surprisinglyMarkten



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    harris makes ilya record a lunch unboxing video for the centaurs' social media, and the internet loses its mind over the fact that shane packs his lunch for him

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    08 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Yuna: [harrumphing] Well, then, why am I getting phone calls from Rolex and Reebox about tweets under the ‘hashtag hockey boy quitter’ tag because you don’t know how to treat a woman in the bedroom-

    David: [awkwardly] I thought I taught you better than this, son. A woman’s pleasure is just as important as yours, I told you this at sixteen we first had the birds and the bees conversation-

    Shane: [choking] Oh my God, please stop! Will you guys just listen for one second?

    Yuna: I don’t want to hear any excuses-

    David: Don’t raise your voice at me, young man-

    Shane: [he lets out a frustrated yell] JUST LISTEN-

    Yuna: [sounding shocked] Shane!

    Shane: [shouting] I’M GAY!

    (shane goes viral for rude texts to ‘lily’. women from his past come forward with stories of their own. cue the internet on a witchhunt, an embarrassing coming out, and shane having the worst day of his life)

    Series
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    08 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    SHANE: Lily.
    LILY: Hello
    SHANE: Dead to me.
    What the actual fuck?
    LILY: ??
    SHANE: what. The. Hell. Did. You. Do.
    LILY: ahh
    I am in trouble
    Yes?

     
    Or Ilya's teammates add "Jane" to the Boston WAG group chat in the height of their "no, we aren't falling in love, whatever do you mean" era (2014-2016-ish?).

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    18 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    undone 22

    boston wags, chat fic, gender known

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    07 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “It won’t work,” Tobirama replies, too quick, too soon, before having all his thoughts processed. Hashirama waits for him to explain himself. “It won’t unless it’s someone high profile among us. Otherwise there’s no guarantee either way.”

    Hashirama nods, and now that Tobirama pays attention, his brother looks ashamed.

    “Oh, you meant to offer me,” Tobirama concludes, “me or Touka. But I doubt Touka would do well inside an arrangement like this, so it falls to me.”

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
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    23 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    undone 12

    abo, ceasefire hostage, pre izuna x tobi, secret maybe omega tobirama, no hashirama bashing. yet