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Shapes. Everything, everyone was shapes. Circles, rectangles, squares. It was dizzying, it made her head pound and ache and it felt as if she was about to explode.
The world was warped. It didn't feel… real. It felt fake, as if she had her hand on a controller and she was about to fall asleep so she didn't move in the game.
But this wasn't a game.
Echoes, faint voices rung in the back of her mind. She didn't hear them. Her mind was already to far gone.
Are you okay?
Her breathing was picking up. She could hear it in the silence of her bedroom. It was loud (so loud) and all she wanted was for it to stop. It wouldn't.
A voice in the back of her head told her that she should get up now, go find someone and that everything would fine. She didn't listen to it; it sounded too much like her own voice for her to ever want to believe what it said.
The shapes around her blurred together for a moment, becoming one and then splitting again.
A hand was shaking her, a voice was calling her and suddenly all was silent. It was as if nothing has happened but she knew that wasn't true.
No matter how many problems she had, she wasn't an idiot.
Her mind cleared and she looked up from where she was sitting on the floor. She realised her arms were wrapped around her legs and she could feel the pain in her arms.
She must have clawed them up in her episode.
The sound of footsteps alerted her to another presence and she looked into the eyes of her best friend– someone who had been there since the beginning, since she had told her small group of friends there was something wrong with her.
In her friends hands she held a small bottle. The pills rattled the container as she was given the bottle.
She looked up, and she smiled.
Mae was quiet as she spoke.
"Thank you, Bea." She said—
And then she downed the anxiety pills.