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"Regina, you can't do this. Seriously." Emma commented, watching the smirking brunette move about Mary Margaret's apartment without a care in the world.
"I can and I will, Miss Swan. After all, it's a perfectly acceptable holiday practice in this world; why not make use of it?" Regina countered and Emma rolled her eyes, leaning against the doorframe where she was playing look-out.
"You know, as far as terms of endearments go, that one is kind of getting old. We've been married for three years now, perhaps it's time to come up with some new material?" She countered, watching with a pained expression as Regina redecorated the apartment she'd lived at for a good few years before moving into the mansion. "Besides, aren't April Fool's jokes supposed to be subtle?"
"Munchkin, pookie, my eternal love—" Emma groaned and shook her head at Regina’s awful terms of endearment, beaten by her own words. "...your mother has no earthly clue about things like this world's holidays, and even if she did, deceiving your mother is not exactly hard to accomplish. No, I think this will be just fine—a bold statement, an easy punch line... perfect. We wouldn't want your mother missing the point entirely, now would we?"
"She is going to kill me, then you, then me again." Emma groaned in defeat, watching as Regina turned on the TV, muted the sound, and popped a DVD into the player before starting it. "Will you hurry up? She could be home any minute now..."
"One more second, my lady lovebug." Regina cooed, and Emma snorted, emphatically rolling her eyes.
"Lady lovebug? You have got to be kidding me." She muttered, then froze at the sound of the key in the lock downstairs. Quickly, she slipped inside the apartment and closed the door, locking it from the inside before following Regina up the staircase to wait out the inevitable. Why had she even agreed to do this? She was so dead, so very, very, dead. If Regina did not poof them out in time, this might be the end of her life for real. Next to her, Regina was failing an exercise in self-control and Emma clamped her hand down over the brunette's mouth to drown out the sound of laughter.
"You are evil." Emma accused, but without venom. Regina shrugged, not fighting the hand on her face. Instead, she closed her eyes so she could better hear the key in the lock, the sound of happy humming cutting off mid-tune, and the thud of grocery bags falling to the floor. The audible gasp made even Emma bite her lip to keep from grinning, and the indignant outcry that followed at the sight of dozens of dildos placed artfully around the room as well as the very explicit DVD playing on the TV-set made her shake with quiet laughter.
"It's porn!" Mary Margaret cried, and for once, it was completely true.