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Dan’s stood closely next to Phil on the balcony, nothing but the street lights below and other buildings surrounding them lighting up where they stand.
Its calm and quiet and Dan can feel the heat radiating off of Phil in the cool night air. They’re both silent, breathing evenly with each other and enjoying a moments peace.
There’s a glass of Gin between the two of them which they’ve been taking turns sipping on, because Dan wanted to finish the last of the bottle and Phil had no interest in pretending it tasted any good- but they drink it together anyways as ‘together’ is just second nature to them at this point.
Dan throws a glance at Phil, his face relaxed, and he notices how the street lights are playing on Phil’s eyes. They’re dark, somehow bluer than he’s used to seeing them.
Looking into Phil’s eyes reminded him of swimming in the sea and normally he’d find the thought kinda cheesy, but his mind was becoming slightly hazy from the alcohol and instead it felt just perfect.
Phil shifts slightly, turning then to look at him, and Dan can’t help but grin at the shy smile that tugs on Phil’s lips.
“What? Why are you staring at me?” Phil asked, his words sounding a bit more Northern and coming out a tad bit clumsier than normal. Dan leans into him even closer and throws an arm around Phil’s wait, pulling him tightly against himself just because he can.
“I love you” Dan breathes in lieu of a proper answer, feeling too full of drink to bother articulating this actual thoughts.
It makes no sense, but Dan swears he can hear the smile on Phil’s face,
“I love you too”.
-
They’re both stumbling slightly as they get ready for bed, Phil half haphazardly throwing his shirt and jeans onto the floor before climbing into their bed, humming softly into the comforter as he closes his eyes.
Dan fumbles with the zipper of his jeans and staggers a bit as he tugs them off, and he’s pretty sure he gets toothpaste on his shirt when he goes to brush his teeth, but his mind is on nothing but the man in his bed and he wants to get back to him.
Phil’s breaths have evened out by the time Dan curls up into bed next to him. He smells like aftershave and Gin, and more importantly like Home, and Dan lets that carry him off to sleep.
-
It’s dark and his hand reaches out into the void. Dan can’t open his eyes and his heart rate quickens.
He feels nothing but empty bed next to him, and he keeps reaching out hoping to finally feel Phil at his side, but instead the bed and the emptiness grows like a tunnel, leaving him grasping at nothing.
Everything feels Wrong in a way that Dan can’t entirely place and all he knows is that he’s without Phil. He swallows heavily and stops reaching out.
He can’t find Phil.
-
There’s a few confusing moments were Dan finds himself slightly tangled in his covers, feeling as though they were swallowing him and he kick’s them away.
With freed legs, Dan opens his eyes and steadies his breath.
Phil is next to him. His mouth is hanging open slightly, hair messed from sleep, still breathing as softly as he was when they first went to bed.
Dan’s heart rate finally slowing down at the realization that he had only had a bad dream, he presses himself into Phil who unconsciously wraps an arm against him and pulls him closer.
It reminds him of their Manchester day’s, back when Dan was normally the little spoon. Back when he was smaller and fit into Phil’s arms more easily.
Nearly 10 years had passed since the first time Dan slept with Phil’s arms wrapped around his body and it was hard to remember a time when he didn’t have Phil in his life.
‘Together’ comes so much more naturally than apart for them and with that thought ringing in his mind he lets himself fall back to sleep with the man he loved.