kphew
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Summary
Emma hooks up with a devastatingly hot stranger in a nightclub bathroom after
convincing himjust straight up asking him to take a tequila body shot off her and he folds like a lawn chair.Featuring:
- Copious amounts of body glitter
- Zuko holding on for dear life while his life and sanity get upended by a woman with strawberry lip gloss and absolutely no shame
- Adult men texting like your grandpa
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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Summary
She grabbed his wrist and pulled the spoon into her mouth slowly, holding his gaze as she did. The silver touched her tongue, her lashes dropped shut and she gave a soft, mewling sound of approval.
"Fuck."
Or: Draco Malfoy had planned everything: the right restaurant, the right flowers, the right outfit. Hermione Granger, as it turned out, had plans of her own. A first date, a very good dinner and an Aston Martin that nearly didn't survive the drive home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,133
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
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- 83
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- 706
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Bookmarked by kphew
01 May 2026
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“I used to close my eyes sometimes, and imagine it was you.”
Katara comes to the Fire Nation as the South’s Ambassador, but she shows up alone.
Zuko, Iroh, and a pond full of turtle-ducks take it from there.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,557
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 128
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- 1,235
- Bookmarks:
- 296
- Hits:
- 16,415
Bookmarked by kphew
23 Apr 2026
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The Sonic Boom Heard Round the World by FormerlyIR (Irony_Rocks), Irony_Rocks
Fandoms: Superman (Movie 2025), Superman - All Media Types
10 Aug 2025
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Summary
She isn’t blind. She knows Clark has a crush on her. Everyone at the Planet knows that.
But the problem is, the feelings aren’t entirely one-sided. She can’t afford to be distracted, god knows that. Relationships are messy and she’s never been any good at it. Still, the way Clark Kent is staring at her, all too serious, filled with too much wounding devotion, she fears what he’s going to say because she’s always thought he’s perpetually one step shy of declaring his feelings for her — and she doesn’t entirely know what her response will be. Lois usually has her answers for everything.
He steps forward. “I need to tell you something, Lois. Something I should have told you a long time ago.”
And then, moving slowly, deliberately, he takes off his glasses — and just like that, Lois Lane’s entire world tilts off its axis.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,500
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 301
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- 1,788
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- 451
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Bookmarked by kphew
09 Apr 2026
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Calanmai in Darkness by msfeyredarling
Fandoms: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
13 Jul 2022
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Summary
Feyre’s first Calanmai as High Lady of the Night Court
Bookmarked by kphew
20 Mar 2026