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Gerald sat in the field chewing on cud, and trying to ignore the flies swarming around his eyes. God knows he tried.
Suddenly Frank-Duck, who was technically a baby duck (So I guess he was a franklin) waddled the fuck up, and gave Gerard a damn good eye-peckin’.
“MOOOO!” Gerard said angrily.
Frank quaked back contemptuously. Gerard shook his head
*shake shake*.
Ray-Bull walked on over,
“Oi, what’s goin’ on ‘ere mates?” he asked, swinging his head around passionately, sending shit and small animals soaring out his unkempt Bull-Afro.
Gerard and Frank-Duck stepped back.
“Oi” Gerard snorted angrily “Stop swingin’ your head around, ya paddy bastard!”
Ray-Bull stopped immediately, and hung his head in shame.
“Do you think I’ve disappointed the Queen?” he asked in a low voice.
Before Gerard or Frank could answer, the Queen of England ascended from the sky, with a pillow of thorns cushioning her descent.
“HOW NOW BROWN COW!?” the Queen bellowed, questioning the small bull before her.
Ray-Bull took a step back, insulted.
“I- I’m a bull” he said, his voice increasing in pitch. “Not a cow!”
Frank-Duck held back a laugh.
Gerard leaned close into Ray-Bull’s ear
“Ooooh, you gon’ get it now. You gon’ get her Royale Scepter, right up your Bull-Ass ass”.
The Queen’s face darkened, her mouth forming into a thin line. She leaned her face close in with Ray-Bull’s.
“THOU HAST FORSAKKEN ME!” the Queen screeched, and before Ray-Bull could react, she raised her hand and let down a stream of lightening.
Ray-Bull didn’t have a chance. His blood and guts littered the field, which had now turned dead and kind of shitty. The Queen gave a final nod to Gerard and Frank-Duck, before floating back into the clouds.
Once the Queen was gone, Gerard turned to Frank-Duck and sighed.
“Should we have kinky sex in Ray-Bull’s blood?” Gerard asked, clearly aroused.
Frank-Duck shrugged in reply, but before they could get into anything, Patrick Stump-Goat and Pete the Sheep walked over and looked at the bloody-mess before them.
Pete the Sheep looked at the bloody-mess and sighed.
“Looks like somebody had a Baaa-a-a-ad accident”.
Patrick Stump-Goat butted him in the butt, and looked over at Gerard and Frank-Duck with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, he’s an ass-hole. Here, let us help you clean this up”.
Gerard and Frank-Duck looked at each other and shrugged. They didn’t want to have sex in the blood that bad.
“Sure” they replied.
Gerard and Frank-Duck took care of the blood, and Patrick Stump-Goat and Pete the sheep tackled the limbs.
As Patrick Stump-Goat tried to pick up Ray-Bulls head, it slipped out of his grip and sent the head tumbling a few feet ahead of him.
“Whoopsie- Daisey!” Patrick Stump-Goat exclaimed.
Pete the Sheep looked up at the pile of limbs he was stacking, and saw Patrick Stump-Goat staring at the head in front of him, and ran over to get it.
Patrick Stump-Goat smiled at him and retrieved the head from Pete the Sheep’s mouth.
“thanks pete” he said.
Suddenly, everything went still and there was a rumbling in the ground. The Queen of England appeared from the sky again, with an inverted cross painted on her forehead and a thousand black angles following behind her.
Gerard, Frank-Duck, and the Queen of England and her Thousand Young, all circled around Pete the Sheep and Patrick Stump-Goat.
Slowly, a small murmur spread around the group, growing louder and louder.
”thanks pete” they all collectively chorused out.
Everyone melted.
~Le Fin