Chapter Text
So far, so good. None of the dinner guests have spoken to her yet, and she hasn’t humiliated herself and her father with her stutters and muffled voice. She just has to get through dessert, and this awful dinner at the Otsutsuki estate would be over.
She hates these dinners.
The journey to her distant cousin’s large residence always starts with a lecture from her father. “Remember your manners, and don’t speak unless you absolutely have to. Your speech impediment is shameful. Stand up straight! Be an example for Hanabi. Who can I marry you off to if you carry yourself that way? Try not to embarrass me.”
Just remembering it makes her want to sigh and frown. But she holds it in, careful to only show a serene expression as the men at the table discuss the latest political affairs. According to rumors, a neighboring province may soon see a change in leadership since the lord wants to pass his duties onto his son.
“It’s a shame, Hiashi, that Lady Hitomi passed so early. Certainly you were hoping for an heir,” a tall, reedy man by the name of Yoritomo comments, a veiled jab at the largest of her father’s troubles.
Her father gives no verbal reply, instead opting for a slow nod of recognition of the man’s words.
Hinata lowers her eyes to her plate and takes a careful breath. Her father would be in a foul mood at the end of this dinner, and she might as well start mentally preparing for it now. Visits to the Otsutsukis always puts her father in a sour temper. None of them seem like good people with the way they gloat and draw attention to themselves. Especially Yoritomo’s son, Toneri. By some luck, he’s not present, and that’s been the only highlight of the evening for Hinata.
“Your daughter will be of marrying age soon, correct?” the lord continues.
Hinata looks up, still taking care to not let her dismay show on her face at being mentioned.
“Yes, she is,” Hiashi responds. “I have raised her to be capable of supporting her husband in his responsibilities for our kingdom.”
“I see,” Yoritomo replies.
Hinata feels the lord appraising her, his eyes following the lines of her form, and she does her best to keep from shuddering. She gives him a forced, practiced, small smile.
She immediately regrets it. The look in his eyes disturbs her. No one so old as him should be looking at her in that way, and she can only hope there is no meaning to it.
She hoped, but…
After the dinner is over and she is readying to leave, she doesn’t miss the fact that Yoritomo calls her father to his side for a talk.
A private deal of some sort.
And she finds out, that deal includes her.
“Be glad that he is taking an interest in you. You will not want for anything at his estate. You can finally be of some use to our clan,” her father sternly says, not at all noticing, or pretending to not notice, her eyes widen in horror at the news.
She turns her gaze down to the floor and swallows the knot in her throat. “Yes, Father.”
A week later, her maid, a woman of some ancient and unknown age, stuffs her into her tightest dress. “Toneri is a fine match for you. You are lucky to be matched with someone as young as he. Why when I was your age…”
The woman jabbers on, leaving no room for her to air her own opinion, not that there is any air left in her.
Hinata is certain her breasts will pop out of the bust if the maid tightens her back any further.
“There!” The maid pinches her cheeks. Hard. “He’ll take one look at you, and you’ll be married in no time!”
And in no time at all, Toneri is at her door.
She tries to ignore the way his eyes rake over her body. “Y-you must be tired from your-”
“Sshh.” Toneri shushes her, placing a finger at her lips. “Don’t talk. You’re much better without it.”
She can feel her throat closing up in a mixture of embarrassment of herself and disgust in his touch.
She endures his gazes. She nods at appropriate times as he recounts his hunting trip from the previous week. She keeps quiet for his entire visit, not letting on the shrinking, crushed feeling in her gut.
She only lets out a breath of relief when he finally leaves.
A couple of weeks later, a package is delivered to their estate, addressed to her, from the Otsutsukis. The letter attached reads, “Dearest Hinata, please wear this upon Toneri’s next visit.”
The servants excitedly pull the dress from the box, “ooh”s and “ahh”s filling the air.
It’s stunning, a gown fit for a celebration.
Intricate, delicate, laced threads of silver sweep to the floor in layers. The bodice glitters in the morning light. The silver fabric is silky to the touch. Sparkling silver heels complete the look.
She’s never owned anything so extravagant in her life.
She dresses in the gown for Toneri, and makes sure to only smile to welcome him.
He nods approvingly as they take a walk in the gardens. “Certainly you agree that women should be seen and not heard?”
Hinata turns her practiced, perfect, little smile up toward him, silencing herself. She tells herself that she’s used to it. Her voice isn’t anything good to hear anyway.
The wedding date is finalized, and with it comes another spectacular gift.
This one of flowing, gold chiffon with silky golden roses adorning the bodice. Matching soft, golden gloves reach her elbows.
Toneri visits her once more, his eyes falling straight to her rose-lined cleavage.
She tries to not think about it. She tries to not show her discomfort in her expression.
But then, he probably wouldn’t notice anyway.
His eyes never stray far from her body.
It’s when he’s about to leave that he pulls her close, grabbing at her glove-covered wrist with a jerk.
She nearly stumbles toward him, her body pressing against his, and she lets out a gasp of shock.
“I don’t mind hearing you like that,” he murmurs, before letting her go.
She stands there, still in surprise, her mind working through his words.
He smiles and bids his farewells.
It’s only afterward that she realizes she’s shaking. Nothing really happened; yet, a cold fear settles within her. It amasses into horrid denial. He’s going to touch her. She would have to let him touch her. And she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want to marry him. She doesn’t want anything to do with him.
But by the next gift that’s sent one month before the wedding, she’s resigned.
She watches the maids pull open the package, revealing a magnificent, deep blue feather gown and a soft feather hairpiece.
She’s certain the ensemble is worth more than herself.
Hanabi whispers thoughts along the same lines to her in private. “Those dresses must be worth more than our whole estate! You’re going to be rich!”
Hinata just sighs in response.
Seeing her sister’s melancholy, Hanabi attempts to comfort her. “Maybe he won’t be so bad when you are actually married…”
Hinata looks at her, lips pursed in disbelief. “...You know that it will probably be worse.”
Hanabi nods. “I know he’s awful… I’ll come visit you often?”
She lets another sigh out. “If he lets me receive visitors.”
“He can’t just hole you up in their castle all day and night!”
“He’ll probably only let me out for fancy parties.” The dresses are proof enough. She is expected to be a doll. One to dress up and for others to admire. “And even then, I won’t be allowed to speak. I’ll probably forget what my own voice sounds like.”
Hanabi falls silent at this. She knows that Hinata has terrible nerves in unfamiliar places or with people she’s not comfortable with. Her father punishes her for it, but Toneri is worse. “Hinata…” She wishes she could comfort her sister more.
“I’ll be okay, Hanabi.” Hinata actually doesn’t believe that at all, but she doesn’t want her younger sister to worry about her.
“It’s not okay!”
“Hanabi…” she warns.
“It’s not okay!!” the younger Hyuuga repeats. “You shouldn’t have to marry him if you don’t want to! Doesn’t Father know that he’s creepy? That whole family is, is,...” She gesticulates wildly in the air to emphasize her meaning.
“Father doesn’t care. They’re rich.” In the past few months, Hinata has come to this understanding of her father’s decision, no matter how much she hates it. In her internal battle to accept her life’s circumstances, she realized this. Her father wants to make sure that they are provided for. If it’s the richest man, even better. If it means more power for the Hyuuga, then that’s more than he could have asked for. The Otsutsuki clan offered this to someone like her. She tries to not think that all of this is because her father hates her.
“...you should run away.”
“...What?”
“You should run away.” Hanabi nods in affirmation of her own words. “Take those ridiculously expensive dresses, sell them, and I bet you can make it on your own.”
Hinata gasps. “I can’t do that!”
“I would.” Hanabi stares into her sister’s eyes. “I wouldn’t accept this.”
“I can’t just leave everyone behind, one month before the wedding.”
She doesn’t let up her stare. “Yes, you can.”
“I…I couldn’t. People would recognize me.”
“Just disguise yourself.”
“Wi-with what?”
“I don’t know! A potato bag, a skirt of wood, a coat of cat skin! I bet if you asked the Otsutsukis for a coat of cat’s fur they’d sew it for you!”
Hinata grimaces at the suggestions. “No, they wouldn’t!”
“I bet they would. They are obsessed with you.”
“No...they’re not…” she denies with a frown, though she wonders now if that’s how it appears to others.
Her sister hums in disagreement. “Toneri is visiting tomorrow, right? You can ask him for anything and he’d get it for you just to prove that he can.”
“He doesn’t even let me speak,” Hinata points out. “But no, I wrote the Otsutsukis to ask for this month with my family. I won’t have to see him until...the wedding.”
Hanabi appears thoughtful for a moment, and then smiles. Mischievously.
“What is that face for?” Hinata asks accusingly. She has no idea how her younger sister is so good at hiding her personality from their father. The two girls are definitely nothing alike aside from their eyes.
“Oh nothing. I just had a thought.”
A week later, it appears. The maids murmur in excitement, hurrying to unwrap the latest gift.
But instead of sighs and gasps of wonder, the garment is met with furrowed expressions.
“Lady Hinata, the Otsutsukis have sent you...a coat. What kind of fur is this, I wonder,” a servant says thoughtfully.
There is no doubt in Hinata’s mind. It’s cat skin. Short brown fur with stripes and spots of black. Effort is apparent in the neat stitching, but it can’t hide the fact that it is peculiar.
“Perhaps it is the latest fashion in Konoha?” suggests a maid.
“Yes, perhaps it is,” others comment.
Hinata looks at it silently, knowing that it would be more accurate to say only someone like Hanabi could ever imagine something so revolting. She slips it on.
The maids try not to grimace.
Hinata tries not to look surprised. She can imagine it. If she lets her hair down to cover herself up, if she wears this coat that obscures all her curves, if she wears her plain petticoats, and if she runs far, far away…
She shrugs the coat off, along with the daydream. She can’t run away. That would be ridiculous.
However as the day draws ever closer, she feels her freedom slipping away with it. She takes to walking in their gardens with Hanabi every late afternoon. The coat sits in her closet, a reminder of her sister’s silly suggestion--a mockery of her circumstances.
It’s two days before the wedding, and the sisters take an excursion together into town to enjoy their last hours together.
The stores are bustling with shoppers, and the two link arms to keep from separating in the crowd.
“Wow, the shipments must have just arrived! It’s so busy today,” Hinata remarks.
“Yeah! Hey, I’ve been meaning to look at the new patterns-”
“Hanabi!” a voice shouts.
The girl stiffens, her expression shifting into a forced frown. “Quick, let’s go!”
But Hinata notes the telltale glimmer in her sister’s eyes. She looks around in curiosity.
“Hanabi!”
Hinata side-eyes her blushing sister, who’s doing her best to pull Hinata along. “Isn’t that-”
A boy pushes through the crowd and stops before them.
“Konohamaru,” Hanabi finishes, her voice deadpan, completely different from the flustered girl of a second ago. “What is it, can’t you see I’m busy with my sister?”
The boy just grins. He nods in recognition to Hinata and then Hanabi. “It’s nice to see you, too,” he jokes. His expression turns sly. “I just thought I’d get a good look at this rare picture.”
“Wha-” Hanabi begins.
“Who knew your father would ever let a wild animal like you out of the house.”
Hanabi’s expression twists in frustration. “How dare you!” She quickly re-composes herself. “I am a perfect picture of virtue, I’ll have you know. So take a good look.”
It’s obvious to anyone watching their exchanged banter that the two are a match meant to be. The Sarutobi heir comes from a prestigious clan, yet their values are less restrictive compared to the Otsutsukis. It’s assumed that Konohamaru will get to choose who he marries. And it’s obvious where his attentions are.
Less known are Hanabi’s feelings on the matter. But based off of what she had just seen, Hinata takes a guess that her sister is hiding more than she’s letting on.
She’s happy for her younger sister. Happy that at least one of them can have a happy ending. The only thing is that...
“Congratulations on your engagement, Hinata,” Konohamaru says, turning his charming smile toward her. “Toneri, huh?”
She nods. “Thank you.”
He nods.
She gives a fake smile. There’s not much more to say about that. Everyone in the province knows what he’s like.
He shifts subjects again quickly, engaging Hanabi in another conversation. Almost every sentence he says leaves room for Hanabi to voice her own thoughts, whether agreements, laughter, rebuttals, or scoffs.
Hinata passively listens. She wishes Toneri could be like that.
Except that’s not for her.
Not for socially awkward, shy Hinata. Not for the girl who’s known for stumbling over her words, for slouching too much, for standing in the background. Even if she grew out of most of those behaviors in the last few years, no one forgets.
But if she runs away...to someplace far, far away...where nobody knows her Hyuuga eyes...
She watches Hanabi and Konohamaru. She can see the mutual interest, two souls drawing closer together.
Her sister would be fine without her…if she ran away…
“Go.” Hanabi states as the two stand at the edge of their father’s estate. “Don’t worry about me and go.”
“Hanabi…”
“If you don’t leave tonight, you won’t get another chance. You can leave with the merchants. You can board their ships tonight and-”
“I can’t just-”
“Yes, you can. I don’t think I can stand seeing you next to Toneri like some silent puppet.”
Hinata shakes her head.
“I’m not joking. I know the cat coat seems like it was a joke, but I did all of that in complete seriousness!”
Hinata stares at her sister.
“Please, Hinata. If not for yourself, do it for me...I don’t want Toneri for a brother-in-law.”
Hinata sighs. She can’t lie to herself. She’s been thinking about running away nonstop. And now, two nights before the wedding, the fates seem to have aligned for her. The merchants’ ships always leave first thing in the morning after deliveries. She can board them and disappear. She can seek something better for herself. She can start over as someone new.
She squeezes her younger sister in a tight embrace. “Oh, Hanabi…”
Her sister hugs her back. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. And I won’t give you away.”
Hinata knows this is the truth. Hanabi is a quick thinker. Always the clever one. She could make an amazing actress if she wanted. “I’ll come back for you.”
“No, promise me you won’t come back.”
Hinata sucks in a breath. “...I...I promise.”
“Promise me you’ll be safe.”
She nods against her sister’s head. “I promise I’ll be safe.”
“Promise me you’ll find something better than this.”
She inhales deeply, memorizing the scent of Hanabi’s favorite perfume of sweet freesia. A resolve, a hope she never quite felt before rises within her. The power in… “I promise.”
She packs an unassuming bag, the gowns that are worth more than herself folded tightly and only a few of her plainest dresses stuffed within. She dons the ugly coat; she lets her hair down. In the dark, she blends in like a creature of the night. She casts her eyes down the way she used to as a small child when she manages to catch a ride back into town.
The taverns are noisy with sailors. The docks are quiet.
She sneaks aboard a ship and tucks herself away amidst the largest crates.
Nerves keep her awake.
Doubt settles into her.
It’s not too late. She can still go home. She can still make it back before anyone notices. She could go back to everything familiar. She could marry Toneri and still have her family a short ride away.
But she promised.
So she stays where she is, her gut turning in worried anticipation.
First light streams through tiny cracks in the ceiling.
Reality sets in when she hears numerous footsteps on the deck.
She’s sealed her own fate.
She can only hope it’s all for the better.
She promised.