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“Well, well. Now isn't this interesting.”
Gold's voice pulls Regina from her thoughts and she looks up to find him smirking down at the box he’s been examining. Despite his eyes never leaving the object, experience tells her that he’s probably not referring to the box at all.
Regina sighs heavily, refusing to take the bait. After five days in the jungle with the Charmings she’s even less in the mood than usual for the type of conversation that usually follows his cryptic non-sequiturs.
To her annoyance, though not to her surprise, he is undeterred by her lack of response.
“I do believe it’s been nearly twenty minutes since I’ve gotten a serving of the sass you’re so fond of dishing out. Why, if I didn’t know any better, I’d begin to think I’d struck a nerve.”
He still doesn’t look up from the box, and she can tell even from across the fire that there's a glint in his eye. This is is his favorite game, Regina thinks. Getting under her skin, turning her thoughts to last thing she wants to be thinking about while her son is out there in danger.
He’s not wrong, of course; he rarely is, much to her perpetual annoyance. Despite her best efforts to focus her brainpower solely on saving her son, his words have remained in the forefront of her mind since the moment he uttered them.
Still, Regina refuses to let on that he’s gotten to her.
“Please,” she rolls her eyes, inspecting her fingernails as though this were the most boring conversation in the history of the universe. “I’ve merely been trying to determine which method of eviscerating Pan will bring me the most satisfaction.”
“Oh, that won’t be necessary, dearie,” Gold replies with another smirk. He stands, tossing her the box. “We’re using this, remember?”
Regina turns it over in her hands, tracing her fingertips over the detailed grooves and intricate patterns. Someone sure went to a lot of trouble to make a pretty exterior for something that contains pure evil.
“It must be difficult, I’d wager," Gold says after a minute, and Regina sighs. She should’ve known this conversation wasn’t over. “Seeing even someone like me find their happy ending. I suspect it’s terribly unsettling, not knowing what your future holds.”
Not sparing him so much as a glance, Regina scratches lightly at the blue powder that's flaking off one of the corners of the box.
Of course she wants the comfort of knowing what her future entails. She spends every minute of every day yearning to undo all of the horrible things she’s done, wanting desperately for people to see her for who she is now and not for who she was then.
She wishes she knew whether she even had a chance at a happy ending.
Her prolonged exposure to the Charmings must have worn her down mentally, or maybe the exhaustion from worrying about Henry has her off her game, but she realizes what she's done about a half second too late.
A jolt of electricity shoots from the box and straight up her arm, immediately spreading like fire to the rest of her body, and suddenly the ground is spinning under her feet and everything goes dark.
+
The first thing Regina notices upon waking is the dull, throbbing pain at the base of her skull.
The second thing she notices is that the ground still seems to be moving beneath her, despite the fact that she’s laying down.
What the hell just happened? The last thing she remembers is looking at that stupid box. Why is her head throbbing? Were they attacked by lost boys?
She opens one eye slowly and immediately regrets it; the sun is blinding and only serves to make her headache intensify.
“Emma, honey, I know things are complicated right now, but at least you were successful in capturing Pan’s shadow. That’s the most important thing.”
Regina winces.
Almost as bad as lost boys. Even in a hushed whisper, she’d know that self-righteous tone of voice anywhere. Which begs the question…. how long had she been unconscious if the do-gooding idiots had already managed to catch up to her and Gold?
“I’m sorry, things are complicated?” Emma’s voice isn’t nearly as quiet. “I almost died because he and Neal were trying so hard to impress me with their mad skills. Which, by the way, primarily consisted of not knowing how to use a freaking lighter. If it weren’t for my magic lessons, I’d be picking out Ikea furniture for my little corner of the Dark Hollow right about now.”
Regina really wishes her head weren’t already spinning; this was a lot of information to process at once even on a good day. Neal was alive after all… they went somewhere called Dark Hollow... they captured Pan’s shadow?....
… and Emma used magic. Regina can’t help the smile that forms on her lips, or the surge of pride that accompanies it.
“I’m proud of you, Emma. Really, I am,” Snow is saying. “But please understand, I’m also worried about you learning magic from her. And rightfully so. I witnessed firsthand what magic did to her. The last thing I want is for you to find your anger and go down that same dark path.”
Regina moves to sit up, feeling the sudden urge to contribute to this particular conversation, but even the smallest of movements has her swaying again and she focuses instead on trying not to throw up.
“Look, I get that you’re concerned,” Emma replies, not bothering to hide her annoyance any longer. “But so far, magic is literally the only thing that’s been helping us. And like it or not, that’s because of Regina. We have to find her before we even think about going after Pan and getting Henry.”
Regina inhales sharply at hearing Emma say those words, mostly because, well. She’d figured Emma taking her side in that lost boy situation was a one time thing, especially given that the very next day Emma had chosen to search for Neal instead of staying loyal to Operation Cobra Rescue.
But Emma’s standing up for her now, to her mother nonetheless, and insisting that they find her-
Regina frowns. Find her? Was she not laying two feet away from them at most? She knows intelligence isn’t the dominant trait in the Charming family gene pool but this would be taking it to a whole new level.
Forcing her eyes open, she takes in her surroundings. They’re definitely not at the beach; Gold must’ve had the decency to drag her to… wherever this is. It looks like a treehouse of sorts- Tink’s, she guesses when she spots her former fairy friend leaning against the far wall.
“Emma’s right,” Regina hears a muffled voice say, and looks down to see Neal emerging from the ladder in the floor. “We have to do what’s best for Henry, and if that means going to find Regina… then that’s what we’ll do.”
He grins at Emma, clearly expecting praise for agreeing with her so readily, and Regina has the immediate urge to set him on fire.
More pressing, though, is the fact that they’re talking about her like she’s not here. It’s almost as if she’s-
And flood of memories come rushing back and she remembers.
The box with the blue residue - fairy dust.
The wish she’d made - in her head, yes, but this is Neverland, things are fueled by imagination, maybe the rules are different...
Was she.... did her wish somehow make her invisible? Was she being mocked, the fairy dust showing her that she was literally nothing to anyone?
Panicking, Regina waves a hand in front of her face, relief washing over her when she sees the blur of flesh. She’s not invisible.
But still.... something is off.
Blinking hard to focus her eyes, she looks down at the rest of her body.
What she sees is far, far worse than being invisible.
Leather pants, black coat, and-
Regina holds up her other hand.
Shit.
+
She sits up too quickly and promptly falls out of the hammock, crashing to the floor.
“Look who’s finally awake,” Emma smirks, staring down at Regina as Charming and Snow move to help her to her feet.
She’s in Hook’s body.
She’s in Hook’s body.
How the- ?
Frantically, Regina wracks her brain to try and remember what she’d wished for. How had she worded it, exactly? Something about finding her happy ending.
And that had magically poofed her to Hook’s body?
Her happy ending is becoming a one-handed pirate with Maybelline lashes?
She steadies herself, shoving Snow’s arm off of her and turning to Emma.
“What happened?” she asks, and the words feel foreign on her tongue in a way that went beyond her newly acquired Irish accent. This was really weird.
“You fainted,” Emma informs her, crossing her arms over her chest.
“And hit your head on the ladder,” Charming adds helpfully.
“But don’t worry, you don’t have a concussion.” Snow smiles. “I checked. How are you feeling?”
Oh, so now Snow’s a doctor. Regina opens her mouth to comment on the lax admission standards at the University of Neverland medical school but catches herself in time.
Right. She’s Hook. She needs to dial it back.
“I’m fine,” Regina grunts instead, opting to say as little as possible to minimize her chance of slipping up. She may do a mean sea witch impersonation but she’s not sure she can pull off lecherous pirate without at least practicing first.
The others cannot know about this little incident until she's come up with a way to reverse it. Maybe not even then.
“Good,” Emma says, picking up Hook’s sword from the table and tossing it to her. “Then let’s get this show on the road.”
Regina raises her arm to catch the sword and grimaces when it clangs loudly against her hook and clatters loudly to the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Tink trying to hide her laughter behind her hand; she shoots her an icy glare, which is returned with an eyeroll.
“So, the plan,” Emma says loudly, ignoring them both. “We find Regina, save Henry, and get our asses off this godforsaken island.”
When everyone nods in reluctant agreement, Emma heads down the ladder and one by one the others follow. Charming is the last to go, picking up Hook’s sword and handing it to her.
“You sure you’re okay?” He says, and he couldn’t look more like a concerned puppy if he tried.
“Fine,” Regina repeats, then quickly adds. “Mate.”
That earns him a grin, and Regina makes a mental note to clear her schedule so she can attend their impending nuptials.
As soon as Charming is down the ladder and out of sight, Regina squeezes her eyes shut and exhales slowly, trying to summon her magic and will herself back into her own body.
Nothing happens.
Frowning, she tries conjuring a fireball.
Nothing.
She’s officially magicless.
+
They head in the general direction of the beach, much to Regina’s relief. She needs to find Gold and the box so she can use the fairy dust to wish herself back; failing that, she hopes Gold is kind enough to handle the reversal himself. From what she can remember, the only other way to undo a spell like this is to wait until the wish fulfills its purpose.
She really hates fairy magic.
No, this isn’t Regina’s first mishap involving fairy dust, but it is the first that has left her traipsing through the jungle in an unfamiliar body with unfamiliar… parts, which she is steadfastly refusing to acknowledge exist beyond her need to adjust her gait accordingly.
There’s also the fact that, well-
It’s been over three decades since Regina last wore leather pants.
She’s forgotten how much they chafe.
She does her best to walk with some sense of normalcy despite these unfortunate new circumstances but is glad to be bringing up the rear of the group where no one can see her doing best unintentional Jack Sparrow saunter.
+
Despite her valiant efforts to adjust to her temporary new body, it’s barely a half hour into the journey before she trips over her sword and finds herself face down in the dirt.
She looks up to see the group has stopped. Neal is laughing at her, of course, because apparently despite leaving Neverland years ago he still never managed to grow up.
Regina sends him the same icy stare she gave Tink, but all he does is laugh harder. Hook’s bitchface must be defective.
“You okay?” Emma asks, walking toward her.
Regina nods, sitting back on her heels to catch her breath. “Just tripped.”
She realizes she’s waiting for Emma to help her up like she usually does; she thinks maybe if Emma touches her arm, it will jump start her magic. But Emma stops a few feet away, hands in her pockets, and allows Charming to push past her and help Regina to her feet.
It seems Emma is shirking her saviorly duties as of late.
+
After a brief water break they continue on their way.
Emma ends up at the back of the group, now walking a few paces in front of Regina, and Regina allows herself the small indulgence of taking in the sight of Emma as she walks. Her eyes linger on Emma’s form, observing small details that she wouldn’t otherwise get to see for fear of being caught gazing.
Regina’s chest tightens at the sight of blonde hair brushing against shoulder blades and muscled arms raising to push away low-hanging leaves.
It’s overwhelming, being able to watch Emma so openly.
An uneasy feeling forms in the pit of her stomach, then. What if that was the point of all this? To show Regina that the happy ending she wants is only attainable by being Hook?
Her stomach roils violently at the thought and the urge to get out of Hook’s body becomes unbearable. She needs to fix this now.
Increasing her pace, Regina fakes a stumble into Emma. She grabs her arm under the pretense of not falling and quickly tries her magic again.
Still nothing. Not even a spark.
Emma shoves Regina’s hand off and grabs her by the lapels, getting in her face. For one terrifying - exhilarating - moment she thinks Emma’s going to kiss her- oh but please, no, not while she’s in this body; not with him- but Emma’s eyes lack their usual flash of… something else, and instead there is only anger.
A lot of it.
“Are you drunk?” Emma hisses, eyes wide.
“No, I’m just… still a bit dizzy, is all.” Regina attempts an off-handed smile and watches as some of the irritation fades from Emma’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Emma exhales. “Sorry, I thought you were trying to… you know.”
Regina nods, not really sure how to respond, and Emma arches an eyebrow at her.
“Maybe we should get you a walking stick or something.”
+
She has to tell them.
Or at the very least, she has to tell Emma.
It will explain all of her bizarre behavior, and if Regina is going to steer them to the beach in order to get that fairy dust, she’s going to need a good reason.
But mostly, the last thing she wants is for the group to stumble upon what would appear to be Regina groping her own breasts, the likelihood of which is probably a 9.6 out of 10.
Regina shudders at the thought. He’d better be keeping his hands to himself.
She’s much less worried about him using her magic, given the amount of concentration it would require.
Regina ambles along, staring straight ahead but not really paying attention; she’s too busy trying to determine the best course of action.
They’ll probably set up camp soon. She’ll have to get Emma alone somehow and tell her the truth. Well, most of the truth at least.
Regina is so lost in thought that she doesn’t notice when Emma abruptly stops in her tracks and whirls around to face her.
Regina walks right into her, nearly falling backwards. “What’s wrong, why did y-”
“Walk ahead of me.”
Regina furrows her brow. “Why?”
“Because you’ve been checking out my ass all day,” Emma says, crossing her arms. “More than usual, which I didn’t think was even possible. I’m tired of it.”
She gestures for Regina to keep walking, and Regina’s face feels like it might actually be on fire. She hurries past, avoiding eye contact.
On second thought, maybe Emma didn’t need to know after all.
+
They make camp soon after.
Regina sits slumped against a tree, exhausted from trudging through the jungle with the added weight of Hook’s ridiculous coat. She has to admit she’s grateful for it now, though, because despite the warmth it provides there is still a noticeable chill in the night air.
She glances over at Emma, who’s still wearing her ridiculously impractical tank top. Instinctively, she raises a hand to do the same warming spell she’s been doing on her since the day they got here - she briefly wonders how no one has noticed that while they’re all layered in jackets and sweaters, Emma and her exposed arms remain completely unaffected by the weather - but it doesn’t work, of course.
She could teach Emma to do the spell herself but it might raise questions if Hook suddenly embraced his inner Dumbledore.
Emma is sitting by the firewood they’ve collected, focusing intently, and Regina feels a thrill of anticipation when Emma’s eyes close. Her hand is poised in the air, and she exhales slowly-
And then Neal saunters over, setting the wood aflame with his lighter, and Regina barely resists the urge to perform an emergency tracheotomy on him with her hook.
To her delight, Emma scowls at him and whatever she says makes him shuffle away sadly.
Regina watches as Emma shivers and moves closer to the fire, and suddenly she can’t take it anymore. She walks over to her, pulling off her oversized coat and offering it to her wordlessly.
She already knows what the answer will be.
“I’m fine,” Emma says, even as she shivers again, and Regina rolls her eyes.
Yup. Stubborn idiot.
“Suit yourself,” Regina shrugs, sitting down beside her. Emma looks as though she’s about to protest but Regina doesn’t care; there’s something she’s been dying to know since this morning.
“Forgive me for asking,” she starts, choosing her words carefully. “But I fear I may have hit my head quite a bit harder than I originally thought. Some of my memories of the past few days are… fuzzy, at best.”
“Okay… what is that supposed to mean?”
“The Dark Hollow,” Regina says. “I don’t…. I don’t remember.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Emma says flatly.
“‘Fraid not,” Regina replies with what she hopes is the half grin Hook does when he thinks he’s being extra charming.
Emma sighs. “Fine, I’ll play along. Which part exactly?”
“Pan’s shadow…” Regina begins slowly. “How did we capture it?”
“We?!” Emma exclaims incredulously, then realizes Regina's serious. “Right… you ‘don’t remember’. Well…. you and Neal got into a stupid fight over his lighter and it went flying. And then the shadow came with its… shadowy henchmen, or whatever, and they tried to rip your shadows out. And then I lit the candle and captured the shadow.”
“You used your magic,” Regina clarifies.
“Yes. I already told you,” Emma huffs. “I thought about what Regina taught me and then just….” She mimics the hand gesture she used, flicking her wrist. “Poof.”
Regina’s heart is pounding, and she is suddenly very, very glad that she’s not in her own body. Because the way she is looking at Emma right now has to be an affectionate mix of pride and adoration and about fifty other things she’s feeling at the moment and she couldn’t hide it if she tried.
Because Emma did it. In the face of danger, she remembered what Regina taught her, she focused her energy, and she made magic.
Emma’s arching an eyebrow at her and Regina realizes she hasn’t responded yet; she quickly schools her features into something she hopes resembles a neutral expression and nods.
“Good form,” Regina says, not even sure if that makes sense, but anything has to be better than just sitting there beaming at her.
Emma studies her face, then, her head tilted to the side and her eyebrows furrowed. Regina freezes under the scrutiny and a tiny gasp escapes her; the way Emma's looking at her, Regina is sure that she knows, and oh god- this is going to be bad, why hadn’t she just told her when she’d had the chance-
But then Emma just shakes her head a little and looks back down at the fire. “Anyway,” she says, clearing her throat. “That’s why we need her.”
All Regina can do is nod.
She goes back to her tree after a moment, her thoughts once again returning to Gold’s words.
Jealousy… of having someone.
She doesn’t sleep at all that night.
+
They've only been trekking for an hour the next morning before Emma - who’s leading the way - comes to a halt. She draws her sword and the others follow suit; Regina once again raises her right hand to conjure a fireball, and when nothing appears it must look like she had a spontaneous compulsion to wave at a nearby family of trees.
She raises her sword slowly, hoping noticed her slip-up.
The scent of magic is heavy in the air and Regina is certain that Gold is nearby. For better or for worse, this will all be over soon.
Sure enough, Hook-in-her-body bursts through the treeline with Gold not far behind.
In her peripheral vision she sees Emma lower her sword, visibly relaxing. Regina looks over to catch sight of her exhaling in relief, eyes bright and a slight smile playing on her lips.
She might have missed it, if she’d been in her own body at the time. She probably would have been too distracted by the six people pointing weapons at her face.
But as it stands, she does see it, and she inhales sharply when realization hits her.
She does have someone.
She has someone who cares about what happens to her and has shown it time and time again.
Because there’s being relieved to see the rustling in the trees is not a band of lost boys, and there’s being reassured that your son’s adoptive mother isn’t dead, and then there’s the look that flickered across Emma’s face the second she saw Regina.
And that was something else entirely.
If there’s one thing Regina’s learned from being in Hook’s body for the past day, it’s that she has acutely missed that something else.
It’s completely and utterly terrifying, the mere idea that her feelings could be returned, but she sees it now and wonders how long it’s been there-
That happy ending she wants… the one she won’t let herself even consciously acknowledge, much less hope for-
That very specific happy ending involving mugs of cinnamon cocoa leaving condensation rings on her kitchen table, and clumps of blonde hair in her shower drain, and red leather and denim taking up residency next to pencil skirts and pea coats in her closet-
She has a chance at that happy ending.
She feels a shock, warmer and less violent than the last one, and then everything goes black again.
+
This time when she comes to, the first thing she notices is a soft hand cradling the back of her head.
She opens her eyes slowly to see Emma staring down at her, eyebrows furrowed in concern. Her expression relaxes immediately when she sees Regina’s eyes open, and in that moment Regina is sure that, were she to remove her own heart right now, she would witness glowing red warmth overtaking cold, dark spots.
“Hey,” Emma says eloquently, her hand warm on Regina’s arm even through her coat.
And now that she recognizes the way Emma is looking at her for what it is-
Emma may not know it yet, but Regina does, and she looks up at her with a soft smile.
“Hey.”