Archive of Our Own

Yoongi was ten and he was sitting on the steps that led to the front door of his house under the watch of his mother, who was watering the few plants she was trying to grow in their front yard for the past months. The boy had a toy in his hands, a Hulk figurine, but his attention was on his mother because he always thought it was incredibly amusing how she always insisted on trying to make something grow in there when even Yoongi already knew it wouldn’t work.

His attention was caught by the sound of his neighbor’s car approaching. He saw the couple park the modest Ford and get out of the vehicle. The boy expected them both to lock the car right after, but the woman opened the back door and looked inside. Yoongi frowned at the odd behavior and he wondered if she was getting groceries and if he should offer to help or not.

However when she straightened her back she didn’t have brown packages or plastic bags, she had a smaller hand clutched in hers and Yoongi blinked when a boy left the car with a small jump. He had black hair hid under a pink cap, his waist was a little chubby and he looked so small that Yoongi was sure he was younger than him.

The woman smiled at the little boy and walked him to the front of their house, stopping when the child spoke with her. She said something to her husband and passed him her purse, kissing his cheek before he walked inside the house. The woman patted her long skirt before sitting on the steps in front of her house, similar to the way Yoongi himself was. The boy stood up in front of her, smiling and looking to the side instead of making eye contact with his mom, which made Yoongi frown.

Yoongi widened his eyes when the boy turned around so his face was visible. He had big round cheeks, a cute nose and a mouth so plump and perfect that seemed as if someone had drawn it on his face. But it was his orbs that made Yoongi gawk because they weren’t both the same color. His right eye was a bright sky blue while his left one was as golden as the wedding ring Yoongi's mother always wore.

Yoongi thought it looked pretty.

He waited for his new neighbor to notice him and maybe wave in his direction because even if Yoongi liked to say he was too cool to make the first move, he was actually kind of shy. But the boy had no reaction, he only looked to the other side as if Yoongi wasn’t even there. Yoongi widened his eyes and his shoulders slumped before he looked down to his Hulk toy again, his eyebrows furrowed as he wondered whether he seemed boring or if the boy was just badly behaved.

A touch on his head took Yoongi out of his reverie and he looked at his own mother who was smiling down at him with a gentle glint in her eyes.

“Want to go there? The Parks just adopted him and I’m sure he’d want a friend.” Yoongi looked back at his neighbors’, where the boy was now sitting beside the woman. He looked back at his mother with uncertainty in his eyes, which his mother caught, of course.

“I don’t want to.”

“Are you sure?” His mother arched an eyebrow, the smile still on her face. “You looked like you wanted to go say hi.”

Yoongi pursed his lips and crossed his arms.

“He doesn’t want me to, mom. He ignored me.”

“I don’t think that’s the case, honey.” She pointed to the house next to theirs and Yoongi followed with his eyes, blinking when he saw the boy looking at the general direction of where he was without really focusing his eyes on Yoongi, his cheeks a little pink. A movement to the side caught Yoongi’s attention and looked in its direction, seeing the woman waving him closer with a smile on her lips.

Yoongi looked up at his mother as a way to ask for permission. She smiled and nodded her head, and only then did Yoongi stand up and walk to the neighboring house, his back tensed up and his steps a little mechanical. He couldn’t see his mother anymore, but he knew she was encouraging him. He briefly remembered his mother saying he needed to make more friends and he suddenly understood why she was acting the way she was, but he was terrible at making friends and he was sure he would say something rude that would make the boy cry and get him in trouble.

But the messy hair peeking out of the cap and the colored eyes made Yoongi curious enough to give it a shot when, usually, he would shake his head to his mother’s suggestion and run inside their house.

He walked around the fence that separated their houses and poked his head through the opened door, to which his neighbor, who had been watching with a smile  once she noticed Yoongi approaching, made a motion for him to get closer with her free hand as the other was rubbing up and down the back of the child glued to her side.

“Yoongi!” She spoke as the older boy stopped in front of her with his hands clutching the toy behind his back. “Came to meet your new neighbor?” Yoongi nodded one time without taking his eyes off the ground. “Jiminie, he came to meet you.”

Yoongi moved his gaze to the boy, Jiminie, thinking he would see the boy’s eyes focused on him already. But he still wasn’t looking at Yoongi and he frowned, getting more and more curious (and a little bit bothered) about it.  Yoongi was about to open his mouth and say something rude when he noticed the small smile the younger had on his lips. The upward movement of his plump lips, even if small, made his eyes hide in small slits that made the vision even cuter.

“Hi.”

The boy’s voice was high pitched and a bit unsure, and for once Yoongi didn’t have the urge to say something mean about it, even if Jiminie was still ignoring him and looking to the side.

“Hello.” He tried to give him a smile but by the way he felt his whole face move in places it shouldn’t and because of the woman’s laughter he knew it must have looked all kinds of awkward. “I’m Yoongi. I’m ten years old and I live there.” He pointed at his own house, where his mother was leaning on the doorframe watching the interaction with a smile.

The boy didn’t follow Yoongi’s finger with his eyes but his mother gave her a little wave while Jiminie’s smile got even bigger.

“I’m Jimin, I’m eight.”

Yoongi nodded and he spent a few seconds watching him, long enough for the atmosphere to start getting awkward, at least to him. Then Yoongi couldn’t hold his tongue anymore and blurted out:

“Why don’t you look at me?”

He wanted his voice to sound disinterest but the whine at the end of his questions betrayed him and made it clear he was a little hurt by the fact. Jimin’s mouth opened in an ‘o’ and his cheeks got even redder with what Yoongi thought was embarrassment. He blinked and played with his fingers in front of his body in a nervous act. The woman at his side winced a little and Yoongi frowned, not understanding their reaction.

“I-I thought you were here.” He shyly pointed to the space right to Yoongi right, where he was looking the whole time. “I’m sorry.” He then lowered his head, his cap shifting with the movement and almost falling to the ground.

The woman ran her hand down Jimin’s back in a calming way and smiled gently at Yoongi.

“Jiminie can’t see, Yoongi.”

Yoongi widened his eyes at the new information and tried to look in Jimin’s eyes again, who was hiding his face.

“Really?” Jimin nodded a little and Yoongi watched him for a while, thinking he was as cute as his cousin’s fluffy little rabbit. “Oh, ok then.”

Jimin moved his head in the direction of Yoongi's voice with that, surprise clear on his expression.

“Ok?”

Yoongi shrugged.

“Yeah, ok.” He cocked his head to the side. “You can still play, right?” Jimin nodded fast. “Then do you wanna play with me?” He remembered the Hulk he had behind his back and his face lit up before he brought the toy to his front. He looked back at Jimin, who had a small smile on his lips.

“I have a Hulk toy with me.” He started. “Do you know the Hulk?” Jimin nodded again and Yoongi smiled. “I thought we could play with him, but we can do anything you’d like, really.” He continued quickly, not sure if Jimin liked to play with figurines when he couldn’t see them.

Jimin started nodding his head before he remembered something and reached his small hand in the direction of the woman beside him. Mrs. Park beamed and took his hand in hers.

“You can go play, Jiminie. I’m sure Yoongi’s mother wouldn’t mind you there.” She looked then at Yoongi, waiting for reassurance and he nodded. “Just hold his hand, ok Yoongi? He doesn’t know the place, so you’ll need to guide him. Your mother already knows about it, too.”

Jimin finally stood up and he reached a little over Yoongi’s nose. Yoongi gently grabbed his hand and put the Hulk toy between his chubby fingers. Jimin kept looking straight ahead as he ran his thumb over the toy’s head before hugging it to his chest and offering his free hand for Yoongi to hold. Yoongi clasped his hand and was about to guide the boy to his house when he focused his eyes on Jimin's tummy, which he could swear seemed chubbier earlier. He brushed it off and opened his mouth to call Jimin, who was still distracted caressing the toy with his finger as if he wanted to memorize every detail, when he caught sight of something white moving behind Jimin. He blinked in its direction.

“What’s that?”

Jimin stopped his movements at Yoongi’s voice and cocked his head to the side, confused.

“What?”

“The white thing behind you.”

The thing stopped its movements and Jimin tensed up a little. He hugged the toy a little harder and tightened his fingers around Yoongi’s hand.

“It’s…” He gulped. “It’s my tail.”

As he said it the white stuff, which Yoongi could see clearly now and it was indeed a cat’s tail, curled around Jimin’s waist. Yoongi gawked at it, his mouth open. Jimin kept frozen in place waiting for Yoongi to say something. When he finally spoke, Jimin seemed to chase his voice with his head and Yoongi looked at his big, big eyes, thinking it was difficult to accept the fact that the beautiful orbs couldn’t see a thing.

“It’s so fluffy…”

Yoongi averted his eyes from Jimin’s to his tail again and his own eyes widened at the white limb wrapped around Jimin, who relaxed at the words and the tone Yoongi used while his tail went slack before rising again between the two boys.

“Wanna touch it?”

Yoongi finally looked up and he smiled big, his gums showing. He didn't care if Jimin couldn't see it.

“Can I?” Jimin nodded and the elder moved his hand in the tail’s direction, running his fingers softly over the snow-white fur. “It’s so soft.” When he looked up Jimin was still hugging the toy, but he had now a small smile on his face. “Do you have…” Yoongi pointed as his own ears before he remembered Jimin couldn’t see it and he blushed, what ripped a small chuckle from the woman still sitting on her doorstep and watching the interaction. “Do you have ears, too?”

Yoongi knew of hybrids, he had seen a few on the streets and one of his teachers was a dog hybrid. But they weren’t as common in the countryside as they were in the bigger cities, so this was the first time he was seeing one his age. Or almost his age.

Jimin nodded and took off his cap. Yoongi watched in awe the way the two white triangles raised from the black hair, shaking a little before they turned in Yoongi’s direction and stopped.

"They're so cute!" The elder’s response made Jimin’s face go beet red and his lips stretched into a big smile. And soon Yoongi was saying more “You’re so cute!”

Yoongi was seventeen and finishing his senior year of high school when his parents were called to the principal’s office because he had hit a fellow student on the nose. He kept quiet the whole time, hearing the man talk about how violence was unacceptable in the school and how the Mins needed to put limits on their son, who was a difficult student despite his good grades, and how a violent behavior was the last thing they need Min Yoongi to show right now.

He got a suspension and, by the expression on his father’s face, at least a month without going out or using his computer.

“When we get home you’ll explain what the hell that was about, you hear me, Yoongi?” His mother said when they left the principal’s office and walked down the stairs. “You never fought in school, are you really gonna start now? A few months before going to college?”

He only lowered his head and nodded, respecting his mother even if he didn’t regret what he did. The little shit deserved it.

When they approached the school entrance Yoongi saw Jimin leaning against the brick wall, his friend Taehyung next to him and talking about something. Whatever he whispered into Jimin’s ear (and Yoongi ignored how their proximity made his skin crawl) made him move his head to the side and push himself off the wall. His ears shifted and turned in the direction Yoongi and his parents were coming from, certainly hearing their footsteps.

“Yoongi!”

He smiled at hearing his own name on Jimin’s voice and walked a little faster without even noticing, reaching out and catching his outstretched hand with his, gently pulling Jimin close.

“Jiminie, why are you still here?” Yoongi’s mother asked, putting a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Your class ended an hour ago, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Min.” He answered before pushing his glasses higher on his nose and pointing in Yoongi’s general direction with the hand that carried his cane. “But I was worried.”

“We were waiting for Yoongi, Mrs. Min.” Taehyung told them, stepping closer with a big smile. “Jimin didn’t want to leave before talking to him.”

“That’s nice of you, Jimin.” Yoongi father spoke before smiling at Taehyung. “We’ll drive Jimin home, Taehyung. You can go if you want.”

Taehyung nodded with a smile and turned to Jimin, touching him on the arm to catch his attention.

“I’ll be going before my mom starts calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jiminie.”

Jimin smiled, his tail swinging gently from side to side.

“Bye, Taehyungie.” Taehyung waved in the Min’s direction and Yoongi smiled at him, nodding his head. Then Jimin's attention was on Yoongi’s parents. “My parents aren’t home yet. I know Yoongi’s grounded, but can I go to your house?”

Yoongi saw the way his mother melted before smiling and he bit his lip not to laugh at how weak she was for Jimin. First, because he was already in hot water, and second because he wasn’t any different.

“Of course, Jiminie. I can call your mother and say you’ll spend the night if you want.”

Jimin face lit up with the force of his smile and he nodded happily before gently pulling his hand from Yoongi’s to fold his cane and put in his bag. He searched for Yoongi’s hand again, so Yoongi touched Jimin’s elbow and slid his hand until they were lacing their fingers together with the easy familiarity of two people who did that all the time.

Jimin only touched the subject of Yoongi’s fight when they were in his room. He navigated easily through the place he knew as well as his own house and sat on Yoongi’s bed, crossing his legs and resting his tail on his lap. He started playing with the tip as he spoke:

“Are you ok, hyung? Aren’t you hurt?”

Yoongi smiled and threw himself on the bed next to Jimin, making him giggle at the way he fell on his back because of Yoongi’s rough ways.

“I’m fine.” His jaw was actually hurting a little when the other boy managed to hit him and it was going to bruise but he didn’t want to worry Jimin, who raised an eyebrow, probably detecting the lie on Yoongi’s voice. He remembered how Jimin always said he didn’t know how to lie and cursed under his breath.

“Did he hit you, too?”

“A little bit?” Jimin scoffed and Yoongi smiled. “I’m fine. It’s just a little bruise.”

Jimin blinked a few times without saying a thing as he took his glasses off and closed his bright colored eyes as he often did. Yoongi didn’t call his attention, only took advantage of the quietness of the room to watch Jimin’s face, the way his eyebrows moved as he thought and his eyes shifted slightly under his eyelids once in a while. His lips were a little parted and his tail was resting to the side between them. Yoongi ran his eyes from Jimin’s button nose to his jawline that was getting sharper as the days went by. He was still as adorable as the first time Yoongi saw him eight years ago.

Jimin shifted on the bed until he was on his side and Yoongi moved too so they were face to face. He watched as Jimin raised his hand and touched the pad of his fingers on Yoongi’s cheek, who closed his eyes and sighed.

“Can I?”

Yoongi smiled with his eyes still closed.

“Of course.”

It was something Jimin started doing when they were still kids and never stopped: touching Yoongi’s face with slow movements and soft caresses as if he wanted to commit to memory what Yoongi must look like, and that was probably the case. He secretly wished Jimin touched him liked this because he enjoyed it as much as he did. It was intimate and he could feel how careful Jimin was as if he feared he could hurt him somehow.

He felt Jimin’s fingers trail up his face to his temple and over his eyelids, brushing over his eyebrows and on the slope of his nose. He ran the tip of his pointer finger over the dimple of Yoongi’s Cupid’s bow and down the corner of his thin lips until his fingers reached his jaw.

Yoongi hissed softly between his teeth when Jimin’s fingers brushed right over the wound on his face and Jimin immediately froze.

“Right here?”

“Yeah.”

Jimin ran his fingers over the area, making sure he wasn’t hurting Yoongi.

“Thank you.” Yoongi opened his eyes and basked in the emotion written all over Jimin’s face, not needing to see his eyes to know what he was feeling. “For protecting me.”

He smiled, shifting closer to Jimin to be able to brush the tip of their noses together in an eskimo kiss. Jimin giggled softly, his warm breath hitting Yoongi’s face. It wasn't something he did often, but it never failed to make Jimin smile.

“I’ll never let anyone make fun of you.” He whispered. “He was sticking papers on your back and I stuck a fist on his nose. I think it’s fair.”

Jimin laughed again, his lips stretched so wide his eyes formed the shape of two small crescent moons. Yoongi couldn’t keep his hands to himself anymore and rested his palm on the side of Jimin’s neck, rubbing his thumb on the soft skin. His ears flicked at the touch and he hummed contently.

“What did the paper say?”

Yoongi made a face, remembering the mean jokes and cruel words that made his blood boil in his veins.

“It doesn’t matter, Jiminie.”

“Please, Yoongi. You don’t need to shield me from this kind of thing. You know I’m not that weak.”

Yoongi sighed and relented, lying on his back and watching the ceiling.

“I don’t remember clearly. I was so mad when I read the first one that it’s all a blur.” He spoke honestly and Jimin waited. “But some were jokes about your blindness; others were calling you a pet.”

Jimin sighed but when Yoongi looked back at him, he wasn’t as sad as he feared he’d be.

“He’s an asshole.”

“Yes, he is.” Yoongi reached his right hand out and scratched the base of Jimin’s right ear, making him sigh again. “But he won’t mess with you again. I also don’t think Taehyung will let this go yet.”

Jimin made a face.

“I hope he won’t get into trouble, too.”

“It was worth it, though.” Yoongi hummed with his voice full of mirth and Jimin shook his head with a smile. They were so close that Yoongi just had to move his head up a little to rub their noses together again but he stopped himself. He knew Jimin felt comfortable enough with him to enjoy all the touches they shared, from the innocent ones to what would be considered too intimate for them, as just friends, to share. And Yoongi was a coward at heart, always afraid he’d show too much. He pushed his fears to the back of his head before shrugging. “It’s not like I’ll be here for long.”

Jimin’s ear flattened against his head and Yoongi cursed internally for saying the wrong thing. He watched as Jimin sighed.

“You’ll wait for me in college, right?”

He didn’t even have to think about it.

“Of course! We already decided we’re gonna be roommates, right? You can be sure that when you start college, you’ll have a place to stay with me.”

Yoongi was twenty when he decided he was going to confess.

He thought his feelings for Jimin would fade away during college, especially because he’d be alone for two whole years before Jimin finished high school. There was a time he believed he made it. Yoongi didn’t think about him so often and he didn’t stay awake at night wondering how Jimin was doing or if Taehyung was keeping an eye on him as he promised he would do. He could finally stop thinking about his friend and start focusing on his assignments, which were growing bigger as finals approached. He even went on a few dates with a couple of people.

But one winter break was all it took for everything to come back in full force. When Yoongi went back to his hometown to spend the holidays, all it took was a look in Jimin’s direction for him to feel as if his chest was about to burst.

He didn’t pay attention to it at first because he had missed Jimin like crazy and all he could do was throw his bag on the floor, making his mother sigh with a roll of her eyes, and run to Jimin, who had a big smile and had his arms already raised for a hug he knew Yoongi would give him, his cane forgotten somewhere in the Min household.

When Yoongi hugged Jimin’s waist and felt him hold onto him just as tight he felt as if everything was right in the world again. He hadn’t really noticed how much he missed Jimin’s physical presence until he had him in his arms again. He couldn’t help the thought that Jimin was everything he needed to have a perfect Christmas.

It was this thought that made him realize he never got over Jimin. He had gotten busy enough to be distracted from his thoughts, but what he was feeling at that moment, pressing Jimin’s body against his own and feeling his tail curling around his thigh, was even stronger than what he felt when he left for college.

And as Jimin withdrew and smiled so hard his eyes turned into little crescents, his ears twitching with excitement, Yoongi thought he was completely fucked.

Now, once again during Christmas season, Yoongi still believed he was fucked because he was as gone for Park Jimin as he had been two years before. Only now, they saw each other every single day as Jimin had finally started college and was rooming with Yoongi, just as they had planned when they were still high school students.

They both were on winter break and they were going to go back to their hometown but had to change plans because Jimin caught a cold and no one wanted to make him endure a long trip when he could barely keep himself awake, sleeping away most of his sickness.

Yoongi entered their apartment and loosened his scarf, sighing. His clothes were humid because of how heavy it was snowing and he needed to take a warm bath after the hell that was going to a convenience store so close to Christmas Eve. But as he looked down at the bag he was carrying in one hand, Yoongi couldn’t help the way he smiled. Jimin was feeling a little bit down ever since they decided to spend Christmas on campus and Yoongi wanted to cheer him up a little, even if that meant he had to leave their cozy apartment in the middle of a snowstorm to get him cocoa powder.

He walked to their dark living room, grimacing at the way even his socks were wet as he waited for his eyes to get used to the lack of light. Jimin said every time someone asked him that he didn’t see a reason to have the lights on when he was alone in their apartment because it was useless for him, and Yoongi got used to walking through dark places way before they started living together, back when they were kids and he liked to visit Jimin in the Park residence, as Jimin's room always had the lights off. Jimin always turned on the lights as soon as he sensed his presence, even after Yoongi told him countless times not to bother and that he would turn the lights on if he needed to. But Yoongi liked the routine they created, how Jimin didn’t even seem to think anymore when he grabbed the remote (which Yoongi installed one month before Jimin arrived but never told him, letting him think the apartment’s lights had always been controlled by remote) and turned the lights on for him.

Yoongi rolled his eyes when he saw Jimin lying on the couch with eyes closed and a blanket covering his legs while his ears flicked slightly with the soft hum of his cell phone, placed near his neck. The small crease on his forehead was enough indication that he was studying, probably hearing the few lectures he missed before winter break started. Some of his classmates must have recorded and emailed to him.

Yoongi got closer and listened for a few seconds to be sure he wasn’t just hearing a song. When he heard the male voice on the speaker talking about psychological tests, he sighed and crossed his arms, taking care not to drop the bag with the powder. He knew Jimin was aware of his presence because he turned the living room lights on when Yoongi was taking his boots off and because of how his right ear moved in his direction when he sighed.

“You should be resting.”

Jimin smiled and pressed the side button of his phone to lock it and stop the player.

“I am resting.” He gestured at his body and cleared his throat in an attempt to make his voice sound firmer, which didn’t really work with how hoarse it sounded. “I’m lying down and not moving a single muscle. Just as you told me.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes again and placed a hand on Jimin’s forehead, happy he wasn’t too warm anymore.

“I don’t think studying is a way of relaxing. Just yesterday you had a headache.”

Jimin waved his concerns away, his tail slipping from under the blanket and moving around, trying to find Yoongi, who moved closer until he could run his fingers through the soft fur, smiling at the way Jimin curled it around his wrist.

“I’m feeling better today. I thought I could use some of my free time to study a little.”

Yoongi shook his head and caressed his tail one last time before pulling away and walking to the kitchen to drop the powder on the counter.

“I’ll take a shower and cook something. You better study while I’m in there because I’ll take your phone away as soon as I’m back.”

Jimin’s giggle, even if not as high pitched as usual, still sounded like bells and put a small smile on Yoongi’s own lips.

“Please, don’t poison me.”

“Just for that, I won’t give you any hot cocoa, you ungrateful bastard.”

He did give Jimin the hot cocoa after he heated up the soup they had in their fridge and made Jimin eat it.

They were sitting side by side on the couch, Jimin’s phone tucked inside Yoongi’s backpack on the floor. As soon as Yoongi sat down near Jimin and gave him his drink, he scooted closer until their sides were touching and let go of the blanket in favor of Yoongi’s warm body, looping his tail around his waist and touching their shoulders together.

Yoongi had a book open on his lap and was reading it out loud, immersed in the story, while his right hand ran through Jimin’s hair, scratching the base of his right ear from time to time. He looked away from his book when he felt Jimin nudge his side with his left hand.

“Christmas is next week,” Yoongi hummed in agreement. “What will you do?”

Yoongi frowned, watching Jimin’s profile as he took a sip of the hot cocoa.

“I don’t know yet. Do you want to eat something special? I think we can still order something at the bakery and-”

“Will you spend it here?”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi closed his book and put it to the side, on the cushion. “Of course I’ll spend it in here, where else could I go?”

“You were invited to Gabe’s party, weren’t you? I thought you’d like to go.”

Jimin closed his eyes and cupped the now empty mug in his hands, resting his head on the back of the couch, forcing Yoongi to pull his arm from over his shoulders. He turned to face Jimin, wanting to see his expression.

“You wanna go? If you’re feeling okay, we can. We still have a couple of days and-”

“I wasn’t invited, Yoongi. You were.” Jimin cut him off and Yoongi closed his mouth, looking at him with a frown between his eyebrows, understanding where Jimin was going with this but not knowing why he thought it was something Yoongi would want. “You can go, you know. There’s no need to stay with me, you know I can take care of myself.”

“I know that. But why do you think I wanna go?” He scoffed. “I don’t even like parties. And you don’t like how I smell of smoke and beer when I go to one.”

Jimin opened his eyes and Yoongi watched his colored orbs for a while, never getting used to how beautiful they were. His eyes were focused straight ahead, moving slightly to the side from time to time and the frown he had on told Yoongi he was getting exasperated.

“It doesn’t matter what I like or not. You don’t need to be stuck in the house with me just because I caught a cold. I don’t need a babysitter for Christmas, you can go have some fun.”

“Why are you saying this?” Jimin’s tail was hitting the couch on his side and his ears were flattened against his skull, showing how upset he was. Yoongi touched his neck with his fingertips as a warning before pressing his palm against Jimin’s warm skin, moving it to his nape in a caress he knew relaxed him. “I know you don’t want to be alone for Christmas, so why are you asking me to go away?”

“I’m not asking you to ‘go away’.” Jimin blinked a couple of times and put the mug on the cushions to his right before touching Yoongi’s arms until he found his wrist, pushing it away. “I just wanna be sure you want to spend it with me. You’re always with me, Yoongi, and I’m happy for it, I really am. But are you?

“What the-” Yoongi whispered as he looked at Jimin with wide eyes. He took a deep breath and thought about what to say to make Jimin understand he didn’t feel like a babysitter. That he liked to be with him. “Of course I am. Do you really think I’d do something I didn’t want? And for so long?”  He reached out and took Jimin’s hand in his, not allowing himself to feel bad about the little jump Jimin gave at the sudden touch. Yoongi tightened his grip when he tried to pull away before lifting his other hand to also cup Jimin’s, caressing the palm of it with one of his thumbs. “How long have we known each other? How long have I been by your side? Do you really think I don’t want to? Jimin, no one, not even you, can force me to do something that I really don’t want to do. You know that.”

Jimin’s shoulders fell and his ear curved to the sides, a little forlornly.

“Okay.” Yoongi was about to smile, happy for making Jimin understand, when he took a deep breath and continued talking. “But how will you know new people if you're always with me?”

Yoongi opened and closed his mouth a few times before frowning.

“I do get to know new people. I introduced you to a few friends of mine a few months back, didn’t I?” Yoongi knew he spoke bullshit when the tip of Jimin’s tail quickly flipped up and down, what was his version of an eye roll. “What?”

“I’m talking about getting to know new people, Yoongi. Dating.”

“Oh.”

Indeed, Yoongi rarely left his apartment without taking Jimin with him into town. People were so used to seeing them together all the time that even those who once tried to flirt with Yoongi at first, gave up. Yoongi never felt bothered by it because he was in love with Jimin, so it never seemed like a problem to spend time with him when he looked forward to it.

“Yeah.” Jimin closed his eyes and pulled his hand free from Yoongi’s, pulling the blanket to the side and standing up from the couch. “So you don’t need to stay here for Christmas. I can order some pizza, I’m sure someone must be working on Christmas Eve. I’m not even that sick anymore. A little indisposition won’t kill me. You know I can take care of myself.”

He was about to walk around the couch when Yoongi gripped his shirt and made him stop.

“Do you want me to go?”

Yoongi’s voice was low but Jimin’s hearing was sensible enough for him to hear him and his ears flicked back at the sound of his voice. He kept quiet for a while and Yoongi waited with his breath caught in his throat, feeling naked in Jimin’s presence. His question carried more meanings than the obvious one and if Jimin said no, that he didn’t want him to go, Yoongi would gather all his courage and confess. He'd stop being a coward and would tell Jimin about his feelings.

“Yeah, I do.” Yoongi opened his mouth and let a small breath slip through his lips, letting go of Jimin’s shirt, feeling like there was a hand clutching painfully at his heart. “I want you to know someone good, Yoongi.”

Yoongi’s first thought was to say he didn’t want to find anyone, that he didn’t want to go, but Jimin’s answer hurt more than he thought it would, so he just sighed.

“Okay, then.”

He watched as Jimin walked to his room, his left hand touching the walls and objects as he navigated between their furniture with practiced ease until he was locking himself in his room.

Yoongi ran a hand through his hair and took Jimin’s empty mug of cocoa, standing up and walking to the kitchen, trying to keep his head empty of bad thoughts.

Yoongi woke up the next day to the shrill ring of his phone near his head. He cursed and turned to the opposite side, burying his face in his pillow and deciding to ignore the call. He sighed contently when the person who was calling him gave up but before he could relax his body enough to fall back asleep, his phone was ringing again.

“Fucking shit.”

He rolled back to his previous position on the bed and grabbed his phone, unplugging the charger and narrowing his eyes against the lit screen, trying to see who the fuck was calling him.

He lifted an eyebrow when he managed to read Taehyung’s name. He raised his eyes to the clock on the corner of the screen, seeing it wasn’t even 7am yet. He frowned, feeling a little worried now because Taehyung usually didn’t make early calls. He hardly ever called at all, preferring to text.

He accepted the call and put the phone to his ear.

“What is it Taehyung?” He cleared his throat to get rid of the traces of sleep. “Something wrong?”

"What the fuck happened?”

He sounded serious and even a little worried, what made Yoongi even more confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“What did you say to Jimin?”

That was enough to make Yoongi sit down on his bed, crawling back until he was leaning against the headboard, pulling his knees to his chest, blinking his eyes to wake up fully.

“Jimin? What happened to him?”

“I don’t know!” Taehyung almost screamed and Yoongi winced at the tone. “He called me last night and I think he cried himself to sleep. He didn’t make sense, talking about random things and he was breathing really fast and talking really quietly and I don’t know what happened!”

Yoongi widened his eyes and pulled his blankets away, standing up from the bed.

“I didn’t hear a thing, was he feeling bad?”

Taehyung took a deep breath on the other end of the line and Yoongi didn’t know if he was trying to keep calm or preparing himself to do a really long rant. Knowing Taehyung it could be both. Yoongi was about to open his door and run to Jimin’s room when Taehyung started speaking .

“He spoke something about ruining everything and how he didn’t want your pity and some bullshit like that.”

“What?”

“I don’t think he knew he wasn’t making sense. He said he didn’t want you to go but he also didn’t want you to stay out of pity.” Taehyung sighed. “I don’t know what the fuck happened, but I was with him on the phone until 2 am, I think. I wanted to call you earlier, but I was dead tired.” He groaned then. “Seriously, Yoongi. Get your shit together and do something about Jimin.” Yoongi opened his mouth but no sound left. “I know you love him. Everyone back home knew you loved him. The only person who doesn’t know is Jimin and that’s only because he can’t see how stupid you look when you’re looking at him.”

Yoongi knew there was no reason for him to lie, so he walked back to his bed and sat down on the edge of it, resting the elbow of his free arm on his knee.

“I don’t want him to think I’m trying to take advantage of him.”

Taehyung made an annoying noise at the back of his throat.

“Why would he think that, for God’s sake?”

Yoongi sighed, feeling too drained to be mad at Taehyung for being a little shit.

“He’s a hybrid, Tae.” This shut Taehyung up. “You know how some people treat hybrids. I don’t want him to think I’m one of those.”

Taehyung breathed noisily on his end of the phone.

“You’re really dense, aren’t you hyung?”

Yoongi blinked a couple of times before frowning, feeling a little bit angry.

“The fuck, Tae?”

“Jimin’s not stupid, hyung. You’ve known each other since you were kids. If you wanted to take advantage of him you would’ve done it already. Jimin trusts you in a way he doesn’t with anyone else, not even me. And he knows you’re better than that. He might be a hybrid but he deserves to have this kind of love too. You're just denying him.”

“What, I’m-” Yoongi stuttered, baffled by Taehyung’s words. “I’m not denying anything! If he felt something for me he could have shown it by now!”

“He did!” This time Taehyung really screamed, but Yoongi’s heart was beating too fast for him to even pull his phone away from his ear. “Hyung, you have no idea how painful it is to watch you two! He’s always clinging to you and you know he doesn’t need any help walking around, not with his hearing and his cane. He’s always kissing your cheek and rubbing his face on your shoulder. He’s always wrapping his tail around you and keeping you close. How can’t you see?”

Yoongi gulped and licked his lips, feeling his mouth dry.

“He’s always been affectionate, Tae. Ever since we were kids.”

Taehyung made a noise of agreement.

“I know. But hyung, there’s a boundary for this kind of thing. Jimin’s affectionate, yeah. He’s always touching people when he talks and he always wraps his tail around me when he hugs me, and he hugs me every time we meet.” He took a deep breath again and this time Yoongi knew it was because he would rant. “But hyung, He never kisses me. He only does this with you. He always looks for your hand and he touches you so. Fucking. Much.” Taehyung groaned. “And the way he smiles when he hears your voice! He’s too shy to say it out loud but Jimin’s been saying he loves for years now, Yoongi. How can you be so stupid? I swear to God, you’re both so dumb, oh my God! I promised not to get in the way but I’ve been seeing you two idiots for YEARS now and I just can’t take it anymore!”

Yoongi ignored Taehyung’s insults and thought about everything he said. He had already noticed how often Jimin touched him, of course, but he always thought it was something that came with knowing him for so long. He was Jimin’s oldest friend and they were comfortable with each other after sleeping together in the same bad more often than he could count when they were kids, huddled under the covers in his or Jimin's room. Yoongi didn’t even know when his friendly affection grew into something more. He often wondered if he loved Jimin since the first time he saw him, so small and cute in front of his neighbors’ house.

But what Taehyung told him made complete sense and Yoongi was afraid it could be because of how hopeful his words were making him feel. So he interrupted Taehyung, who was still bad mouthing him.

“How can you be so sure he loves me, Tae?”

Taehyung sighed again.

“I was right about you, wasn’t I? Have some faith in me. I’m not that dense.” Yoongi took a deep breath and nodded, telling himself that maybe he should risk it after all. “Unlike you.”

“Fuck you.”

Jimin spent the remaining days until Christmas basically hidden in his room, not acknowledging Yoongi’s presence during the few times he walked around the place (usually to eat something, take his medicine or to look for tissues for his runny nose). That's why Yoongi hadn’t had a good opportunity to talk to him, not when he was being so unapproachable.

Taehyung said he was being a coward and Yoongi actually agreed with him.

But it was already Christmas Eve and Yoongi decided he wouldn’t keep things like that for long. Jimin was inside his room again and he hadn’t talked to him since the day before. Yoongi left the apartment in the early evening to buy a cake for them to share and spent longer than he predicted on the streets. Their favorite bakery was closed (being family-owned, they probably closed to enjoy the day) and he had to walk to the closest one, which was crowded. Yoongi stood for more than one hour inside the medium-sized building, waiting to place his order. Then, waiting for them to finish the cake because the ones they had on display were all sold a couple of minutes before Yoongi had ordered his.

When he arrived at his apartment, he had a small sized red velvet cake in his hands but his feet were hurting like a bitch and feeling cold as fuck because he wet his socks again, somehow. There was probably a hole in his old boots. He was at least dry from the pants up, the weather being kind of nice for once.  He closed the front door softly, not bothering to turn on the apartment’s lights. He stopped only to take off his boots and coat before walking straight to Jimin’s room.

He stopped in front of the open wooden door and took a deep breath as he tried to gather all the courage he had in his small body, praying to God he wouldn’t chicken out at the last minute and say some lame shit about the importance of Jimin’s friendship. He was praying for a Christmas miracle, he thought bitterly.

He glanced inside and saw Jimin lying on his bed, on his side. He was holding the small glass angel he received as a disrespectful gift right after he arrived on campus. There was a lamp inside it that glowed in different colors when someone pressed the button on the bottom.

It was beautiful and it changed from purple to light pink to blue, but it was a clear joke at Jimin’s lack of vision. He arrived at the apartment with glassy eyes, telling Yoongi about how one of his classmates gave him the object after saying I thought you’d like the color but-oh, yeah. Such a shame you can’t see. Yoongi had Taehyung’s help to discover who was the one who had given Jimin the angel. Yoongi didn’t hit anyone this time, but he did make a couple of threats the boy had no idea Yoongi would never fulfill. After a while Jimin started turning on the angel and cupping his hands around the glass, saying he liked to feel how warm it was.

Now, Jimin had both his hands on the warm glass and the lights illuminated his form in the dark room, creating a beautiful glow on his skin that made him look even more like the beautiful creature he was. Yoongi watched him for a few seconds before starting to feel like a creep. For once, Jimin didn’t know he was there. His ears weren’t moving in his direction and he must be distracted enough to not hear Yoongi’s breathing, which was loud, or his footsteps approaching. He had a sad frown on his face, the corner of his lips turned down, and his eyes were closed, the movements of his hand on the glass surface the only indication he wasn’t asleep.

Yoongi shook his head and closed his eyes, counting from one to ten before balancing the cake on one hand and knocking on the door to catch Jimin’s attention. Jimin’s ears flicked in the sound’s direction before his eyes snapped open and a frown appeared between his eyebrows, a little confused at the sound when he thought he was alone. He sat up on the bed with unfocused eyes, putting the glass angel on his lap.

“Yoongi?”

His voice was soft and Yoongi felt bad for the trace of fear he heard.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He cleared his throat and scratched his cheek with a finger, not knowing exactly how to start saying all he wanted. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

The way Jimin’s body relaxed when he confirmed it was indeed Yoongi melted him from inside out. Even if he was upset, Jimin still trusted in him. He pressed his lips together, though, at the way Jimin’s shoulders tensed again after a few seconds.

“Oh.” He licked his lips, his fingers shifting over the glass surface as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “I thought you were at the party already.”

Yoongi blinked at him in confusion before sighing, feeling silly. Of course, Jimin would have thought he was at the damned party. He left just before growing dark and came back almost at 9 pm. Taehyung was right. He was dumb as fuck.

“No, I wasn’t.” He walked closer and sat down on the edge of Jimin’s bed, looking at him to see if he would ask him to go away. When he didn’t, Yoongi relaxed. “I went out to buy us a cake. But the Porters' bakery was closed and I had to look for another one. And it was far away and fucking packed.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I should have told you where I was going.”

Jimin shook his head to dismiss his apology. Yoongi looked at the cake he had placed on his lap and he was thinking about a good way to confess when Jimin spoke.

“Why aren’t you at the party?”

Yoongi arched an eyebrow at Jimin.

“I told you I didn’t want to go.”

Jimin frowned and Yoongi saw his grip tighten a little around the glass.

“I thought you were going. After we had that talk about you meeting new people.”

“You had that talk alone, actually.” Yoongi said, watching the way the blue light painted Jimin’s white furry ear. “I never said I wanted to meet new people. That was all you.” Jimin arched an eyebrow and opened his mouth to say something Yoongi probably wouldn’t like, so he cut him off. “Do you want to meet new people, Jimin?”

He put all the innuendos he could on the question and watched with pleasure the way Jimin’s face contorted in a scandalous expression.

“Of course not!”

“Then why would I want to?” He closed his eyes and counted to three before blurting out: “I want to spend Christmas with you, not at a party full of people I don’t know.”

Jimin closed his mouth and moved his head down, oddly colored eyes shining with the angel's lights, as he thought about what Yoongi told him.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” Yoongi didn’t have a problem affirming this. It was no secret he preferred Jimin’s presence over everyone else’s. He bit his tongue until the point it almost bled to force himself to open his mouth and keep talking. “I-I don’t need to meet new people, not the way you told me to, because there's no place to anyone else in my life. Not like that.”

Jimin moved his face in Yoongi’s direction as he followed the sound of his voice and the way the pink light hit his cheek made Yoongi so mesmerized that he didn’t pay attention when Jimin spoke. He watched as the pink light turned to blue and created the most beautiful hues and shadows on Jimin’s face. His tail was thrown over his own lap with the tip curled around his thigh and the white fur changed colors together with the glass angel. Yoongi also couldn’t help the thought that Jimin’s lips looked even more inviting when the pink light hit them.

“Yoongi?”

Jimin raised his voice slightly and Yoongi finally noticed he was speaking with him. When he focused on his expression, and not only on how gorgeous he looked bathed in the colorful lights, he saw he looked a little bit distressed as if he said something he shouldn’t and was regretting already.

“I’m sorry, Jiminie.” He chuckled a little and decided to throw all his reservation to the wind. There was no way he could go on hiding what he felt, not when he wanted to kiss Jimin so bad. “It’s just- I never told you about the angel’s colors, have I?”

Jimin cocked his head to the side, confused at the change in subject.

“They change, right? You said it once.”

“Yeah, but have I ever told you how beautiful you look when they hit you?”

Jimin’s mouth hung open for a couple of seconds before he registered what Yoongi said and his cheeks painted a pretty pink. When he spoke, his voice was a little bit weaker than before.

“What?”

“They’re purple, pink and blue.” Yoongi started, watching the way Jimin’s expression made it clear what he was feeling: a mix of shyness, surprise, and delight. “I know you don’t know colors but…” He thought a little before continuing. “When the purple light hits your face it’s like you’re a dark sky painted on a canvas, ready to be coated full of stars.” Jimin’s cheeks got even pinker and Yoongi took a deep breath to get rid of his own insecurity and go on.

“The pink light makes you even softer because it makes your lips look like strawberries, big and luscious. It makes your face look a bit flushed and it's the same color it gets when someone makes you laugh too much, what is one of my favorite things to see.” He licked his lips and watched, a little worriedly, as Jimin lowered his head in an attempt to hide from him. The movement made the blue light illuminate almost his whole face and Yoongi smiled softly.

“And the blue one makes your skin look like the evening sky a few minutes before the night comes. It’s the right balance between hot and cold, the perfect warmth.” He sighed. “You just look beautiful. Even more than usual.”

Yoongi saw when Jimin gulped and when his grip tightened even more around the angel but he didn’t say a word and the way his ears were lowered was starting to make Yoongi wonder if all of this was a good idea. When Jimin finally spoke, Yoongi had to lean closer to him to be able to understand what he was saying.

“Why did you tell me all of this?”

He didn’t sound upset. He sounded hopeful and a little bit scared and Yoongi finally convinced himself that Taehyung was right. Jimin did feel something for him. He didn’t know if it was love like Taehyung had said, but he felt something, and Yoongi wasn’t letting the opportunity go away. He put the cake to the side, so he could shift on the bed until he was facing Jimin’s profile, and crossed his legs on the mattress. Jimin noticed what he was doing and moved too, until they were face to face, Yoongi watching Jimin’s face and the way his ears and tail flicked while Jimin blinked his eyes that were looking somewhere on Yoongi's chest.

“Because I think you should know that I think you’re the most beautiful, amazing person I know and that I really love you.” Jimin’s mouth fell open and he took a sharp intake of breath, his thumbs running up and down the glass angel while his tail moved on the mattress to his side, restlessly. “I’ve loved you since forever and I don’t want to go to that party or any other place if you’re not there.”

Jimin took a deep breath and blinked quickly a couple of times before he shook his head and lifted his hands between them, leaning forward. Yoongi feared he was going to push him away before he understood what he was doing. He touched Yoongi’s chest (and he was sure Jimin could feel how hard his heart was beating) and moved his hands over his sweater, up his neck, and to his chin. He moved his fingers around Yoongi’s jaw until his fingertips found his lips.

Jimin shifted to his knees and walked on them over the mattress until they touched Yoongi’s crossed legs. He then leaned down, his fingers moving to the corner of Yoongi’s mouth and acting as a guide. Yoongi raised his head (gently, to not push his fingers away) and when Jimin closed the distance, he didn’t kiss him full on the lips but a little to the right side. It still felt perfect for Yoongi. Jimin’s lips were a little chapped because of the cold weather but they were warm and soft and the way he sighed against Yoongi’s mouth made him lift his own hands to Jimin’s wrists, running his palms up his arms to curl his fingers around his biceps.

Jimin soon pulled away to whisper against his lips.

“I love you too.” His face contorted in a way too similar to how it did when he was about to cry and he buried it on the right side of Yoongi’s neck. Jimin nudged his legs with his left knee until Yoongi straightened them, his left calf hanging off the bed. Jimin crawled to the space between his legs and sat down with his left side touching Yoongi’s chest. He put his legs over Yoongi’s left one and hugged his waist with his left arm, his right hand holding on his neck as his face was still hidden on the curve between Yoongi’s neck and shoulder. He ran his right hand up and down Jimin’s back and lifted his other one to grab the hand he had on his neck, interlocking their fingers. “I love you.”

Despite how shaken up Jimin looked, he didn’t cry and it didn’t take long for him to pull away and lay his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. His tail curled around Yoongi’s hips and his left ear flicked softly when he kissed it.

Yoongi rubbed his nose on Jimin’s hair and sighed.

“I can’t believe Taehyung was right.”

“Hm?”

He shook his head with a small chuckle.

“It’s nothing.”

He pulled his left hand away from Jimin’s to put his pointer finger under Jimin’s chin and lift his head up. Jimin complied and closed his eyes. Yoongi dropped small kisses on his lips, trying to make him grow used to the feeling, knowing Jimin never was intimate with anyone, unlike himself. Jimin rested his right hand on Yoongi’s shoulder and slid it up until he reached his face, cupping his cheek before he angled his own head a little to the left in what he thought would feel good. Yoongi hummed in encouragement kissed him a little longer, a little harder. He caught his bottom lip and sucked it softly, just to see how Jimin would react.

Jimin shivered a little with the sensation and held Yoongi’s head in place to do the same with him, moving his lips over Yoongi’s from side to side, softly, before closing them around his bottom one.

“I can’t believe you love me too.” Jimin whispered against Yoongi’s mouth. “I thought you didn’t feel the same and didn’t want to reject me out loud. I always thought I was so obvious.”

Yoongi shook his head and hugged Jimin around his shoulders with his right arm, running his fingers on any part of his arm he could reach.

“I’ve always loved you. I’m just really fucking dumb.”

Jimin giggled, beautiful and happy.

“You sound like Tae.”

Yoongi scoffed.

“He might have told me this.”

Jimin smiled and pulled away from Yoongi. Before he could ask what he was doing, Jimin was lying down on the bed, close to the wall. Yoongi smiled and took the cake from where he had left it on the mattress, putting it on the floor. He laid down next to Jimin and moved closer, supporting himself on his right elbow to be able to hover over Jimin, who lifted his own right hand and searched for Yoongi’s face as soon as he felt him close by. Yoongi grabbed his hand in the air and brought it to his cheek before touching Jimin’s neck and leaning down.

They kissed for a while, exploring each other with their mouths and feeling the texture of their skin with small and sweet kisses. Yoongi kissed Jimin’s cheek and his neck and Jimin would pull him up from time to time to drop a kiss on his jaw or his lips. After a few minutes, Jimin shifted until Yoongi was lying a little on top on him and he could lace their legs together, putting his left one between Yoongi’s, who relaxed and rested his weight on him, knowing Jimin could take it.

When they kissed again, Yoongi deepened it a little, licking gently into Jimin’s mouth. Jimin groaned lowly at the sensation and curled his tail around Yoongi’s left thigh, burying the fingers of his right hand in his hair, holding him in place as he tried to reproduce everything Yoongi did to him, sighing pleasantly when he did anything that felt really good, his ears flattened against his hair.

Jimin was panting slightly when Yoongi pulled away and he smiled at how flushed he was. Looking as beautiful as ever after being kissed silly.

“I bought a red velvet cake.” Yoongi whispered. Jimin smiled and caressed Yoongi’s face with his right hand, rubbing his thumb over his swollen lips.

“Merry Christmas, Yoongi.”

Yoongi kissed his lips before moving down to kiss under his ear.

“Merry Christmas, Sunshine.”