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A breath in. A breath out. Short, shallow, uneasy. Eyes closed, pinching ever so slightly tighter before relaxing again. A twitch of the check, perhaps a muscle spasm? No. His lips pulled down into the barest hint of a grimace with the motion. An arm was under the pillow, hiding the right hand, but the left could be seen. It had a grip on the sheets. A half-claw holding onto the small bits of comfort it could find.
Naegi had always been an uneasy sleeper.
Togami watched him in the darkness of the room, observing every small movement, every twitch. It was what he did. Examine, ferret out the secrets, the weaknesses. Then he would use them to his advantage. It was a game everyone in this cursed building knew he played. It put them on their guard around him. Which was fine. Such hopeless plebeians wouldn’t be able to beat him, even if they tried to predict his actions.
There were only two, he supposed, who could possibly pose a threat to him. One was that strange Kirigiri girl, who was always on high alert when he was in the room. The tense shoulders and the subtle tightening of her lips made it all too easy to see that.
The other was currently asleep next to him on his bed, his back open and exposed to the heir. Naegi’s willingness to trust him in such a way was baffling. A person who could blindly put their faith in another so easily was obviously an idiot. Or that is what he thought before he met Naegi. An idiot he was not. After seeing him work his way through trial after trial, ferreting out the lies and coming to the right conclusions through deduction, there was no way to call him a moron.
Which is what perplexed him. While he did not know everything about Kirigiri, he understood her. Smart, analytical- the kind of person who would do anything to reach her goals. What those goals were was still a mystery to him, but that didn’t matter. He had seen her type before. He could predict her.
But he knew plenty about Naegi. He need only ask and the shorter male would give him the most private details of his life, his past, his feelings. In fact, the idea that the Luckster was so free with that sort of information with anyone and everyone at the school was one of his more constant worries recently. No matter how many times they all insisted that they were “friends” and “on the same team” desperation had a way of getting to people. The idea that someone could use Naegi’s trust to hurt him sickened Togami.
However, that was a concern for another day. What he was preoccupied with now was how he could know so much about Makoto Naegi, but still, even now, fail to understand him.
When he had first developed… feelings for Naegi, he had almost thought that his mind had snapped under the pressure. That somehow the situation had been too much even for him and he had swan-dove off the deep end of sanity to join the rest of the lunatics in their asylum called Hope’s Peak.
Which was, of course, preposterous. He was perfectly in control of his faculties and, if somehow his madness was the kind that went unnoticed by its victim, no one treated him any differently. Therefore, he had to assume that he, being of sound mind and body, cared for Naegi. So, the initial wave of “what is wrong with me” passed and he came to terms with his newfound emotions. As he did, he found himself entertaining the idea of relations with the Luckster more and more often. Sometimes without planning to. More than once his mind drifted to Naegi during his off time. They weren’t anything particularly interesting thoughts either. Simply wondering how he was or what he was doing. Curiosities about his wellbeing or how the most recent murder had affected him. Simple, boring, innocent thoughts that would crop up out of nowhere and pester him endlessly, even when he tried to ignore them.
Admittedly, his mind did delve into perversions every so often However, he’d like to think that, even in his infatuation, he had a better grip on his thoughts than the majority of the common squabble and was at least able to keep the X-rated thoughts in line.
The problem, once he had come to terms with the fact that he was not, in fact, losing his mind and was legitimately interested in Naegi, was that he didn’t know how to approach the problem. The idea of confessing anything to anyone, short of being under physical and psychological torture for years or being given a particularly lucrative bribe, was laughable. Confessing his emotions even more so. One did not become the heir of the Togami Family by being good at expressing one’s emotions. It was about concealment, subterfuge, obscurity.
Speculating on it now, he supposed he had been worried that Naegi would reject his advances. He, Byakuya Togami, had been afraid of Makoto Naegi. He scoffed aloud in the darkness, making the figure next to him shift slightly. He paused, carefully watching Naegi for another movement. When it didn’t come, he lost himself in his thoughts again.
When he finally decided to do it, for better or for worse, it was a nightmare trying to find a moment when Naegi was alone. He was constantly talking to someone. Seriously, it was like he thought he was going to get an award for talking to everyone all the time. It was infuriating, if slightly endearing.
When he realized he was shadowing Naegi’s steps as pitifully as Fukawa stalked his own, he decided to take another approach, one that suited his style better. He went to the library, and waited for the brunette to find him. Though he didn’t consider himself to be an impatient man, sitting at his usual table, pretending to read was near unbearable. He drummed his fingers against the desk, his nerves starting to slip out from the vice grip he had put them in.
However, he wasn’t left in anticipation for long. True to form, Naegi stepped into the library with a smile on his face. The sight of him made his stomach twist, a feeling he had become familiar with in the past few days. A sickening kind of dread mixed with excitement crawled into the pit of his stomach.
Being the meticulous planner that he was, he had sent Fukawa on a long-winded, near impossible task. So they had the library to themselves. The last thing he needed was for that maniac to try and murder Naegi in the middle of his proposition.
“Hey Togami! How’re-”
“Naegi I’m glad you’re here,” Togami cut the other boy off, knowing he would probably talk himself out of this ridiculous plan if he stopped for pleasantries. His nerves were out of his control now, starting to pick at his usual calm. “I want to discuss something with you. Sit down,” he commanded, before realizing that ordering him around before confessing his feelings was not a good start and quickly added, “Please.”
The brunette looked confused, but complied, taking a seat across the table. He had just opened his mouth to speak when Togami continued.
“Recently certain things have come to my attention regarding our relationship,” he started, his tone more suitable for a business meeting than a romantic confession, “Things that we need to discuss.”
“O-kay,” Naegi said, tone puzzled but amiable, “What kind of ‘things’ exactly?”
“You see,” Togami paused for a breath. He was merely gathering his thoughts. He wanted to get it right so naturally he would pause. It was not because he was feeling sick and lightheaded and like he had swallowed an entire jar of bees. He laced his fingers together, forcing himself to look directly at the still puzzled Naegi. “I have,” he let out another, slightly frustrated puff of air, breaking eye contact with the boy across from him, “I think that- feel that…”
“Togami, are you feeling okay?” Naegi asked, concerned. He stood to move over to Togami, who let out a frustrated noise and waved him back into his seat.
“I’m fine idiot- Naegi- Mokoto,” he made a soft sound of frustration in the back of his throat. He forced himself to pause and regain his composure, counting to ten. He looked back at Naegi. “I have romantic feelings for you,” he said, flushing. He made a mental note to shout at Fukawa for messing with the thermostat because it was suddenly boiling. That was the clear explanation for the sudden redness on his face.
He moved through the rest of his speech crisply, not pausing or allowing Naegi to get a word in, “If you feel the same I would like to know. Once that is finished, depending on the nature of your answer, we can then take the appropriate steps to advance our relationship. However, if this advance is unwanted simply say the word and we can both forget this ever happened.”
When he ended, taking in a much-needed breath, he braced himself for Naegi’s response. He had already broken eye contact. He almost didn’t want to look back. Didn’t want to see his reaction. Didn’t want to see if he was taking his confession poorly. When there was no sound from across the table, he made himself look. He head turned like rusted gears, reluctantly moving his gaze from the bookshelf next to him and on the boy across the table from him. Naegi was looking back at him, stunned. However, Togami could not discern if it was a good kind of stunned or a bad kind of stunned. Was there a good kind of stunned? He wasn’t smiling. Did people smile during these kinds of things? Togami didn’t know. His fist clenched and he stared down at it with narrowed eyes, gritting his teeth. He felt the weight of his own inexperience starting to crush him.
This had been a bad idea. It was a foolish emotionally driven move, the weakest kind of action to take. He should have thought this over more, tried harder to ignore his feelings. He shouldn’t have ordered him to sit. Why didn’t he ask Naegi to sit? It was a textbook mistake. He had called him an idiot in the middle of his confession, too. That was sure to have made Naegi hostile to his confession. Why had his gift with words left him at such a crucial moment? Did Naegi even feel attraction to other men? Why hadn’t he considered that Naegi could be straight? He hung out with Kirigiri enough. He was probably already involved with her anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupi-
“Yeah,” Togami was broken from his train of thought, eyes widening and snapping up to Naegi. The brunette was smiling now, even if it was a little unsure. A blush had worked its way onto his cheeks, making him look, in Togami’s opinion, quite adorable. Togami felt his heart skip a beat as Naegi continued, nodding. “I- I feel the same. About you- I mean. I- yeah if you want to I’d like to try something with you. If that okay with you?”
Togami’s confidence rocketed back into place as Naegi stammer out his own confession. He smirked, feeling like himself again even as his heart pounded and his stomach turned backflips. “Of course it’s okay with me. I proposed it. Even your mind can remember that much.”
Naegi laughed, nodding. “Right, yeah. Good to know you haven’t changed. For a second I thought I was talking to someone else.”
Togami watched Naegi chuckle at him for a moment before deciding to take action. Using the elation he was already feeling paired with his desire to shut his boyfriend- that sounded so odd “boyfriend” but also terrifyingly good- up, he leaned over the table. Grabbing Naegi by the lapels, he pulled him up into a kiss. It was deep, heated, experienced, with Togami forcefully and deliberately moving his lips against Naegi’s. None of his imaginations could compare to the reality. Even though Togami had never felt like this before he had kissed before, which seemed to give him a leg up on Naegi who seemed to be blown over by the surprise and intensity of the kiss. But that just added to the charm and thrill of it all. Naegi lips weren’t full, but they were soft and compliant as Togami lead him through the kiss. Togami licked Naegi’s lips, making the shorter male gasp and giving Togami access to his mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Togami would have been perfectly fine to stay like that for the next hour or so, with perhaps a brief interlude to remove the table from the equation, but he heard the door open.
Breaking the kiss suddenly, he pushed Naegi down into his chair while taking a seat himself. Though they were both flushed and Naegi was panting a bit, Togami regained his composure and picked up his book just as Fukawa turned the corner.
“I- I couldn’t find the 48.3 light bulb you wanted,” she said, her eyes locked on Togami, nervously twirling her braid in her hand, “I’m so sorry!”
“That’s because it doesn’t exist,” Togami sneered, not bothering to look up from his book, “if you were less of a fool you would have known that.”
“Oh I’m s-sorry! I’ll read up on light bulbs day and night so I’m less ignorant!”
Togami waved dismissively, “Whatever. Just go check on the thermostat. It’s unbearably hot in here and I’m sure you broke it somehow. Go fix it.”
“R-right away!” she squeaked, not bothering to even glance at the flustered and breathless Naegi, who was still recovering and missed the interaction completely.
“Now,” Togami said, looking over his book at Naegi, who snapped back into reality, flushing a little darker under his gaze, “I need to finish my book before we head to my room. Would you care to join me?”
Naegi raised an eyebrow at the assumption but smiled and nodded, moving over into the chair next to Togami so he could see what he was reading.
The entire situation had seemed surreal to him. Even now, laying in the dark and listening to Naegi’s uneven breaths it still seemed rather surreal. It was a mystery why Naegi cared about him. Though he acted as though he thought all should think he was God’s gift to the earth, he knew what he was like. Unless he was making an effort otherwise, other people found him to be overbearing, haughty, and full of himself. It did not particularly bother him, of course. People could think what they wished. Their opinions of him mattered about as much as a grain of sand mattered to the ocean.
But Naegi mattered. And for some reason the Luckster liked him enough to care about him. It definitely wasn’t that Naegi just didn’t see his faults. They had already had many arguments about his attitude towards people. Naegi would have his moments where he would get completely fed up with how he treated people, particularly in regards to Fukawa. He was intimately familiar with the exasperated look and tone Naegi would get when Togami did something Naegi found unpleasant. And the heir would be sure to hear about it afterwards. Chiding ending with arguments that would last for a day or so before Togami reluctantly apologized or Naegi brought the subject up again. The arguments, bumps, and disagreements they had in their new relationship had been pretty much equal to the smiles, kisses, and embraces. So it wasn’t that Naegi couldn’t see his faults or that he was simply okay with them.
So why did Naegi want him in the first place? Yes, Togami was brilliant, an heir, and knew how to get what he wanted. Many people, in fact had overlooked his less pleasant qualities in order to try and get close to him. He understood those reasons for wanting to get to know him. However, he had never felt that motivation from Naegi. It was the way Naegi acted and the way he treated both him and people in general. It never gave him the feeling that Naegi was trying to use him.
So he was back to the confusion.
Naegi grunted in his sleep, jerking slightly. Togami sighed. Since the first night Naegi had slept over, Togami had noticed how erratic his sleeping was. When he needed to, Togami could sleep. He slept for six hours unless interrupted and he slept lightly. When he had other things to do he could skip sleeping and do what he needed to do. It was meticulous, practice, automatic. A skill needed if you had enemies on every side of you. Be sure to get the sleep you need, but be on guard.
Naegi was another story. He tried to sleep through the night, but sometimes he couldn’t. Togami didn’t have enough fingers to count how many times he had woken up in the middle of the night because Naegi had gotten out of bed to read or just leave so he wouldn’t disturb Togami’s rest. Then when Naegi did get to sleep he never slept soundly. There was always a twitch or a breath out of place. Sometimes he whimpered. Togami wished there was something he could do to help, but he had never been quite sure what action to take.
Naegi had only screamed in his sleep once while they had been together. It had woken them both up and Naegi had spent the rest of the night clutching onto Togami, who had been perplexed and awkward, not sure what to do.
So not even his sleep was predictable. Everything about Naegi was a puzzle that he couldn’t quite figure out. The most frustrating and delighting puzzle he had ever tried to solve with all over the pieces in plain sight, but he wasn’t quite sure what the picture was supposed to be.
As he sat, propped up on one arm in the dark, watching and listening, he decided to try something. The idea had occurred to him the other night, after observing Naegi like he was now. His observations had slowly formed into a theory and that theory into an experiment.
Carefully, so as to not wake up the sleeping male next to him, the heir moved himself closer to Naegi’s back. Now, Togami did not cuddle when he slept. He cuddled, sure. He had no problem with it as an activity to do with Naegi. Reading a book as Naegi sat on his lap, head under his chin. He would also do it after sex or even a particularly active make-out session. Not a problem. However, when it came to actually sleeping, he would detach himself from Naegi and they would fall asleep separately. He had never thought twice about it and Naegi had never complained. But, in the silence and darkness, he wondered.
Once he was close enough, he draped an arm around Naegi’s waist, pulling him in closer. Right. This was fine. The situation was perfectly under control. He awkwardly bent the arm that was between his own body and the bed. Where was he supposed to put that? While he tried to figure the arm situation out, he also worked on finding a position for his head that didn’t end with him suffocating in Naegi’s hair. The boy made it so simple when he was awake and could arrange his own head and Togami didn’t have to worry about it. Damn, how much hair did Naegi have? It was like pressing his face into a giant dandelion. His arm was falling asleep. It was still pinned beneath his side against the bed, bent at an awkward angle. Sleeping like this, he decided, was ridiculous. He couldn’t understand why anyone would do it. But he wasn’t going to let it get the best of him. He was a Togami. He could do anything. So he persisted. He finally decided to rest his head in the crook of Naegi’s neck. He then wormed his arm under Naegi’s body to have both arms securely around his boyfriend.
Once that was settled, he completely froze as Naegi’s breathing started to sound like he was waking up. He grimaced. Did he really just do all that work just for Naegi to wake up and ruin it all? After a few minute of complete silence and stillness, Naegi relaxed and Togami did the same. With the arm that wasn’t pinned, Togami stroked Naegi’s light brown hair, carefully listening for a reaction.
There it was. Naegi’s breathing finally slowed a bit. The sleeping male sighed, one of the few contented sounds Togami had ever heard him make while sleeping. Togami smiled, triumphant. Now this was what he did. Waited, watched. Observing every twitch and then using it to his advantage. He continued his gentle strokes through Naegi’s hair as he listened to his breathing steady out. Finally convinced that the brunette would have a good night’s rest for once, Togami moved his arm back around Naegi’s waist and closed his eyes. It wasn’t the most natural feeling in the world, but the fact that it was soothing Naegi did make the discomfort worth it.
Naegi was a puzzle- that was for certain. There was a chance that Togami would never truly understand him. However, he decided as he drifted off to the sounds of Naegi’s slow breaths, that would not stop him. He would from watch, observe, and put all his effort into finally uncovering the secret that was Makoto Naegi.
After all, one did not become the heir of the Togami Family by being easily discouraged.