Chapter Text
You had, in fact, no idea where on earth you were.
Actually, you had an idea but it was not one you wanted to be entertaining.
The idea was that you were no longer on earth because there were plants that you knew did not exist on earth, not to mention you were pretty sure you saw something that was vaguely antlered and larger than a moose and well.
You hoped the idea of ‘not on earth at all’ was just that. An idea made from being absolutely terrified. Today had started out as a good day for you too. You’d woken up early on your day off, been meaning to go to the new café downtown, buy some of the stupidly expensive stupidly good macaroons to go with your French vanilla late made with heavy cream. The sun had been warm, the breeze cool, and not a single crazy guy on the street corner preaching about the end times. It had been looking to be a good day.
But then you went and had to become curious.
It was tiny, no bigger than a quarter- a gold necklace on a thin chain, dangling from a bush. You saw it from the corner of your eye and like any stupidly evolved monkey your dumb primate brain went ‘oh shiny look and touch!’ So you did.
And felt yourself get sent through the space equivalent of the Willy Wonka boat ride from the gene wilder film only to wake up in the middle of fuckleberry forest, wondering if you were having some sort of coma induced dream. A few rounds of pinching yourself, slapping your face, and kicking one large tree stump later you were certain this wasn’t a dream, you were very much alive and also having no idea where you were.
The smart thing to do would be climb a tree, get a layout of the land, and try to find civilization. Which was what you started to do when civilization found you.
Or rather, one guy in a fancy renaissance fair outfit flanked by some offbrand golden knightly dudes found you.
“While I don’t mind pinning you to the tree you’re currently attempting to scale, I’d like to rub it in your face that we did in fact, manage to catch you Amora.” The man who seemed to be in charge of the group of golden boys was the only differently dressed member of the party, his armor black and green with gold embellishments. Black hair too, whereas the other men in gold armor were golden blonds. You were sensing a trend.
Atop a white horse, the dark knight seemed perfectly smug looking at you hanging off a low branch like a pathetic kitten. He also had his men holding glowing spears at you and frankly, it all seemed a bit much over a case of mistaken identity.
“Uh.” He lifted an eyebrow as to gaped, not sure who to explain what was going on. Had you been kidnapped for some LARP match? Maybe. Nerds will do anything.
“I don’t know who your Amora is, but, I’m not her.” The man snorted derisively, and two of his golden goons grabbed you before you even had time to shout. As you yelled various expletives at them and flailed as best you could in their steel grip, the leader saw what you had dropped in your screaming thrashing rage.
The necklace.
“Oh?’ He hummed, picking it up and turning it over in his fingers.
“How very interesting.” Was the necklace to blame? What was going on? You wanted to be let go but thug one and thug two weren’t budging.
“It seems-“ And just like that he walked up to you, a single finger pressing to your forehead with more force you thought possible, “-I was mistaken.” He looked at the two men holding you up and snapped.
“Didn’t you hear me? I said there has been a mistake, this is most certainly not Amora.” They let you go to fall into an unflattering heap on the forest floor, yelping when you rear collided with hard earth.
Raven hair crouched down to you eye level, holding out the necklace to you.
“By where did you come across this trinket?” So, you explained, his goons still holding a little to tight to glowing spears for your liking. Your tiny tale of discovery over, the man sighed.
“Unfortunately for you girl, that necklace was enchanted to bring whomever touched it to Asgard. A woman we’ve been hunting down for her crimes was it’s owner, and, it seems she misplaced her little tool home.”
“Wait As- the hell are you saying?” You stand, panic setting in. No, you wanted the whole not on earth thing to be wrong. Leather pants was making shit up, the necklace wasn’t magic, that’s fake. Just like the rumor about Tony Stark having a kid. Could be real but was totally fake. “I’m- I’m still on earth right?”
Hot Topic wet dream laughed then, loud and his men shuffled, looking around at each other awkwardly.
“No dear girl, you’re on Asgard, an entirely different realm, an entirely different world.” You felt sick.
“Perhaps you’ve heard of me though?” Your vision was getting blurry, it was hard to breathe. Another world? Not possible. Impossible. It couldn’t be happening it wasn’t real.
“I am Loki of Asgard.” Your eyes widened as your heart rate skyrocketed. The man, Loki, grinned like he’d just won the lottery and hadn’t told anyone yet. “The Allfather, and oh yes-“ He was Thor’s brother. The crazy dude who’d made the Hitleresque speech in Germany then went to invade New York City with a bunch of bug dudes.
“-King.” He was- wasn’t Thor the- your body was seizing up, you couldn’t breathe.
The Golden armored men looked confused, concerned even as Loki smiled.
“Poor thing, I think I might have over whelmed her a tiny bit.”
You didn’t know what happened next, because as soon as he reached out to touch you, your eyes rolled back and you passed out right in front of the very man who’d once tried to conquer your home.