running high on too much emotion and quite frankly couldn’t bring himself to care.

A shaky breath escaped Dib at the touches, relishing in each and every one of them. After a few moments, he wound up scooting across the floor in his seated position to lean himself against the opposite wall of the corner they were in. He made sure to urge Zim along with him, not wanting to even begin to break the kiss for a moment.

Zim was more than willing to press up against Dib, pinning him to the wall. Outlandishly tall and wanting him be dominant? Zim was liable to be spoiled.

Dib couldn't help the small whimper that escaped him when he was pinned; it wasn't a bad sound by any means, though, but quite the opposite. He practically melted into the touches, head fuzzy and breath short as he finally had to break the kiss, or else he might've passed out. He couldn't say the temptation wasn't there, though.

Zim sighed, leaning into him, nuzzling Dib's neck. "...Not here. Upstairs."

Dib's heart hammered in his chest, but he swallowed lightly, trying to collect himself, then, before speaking up breathlessly. "What're we waiting for, then?"

"Agreed," Zim murmured, then stopped, pressing his head to Dib's chest, antennae twitching. "What's that sound?"

"Wh--- that? It's my heart," Dib murmured, not budging for a moment, just letting Zim listen. "Kind of loud right now because--- all that."

"An organ is making that noise?" Zim kept listening to it. The pounding made his head throb pleasantly.

"One of the most important ones," Dib agreed, letting out a light, shaky breath as he started to reel himself back in, the beat of his heart stabilizing just a bit as the adrenaline leveled out, even if just a bit. "Do Irken hearts not do that?"
"We do not have them," Zim said. "For the most part, we just have the one super-organ. I believe I have mentioned it."

"Is that--- what a squeedlyspooch is?"

"Yes, it performs all essential functions except for those performed by the brain and the PAK, which are essentially the same anyway," Zim explained, then caught himself. "...Sorry, I'm getting technical. I'll--- tell you more later. Let's go upstairs."

"I wanna hear more later, for sure," Dib agreed, sliding himself out from where Zim was leaned against him, helping him up in the process, and following him closely as the two made their ways upstairs, stepping around Gir carefully. Didn't want to wake him up with all this going on, after all.

Zim eagerly led the way to the bedroom that had been created for Dib, pushing himself up onto his PAK legs to meet Dib's eyes and push him onto the bed.

The PAK legs were something that used to always fill Dib with immediate dread, but now, somehow, that was mixed with excitement, especially as he was pushed back, leaving him falling back onto the unmade bed. Since when was Zim that strong? Had he gotten stronger, or had he been holding back, in their previous altercations?

Zim placed himself overtop of Dib, PAK legs jamming themselves into the walls to create the look of a cage. He watched Dib's reactions carefully, trying to figure out just how adventurous he was.

The only thing that seemed to alarm him was the initial crash, but despite the startled look, his posture looked excited, and the return of his thrumming heartbeat came nearly immediately, leaving him swallowing thickly, mumbling under his breath. "Holy shit."

Zim desperately wanted to look cocky, but that thumping in Dib's chest was... absolutely incredible. He couldn't place why. Part of it, he supposed, was the fact that he could feel it a bit in his own body when it picked up. Which gave him an idea. Scooting forward, he pressed his entire body up against Dib's torso to hear and feel it as much as he could, pulling Dib into another kiss.

Dib meshed into the kiss eagerly, letting out a shaky breath through his nose, his hands moving up to hold onto where the PAK legs emerged from the device on Zim's back, needing to latch onto something. The cold metal in contrast to Zim's body, which seemed to be a little chillier than room temperature, was something that excited him more than he'd like to say.

Zim ran his hands through Dib's hair with a soft groan, his tongue slipping past Dib's lips again, craving more of Dib's foreign human softness.

Dib relished in everything Zim had for him, pulling him down to keep him as close as possible as he brushed his tongue over Zim's own, his head hazy as the heat picked up between the two, faster than he'd expected it to start picking up.

Zim pulled back from the kiss with a grunt. "I can't take my clothes off with the PAK legs out. Let go for a moment so I don't cut your hand."

"Alright," Dib agreed breathily, sitting up a bit as well, taking the moment to hastily shed off his own shirt, tossing it aside haphazardly and taking his glasses off. They'd been knocked askew several times, and the last thing he needed was a rogue glasses-arm jabbing him in the ear and ruining the moment.

Zim's PAK legs slid back into their housing, and Zim quickly removed his tunic first, then kicked off his boots and peeled away his tight leggings, revealing he wore nothing underneath. It wouldn't seem that he needed to--- apparently his genitals were normally kept in some sort of pouch on his lower abdomen. However, Zim was already fully aroused, his distinctive appendage already out of hiding and very erect.

A pointed head with slightly flared edges crowned a shaft with enticing ridges along the top and bottom.

Dib had only started shuffling out of his pants when Zim had finished getting out of his own clothes, and he was stopped in his tracks by the sight, almost mesmerized by it for a moment. Holy shit, that was not like anything he'd ever seen before, and just a moment of looking was enough motivation for him to finish shuffling off his pants and kick off his shoes. He absolutely needed to hurry up and find out what that thing was capable of.

Zim huffed a laugh. "Like what you see, eh?"

"Never seen anything like it," Dib murmured, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. "I mean--- guess that's par for the course for you, though, huh?"

"Just as softness is for you," Zim purred, his now-gloveless hands sliding down Dib's newly bare chest. He ran his thumbs over a pair of scars underneath Dib's nipples. "More scars..."

"Just had normal surgery there a while back," Dib assured him, letting out a little breath at the touches. "They're sensitive still, though."

"I thought they looked surgicall," Zim mused, moving to kiss Dib's neck, sucking and biting a little just to see how he liked it.

Dib let out a shaky breath, tipping his head up to give Zim more access to his neck. It was clear that the sucking and biting were very welcome, to say the least.

As Zim deepened his suction on Dib's neck, he made an absolutely magical discovery. He found a spot where he could feel Dib's pulse on his tongue. Clearly excited about it, he paid the spot extra attention, antennae twitching in delight.

The ridged tongue on his skin pulled a groan from Dib's throat, his hands finding their way up to Zim's shoulders, simply settling their and rubbing softly, up his neck, as well as along his jawline, trying to feel as much of Zim as he possibly could while Zim busied himself.

Sighing with arousal, Zim finally managed to pull himself away. "Ready for more...?"

"God, yes," Dib murmured breathily, just a little hazy from the adrenaline and arousal already. "Ready if you are."

Zim smiled, wryly, running a thumb over the mark he'd made with his mouth. "This spot turned purple. Now everyone will know you belong to me."

Dib let out a light huff of air as Zim touched it, the spot still overly sensitive, but couldn't help but find himself delighting in it. “Good,” he murmured heatedly.

Oh, the tone of Dib's voice sent a shiver down Zim's spine. That was good to know. Zim moved back a bit, tugging at the last small article of clothing on Dib's body, wanting it off.

Dib obliged easily, helping Zim get off his boxers and casting them aside without a second thought, a shudder running up his spine as the cold of the room met his most sensitive parts. "Wow, you keep it--- kind of cold in here, huh?"

"No, you're just naked," Zim teased. With interest, Zim took a look at what he'd be working with. Dib also seemed to have an opening down there, but it didn't seem to contain anything the way his did. Not yet, at least. Zim would be more than happy to rectify that. But given that it was foreign to him, he figured it might be wise to ask anyway, lest he go shoving appendages where they do not belong. "What, ah, would feel good for you?"

"Um--- I mean, just usual, ah. Penetration, that tends to be good," Dib explained, figuring Zim knew what he meant.

"Alright, that's what it looked like, but I didn't want to do anything without asking," Zim agreed, laughing quietly with the slight embarrassment of needing to ask.

"Nah, you got it." Dib grinned sheepishly up at him. "You're all good to go. And, y'know, like--- don't feel like you have to hold back. "

Scooting closer, Zim pressed into Dib with a soft grunt of sensitivity, having been quite fired up by this point. He let out a heady sigh. Dib was soft there, too. Everything about humans was unreasonably soft, even on gangly, angular humans like Dib. It was to die for.

Dib let out a groan as the strange, foreign member pressed into him, already very sensitive at this point. It was hard not to be absurdly riled up by all this, really, and the strange shape and pleasant ridges on the underside did wonders for brushing past all the right places. For such a cold-skinned being, that was fairly warm, and that alone made Dib's heart skip an embarrassing beat in excitement.

Once Zim was securely inside of Dib, he began to rock his hips with gusto. After all, Dib did say not to hold back. He leaned forward onto Dib, hoping to feel that delicious heartbeat pound against his chest. It wasn’t as though he could get his head much higher than that, anyway.

"O-oh holy shit," Dib whimpered, holding onto Zim tight as he moved, his head swimming with pleasure and his heart pounding in his chest, quietly delighted that the sound was enhancing the experience so much for Zim. Desperate for as much friction as possible, Dib rocked his hips in tandem with his partner, his eyes falling closed.

Zim chewed his lip, enjoying the intensity of Dib's heartbeat and picking up both the speed and the force of his thrusts. "Hey," he purred, wearing a devilish smirk. "Want to see something cool?"

"Hm?" Dib lifted his brows, having to stifle a moan before he could get himself together enough to respond. "Y--- yeah, hit me."

Zim's grin widened. And, with the slightest exertion of a muscle, so did the girth of his shaft.

"O--- oh holyshitwhatthefuuuuck," Dib gasped, the pressure feeling tighter than before. Did it just grow? How was that possible? Dib had no time to question it, but it felt amazing, leaving him with a hand over his mouth, barely able to stop the sheer amount of pleasured sounds that spilled from him. It was a miracle he was still holding on, at this rate.

"I'm adjustable," Zim bragged, giving a sound thrust of his hips. "You like it?"

"It's what? Oh my god, dude." Dib let out a shuddering sigh, head swimming. "That is so fucking cool."

Pressing down on Dib's hips, Zim got back down to business, a bit slower due to the size but with just as much enthusiasm. There was nary a complaint from Dib, who was left in shambles and unable to speak. It only took a short matter of time before a pleasant tension began to build up in his abdomen.

And, with a hazy, lust-driven mind, he had just enough confidence to ask something he would've been petrified to even bring up.

"Zim, I--- I got something that might be good," Dib murmured breathily, fighting to keep his voice steady. And, with a movement to take his clawed hand, he lifted it up to his throat, swallowing thickly. "I--- want you to, ah, take my breath away while we finish, if you catch my drift---"

Zim's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh. Yes, I do," he agreed. "Hold onto me tightly, then."

Dib complied, wrapping his hands around Zim’s thighs, his heart pounding with anticipation. Oh, holy shit, he'd only ever experimented with this a little bit on his own, he couldn't believe he was actually getting around to actually getting someone to do it for him.

Once Dib had a good grip on him, Zim pressed his hands down onto Dib's throat, gently at first, then a little harder, continue to grind into him slowly with his hips while keeping a close eye on the tightness of Dib's grasp. If he threatened to let go, that would be Zim's cue to stop.

It only took a moment for Dib to feel the lack of air start to burn his lungs, the continued thrusts and the sensation of breathlessness making his core feel molten. By the time orgasm was teetering at the brink, a dark fuzziness crept at the corners of his eyes.

A clear sign that it was time to let his fingers slip from Zim a little bit to get let go, before he actually wound up passing out.

Zim immediately released his own grip when Dib's fingers started to slip, speeding up his thrusts to work Dib up to his end.

Air refilling his lungs quickly with a gasp, paired with the fast thrusts feeling like they were slamming into him, was all it took to push Dib past the brink.

Arching his back, Dib’s body tightened. His head swam. His fingernails dug into Zim’s back, causing him to hiss. His heartbeat thrummed loudly in his chest, the pulsing, like a drumbeat, still ringing in Zim’s antennae. Everything went white.

As Dib came down from his orgasm, he breathed heavily, letting his head slump back against the mattress, not even concerned about the dense, pinkish mess on his stomach. Instead, he just mumbled, sounding as hazy as he looked. "Oh... my god, Zim. That was... goddamn."

Zim sighed, falling into bed beside Dib quietly. "Yeah," he murmured, snuggling up. "...It's funny, isn't it?"

"Which part?" Dib gave a breathy chuckle.

"The whole thing," Zim said. "How we went so rapidly from... that to this."

"Intense emotions will make you do crazy shit,” Dib reasoned, shrugging. “I don’t really know how it happened either. But I’m not exactly complaining.”

"I was in absolutely no position to be doing anything like this, but---" Zim laughed, a bit bitter. "I guess there's nothing quite like... going at it like your life is about to end, eh?"

Dib frowned gently, for a contemplative moment, before he tucked his head overtop Zim's own. "Yep. Aaaand now you're stuck with me, so you can't go trying to die again. A once-in-a-lifetime happening. Sorry, buddy."

"Hah." Zim nuzzled closer. "You're absolutely ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous," Dib murmured sleepily. "...Hey, I'm... really glad you're still here, though."

"Same to you," Zim murmured. "...You didn't just kiss me because I was having a breakdown, did you?"

"No," Dib replied quietly. "I just--- I was feeling a lot of things at the moment, and--- I couldn't put it into words. Just... seemed like the best way to say it without saying it, if that makes sense?"

Zim nodded slowly. "Alright. I just-- got worried that it was because I said I needed it. I don't want to have pressured you."

"No, you--- saying you need it just made me... think about it that way," Dib murmured. "And... I realized that--- that stuff I was feeling was already starting to kinda... go dangerously in that direction, anyways. It just took a push to make me realize it."

"Good," Zim said. "...By the way! There's something I forgot to say earlier."

"Oh? What's up?"

Zim propped himself up on his elbow, grinning. "Welcome home!"

Dib paused, unable to help but grin, something warm in his chest leaving him with the sappiest feelings he wasn't ready to deal with. "Thanks, Zim. I'm glad to be home."

"Now. You, smelly beast, need to get some rest. You did not sleep at all last night."

"But what if I wanna hang out with you?"

"We have all day, every day, forever to hang out."

"Yeah, buuuut I could definitely just go to sleep tonight and that'd be fine."

"You are absolutely maddening!"

"Yep, and you told me to move in with you! And then you slept with me. You're doomed, now."

Zim scoffed. "I love you, stinky."

"I love you, too, bug man," Dib teased.