I was just a little boy
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Summary
When asked, Sam says that his Intro Psych class at Stanford was where his interest in mental illness came from. Self care, meditation, therapy. All of it was brought up in the class, sure, but Sam had brushed up on it long before he needed the information for a grade.
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In the safety of the Bunker, Dean is able to process the trauma from his past. Sam learns that he and Dean had very different childhoods.
Series
- Part 1 of I was just a little boy
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Sam hasn't noticed anything off about Dean and Cas struggles not to tell him. This is a task more difficult than awaiting the seventh day above of Jericho, but the angel knows that protecting Dean means protecting the part of Dean that is still alive inside of Sam. A part that Dean rarely allows to mutate into a mirror image. Cas has yet to convince Dean that Sam's vision of him matching reality does not mean he has failed as a parent.
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As his relationship with Cas grows, Dean learns to redefine his relationship with sex.
Series
- Part 2 of I was just a little boy
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Briefly, Dean wants to scream because he knows the difference between a moat and a levy, he knows why he wants the rice, and he knows that Sammy will never understand because that’s why he did everything he did, dammit, so that Sammy wouldn’t want to hoard rice. But it’s easier, safer to let Sammy think that there’s nothing serious or weak about him. He's worked too long and too hard at molding this rendition of himself to give it up now. To reabsorb the girlish tendencies he’s been purging out of the shell he occupies.
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Hunger is one of the first parenting skills Dean learns for Sam. For Jack, he learns nourishment.
Series
- Part 3 of I was just a little boy
