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Merlin Holidays 2013
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2013-12-30
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Reaching Out

Summary:

Arthur found out about Merlin's magic a long time ago. He kept it secret from Merlin, trying not to think about how this knowledge changes the dynamic between the two of them. After a series of events, starting off with Merlin getting himself kidnapped, feelings can no longer be ignored...

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Reaching Out

Arthur watched as Merlin summoned the dragon. The dragon that he hadn't been able to defeat. That dragon Merlin controlled with nothing but his voice and his eyes - shining in the dark in a way that should make Arthur scream 'Magic!’ for all of Camelot to hear but instead made him fall into a pit of yearning.

More words in a language Arthur didn’t understand rolled from Merlin’s lips and then dragon was off, its impressive wings making a loud whooshing sound as it took to the sky, disappearing from sight. Arthur knew he should get away quickly, before Merlin could spot him on his way back to the Citadel, but he found himself unable to move, watching transfixed at Merlin’s eyes, still glowing in the dark. Inevitably those eyes found his. When they did, Arthur expected Merlin to panic, perhaps struggle to find some excuse; something to lead Arthur away from the only logical conclusion – that Merlin had magic. But instead those eyes met Arthur’s calmly, still glowing.
“Arthur…” It was Merlin’s voice but it sounded dangerous, commanding.
“Arthur,” Merlin repeated, getting closer with each step.

“Arthur – get up you lazy twat.”

The brightness of the room was more than a little disorientating but not as much as Merlin’s eyes were – bright blue and filled with mirth.

“Merlin!” Arthur protested. Merlin’s smile widened. “Don’t you ever knock?”

“You know me, I’ll never learn,” Merlin said sheepishly, “besides, you were fast asleep, you wouldn’t have heard it if I knocked your door with an axe.”

“An axe? You? Wielding an axe? This I’ve got to see first.”

Merlin simply rolled his eyes, turning around to pick out Arthur’s outfit for the day.

Arthur sank back into the pillows for a moment. He was bathed in sweat though even more embarrassing was the wet spot he was lying in, his nether regions were still tingling pleasantly. He looked at Merlin, humming his way through his early morning chores. Arthur told himself that it had all been a dream. Only that wasn’t entirely true. Arthur had watched Merlin talk to the dragon. But he hadn’t been caught staring. Merlin still believed him to be completely oblivious.

“What shirt will you wear to address the council today?” Merlin asked holding up two neatly washed and pressed shirts.

“The red one.” Arthur said, getting out of the bed and quickly hopping behind the screen. ”Idiot,” he added as an afterthought.

Merlin just chuckled.

xxx

"Are you alright, my lord?"

Arthur looked up questioningly at Leon as they stood on the sidelines of the practice field.

"You look tense, that is all."

"I am well."

Leon smiled, "What I meant to say was, that you looked like you could use... a distraction."

It didn't take Arthur long to deduce what Leon was pointing at, he laughed. "We could all use a distraction now and then."

Leon smiled back. "Forgive me if I spoke out of turn."

"You're not to worry, Leon. It is just not quite that simple for a man in my position." Arthur reasoned.

"Yes, but surely there is someone you trust..."

"It is not only a matter of trust." Arthur said firmly. Leon dropped the subject.

It wasn't wholly a matter of trust. Arthur trusted Merlin with his life, his father's kingdom... But Merlin remained a servant under his command. Arthur wasn't about to ask someone to his bed who couldn't say no without fearing repercussions. It was cruelly ironic, that the most powerful sorcerer in Camelot, possible in all of the kingdoms, was under Arthur’s command and thus Arthur’s to protect...

xxx

Protecting him was exactly what Arthur failed to do when Merlin got missing the next day, picking herbs for Gaius. Why do I even let him out of my sight, Arthur wondered, though he knew he couldn't always be there to protect Merlin.

It took a day before he managed to assemble a search party against his father's orders. It took another for the group to split up, in order to cover more ground. On the third day Leon's part of the group found him, among a pack of bandits headed for Camelot. Arthur rushed back and arrived in time to watch an unconscious Merlin being carefully brought into Gaius' chambers.

"What happened?" Arthur demanded out of breath as he stumbled into the workroom.

Leon looked at him, initial surprise quickly morphing to worry. "He was like this when we found him. The bandits refuse to talk, though we believe their intention was to use Merlin to reach you."

Leon reported the details of fight, the capture of the bandits and retrieving Merlin, who had been unconscious and had remained that way for the duration of the journey back to Camelot. Arthur looked from Merlin, pale and unconscious, to Gaius, the physician’s brow creased with worry. “What’s wrong with him?”

Gaius is quiet for a long time. “The bandits that you caught…” he started, “were they… an ordinary gang of thieves?”

“You mean to ask if they were sorcerers?” Leon asked, not meeting Arthur’s eyes as he spoke, “They are still awaiting questioning and a trial… But I’d say they were travelling with more than one suspicious item.”

Gaius nodded as if his suspicions were confirmed.

“Thank you Leon. Let us know as soon as possible if you find out more.” Arthur said. Leon had very likely saved Merlin’s life – Arthur was grateful for that – but he knew he needed to talk to Gaius in private.

“Can you tell what’s wrong with him?” Arthur asked the moment Leon closed the door behind him. “Will be alright?”

“He probably just needs rest,” Gaius said softly, sounding unconvinced.

“Gaius, you need to tell me what you know,” Arthur said firmly, “what you think happened to him to leave in him such a state without any obvious injuries…”

Gaius hesitated, “I cannot know for sure…”

Arthur bit back a groan of frustration. He knew what Gaius didn’t yet trust him with this, not when he was still trying to keep Merlin’s secret. “Those men… Those sorcerers, they took him for a reason, didn’t they? It wasn’t just because Merlin was my servant… It was because he has magic…”

Gaius looked like Arthur had slapped him, fear bordering on terror in his gaze. Arthur holds up his hands in peaceful gesture. “We don’t need to discuss it now, I only want Merlin to be alright.”

“Merlin… He’s… Even…”

It’s not very often that Arthur has rendered Gaius speechless and he takes some comfort in it at least. “I have known what Merlin is for quite some time now. And I want to keep him safe.”
Safe from his father and Camelot’s laws, but that he doesn’t say.

After a long pause Gaius sighed. Arthur knew they would need discuss Merlin's magical secret at length later. “I believe they did take him prisoner for his magic. I think they wanted to use Merlin’s magic like a tool.”

Gaius carefully took Merlin’s hand, turning it and moving up the hem of Merlin’s shirt. Arthur’s breathing caught in his throat. A symbol is carved into Merlin’s skin – it looks inflamed, dried blood sticking to the broken skin.

“Why?” Of all the questions that run through his mind that one is the first he was able to voice.

“Why? Probably because they realized just how powerful Merlin was!" When Gaius realized what he'd just said he hesitated, but Arthur waved his hand conveying that he already knew or at least suspected just how powerful his manservant had been.

"If Merlin had been able to use his magic against them, they would never have stood a chance. So they tried to reverse the odds.”

“They didn’t use any magic during the fight… Leon would have mentioned it if they had.” Arthur protested. And neither did Merlin, for that matter… Merlin who had been lying unconscious like a ragged doll.

“No. I believe they weren’t successful. I believe Merlin… hid his magic from them.”

Arthur swallowed back a cutting remark about Merlin and hiding his magic when it started to dawn on him what Gaius was really getting at.

“He locked his magic away, probably even from himself.” Gaius said pensively.

Arthur frowned, clenching his fists. Suddenly Merlin looked so vulnerable, so young. It felt wrong. Merlin without magic was wrong. It had taken him time to come to terms with it, but he had a long time ago now. Merlin had magic. It wasn’t something that anyone had the right to take away. Arthur had observed Merlin in silence – magic was part of him, part of the man he’d grown to love.

“Will he get it back?”

Gaius paused for a long time again. “I believe he will. He just needs rest, as I said.”

“Good,” was all Arthur said.

Merlin did rest, sleeping through the remainder of the night. When noon came the next day, Arthur volunteered to watch over Merlin for the rest of the day, as Gaius needed to tend to his other patients. He replaced the bandage on Merlin’s wrist, fighting the urge to run down to the dungeons and kill the scum that did it to him in the first place. He coaxed some water into his small-looking patient but afterwards he could do nothing but wait.

And stare at the still face before him. He wanted those closed eyes to open – bright blue or molten yellow, he didn’t know which he desired to see first.

It was a bit of a disappointment when Merlin did open his eyes after several minutes of uneasy breathing, they were a watery, blue-grey. Slowly they focussed on Arthur, widening slightly as he took in his surroundings.

"How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," Merlin tried smiling but it came across very off.

"Gaius said you need rest. A lot of it."

Merlin nodded, he was looking through Arthur rather than at him. After several moments of fidgeting, Merlin discovered the bandaged wrist.

"It will heal." Arthur said.

"What happened?" Merlin asked after another long pause, "I don't remember much."

"You were unconscious when we found you. You didn't wake for days."

"No, I mean, the... the people that did this to me."

Arthur knew Merlin almost said 'sorcerers' but felt he should hide even that.

"They're safely locked away in the dungeons. They will either be hanged for harming you or... for sorcery."

Merlin looked up sharply, eyes alert but tired.

"Rest, Merlin," Arthur commanded, no longer wanting to look at this unnaturally wistful version of his friend.

When Merlin woke again, Gaius was there. Arthur heard them talk in hushed voices. He knew he shouldn't envy them this private conversation - undoubtedly on the subject of Merlin's magic - but he desperately wished Merlin would trust him with this, so he could be part of it as well.

When Gaius returned Merlin in Arthur's care, his servant was only slightly less morose.

"Don't you have a kingdom to run?" Merlin asked when Arthur sat down next to him.

"I have no urgent business to attend to," Arthur said, though strictly speaking that wasn't true.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty useless company right now."

"You're not useless," Arthur protested, despite calling Merlin a useless idiot multiple times any other day. "At least no more than usual," he added.

"You have no idea," Merlin muttered solemnly.

"Stop it," Arthur started, having had enough of Merlin's uncharacteristic lack of spirit. He checked to see if the door to Gaius' quarters were firmly shut before he said: "You will get your magic back, I know you will. You just need to be patient."

Merlin's mouth fell open, his expression a look of pure terror.

Arthur fought the urge to roll his eyes. "It's alright. I know about your magic. Have for a while now. We can discuss it in detail later, after you've recovered."

Merlin remained stunned for several more moments. "You've known? Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Oh, because I was the one keeping secrets?" Arthur retorted, raising his voice. He took a calming breath; "we are not getting into this now. First you heal and get your magic back."

"My magic was supposed to help you become the greatest king there ever was... I failed keeping it secret and now I'm failing you altogether. I've locked it away and thrown away the key."

Arthur leaned forward, taking Merlin's face into his hand, looking deep into those blue, stormy eyes. "You didn't fail me. Your magic is still inside of you. You will be able to reach it again."

Merlin swallowed but nodded. "How can you have such faith in me? In something that you despise?" he said after Arthur had let him go.

"You are magic, Merlin. And I could never despise you." Not when I'm so clearly in love with you.

xxx

As days passed, Merlin did begin to regain his strength. Life returned to him bit by bit, though those who knew him well were saying it seemed as if a bit of him had stayed behind at the kidnapping. Arthur knew which bit.

Merlin took up his duties as manservant again; but it pained Arthur to see him like this. Cautious, as if he hadn’t quite allowed himself to believe that Arthur had accepted his magic. Depressed because he still hadn’t found a way to regain that magic.

Arthur missed their easy banter, Merlin’s carefree touches that Arthur had always taken for granted though he never would have allowed himself to do something about them. Merlin looked tired and withdrawn. He had watched the execution of his captors with a strange detachment and now he seemed weary.

Arthur deserted his letter in order to watch Merlin intently as he moved around the room, robotically picking up stray pieces of clothing. When he noticed Merlin was practically swaying on his feet from exhaustion he got up determined to put a stop to this.

“Merlin. Stop that.”

Merlin looked up perturbed. “I’m sorry, my lord.”

“You clearly need more rest. What are you doing looking like death warmed over, trying to clean my rooms? You’re barely competent at the best of times, but this won’t do.”

Merlin looked confused, “I’m sorry?” he echoed his earlier response.

“Get some rest now. Get into my bed.”

Arthur ignored the little wave of heat travelling op his spine at the realization that he was commanding Merlin to get in his bed. Merlin was looking so tired and confused but that he did as he was told without protesting. Taking off his boots and neckerchief he awkwardly climbed onto Arthur’s bed.

It was odd, Merlin following his command so docilely. It filled Arthur with that burning desire to protect his servant, prevent whatever horrors Merlin had suffered from happening in the first place.

His thoughts soon drifted elsewhere when he took in Merlin's body spread out on his sheets. He was happy that nobody was there to see his flushed face. He returned his attention on the papers in front of him, trying not to be distracted by the boy on his bed, with his pale neck exposed and bare feet peaking out from under the covers. Soon Merlin’s breathing evened out and Arthur relaxed as well, soaking up the heat of the fire and trying to muster some kind of interest in the correspondence at hand.

After a while, the drowsy heat and silence became comfortable. Very comfortable. His spine tingled pleasantly and Arthur wondered when he had started touching himself when he realized with some shock that he wasn't. His hands were both still above the table. Yet his cock felt like it was engulfed in a pleasant, familiar heat. It was moving even, like his hand would have, and Arthur knew he was hard. Before he jumped up in fear and declared himself insane, Arthur noticed Merlin from the corner of his eyes. Merlin was still lying on the bed, his eyes closed, but his eyelids were trembling. Arthur knew for a fact what colour those eyes were underneath. This was magic, Merlin's magic. Damn if that didn't make him even more aroused.

Unconsciously he'd sat back in his chair, spreading his legs. His hands trembling as he started to work the laces of his trousers. He couldn't see anything other than his straining cock when the fabric was loosened. But the phantom touch grew more intense, as if the barrier of clothing being removed increased its confidence.

Arthur was already starting to be taken over by pleasure. His body strained, fucking into the invisible hand. "Merlin..." he muttered.

In response a second touch started. It ghosted over his tailbone, dipping lower between his arse cheeks. Arthur jerked in shock. Soon the pressure, the stroking became pleasurable, the double stimulation of his cock and arse already getting close to too much. When an invisible string of magic entered his body, Arthur cried out. He quickly covered his mouth with his hand, muffling the sounds; this wouldn't be a good time for one of the guards to be raising the alarm.

The pulsing heat inside of him made him almost delirious with pleasure when he noticed Merlin was speaking in a hushed tone, whispering words in that language that Arthur didn't understand, the language Merlin used to address the dragon.

The fire in his room was uncommonly high, but Arthur didn't spare a thought to worry about something catching fire. His rooms were in strange disarray - items that Merlin had previously picked up and stored away were now scattered on the floor. Merlin's magic was raining havoc on the place, Arthur thought. Instead of being concerned, it only worked as stimulation - Merlin's magic was all around him, inside him even. He would have come if it hadn't been for the pressure on the base of his cock. Instead it took several long moments of delicious torture before his orgasm was allowed to crash down on him. He nearly sighed with relief.

As his heartbeat slowly returned to normal, Arthur's senses were able to focus again. He looked down on himself and was glad nobody was there to witness how utterly undone he was, breeches at his ankles, come staining them and the table in front of him. He felt a little cold and bereft without Merlin's magic hot on his skin. The man in question was no longer in the throes of a magical attack; he appeared to be sleeping, albeit fitful, on Arthur's bed. The fire had dimmed down to a soft blaze.

Arthur got up slowly, getting decent again and picking up some of the scattered and broken objects that Merlin's magic appeared to have randomly cast around the room. The dull ache with every step he took was a pleasant reminder that, though it seemed incredible now, it had really had happened.

A movement from the bed caught Arthur's attention; Merlin was sitting upright, "Arthur! What's happened?" It was good to hear Merlin's familiar voice, even if it sounded panicked.

Arthur was at his side in a heartbeat. Then he stopped, unsure to proceed after so many boundaries had been crossed.

"You magic..." Arthur started, unsure if he could ever explain.

Merlin nodded, "I don't think I’m able to control it... Did I hurt you?"
Merlin sounded positively scared that he might have accidentally harmed Arthur. He reached out to cover Merlin's face; it was hot, it was impossible that Merlin wasn't running a fever.

"I'm alright, Merlin. You didn't hurt me. Quite the contrary."

Merlin's eyes widened as realization seemed to dawn on him. He buried his face in his hands, "Gods... I'm so sorry, Arthur..."

Arthur pried Merlin's hands away, ignoring Merlin's continuing flustered apologies

"Stop that. I don't know how much you remember, but I wasn't exactly fighting it."

Merlin reluctantly met Arthur's eyes.

"I mean... It was definitely a surprise," he let out a nervous laugh, "But... it was good..."

This was a far cry from his usual eloquence and Merlin looked at him unconvinced.

"I don't understand.”

"I guess your magic is... happy to be back." Arthur tried, only now noticing the undeniable tented sheets between Merlin's legs. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to stroke it, through the bed sheets. Merlin moaned loudly in response.

"Am I making it better or worse?" Arthur asked before he continued his actions.

"Better. Please, please" Merlin begged, as Arthur tentatively gave Merlin's straining flesh another stroke, "I want you. I've always wanted you," Merlin whispered.

Whether or not Merlin's confession was due to feverish delirium, it still left Arthur breathless. He stripped away the sheet and pulled down Merlin’s breeches.

“Please, Arthur,” Merlin pleaded again, his eyes now alternately blue and amber.

Arthur took the hot flesh of Merlin’s beautifully long cock in hand, stroking it encouraged by Merlin’s sounds of pleasure. It didn’t take long before there was a desperate edge to those moans and sighs.

“Arthur…” Merlin’s eyes glowing gold was the only warning Arthur got when he felt an invisible force pull him closer, until his body was aligned with Merlin’s. Distracted, Arthur had lost his rhythm jerking off Merlin until Merlin bucked into his touch, whining. Arthur resumed his ministrations, but when he tried to get a better angle, he found he couldn’t. His cock twitched at the realization that Merlin had him fully restrained. Next Merlin’s mouth was on his, chaffed lips rubbing against his and tongue darting inside. Arthur opened his mouth willingly, making the kiss deep and dirty quickly.

They remained like that, writhing and kissing together until Merlin whispered “Arthur…” and came in Arthur’s hands. Arthur felt the magical bonds release their hold on him but he only reluctantly let go of Merlin, who was still warm and pliant in his arms.

Looking back at Merlin, Arthur thought he was asleep again, but on closer inspection, he saw that there was still magic coursing through the man’s body. Merlin muttered a few words under his breath and a ball of bright blue light appeared in his left hand.

The orb was just as perfect as it had been when it had appeared in his darkest hour of need. The shock of its familiarity shook Arthur to the core. He should have realized it had been Merlin back then. Since Merlin had gotten into his life there had been no such thing as coincidence, least of all where magic was concerned.

Arthur took Merlin's other hand. It was sweaty and trembling and Arthur stroked it until the tremors dissipated; until the ball of light disappeared and golden butterflies leaped into the air. Finally even those evaporated and Merlin slowly opened his eyes. They were a watery blue and sleepy. Arthur smiled.

"I knew you'd get your magic back." Arthur whispered.

Merlin nodded, too exhausted to speak, eyes falling shut again. This time Merlin’s breathing quickly evened out as he fell asleep.

Arthur let him sleep. He closed the curtains to his four-poster bed and went out with a last look on his sleeping sorcerer. He barred the door and ordered a guard to refuse entry to anyone who asked. He wasn't sure Merlin's magic had fully stabilized yet. But the prince's locked chambers should be the safest place for him to be.

He was still edgy and distracted all through his obligation dinner with his father and some officials, more than a little relieved when he could finally be excused and rush back to his chambers, dismissing the guard and carefully locking the door from the inside.

When he pulled back the curtains of the four-poster bed, he was pulled on top of it with such a force that it left him momentarily winded.

"Arthur, Arthur, Arthur," Merlin chanted in between greedy kisses, hands already tugging away Arthur's clothes in a very un-manservant like way.

"How are you feeling?" Arthur asked, worried that Merlin's high temperature meant his magic was still overpowering him.

"I'm fine. My magic's fine. Now will you please fuck me?"

With a quick glance Arthur confirmed that Merlin was telling the truth. He smiled and happily complied. In the process, he discovered there were quite a few advantages to having a magical lover. When Arthur touched Merlin's hole, he found it ready for him; slick and stretched. He moaned and Merlin seemed to purr in agreement. Thinking of how the magic had entered him earlier that day he grew instantly very, very aroused.

Neither of them lasted long once Arthur was fully inside of Merlin. They collapsed into a boneless heap after. Happy for the cover of night, Arthur kept Merlin close until morning.

xxx

The next morning Arthur awoke first. He decided to do something he hadn’t in years; sneak into the kitchens and steal food for him and Merlin to eat. When he arrived in his chambers, Merlin was still in bed, bleary eyes. “You let me sleep in!” he protested.

“Why, you’re welcome, Merlin. Some people are noble like that.”

The sight of food quickly made Merlin forget about shirking his duties by sleeping late. As they ate together, Arthur found out that Merlin really seemed to have his magic fully under control again.

"My magic's back. I won’t fail my destiny after all and you will become the greatest king there ever was,” he said happily.

"All that life-changing sex and that Is what you take away from last night? I'm crushed!" Arthur said, lightening the mood again.

Merlin grinned. "Did I hurt your poor little ego?"

Arthur rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, my mistake, there's nothing little about it." Merlin corrected.

"Exactly," Arthur grinned, "It's very big."

Merlin laughed at the double entendre and smacked his prince on the head. "Prat."

"I'm glad your magic is back." Arthur said, returning to serious.

Merlin looked away for a second, gathering his thoughts. "All thanks to you, you know. I tried to reach out for my magic, but never succeeded. Last night my magic reached out to you."

Merlin met Arthur's gaze and held it. He thought he could feel the weight of their mutual destiny on his shoulders. But then Merlin’s expression broke into a goofy smile. “Hurry off, you princely ass, fulfil your duties so you can be back here soon for round three.”

xxx

From the knowing grin on Leon’s face when he arrived at Knight’s practice, Arthur could tell he hadn’t stopped blushing.

“Am I presumptuous in assuming you followed my advice and reached out to someone you trust in order to get some distraction?” Leon asked.

Arthur laughed softly. “Not exactly. I think it was the other way around. But I was definitely distracted.”

Leon’s knowing smile didn’t cause him to worry. He trusted his First Knight with his life and Merlin’s. At that moment, he didn’t have a care in the world.

Notes:

Merry Christmas, rocknvaughn! I really loved writing this story, I hope you enjoyed it!

Thank you L. for proofreading!

Thank you Mods for your amazing work organizing this fest!!