Chapter Text
After that the two avoided each other as much as possible. of course Merlin still had duties, but neither spoke to the other unless completely necessary. which everyone noticed, but they both still refused to comment.
Morgana tried speaking to them. in an attempt to get at least one of the idiots to break the tension, but everything said seemed to go in one ear out the other. she might as well have been talking to two love stricken walls.
Which made sense, given the two barely admitted their feelings to themselves. it was hopeless to assume they’d manage to admit them to each other.
So they carried on.
Well until well they remembered they’re in fucking Camelot. where these two destiny bound morons can’t avoid eachother even remotely. Due to constantly needing to save each other’s asses.
Cue a beast trying to maim Arthur,
And of course the beast was immensely strong,
And of course it was magic,
And Of Course Merlin hadn’t been there.
“You cabbage head. you’re lucky you even managed to escape with your life.” Merlin huffed as he dressed Arthur’s wounds. Meanwhile the prince avoided eye contact. not wanting to look at Merlin knowing he’d start staring.
“You know your bedside manners are awful.” Arthur said, and Merlin rolls his eyes while feeling even worse. This meant it took Arthur’s life being in danger to make them talk like how they did before Morgana’s mess.
“Good, you deserve much worse for going out all alone. Especially with the sightings being reported left and right.” He said, and goes to put the bandages back. Arthur looked at his wounds, he knew that he should’ve taken someone, that Merlin was right. But that only made him more angry.
“I can take care of myself, I'm not you.” The prince growled, and Merlin nearly snapped. not that Arthur noticed, or cared, as he stands up to leave. However the sorcerer doesn’t let him get far.
“Calm down and stay for a second.” Merlin said, and despite all logic Arthur hoped that he’d be the one to crack. that his manservant would finally reject him, and let the prince move on.
“I mean, know you aren’t ashamed of your looks. but walking around without a shirt might have people staring.” He said, obviously. what else should Arthur expect? he thinks as Merlin watches him put on his tunic.
The prince then left with clothes on, and Merlin didn’t feel any better. in fact he may have felt abundantly worse.
Unfortunately this wouldn’t be the last time they did this.
More monsters, and beasts, and curses, kept appearing. With Merlin trying over and over to protect Arthur despite their distance. However the man kept managing to get away, and get into trouble.
Which should be expected obviously, because the prince didn’t realize that Merlin was saving him in the first place.
So in other words things were getting to the point where Merlin knew they needed to address this. whether he wanted to or not. meanwhile Arthur remains stubborn and oblivious like always. never once even considering the idea of talking like adults, because that would mean either expressing his shameful feelings, and starting a dangerous relationship that could result in Merlin’s death. or expressing his shameful feelings only to get his heart broken by his own manservant.
It hurt a lot to think about that. Even if he did land up being with Merlin, because of the crown it would be something he always had to hide. for his reputation, and his servant’s safety. so he just didn’t think about it. in fact he completely ignored it. hoping that the problem would solve itself somehow. After all that’s what his problems usually did.
Merlin started to pull closer, trying to find an opening to talk about things. However Arthur always slipped away. His stubborn attitude is annoying as ever.
Though fortunately or unfortunately the prince’s luck soon ran out.
As soon Merlin heard the news he went running to Arthur’s chambers to be sure the prat was alive.
“Gaius is he—!”
“He’s fine, unconscious, but he’ll certainly live.” The physician said, before the boy could even finish. as he put what looked like a cold cloth on the prince’s head.
Merlin sighed in relief. happy that for once there were no herbs to gather, no deals to make, no trials to do. Arthur for once just needed bedrest.
“So what exactly happened?” The servant asked, sitting by the older man who didn’t stop tending to the prince for a moment as he spoke.
“Some bandits attacked. luckily the knights were there, but regardless the thugs managed to send him tumbling down a cliff, and when Leon retrieved him he had blacked out.” Merlin was practically shaking with anger. bandits, it was just some bandits that he could’ve taken out. that’s what had landed Arthur in this state.
“Merlin calm down you couldn’t have known.” Gaius said, noticing the boy’s state.
Merlin stood, “I shouldn’t have had to know! I should’ve been at his side, protecting him! doing my stupid proficised job! Yet he’s so stubborn he’d rather die than actually talk like a normal person!!!” Merlin said, furious at this entire situation, at Morgana, at Gwen, at himself, but most of all at Arthur.
“Merlin!” Gaius yelled, and Merlin’s attention snapped back to him.
“You can scream and act like a fool all you want, after the prince is recovered. for now you will return to your chambers and let him get some rest. understand?” The physician said sternly.
“But—“ Gaius’ looked silenced the warlock immediately.
“Good now go.” The older man said, leaving no room for argument, and so Merlin leaves grumbling the entire time. as soon as Arthur wakes up he’s going to smack him.
It took a day and a half for Arthur to regain consciousness, and when he did Merlin was sitting beside him. which was both a curse and blessing, mainly because he didn’t have to deal with his father’s fretting, or Gaius’ barrage of questions about how he felt. However instead he had to deal with whatever Merlin had cooked up gods help him.
Merlin noticed his eyes opening slightly and paused with the cloth for a moment. double checking he wasn’t seeing things before he opened his mouth. “Good morning.” He said, and from merely Merlin’s smile Arthur could tell his servant was about to give him hell.
“What are you doing?” He asked, hoping to avoid Merlin’s wrath by ignoring it. Also he was curious, the feeling of the cold of the wet fabric against his sore head wasn’t bad by any means, but it certainly seemed unnecessary.
“Oh me? I’m simply contemplating how utterly stupid you can be! honestly what were you thinking!?” Merlin spat, and Arthur winced resulting in Merlin remembering the prince’s head. which was probably pounding right now without his yelling, and though he didn’t care much. he knew Gaius certainly would.
“What do you mean?! it’s not my fault the bandits attacked!” He growled annoyed, not even understanding why he was in the wrong this time. the knights were with him, and it’s not like Merlin could’ve helped with the bandits.
“And don’t talk to me that way I’m the prince of Camelot.” He continued, and Merlin rolled his eyes before feigning shock.
“Oh you're right my lord. I shouldn’t be blaming you for getting knocked on your arse by a couple of untrained thugs.” He said, and if Arthur had any energy he would’ve smacked his servant upside the head.
“They caught me by surprise is all.” he huffed embarrassed.
“Of course sire, and I’m sure that the king would have reminded everyone of that by writing it on your tombstone.” Merlin said, putting the cloth in the medicated water once more before putting it back on Arthur’s head.
“So is that why you’re here? to freeze and insult me?” He asked through gritted teeth, and Merlin froze for a moment before he let out a very pained sigh.
“No of course not.” He said reluctantly, knowing what he needed to do.
“Then why else?” Arthur huffed, expecting perhaps a request, or for Merlin to hand him food. He hoped for the latter, he was famished.
The servant took a deep breath before continuing. “Since you can’t run, we’re talking now.” Merlin said, and honestly the prince thought a slap in the face would be more pleasant.
Arthur cleared his throat, he would have sat up if he could. “Talk about what exactly?” Merlin glared, he knew that the prince was well aware of what he meant. anyone with a brain could figure it out given the circumstances.
“Arthur I…” Merlin tries but trails off. even after all this thinking he still wasn’t prepared. After all this would change everything no matter the outcome.He could potentially die because of this. Merlin’s only real comfort right now was ironically the words of killgarrah. that Arthur couldn’t hate him, which would be more detrimental to them than any other outcome.
He tried again, “I need to tell you that I….I have feelings for you, and I know nothing can come of them, and I know that you’re probably feeling the urge to hit me over the head right now, but I needed to tell you. If we keep avoiding each other then things will only be worse for everyone...so then let’s get this over with.” Merlin said, waiting patiently for Arthur to process everything.
Arthur meanwhile was just staring dumbfounded at the servant. fully expecting for him to start laughing at any moment, revealing that this had all been some joke, but the moment didn’t come. they just continued to sit in silence.
“Well?” Merlin asked after nearly five minutes of waiting.
“Well what?” Arthur asked confused.
“Where’s the insults, the threats, the attempts to get out of bed so you can throw things?” He questioned, and Arthur blinked at him. still expecting the punchline before he finally dared to ask.
“You’re being serious?”
“Yes Arthur! extremely serious! now would you just get to your rejection al—“ Merlin was cut off by laughter not happy sounding more mad and Merlin was lost for a moment before he then felt lips pressed against his own it was clumsy Arthur knew after all he’d just woken up from a nearly two day rest but he still did it
Merlin shared his feelings. Merlin liked him! all other thoughts went out the door, rules, fear, sense, who gives a damn?! Merlin liked him!
After a moment Merlin pulled away in shock, not knowing what to...well anything really. had that really happened? had Arthur. the Arthur Pendragon. crowned prince of Camelot! just kissed him??? a man a servant! it didn’t make sense, none at all.
“I feel the same.” Arthur said, still full of madness inducing adrenaline. Merlin thought the man must be going crazy, perhaps the side effect of Gaius’ medicine.
“But what about your father or the kingdom you can’t honestly--” he tries, but he’s immediately cut off.
“I already know the problems dimwit.” Arthur huffed and yet still smiled, while Merlin continued looking at him as though he had just performed sorcery.
Merlin had fully expected a rejection, whether Arthur had felt the same or not. for the obvious reasons of laws, safety, honor ,and general embarrassment. This was the opposite Arthur had kissed him and rejected even acknowledging the problems. Which was impulsive, idiotic, and slightly honorable in a way. which was practically every decision the prince made so why was he surprised.
Merlin knew he had to make a choice on whether he’d go along with this or not. but luckily he didn’t need to right now. Mainly because Gaius walked in and the conversation ended.
Merlin doesn’t avoid the prince or anything, mainly because he can’t. but luckily for him, either Gaius or Uther was in the room all the time while he was there. so he didn’t have to give Arthur an answer for nearly three days after that.
However he wasn’t ignoring the issue. Merlin considered all the different scenarios, but all of them felt tragic.
If they were caught Merlin would be banished at a minimum. if they weren’t, they’d need to keep it secret. never telling a soul in fear of it reaching the king. plus there was always the chance of Arthur getting bored with him. Most importantly though even if somehow they avoided all of that, Arthur still needs an heir. which means he’d have to leave him for a woman anyway, or worse the prince would offer for him to be a mistress. which Merlin would never accept for multiple reasons. So it seemed pretty pointless really.
Whether he liked Arthur or not, their relationship was doomed to fail. So why did he still find the idea so appealing anyway? Was it simply because it was Arthur? or was Merlin a masochist? he didn’t know. His choice should be simple, but it’s only gotten harder the more he’s thought about it.
Ultimately he wanted Arthur.
The next time they were in a room alone Merlin spoke up again, much to Arthur’s dismay. After his servant had gone quiet the prince had just assumed he was rejected. Merlin did not want to deal with the problems that came with the mere concept of a relationship. He didn’t need to hear Merlin say it vocally.
“Arthur I wanted to say, I believe that this is stupid, dangerous, and tremendously unfair on my end. I consider you to be a selfish fool for even thinking it could work.” Merlin starts stating a bunch of things Arthur already knew.
“You kissing me was also terrible for your honor. being with a male servant as the crowned prince even in secret is terrible.” He continues, as though he hadn’t already made Arthur feel awful enough.
“There should be no reason for me to even acknowledge this. Do you know how lucky you are?” Merlin stated finally.
Arthur blinked confused, “lucky?”
Merlin walks over leaning down to where Arthur was laying in his bed. “Lucky that I’m a glutton for punishment apparently.” The servant mumbled and kissed him.
When Merlin pulled away Arthur had become very red, nearly matching his tunic. “I never took you for the blushing type.” Merlin said, with a stupid smirk that made Arthur want to smack him.
“Shut up Merlin.”
“Make me~”
Arthur hearing his servant’s tone blushed even more. What was he some kind of girl!? he’d make Merlin pay for causing it. Arthur seized the man in another kiss, annoyed.
“gladly~” He grumbled against the man’s lips before making sure of it by pressing into his mouth. which Merlin seemed very ok with if his own kissing was any indication.
It didn’t take long for Merlin to move into Arthur’s lap. after all it was easier to continue this sudden snogging session they’d started like that. Though they continue in different ways Arthur thinks as he starts to pull at Merlin’s trousers.
“Someone’s impatient.” Merlin pants, but the prince only rolls his eyes, continuing to remove the bottom part of his servants outfit. leaving the top be, mainly to make things easier if someone walks in. also because it’s very hard to remain focused on removing clothes when he could instead torture his servant.
Merlin gasped as Arthur gripped him suddenly. stroking the man’s leaking cock, noting how hard his manservant was from simple kissing. “and you called me impatient?”
“Prat.” Merlin mumbled, barely resisting the urge to cover his face. which he assumed to be scarlet.
“And you like that don’t you?” Arthur teased, smirking, and though Merlin would’ve retorted as not to fuel the prince’s ego. He was interrupted by his own weak sounds as Arthur started moving his hand faster on him.
Arthur wasn’t surprised by how much noise Merlin made from such a small amount of stimulation. After all, the man was quite the loud mouth.
Honestly the prince was more surprised by how the sounds affected him. He never had been wooed by women who were louder, though then again this was Merlin. if his servant could be an exception when it comes to anything he would be.
Merlin starts bucking slightly, wanting friction in multiple ways. Only encouraged as he feels Arthur’s hardness beneath the covers. “desperate?” The prince asked.
“Will admitting it make you continue?” Merlin growled annoyed at the teasing.
“Maybe if you admit it and ask nicely~” Arthur said, and Merlin considered killing him. However then prince grinds against him, making the warlock think twice.
“Fine I am. now would you please put your stupid royal cock to good use?” He huffed and Arthur considered refusing, but knew it wasn’t really an option. only confirmed when Merlin squirms on top of him.
“Adequate I suppose.” He said, barely keeping the confidence in his voice as once the words left his mouth Merlin went to grab the oil that Arthur didn’t even know he had. He then proceeded to remove the blankets and clothes from Arthur’s body. It all happened so quickly it could’ve been mistaken for sorcery.
Merlin got back on Arthur trying to remember what to do. he hadn’t done this part before, he’s had sex before obviously, but prepping he had little experience in. mainly because most times he could just get away with using a little magic, but of course doing that now was extremely risky. so the old fashioned way would have to do.
He oiled his fingers and pressed inside beginning to stretch himself. Merlin wanted to be quick about it despite noticing Arthur’s stare and not wanting it to stop.
It didn’t take long for Merlin to be satisfied, and so he moves on to the fun part. He starts by first oiling Arthur’s dick, seeing the man tense at the contact. before moving above his dick, where he then could push onto it slowly filling himself.
“Gods Merlin~” he breathed, wishing that his injury was healed so he could bed him properly. not to say that he didn’t like this of course, he would’ve just loved even more to wipe off the smug smirk Merlin was wearing.
The servant starts bouncing lightly, making small but high noises that were uncontrollable. he feels the slight pain like usual, though it was easily overpowered by the immense amounts of pleasure.
Arthur after a moment starts thrusting his hips in return. starting to stroke the sorcerer again, listening to the man above him become a mewling mess. the only actual word leaving his lips being the prince’s name.
They quickly finished. which was good because minutes later Uther once again came to the door. Wanting to check on his son yet again, and like that the moment ends.
Arthur soon was completely recovered, able to finally get up and move again. Making him ecstatic, because staying in his room all that time had made him more than a little antsy. not at all helped by Merlin and his activities from days ago having gone unaddressed for all that time.
He kept waiting for it to come up again, but it never did, and as much as he knew it was probably nothing. the prince couldn’t help but worry endlessly about it.
It distracted him. seeing Merlin while still not really knowing how to proceed. Was this a relationship? Was he allowed to do anything? had Merlin changed his mind at some point, and that’s why he wouldn’t talk about it?
It was a lot, and it got to the point where Arthur just kinda snapped.
“So what exactly are we then?” Arthur asked, very out of nowhere he’s sure, as Merlin starts putting on his armor.
The sorcerer paused, “I don’t know. I mean outside of this room we’ll stay the same, so I guess it doesn’t matter.” Merlin said, and despite his nonchalant tone Arthur realized why Merlin hadn’t said anything. Frankly he feels stupid for not noticing sooner.
After all they hadn’t had an actual moment alone in his chambers since that night. with Gaius helping during his recovery, his father visiting, and Arthur refusing to be in his room since he could walk again, Merlin had no time to ask any questions.
Nothing about what had happened could ever have been discussed. at least, not without being in danger of someone overhearing.
It was a very sudden reminder of how much his servant was really risking by doing this. if even one person found out about this it could be Merlin’s head. yet he was risking it anyway, for him. Arthur wanted to make the pain worth it, he decided, in any way he could. honor or no.
“You’re right outside nothing will change, but that doesn’t mean what we are won’t matter. so a title is needed.” Arthur said firmly, clearly not realizing how mushy that sounded. Merlin did notice, but he wouldn’t comment. After all, it was a rare thing for Arthur to be genuine like that.
“Alright.” Merlin smiled, “so then what are we? boyfriends doesn’t exactly sound right.”
“Obviously we’re not children.” Arthur said rolling his eyes at the suggestion.
“So what other titles are there? lovers, soulmates?” He snarked, loving how both managed to make Arthur blush.
“Be serious!”
“Fine what about...partners?”
“But you’re my servant.” Arthur said, which made Merlin roll his eyes. damn the prince and his ego.
“I’m sorry, do you have a better title sire?” Merlin asked flatly, and Arthur went to speak but couldn’t actually think of anything, as Merlin expected.
“Alright, I suppose it could work.” He grumbled, and Merlin smirked, kissing his annoyed partner’s cheek.
“I hope your training goes well.” He said, and Arthur huffs leaving Merlin alone in the room. despite the insolence of his manservant he still felt happy.
Very stupidly happy.