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English
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2013-10-13
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Salvation

Summary:

Marco used to touch him a lot; in all manners of contact. Jean wonders if Marco would touch him again, even as a titan.

Notes:

ahh i'm sorry i just felt like writing about titan!marco and i felt like incorporating some element of regret on jean's part
this probably doesn't make sense nor is it terribly plausible but nn i wrote it anyway. apologies for tense confusion and weird writing because i didn't read this through too many times i admit

inspired by tumblr user dogekind!!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Fair enough.

Of course he’d be the one in charge of looking after this particular titan they’ve met while scouring around during a sweep. Who else would they ask? The hype of Marco’s discovery had died a little since Hanji Zoe tried to communicate with him and all Marco did was tilt his head and bare his teeth in a grin so incredibly Marco, it made most of the 104th Training Squad members weep. Jean might have shed tears himself, but he doesn’t like to think about that.

Marco stays in one of the areas outside Wall Maria, for society’s reassurance, but he has to be monitored. That’s where Jean comes in. It pisses him off a little, he wants to fight and assist the Recon Corps, not babysit a titan. But remembering that that particular titan is Marco Bodt, he couldn’t really feel all that angry anymore. Marco is the reason he joined the Recon Corps in the first place.

Right now, Jean is looking up at Marco, studying his face. Marco’s legs are bound to several trees, and his hands are restrained somewhat, his wrists tied, but Marco seems completely at ease. He’s using his fingers to poke at some bush in the ground and apparently it was the resting place of an angry badger that made itself known by spitting and hissing with great ferocity. Marco’s shoulders shake, and a small noise escapes him. Jean figures Marco is laughing, and he couldn’t help feeling that warmth flood his system again.

It’s like having Marco back. Maybe not in speech or not in design, but the titan portrays a lot of Marco traits that it makes it almost enough. Almost.

Marco’s cross-legged on the forest floor, and so is Jean, a little a ways from the titan himself. Jean walks over then, and pats Marco on the knee (as much as he can reach) and Marco turns his big, dark eyes to Jean. He smiles, complete with creases in the corner of his eyes and everything, and Jean feels a harsh pang of longing hit him in the chest.

They were best friends. Marco was closest to him than anyone else, and now he’s back. In the form of a titan. Jean’s grateful but things aren’t exactly the same now, are they?

Jean’s not one for the physical aspect of things, save punching Eren’s face in, but Marco was. Is? Probably was. There used to be a lot of physical contact from Marco, those pats on Jean’s back whenever they finish some intense training routine. Shoulder rubs when Jean whined too much about having an ache in his neck. Those little nudges Marco gave when he wanted to gain Jean’s attention, or point to something, or after laughing really hard from some stupid remark Jean made. It’s what he misses most about Marco.

It’s been so long since he’s been touched and the frustration is enough to make him crazy.

Maybe…just maybe, the Marco right now could be the same? It’s almost suicide, but Jean’s a little too far gone in the contact-deprived department.

“Hey, Marco,” the titan’s dark eyes slide over to Jean again and they widen in curiosity. Marco couldn’t speak, couldn’t soothe him with that familiar voice but Jean would have to make do with what he has, hopefully. He spreads his arms, like an infant demanding to be picked up, “Come on. Let me get on your shoulder.”

Marco makes a little sound, a mixture of confusion and something like amusement. It’s actually really adorable for a titan. A moment of hesitation and Marco lowers his tied hands down, watching Jean carefully. Jean flashes him an appreciative smile and clambers up the too large fingers, settling himself in between carefully.

It would be so easy. Marco could just tip him into a gaping jaw and bite down. He could just press his hands together and Jean’s guts would spill out. He could die right this moment. So much for taking revenge for Marco.

But Marco’s here. And moving closer, in a sense. Soon enough, Jean is about a metre from Marco’s eyes, and they’re all crinkled from a smile. Jean chuckles gently, and folds his arms, “I said shoulder, smartass.”

A rumbling sound comes from Marco and Jean finds himself moved again, closer to said titan’s shoulder. Jean gets out of the hands, and pulls himself up on Marco’s shoulder. Marco turns his head to look at Jean but Jean pushes at Marco’s cheek with a hand. On the fleshy part of course, not the weird muscle covered jaw of his.

Jean sighs and sits down, just absently running his hand along Marco’s chin. Marco’s making a weird, hitching sound, but he’s still smiling. It occurs to Jean that Marco might just be giggling. Jean laughs a little himself, before leaning in and gently wraps his arms around what he could of Marco. A faceful of titan chin, really.

A wave of nostalgia hits Jean for some reason, and it’s a heavy weight on his heart. He wants so badly for Marco to touch him back, anyway at all, and it feels like stealing something from someone dear. It’s pathetic. Marco makes a noise and Jean has to let go for a moment so Marco could turn his head slowly. His eyes are wide, and he looks at Jean in surprise. Jean just smiles and shrugs.

“Missed you, I guess.”

Marco makes a choked noise and his hands move up again, Jean almost stumbling off the shoulder. He pushes his hands up in a gesture, and tilts his head. Obviously wants Jean to get back there. He frowns a bit and thinks twice about it, because he likes Marco’s shoulder. But Jean does want to look at Marco’s face; the angle here doesn’t help much. Makes the nostalgia more painful, but he’s always been a little masochistic. He slowly slides onto the fingers and Marco brings him back to the front.

There’s a pressure on Jean’s head and he freezes up right away, all senses on alert. Marco’s fingertip is right on Jean’s skull. He could press down and Jean will turn into pulp. But he doesn’t. What he does do is slide that finger down Jean’s back, along his spine, and then moves back up to do it all over again.

Marco’s stroking his back.

It feels like heaven.

Jean sighs deeply and leans against the finger a little, his eyes closing. It’s very different, it doesn’t feel like what Marco used to do but the way he’s touching Jean, the pattern, the expression on Marco’s face. Exactly the same. It feels like salvation.

He opens his eyes soon enough, and there’s a small curve to his lips. So does Marco, though his smile is a little bit toothy and weird. Jean sits up a little straighter and extends his arms again, gesturing for Marco to bring his face closer. Marco leans closer, and Jean does what he’s always wanted to do even before Trost. To do what had went through his mind quite a number of times but he’s always blamed it on teenage hormones and the lack of female contact. He kisses Marco right on the top lip, where it’s still skin instead of muscle. It’s barely a real kiss, so he does it again. A few times.  He’s got his eyes closed and his mouth puckered and he’s just pouring all he has into the one-sided kiss. He misses Marco so much it’s killing him.

There’s a rumbling purr and Jean looks up. Marco’s looking down at him cross-eyed, his freckles standing out even more since there’s so much blood in his cheeks. Jean leans back a little, hands placed gently on Marco’s lips and looks up at him. He’s probably blushing like mad himself, but he wants to get his point across, “I really missed you.”

A gurgling sound left Marco and he nods, swallowing visibly afterwards. He gently moves his hands so Jean would grab on to a finger and not fall down, before Marco leans and presses his lips gently to Jean’s midriff. Gently being, making Jean fall on his ass and get smothered for three milliseconds till Marco moves away. Marco’s still all red in the face and he’s got this dumb titan smile on him. His eyes are transfixed on Jean, and Jean couldn’t stop himself from leaning against Marco’s hand again.

It feels like he belongs.

“Marco.” he speaks the name quietly enough, just for himself to hear.

Surprisingly, Marco opens his mouth as well and it’s as if he’s blowing air through his teeth, jaw muscles working to form a word. “Jawshh, Jawwn. Jean.” It’s as much as a ‘Jean’ could sound like from a titan.  And then he smiles a smile that’s as bright as the sun, and repeats himself, “Jean.”

Jean feels like flying. The laugh he gives is loud and cheerful, and his arms go wide again. “Come here. Another kiss?”

A rumbling that’s suspiciously like a laugh shakes Marco’s shoulders, and he brings Jean close again, so Jean kisses him right on his big titan lip. He might have not been able to spend time with Marco like this when Marco was his size, and with a voice, but it had to count for something.

This is his second chance and he’s not going to fuck it up.

Notes:

im licoricetongues on twitter