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Alec hadn’t ever understood the concept of separation anxiety.
When he was younger, his parents explained the term to him as a sort of panic caused by a certain person being out of reach. At the time, Alec’s greatest fear had simply been demons. He hadn’t been able to bridge the fear he felt when looking at footage of Raum demons and the apparent fear that Jace felt when Alec went to Idris for a few days.
Even when he was old enough to understand why someone might feel that, he hadn’t experienced it himself. Sure, he felt worry when Jace or Isabelle didn’t call back quickly enough, but he had the ability to be patient. He knew that Jace and Isabelle were both fully capable of protecting themselves.
And he knows Magnus is capable, too. But for some reason the glass wall that’s currently separating them is making Alec’s head spin.
“Hey,” Jace comes up from behind, greeting Alec with a firm hand on his shoulder, “you doing okay?”
“I’m worried.”
“I know, man.” Jace sighs and looks briefly at the glass. The environment around them is uncomfortably unfamiliar and Alec had honestly forgotten it even existed within the Institute. They’d never needed a quarantine room before, and even when he was little the blank whiteness of the area had made him uneasy enough to avoid exploring.
On one side of the glass was the actual quarantine, and on the other was the waiting area, where he and Jace stood currently. There was a large crowd still in quarantine as people anxiously waited to be cleared, and no matter how hard Alec looked he couldn’t find Magnus amidst the mass.
“Did Imogen say anything?” He asks Jace, tearing his eyes away from the crowd.
“The weapon was definitely intended to harm Downworlders.” Jace says. “But it’s nothing lethal, or even that serious. It’s almost like it was meant as a prank or something. Which--that doesn’t make it okay, but. It’s better than like, a death threat.”
Alec waits until Jace is done correcting himself. He’s been trying hard to fine tune his attitude towards Downworlders, and Alec is proud of him. Not that Jace has ever been inherently discriminatory, but still. There’s always room for improvement.
The glass door on the wall slides open and a fresh wave of people emerge. It’s mostly Shadowhunters, including Clary, but there are a few Downworlders. Alec spots Luke heading over, who looks equal parts confused and angry.
“What happened here?” Luke demands. “I’m here for five minutes and they pull me into quarantine! No one would answer a single question I had in there, it was like we were invisible!”
“I’m sorry, Luke.” Jace sighs. “Someone set off a device that spread a virus, so everyone in the Institute at the time is being cleared by the medical team, just to be safe. We don’t know much about it, but it’s not deadly.”
This doesn’t do much to make Luke’s apparent anger lessen, but his shoulders drop slightly from their guarded position. Alec knows it’s not the best time, but he feels the question trying to climb up his throat and burst from his mouth.
“Did you see Magnus in there?”
Luke looks at him as if noticing for the first time that Alec is standing there. He glances back at the glass and shakes his head. “Only Shadowhunters. A room full of Shadowhunters and not one of them would listen to me. And it looks like there’s only, what, five of us out here? They’re giving priority to the Shadowhunters.”
“Or the Shadowhunters are less likely to be infected.” Clary points out. Luke gives her a look with narrowed eyes and looks ready to speak when the door slides open again and a few more people trickle out. Luke seems to be right about Shadowhunters getting priority, seeing as Magnus is still inside and Alec is ready to run back in just to find him.
As if he’s sensing the impatience rising in Alec, Jace puts a calming hand up. “I can go check, okay?”
He heads toward the door just as Clary darts off in the direction of Sebastian, who Alec had kind of been hoping would be locked in quarantine for a little longer. Alec considers saying something to Luke, who’s irritated gaze is still locked on the glass, but he doesn’t know what to say.
Another burst of people fill the room, and Alec casts an anxious glance back inside. The crowd on the other side is significantly smaller than the crowd in the waiting area, and it looks to be mostly Downworlders.
Finally Alec catches sight of the bright electric blue of Magnus’ shirt. He’s mostly obstructed by the girl in front of him in line, but she looks to be almost finished with her examination. And then it’ll be Magnus’ turn, and he’ll be cleared, and he’ll join Alec in the land of the healthy and everything will be okay.
Alec keeps his gaze trained on the girl, who’s currently having her temperature checked. Her hand suddenly flies to her mouth, and Alec flinches when she doubles over suddenly and coughs blood.
“Christ.” Luke mutters, and Alec can only stare at Magnus, who’s fully in view and kneeling down to help the girl.
“No, no, no.” Alec whispers, trying to mentally will Magnus to get his hands away from the infected girl. “Magnus, stop.”
But there’s no stopping him. Magnus is the most likely person in the entire building to try to help someone at the risk of getting sick himself. Alec watches helplessly as the medics drag the girl to her feet and send her to the side wall, where beds are already filling up at an alarming rate.
Magnus talks with the medic at the front for a moment. Alec’s heart sinks at the sight of the medic shaking their head adamantly, and he swallows a pained whimper when Magnus heads toward the beds, his fists clenched at his sides.
“Sorry, kid.” Luke tells him. “He’ll be okay. He’s tough.”
Alec nods, choosing not to speak at the risk of crying. He doesn’t know what this feeling is in his stomach, this unholy mix of dread and fear and sorrow. It must be the feeling of not knowing if the person you love is going to be okay.
Luke taps his shoulder and points in the direction opposite of where Magnus is sitting. Jace is at the front with at least four medics surrounding him. He looks supremely annoyed and manages to push past them to get to the door.
“What was that about?” Alec asks when Jace joins them, looking significantly more shaken than when he went in.
“I uh, I had blood on my hands.” Jace answers, looking back down at his hands which are newly clean. “They were worried about infection, but I’m almost positive we’re immune.”
“Whose blood?” Luke asks.
“Simon’s.” Jace says softly. “He was coughing, I tried to help him. But really, he’ll be okay--”
“This is ridiculous.” Luke declares. “I shouldn’t have to wait here while my kid is in there with, what? Three medics? Shadowhunters never make us a priority and they aren’t about to start. They have to at least let us take care of our own.”
“They won’t let anyone back in.” Jace objects with an apologetic look that only grows by the second. “Listen, it’ll be okay. They’re taken care of in there.”
“I thought you said it wasn’t serious?” Luke demands, stepping forward and causing Jace to immediately step back. “Or is that just what they told you to make everyone feel better about it? You know, if we hadn’t been called here to give the millionth testimony about your two dead Shadowhunters, none of this would have happened.”
“I know--” Jace tries, but Luke is already pushing past him and heading toward the glass door. Alec moves to follow, but Jace stops him. “Alec, come on. You know I want to be able to help Magnus and Simon.”
“Then help them.” Alec says. Part of him knows that Jace is hardly the right person to be angry at. Jace is just trying to fulfill the role that’s been given to him and stay on his newfound family’s good side.
“Did you see the way they reacted when I had two drops of blood on me?” Jace asks, eyebrows raised. “They won’t let us in, Alec. There’s nothing I can do about that, and if you think that blaming me is going to help while you do the exact amount as me--”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I went inside to check, I got an answer, and I’m objectively telling you what’s going on. But I’m getting blamed, as if I’m the one who’s holding sick Downworlders hostage?”
“You’re right.” Alec scoffs. “You, the acting head of the Institute, don’t really have any control over what the Institute is doing. My apologies.”
“Fine.” Jace pulls a tight, humorless smile and throws one last glance at the glass. “Since I’m so useless in this situation, I’ll go.”
Everything about this feels wrong. Not just arguing with Jace, but the argument itself feels like a waste of time. Alec doesn’t know what the solution is, but it’s definitely not guilting Jace.
Luke returns seconds later, his expression stony and his eyes still narrowed. “They won’t let me in. Where can I find a chair?”
Alec returns from his search ten minutes later with two folding chairs in his hands. The rest of the Shadowhunters have cleared out, apparently uninterested in the twenty-something ill Downworlders within their walls.
Alec and Luke sit side by side, watching through the glass. Both Simon and Magnus appear to be asleep in beds right beside each other. Alec has his phone in his hands, unsure if he should text Magnus and risk waking him up.
Part of him thinks that Magnus may be comforted by the knowledge that Alec is right there, ready to break the glass if need be to hold him. Another part of him thinks that it might make Magnus desperate to get out, and Alec doesn’t want Magnus to stress while he’s already sick.
“I know you’re not the complaint department.” Luke says suddenly, jolting Alec out of his paradox. “But since you’re the only Shadowhunter here, I have to tell you what’s wrong here.”
Alec knows what’s wrong. His boyfriend is trapped inside a glass prison. Nevertheless, he nods and lets Luke continue.
“It’s not just the fact that a Shadowhunter used a biological weapon against Downworlders. What really makes this situation so transparently discriminatory is the fact that all of you aren’t doing a thing to fix it.”
Alec looks over at Luke and notices for the first time the way Luke is directing a cold glare at Alec himself. “You think I want my boyfriend in there?”
“That’s your problem.” Luke snaps his fingers and points at Alec, like a teacher whose just heard the correct answer in a sea of wrong ones. “You know why you care about this? Because it’s Magnus. Be honest with yourself. If Magnus wasn’t in that room, would you even be sitting here?”
No, Alec thinks. “If Simon wasn’t in there, would you?”
“Absolutely I would.” Luke says fiercely. “Because these are my people. And Downworlders only have each other. If the situation were reversed, and a Downworlder set off some weapon to make Shadowhunters hack up blood? Not only would we be called on like slaves to fix it, we’d be crucified as if it was all of us rather than just one. Tell me, Alec, is anyone out there looking for the Shadowhunter who did this?”
“I don’t know.” Alec admits.
“If a Downworlder even throws a punch at a Shadowhunter, the whole city knows.” Luke mutters. He crosses his arms over his chest and shifts back in his seat to face the glass again, apparently done with the conversation.
Alec feels rightfully scolded, his mind stinging like he’s been slapped. Only five minutes ago he’d felt a sort of solidarity with Luke, a feeling of righteousness at the two of them sitting together in an empty room. But Alec doesn’t deserve to pat himself on the back for being decent.
He should’ve said something to Luke sooner. He’d thought about it, and he hadn’t. Because it was too difficult, and because he was afraid of what had just happened. He was afraid of being held responsible. But isn’t he responsible? Doesn’t he have a direct familial route to the acting head of the Institute? He’d yelled at Jace just a half hour before and he’d thrown his worry and love and longing for Magnus into the entire argument.
But he’d never proposed a solution. And he’d never thought of anyone other than Magnus.
“I know we have a lot to work on.” Alec says after a moment of writing drafts for his upcoming speech in his head. “And I’m--I’m sorry for not seeing that I’m part of the problem. Shadowhunters don’t exactly grow up learning the value of humility.”
“That’s for sure.” Luke scoffs. He keeps his eyes trained on the glass, but his body shifts slightly in his seat toward Alec. He’s listening.
“I want to help fix things, and I mean that this time. Even if he can’t see it now, Jace being the head of the Institute is a good step. He’s much more willing to change than my parents. And I’m not saying this just for Magnus, alright, I’m saying it because this is wrong. This whole thing is wrong, and I should’ve done something before it even happened.”
“Look, kid, I’m not saying you need to singlehandedly fix a flawed institution that’s rooted in decades of bigotry.” Luke says with a slight laugh, finally looking away from the glass. “I’ve been working at this for years. And we do have progress sometimes, but recently it’s like for every step forward we have to take three steps back.”
“Things have been bad recently.” Alec nods solemnly and thinks of the years of progress that Valentine probably destroyed with just a month of spreading his rhetoric.
“We need to be allies.” Luke says firmly. “And allies need to be willing to take action for each other, not just place blame.”
Alec knows then what he needs to do. “Let’s get through that door, then.”
Luke gives him a broad grin and they stand together. Alec can already see medics coming to the door as they move closer. Luke puts a hand on Alec’s shoulder and leans down to whisper in his ear.
“Be calm.” He says.
Alec nods. He opens the door and is immediately surrounded by the medics, all of whom look ready to physically shove him back out. Alec holds up a placating hand and stays firmly planted to his spot.
“We’d like to help.” Alec proposes. “The fact that we haven’t already gotten sick seems like proof that we’re immune. You’re clearly short-staffed and there are a lot of people suffering in there. Please.”
The Shadowhunter closest to him immediately shakes his head. “Can’t risk it, Lightwood. You know the rules.”
“I’m willing to risk it.” Alec insists. “And you won’t get in trouble. I’ll take full responsibility. For Luke, too.”
“I’d like to be with my people.” Luke interjects. “I’m sure you would feel the same way if it were Shadowhunters who were suffering.”
“We can’t--”
“Come on.” Alec says quietly. “The more people we have, the sooner everyone gets better and the sooner you can go back to work. Okay?”
“And,” Luke adds, “even if you refuse, we will not move from this spot.”
Alec feels a flighty sort of panic in his stomach, because this honestly seems like a great way to get thrown in a holding cell. Luke squeezes his shoulder again. Alec glances over to his left, where Magnus is sitting up, propped on his elbows. He’s painfully pale except for two red bursts of fever on his cheeks and he mouths Alec’s name as if he’s unsure if Alec is really there or a delusion stirred up by his hazy brain.
“Right.” Alec confirms, clenching his fist until his nails dig into his palms. “Not moving.”
“Fine.” The medic finally says. “But if you’re staying, I’m leaving.”
“Not going to make much of a difference.” Luke mutters under his breath, and Alec has to swallow the urge to laugh. “Let’s go.”
Alec nearly collapses beside Magnus’ bed. He takes his face gently in his hands and frowns at the heat, but Magnus is smiling dazedly.
“I knew you’d come.” Magnus rasps. “I saw you waiting out there. Thought I was dreaming.”
“You weren’t.” Alec promises, kissing his clammy forehead. “I’m here, you’re alright.”
He glances over at where Simon is coughing into a bowl that Luke holds for him, his arm protectively around Simon’s shoulders. Someone else is coughing a few beds down, and Alec reminds himself that he isn’t just here for Magnus.
“I’ll be back soon, Magnus, okay? I have to help someone.” He helps his boyfriend lay back against his pillow and brushes his hair out of his eyes. “Close your eyes.”
It takes a full day for people to start feeling better. Jace and Isabelle come to help, along with loads of Downworlders who were informed of what happened. A number of Downworlders get cleared to leave after just one night of sleep, and Magnus looks much better by the middle of the next day.
“How do you feel?” Alec asks as he rejoins Magnus at his bed.
“Like I miss my cat.” Magnus grumbles. He’s apparently fed up with being locked in, especially when the fever is preventing his powers from working right. Alec smiles and kisses his forehead, which makes Magnus’ scowl lessen slightly.
“You’ll be out of here soon.” Alec promises. “And I’ll make dinner when we’re home.”
“A certified nurse who can also cook.” Magnus hums. “I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“I am in no way certified.” Alec laughs. “But someone had to do it. Luke talked to me about it and--if I ever do anything or--or even let someone else do something that’s harmful to you, tell me. I’ll fix it.”
“To me?” Magnus asks. “Or to Downworlders?”
“Downworlders.” Alec says firmly. “Any Downworlder. And I’m sorry for being complacent for this long. I should’ve realized sooner what was happening.”
“You grew up being taught that it was right.” Magnus shrugs. “The important thing is that you’re trying to change things now. Like this. This was good. And I even saw you being nice to Simon, so I know how big of a step this is for you.”
“He’s not that bad when he’s half asleep.” Alec laughs. He glances over at where Simon is sitting up and laughing with Maia as she sets a cloth against his forehead and rolls her eyes fondly at whatever he’s saying. Alec grew up thinking that vampires and werewolves hated each other, and yet here he was seeing two of them talk and laugh and help each other.
Unity, he thinks. And he’s ready to help.