rtaylor5221
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He realizes it right before everything goes to shit. He’s just standing there in the loft and Eddie’s handing him Christopher’s backpack and talking about “he’s not that fast” and “order pizza” and Buck sort of stares at him—partly in shock, partly in reverence—and he thinks "I love you." He shoves it down immediately, of course, as far down as it’ll go, but the fact of the matter is, it’s there somewhere, floating around inside of him. He can’t get rid of it now.
Not that it matters all that much, though, because there’s the whole quitting thing and the lawsuit thing and the argument in the grocery store and by the time he’s given his (re)start date he knows; he well and truly fucked up.
or: another classic post-lawsuit fic. Angst, hurt, some comfort, more angst, more comfort.- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by rtaylor5221
28 Apr 2026
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Buck suffers a concussion at work, and stays with Eddie to recuperate. The intimacy of Eddie’s care brings to a head the feelings Buck has been trying to hide since Eddie came out as gay.
When Buck’s recovery suffers a worrying setback, he finds out that maybe he isn’t the only one keeping important feelings to himself.
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“It’s Ok, Buck. I got you. You’re Ok.”
Eddie.
“I dimmed the light. You can try again if you want. But only if you want, and only when you’re ready.”
Buck took a long moment to make sense of that. Then, once he’d worked out Eddie had somehow made it less bright, he cautiously opened his eyes again.
Better. It was better.
This time, things were a little more in focus. He saw Eddie. Eddie’s beautiful face. Wait, he wasn’t allowed to think Eddie was beautiful. Or was he? No. He could think it. Not say it.
That was important.
Bookmarked by rtaylor5221
15 Feb 2026
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Eddie's past comes for him with consequences. He and Buck are taken, dragged back into a violence Eddie thought he’d buried.
Buck is broken piece by piece, and Eddie is left, forced to listen to the sounds of the second most important person in his world being torn apart, unable to scream, unable to save him.
They live.
But survival is not mercy.Series
- Part 1 of Hold my Hand, Keep me
Bookmarked by rtaylor5221
11 Jan 2026
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“I’ll do whatever you want, just, please.” Buck sobs out the last word, eyes burning with unshed tears.
“A vow.” The man leans uncomfortably close to Buck. The knife brushes against his neck, lightly scratching across the top layer of Buck’s skin. The man’s cold blue eyes hold Buck’s full attention. “That’s what I require. Sell me your allegiance.”
Buck stares back at the killer, unable to fully process what is being asked of him. He sees a flash of anger dance in the stranger’s gaze. He's impatient. Unpredictable. Fear pours into Buck's chest as he realizes he might not get a second chance at this. He has to make this count. “I vow to give you complete control over the remainder of my life. My body is yours to destroy—so long as you let my sister live and return safely to her family.”
__
Or, After Eddie leaves for Texas, Buck goes to seek comfort from his sister and walks in on her kidnapping. In order to save Maddie's life, Buck offers up his instead. Unintentionally agreeing to something worse than death.
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Bookmarked by rtaylor5221
27 Nov 2025
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Buck had lost-- he was sure of this now. His resolve only lasted a few weeks before his exterior began to crack; he was never a very good actor. He couldn’t keep up the greetings and the asking questions and the easy stroll. He let his shoulders creep up to his ears, let his foot tap incessantly. He did what his Captain told him, but stopped asking for anything more. Stopped following the conversation in the back of the engine on the way to the call; he just stared out the window, thinking about the case to come, preparing for it. When he woke every morning, there was no big recovery milestone to strive for, no big fight for the soul of his career to win. Not even the happy swell of being back on shift -- something so easy to dismiss, that had dominated so much of his life, that he had taken for granted-- that had catalyzed him each morning of his first week back.
An old habit of his had returned. A bad habit.~~
or: after the lawsuit, buck confronts what it was he wanted all along. he looks and looks and longs for it; the team looks right through him. buck breaks-- right down the middle.
Series
- Part 1 of Lighthouse Universe
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- English
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- 35/35
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Bookmarked by rtaylor5221
18 Nov 2025