Chapter Text
Dipper woke up slowly the next morning, aware that he was warm and, well, semi-comfortable. The springs of the mattress he was laying on were digging into his side, and the blanket he was under was slightly scratchy against his skin. However, Dipper was also aware that there was a nice, warm body pressed up next to his own, its arms wrapped securely around him. Dipper sleepily nuzzled against it, humming slightly in his semi-awake state. It felt like a nice body, strong and protective, with soft skin. Dipper snuggled a bit closer, feeling safe and comfortable in its embrace.
Dipper was about to fall back asleep when he heard soft giggling. He hissed slightly as a bright flash crept in at the edges of his vision. Feeling slightly annoyed at having his rest disrupted, Dipper opened his eyes…
…Only to discover that Bill Cipher was wrapped around him like a fucking koala. And Dipper had been snuggling him.
He let out a strangled cry that was somewhere between a yelp and shriek, and Dipper literally fell out of the bed in his haste to escape. He groaned as his back hit the floor, taking most of the blankets with him. They tangled around Dipper’s legs as he lay there, wishing that this was a bad dream. He knew sleeping in the same bed as Bill was a bad idea. I should’ve just slept in the chair after all, Dipper thought ruefully.
Above him, Bill sat up, yawning and stretching. A hand ran through his messy bedhead, mussing the blond locks even further. If Dipper hadn’t known that Bill was an incredibly dangerous demon who had attempted to destroy an entire universe, he would have thought Bill looked cute. Dipper groaned again. He hated his brain sometimes.
Meanwhile, Mabel was practically cackling as she waved her phone around. Dipper realized that the flash of light he’d seen had been the camera going off. “This is prime scrapbook material!” Mabel cheered, waving the phone in Dipper’s face. The photo she’d just taken was displayed on the screen.
Dipper’s cheeks heated as he saw the picture she’d taken of him and Bill, pressed up against each other with their limbs tangled together. There was even a little drool on Dipper’s chin. “Mabel, please delete that. Don’t post it on Facebook, or Instagram, or Snapchat, or - ”
“I wouldn’t do that!” Mabel cut him off, looking sharply down at him. “I know that’d open up way too many questions we can’t answer. Have I ever posted anything Mystery Twins-related online?”
Dipper breathed out a sigh of relief, which lasted all of five seconds until Mabel opened her mouth again. “But this is totally going in a scrapbook! No complaining, Dipper, you never know when I might need to jog someone’s memories again! We have to document this trip for posterity. Just think of it as being for research.” She laughed again, then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and get dressed.
Dipper disentangled the blanket and got to his feet, while Bill stared at him. “The hell is Shooting Star up to this early?” He asked.
Dipper knew that he would rather be chased by a herd of angry Manotaurs than tell Bill that the two of them had been accidentally touching. (There was no way in hell Dipper would ever call it cuddling). “She took a picture of us in the bed together,” Dipper said.
“Why?” Bill just looked confused. “I mean, it’s not like either of us was naked or anything. I know you humans have weird hang-ups about that.”
Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose, and let out another deep sigh. It was going to be a long day.
-x-
The car ride the rest of the way to Gravity Falls was peaceful, aside from Dipper and Mabel occasionally bickering about the radio. Mabel wanted to listen to generic flavor-of-the-month boy band music. Dipper, while willing to humor Mabel to an extent, apparently wasn’t willing to listen to songs about teenagers hooking up for the entire drive.
“Driver picks the music, Dipper!” Mabel said, slapping Dipper’s hand away from the radio dial. “That’s the rules, and you know it.”
“Mabel, we’ve been listening to Boyz N Sync for the past two hours,” Dipper said. “Please, let me put something else on.”
“Every time you drive, we always listen to those podcasts about monster hunting,” Mabel retorted. “There’s only so many times you can hear about guys almost running into Bigfoot before that gets old, too.”
“The last one was about Mothman, not Bigfoot!”
“Whatever! You can put on what you want - ” Dipper perked up for a moment, reaching for the radio dial again, until Mabel finished her sentence. “ – When you’re the one who’s driving.”
Dipper groaned, leaning over to look out the window. “I wish I remembered what bag I put my headphones in.”
Bill tuned the both of them out, looking out of his own window with a gnawing sense of dread in his stomach. The highway was turning increasing narrow and isolated as they drew ever nearer to Gravity Falls. The forest was becoming thicker as well, and they passed more and more of the tall, thick pines and birch trees that made up most of Gravity Falls’ legendary woods. In what was becoming an increasingly common feeling, Bill had no idea what to expect.
He’d always considered Gravity Falls to be a sort of home base on Earth. Bill had been all over the tiny planet, yet he always seemed to spend most of his time in this universe hanging around that backwoods Oregon town. Its unique magical properties made the natural barriers between worlds thinner than normal, which made it easy for Bill to slip in and out of the Mindscape. Not to mention, Gravity Falls always seemed to attract the type of person that made for an excellent vessel. The old Native shaman, Ford Pines, and…well. Bill glanced over at Dipper, who was dozing with his face pressed against the edge of the car door. He still remembered what being nestled in the kid’s skull felt like. Dipper had been a nervous wreck at age twelve.
“Bill,” Mabel spoke up suddenly. “You’ve been pretty quiet the last day or so. What’s rattling around in that noggin of yours?”
“Nothing,” Bill replied, perhaps a bit more angrily than was warranted. “You’re the one who can’t stay quiet.”
He expected Mabel to get mad, but instead she laughed. “What can I say? I’m a chatterbox!”
“We’re not going to rat you out to Stan,” Dipper said. Apparently, he’d been more awake than Bill thought. “Remember, you still need to help us stop whatever’s threatening our universe. And the Mystery Shack is safe. Nothing’s going to get you there.”
“Yeah, but I’ll have to leave the Shack at some point,” Bill replied. “Then I might as well be wearing a giant sign that says EAT ME.”
“You’ll be with Dipper and me,” Mabel said. “We’re so good at magic now, it’s like we graduated from Hogwarts!”
Bill just grunted, leaning back as the car drove past the old wooden sign that read WELCOME TO GRAVITY FALLS. It still looked exactly the same as when Bill had last seen it, minus a few insanity-inducing flying eyeballs. The old water tower was still there, with a now slightly-faded muffin spray-painted on its side. “Yay, we’re here!” Mabel cheered. “I can’t wait to see everyone! How big do you think Diego’s gotten? Oh, Diego is Soos and Melody’s son, by the way, Bill.”
Somehow, the knot in Bill’s stomach worsened. He peered intently at the spaces between the trees as they drove by, thinking of all the monsters that could be lurking there.
As if sensing his discomfort, Dipper said, “Bill, I know Mabel and I are just humans, or whatever. But, we’re the humans who ruined your plans for world domination. Isn’t that worth something for protection?”
At those words, Bill perked up slightly. “I hate to admit it, but you do have a very small point there, Pine Tree. It takes some pretty damn special humans to screw up my Weirdmageddon.” A shadow of his old smirk returned to his face. For just a moment, Bill saw Dipper smile back in the rearview mirror.
They drove through the town square, past the town hall, Greasy’s Diner, and Gravity Malls. Bill could see the lonely silhouette of the old Northwest manor on a hill high above the town. Aside from a few things – a new paint job here, a renovated building there – the town looked exactly the same as it had just before Bill unleashed Weirdmageddon onto it. Somehow, it irritated him to see that. It’s like all my millions of years of planning didn’t even leave a mark…
Dipper took that moment to randomly have a burst of anxiety, as if realizing just how close they actually were to the Mystery Shack now. “Remember, Bill’s codename is Will Forest, OK? Last thing we want is a slip-up.”
“I know. I’m the one who came up with the name in the first place, y’know,” Mabel said.
“Does everyone remember the cover story?”
“Yes, Pine Tree. I didn’t magically develop amnesia in the last ten minutes, alright?” Bill groused. “I’m many times older than your universe, I think I can remember a cover story.”
“Just making sure we’re all on the same page here,” Dipper replied coolly. “And you have to call people by their actual names, OK? It’ll be a dead giveaway if you start calling me and Mabel ‘Pine Tree and Shooting Star.’” Dipper chose to ignore Bill rolling his eyes and sticking his tongue out at him.
“Don’t worry, Dipper! After all, we’re back in Gravity Falls! We’re going to see our family and have a great summer! Oh, and save the universe, too,” Mabel said, playfully giving her brother a quick shove. She practically bounced in her seat as they started passing signs advertising the Mystery Shack. “Oh, Dipper and I put up some of these when we were teenagers!” She said cheerily.
“I remember. I accidentally hit my thumb with the hammer,” Dipper said.
“Oh yeah! We had to take you to the hospital. Well, at least you didn’t break the bone. Good times, huh?”
Finally, Mabel turned down a bumpy gravel road, and pulled the pickup truck to a stop right in front of the Mystery Shack. It was the same dilapidated tourist trap as last time – an old wooden home that had been repurposed for strangers to gawk at. No one had even bothered to fix the ‘S’ in the Mystery Shack sign, after ten years. But the way Mabel and Dipper looked at the place, with big grins on their faces, it might as well have been a palace.
Mabel banged on the horn loud enough to alert the entire state of their presence. The front door to the Shack practically slammed open in response. A grumpy-looking old man wearing a black suit and a fez stepped outside, waving his fist. “I said no solicitors! If this is about the pugs, I never saw ‘em – oh! Kids!” His expression brightened slightly as Dipper and Mabel jumped out of the pickup truck. Bill got out as well, but stayed by the vehicle. He honestly wasn’t sure what to do in a situation like this. Bill had dominated every single social interaction he’d had for billions of years. He wasn’t used to feeling like a third wheel.
“Grunkle Stan!” The Pines twins chorused. Mabel ran towards Stan, enveloping him in a tight hug. Dipper followed close behind, clearly happy to see the old man.
“Good to see you too, sweetie,” Stan said, returning Mabel’s hug with a slight smile on his face. “And you, Dipper.” He clapped Dipper warmly on the shoulder, as his grand-nephew gave him a hug as well.
Mabel, meanwhile, was peering around Stan at the house. “Where’s – ah! Waddles!” She let out a happy cry as a small pink pig came out of the house, snorting happily. Mabel got to her knees and pulled the pig close to her in a tight embrace. “Waddles! I missed you so much! Have you been good? Not giving Grunkle Stan too much trouble, I hope?”
“That pig eats any food I leave alone for more than a minute, and tracks mud all through the house. I wish they’d let you take him into the dorms.” Contrary to his gruff words, Stan was still smiling fondly at Mabel, as she rubbed her cheek against Waddles’ snout.
“They wouldn’t. Believe me, I asked. The Head of Student Living said there was no such thing as a seeing-eye pig. What a poop-face,” Mabel stuck her tongue out to emphasize the point.
“Well, you aren’t blind anyway, Mabel,” Dipper said, shaking his head at his sister. “We’ve already had the discussion as to why you can’t sneak Waddles onto the campus three times.”
“I still think Waddles would have made a great dorm mascot,” Mabel replied, releasing her pig and standing up. “Oh, I nearly forgot! Grunkle Stan, this is our friend Will Forest. Will, come and say hi!”
Bill took that as his cue to walk forward. Somehow, he felt slightly nervous. Stan’s mind had, after all, been the place of his demise. He knew that it was highly unlikely, but Bill couldn’t help but wonder if Stan would recognize him anyway. Don’t be stupid. You are the all-powerful Bill Cipher, and this is just a mere mortal, he thought to himself. Somehow, it didn’t do much to reassure him when he was stuck in a meatsuit himself.
Bill stuck his hand out. It felt strange, to be doing this outside of making a deal. Almost unnatural. Bill hated looking at his naked palm, lacking the bright blue flames that had surrounded it the last time he’d shaken Stan Pines’ hand. “Hi,” he managed to say. “I’m…Will. Nice to meet you.”
Stan eyed Bill suspiciously. “So, you’re the kid who’s offered to work for free and sleep on the couch, eh?”
“That’s right!” Mabel said, before Bill could even open his mouth. “Will loves the outdoors. The second Dipper told him about the woods around here, he wanted to come up with us.”
“So are you into that complicated math mumbo-jumbo that Dipper studies? I gotta admit, I never thought nerds like that were really into the outdoors. Well, except for Dipper.” Stan still looked suspicious. Bill wondered if the yellow T-shirt and black pants he was wearing were triggering any memories of him. Then again, he had no idea if Stan even remembered what happened in his Mindscape ten years ago.
“It’s quantum mechanics, Stan,” Dipper sighed. “The study of how the universe works? I’ve told you this before.”
“Eh, it’s all Greek to me, as they say,” Stan said. “Well, I never say no to free labor! Besides, you can’t be all bad if you’re Dipper’s friend. Kid’s got pretty good taste.” Stan reached out and took Bill’s hand, shaking it firmly. He had a surprisingly strong grip for an old man.
Dipper ducked his head and rubbed the back of it, but not before Bill saw a smile on his face. The compliment clearly meant a lot to him. “Thanks, Grunkle Stan.”
“You sometimes have good taste in people, alright? Don’t let it get to your head,” Stan replied, though his tone was fond. Bill could tell that he clearly cared a lot for his grand-nephew and -niece. The thought made him feel even more out of place. “Anyway, welcome to the Mystery Shack, Will! A place of rare and amazing magical artifacts that will amaze and astound you!” He gave a dramatic wink, and Bill resisted the urge to roll his eyes with great difficulty.
“Are Soos, Melody, and Wendy here yet?” Mabel asked. “I want to say hi to everyone!”
“Yeah, they’re in the house,” Stan replied. “I told ‘em to wait so they didn’t crowd the door and all start talking at once. We better go inside before they all decide to come out here anyway.”
“Yes!” Mabel cheered, and rushed inside. Stan and Dipper followed, with Bill trailing behind. The four of them went through what Bill remembered, from his brief time possessing Dipper, as being the Mystery Shack. None of it looked particularly interesting. It mostly seemed like a collection of taxidermy or otherwise stuffed animals with different bits glued on. You could literally see the glue stains on some of the stuff. Any humans that fell for this sham of a roadside attraction had to be even dumber than Bill had thought (which was really saying something, considering his already low opinion of humanity).
They passed through a doorway, and into the part of the house where people actually lived. Once they entered the living room, the two people inside came forward, all talking at once as they went to greet the Pines twins. Mabel let out a happy little shriek as she wrapped a portly Latino man Bill recognized as Question Mark into a tight embrace. Well, actually, he supposed that he needed to call the guy Soos, now. He still looked about the same as he had 10 years ago – even the beat-up cap on his head was identical to the one Bill remembered. The only major difference was the lack of Soos’s T-shirt with the signature question mark on it. Instead, the man was wearing a plain black T-shirt, cargo shorts, and work boots. All of his clothes were covered in dust and dirt, as if he’d just rolled around in the woods for an hour.
“Soos! My brother from another mother!” Mabel laughed. “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, Mabel,” Soos said, happily hugging Mabel back. “Skype just isn’t the same as seeing you dudes in person.”
Meanwhile, Dipper was hugging a woman with long red hair and freckles, who was dressed in jeans, a plaid shirt, and a brown fur-lined hat. Ice Bag, Bill thought. But I guess she’s Wendy to me now. He vaguely remembered seeing a few thoughts floating around in twelve year-old Dipper’s head that indicated he’d been attracted to Wendy. For some reason, that caused Bill to feel a surge of dislike towards her. Which made no sense, because he couldn’t care less who Pine Tree dated, or kissed, or had sex with, or whatever.
“Dude, how’ve you been? We’ve got so much catching up to do! How’s college been?” Wendy said.
“It’s been good. Lots of math,” Dipper replied with a big smile on his face. “I’m starting Calculus V next semester, which should really help my understanding of string theory and quantum tunneling.”
“I didn’t understand a word of that,” Wendy grinned, playfully punching Dipper on the arm. He grinned and rubbed the spot she’d hit. “We’ve gotta catch up on some movie marathons, yeah? Just like old times.”
“Absolutely,” Dipper grinned back. “You know I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Somehow, the statement made Bill’s stomach sink like someone had just dropped a rock into it.
“Oh, you two are just in time!” A woman wearing an apron, with long blonde hair that was tied back in a messy ponytail, stepped into the room from the kitchen. She was the first one Bill didn’t recognize at all. “I just got dinner out of the oven. How does pot roast sound?”
“Heck yeah!” Mabel cheered. “I’m starving! Your cooking is the best, Melody!” The woman in question laughed as she and Mabel hugged, before Mabel hurried to the kitchen.
Soos and Wendy followed close behind, both chanting, “Grub time! Grub time!” Stan went after them, yelling for everyone not to open his 2017 vintage “Cog Nack” until he was at the table.
Dipper made to follow everyone else, but paused as he noticed Bill hanging around by the entrance to the living room. He hadn’t said a word since they’d entered the Mystery Shack. “Hey, come on. It’s time for dinner. You want to eat, don’t you?”
Bill just shrugged. “I’m not that hungry. Besides, don’t you want to spend time with your family? They’re a hell of a lot more interested in you than in me.” Bill’s traitorous stomach chose that moment to growl loudly, as if deliberately trying to disprove his words. He glared at it. Stupid meatsack.
Dipper smiled slightly. “They just haven’t been introduced to you yet. Trust me, everyone’ll want to talk to you once we get in the kitchen and sit down.”
Despite Dipper’s encouraging words, Bill was still reluctant to go into the kitchen. He’d been watching humans ever since they had been little more than grunting beasts, staggering around and waving clubs at each other. They were still little more than grunting beasts, though, and far below a much greater being such as himself. Bill had only watched humans in order to determine how they could be most useful to him, how they could help to advance his plans for their universe.
He hadn’t known that humans could be like that with each other, the way Mabel and Dipper were with Wendy, Soos, Stan, and Melody. Affection, support, love…these were all words that were useless to Bill. They meant nothing to him. All this mushy crap did was bring up memories from when Bill had been a much younger demon, before he had made his home in the Nightmare Realm between Mindscapes. Memories that were best left forgotten.
Dipper gently reached out and took Bill’s arm. He looked down, surprised at the touch. “Look,” Dipper said quietly. “You definitely don’t deserve it, but…I want you to meet everyone. Properly, when you’re not trying to kill them all. You’ll be spending plenty of time with everyone since you’re staying with us, so you might as well get to know them a little.”
Bill looked up at Dipper’s eyes, which were warm and encouraging. Their dark green color reminded him briefly of a pine forest, cool and welcoming on a hot summer day. Dipper’s hand on his arm felt nice, too. Supportive. “Okay,” Bill found himself saying.
Dipper grinned, which was a look that Bill decided he liked on the kid’s face. Just marginally more than him screaming in agony, anyway. He allowed Dipper to gently lead him into the kitchen to meet his family, for what was almost the first time.