Chapter Text
The walls of his apartment felt too close, and with every breath he took, it felt like they were getting closer. He wasn't panicking, that much he knew, but he wasn't comfortable. His skin felt itchy, and he knew he wasn't sweaty from patrol; he'd already bathed, and he felt antsy. He'd already paced the cramped space a few times, and in doing so, he was forced to really see and think about how small his apartment was. It was decent for what he could afford, sure, but it had barely become livable.
The apartment Reika had gotten was nice, and it was much bigger than this apartment.
Sakura shook his head, turning over onto his stomach, burying his face into the stupid plushie Kiryuu had given him. That was the real issue, and he knew that. She'd been front and center of his mind since they had met— Sakura Reika. His aunt. The title made him feel weird, and he didn't have the vocabulary to explain it in any other way. She was weird, it was weird she was only six years older than him, this whole situation was weird!
But it was weirder how much Sakura was considering taking her up on her offer.
He did his best to think about it logically, trying to use reasoning Nirei or Suo would use. His current apartment did the bare minimum; it had room for his futon, it had a bathroom, it had a kitchen— kitchenette, according to Kotoha— and now it had more personal items. The door also still didn't have a lock, the outside was still rundown and looked haunted, the draft from the window was unbearable on cold nights, and he thinks he found black mold growing in his bathroom. That last fact he had kept to himself, lest Nirei demand they have a 'first years clean up day' or something.
Reika's apartment didn't seem to have black mold. It was a bit closer to school, which would shave a few minutes from his commute. He'd have an actual bedroom instead of a room that doubled as a bedroom and a living area. He wouldn't be paying for rent or groceries or bills. The door had a working lock. He wouldn't be living alone. Granted, he'd be living with a practical stranger who shared nothing more than blood with him, but he wouldn't be responsible for all these things anymore. Logically, it would be beneficial for him to move in with her, but it wasn't just his logic that was steering his decision.
He wanted to get to know her.
He had never known what his mother had looked like; all he knew from whispers behind his back and the harsh words of his father was that she had died during childbirth, and everyone blamed Sakura. Then Reika had shown up, and it was like the world cracked beneath Sakura's feet. He had seen pictures of his mother, he had stared down the woman who gave him life, and he realized he looked like her. And he had realized, looking up, that Reika had looked like her.
He had thought he hadn't cared about blood ties or family or bonds. He had learned to rely on himself, to protect himself with his hands, to hurt others before they hurt him. It had kept him moving; it had kept him alive. His past had been nothing more than a blurry shadow that haunted him. He'd gotten better at ignoring it, living in Makochi, had been able to accept affection, though he'd prefer not to, had learned that he didn't have to expect pain and hatred from everyone. Truly, the only time he was forced to face his past was during his nightmares.
Then Reika had shown up, and suddenly the shadows had a face, had a name. And he wanted to know more, more, more. And the only person who had the answers was in the form of his maternal aunt, who was offering to house him and pay for rent and bills and—
He rolled over, taking his blanket with him, as he sat up, reaching and grabbing his phone, squinting against the harsh light in the dark of his room. It wasn't late, but he had turned in early, his mind too overwhelmed. Sakura had a feeling he'd regret doing this, but he knew he'd regret it if he didn't. So he steeled himself, sucking in a breath as he dialed a contact, holding the phone up to his ear.
It rang a few times, and for a moment, Sakura thought about hanging up and chickening out. It wasn't like he wasn't going to be at school tomorrow; it wasn't like he couldn't ask his questions tomorrow or seek advice. Or maybe he'd keep it bottled up and figure it out on his own? That's what he used to do. But he didn't have to do what he used to do, not anymore.
"Hello?" The voice on the other end answered, sounding slightly tired as he spoke, "Sakura? You good?"
Sakura licked his lips, realizing that with his actions being on a whim, he didn't have a script or any idea of what he was going to say. He was quieter than he wanted to be as he responded, "Umemiya. Can, I, uh, sorry, to call so late."
Umemiya was quiet for a moment, "You don't have to apologize, Sakura. What's up?"
"Do you have time to talk?" Sakura shut his eyes tight, curling up slightly as he sat, "If- if not, it's fine. I mean, I'll be at school tomorrow, anyway, so I can— you know, actually, forget it—"
"Sakura," He was cut off, and he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from spewing more nonsense, "I'm always free to talk to one of my little brothers." Despite the mix of emotions, Sakura did at least manage to scowl, "I'm, uh, actually still at the school, tending to my garden, ended up running a bit late."
Umemiya laughed to himself, and Sakura let out a breath, sounding more like a hiss, and he nodded, "Okay, yeah. I'll, uh, I'll be there."
He hung up without waiting for a response, standing up and kicking his blanket off of him. He didn't bother changing; he'd likely come home and pass out anyway, but slipped his shoes on, heading outside. The sun was still up, though the rays were barely pushing through the buildings and trees. A few townspeople were outside, and they all waved to him, calling out pleasantries as he passed by. He awkwardly waved back to a few, but he was too stuck in his own mind to process what they were saying to him.
Before he knew it, he was walking inside the school, his footsteps echoing in a way that was right out of one of those horror movies Kiryuu had shown him. The route up to the roof was ingrained in his mind, and within a few minutes, he was pushing the door open, stepping back outside. The little lights around were light, twinkling like stars in the setting sun, and Umemiya was there, covered in dirt and sweat. But he smiled when he saw Sakura, taking his gardening gloves off and putting them down gently.
"Sakura, get here okay?"
He spoke so casually, and Sakura just shrugged, feeling small as he hiked his shoulders up, avoiding eye contact. He may have been the one to call Umemiya, but this still felt awkward. He'd gotten better at actually talking to people, but his first instinct was still to fight or to bolt. His feet remained planted, and he let out a cough like breath.
"Uh," He shuffled, not moving closer but not stepping away, "I wanted to talk. About Reika."
He heard Umemiya sigh, and when he glanced up, the look on his face was soft, almost affectionate. It made his skin crawl and his face flush, and he looked away again.
"I figured as much, why don't you come sit down, huh?"
Sakura hesitated, but pushed himself forward, walking over to the couch and sitting down heavily, not bothering to sit up or look put together. It didn't matter if he did; Umemiya's ability to read through people had gotten better after everything with Suo, so there was no point in trying. Instead of sitting next to him, Umemiya dragged a chair, the metal scraping loudly against the concrete as he sat across from Sakura. He didn't launch into a speech or questions; he just sat quietly, patient. It made Sakura itch to have the other type of conversation instead.
"This whole situation," He started, frowning up at the darkening sky, "It's so… weird."
It was quiet, and after a beat, he found himself continuing, "She's weird. Reika, I mean. She comes outta nowhere, says she's my aunt, shows me pictures of my mom. Then she says she wants me to live with her and she goes out and she gets an apartment and she gets a job and- and…" He trailed off, feeling the uncomfortable feeling from earlier flaring back up.
"And?" Umemiya asked, and Sakura looked over at him, seeing his head tilted slightly, studying the way Sakura was sitting.
"And it's just weird! It's- it's peculiar." Suo would be proud of him for remembering his vocab from the other week. "And… I don't know what to do."
Umemiya sighed, a quick flash of a smile on his face, "That's fair." Sakura blinked at him, "It's a strange situation to find yourself in, I don't blame you for not knowing what to do."
"Well what am I supposed to do?" The question shot out of Sakura's mouth before he could stop it, and he found himself sitting up, palms against his knees, "Huh?"
"Sakura, I can't tell you what to do in this situation."
"Why not? You've told me what to do in every other situation we've been in!"
Umemiya paused, as if considering his words, "I've definately given you suggestions, Sakura, but you're your own person. A very stubborn person, admittedly. You choosing to fight Togame and having that conversation with him, and telling them to him to be cool from then on out. You helping Tsubaki-chan and Roppo Ichiza, you choosing to be there for Anzai and the others against Keel, despite believing it wasn't a Furin issue. You've chosen to be by your friends, to fight with them, to put yourself out there, to go after your friends when they're being reckless. I may have told you to slow down or think, but Sakura, every decision you've made has been your own."
Sakura's face was on fire as Umemiya spoke, and for some reason, his eyes burned like he was going to cry. He scrubbed at his face, refusing to do so. He wasn't a kid.
"But this is a time I need someone to tell me what to do!"
Umemiya just shook his head, "This is a decision that's solely for you to make, Sakura."
Sakura didn't respond, the glower on his face deepening as he stared at Umemiya, hoping the third year would crack and tell him what to do. He didn't.
"Let me ask you something, Sakura. If one of the townspeople had offered you to come live with them for free, would you have taken them up on their offer?"
"No," The response was instant, immediate. It caught him off guard, but Umemiya didn't seem surprised.
"Why?"
"I- look- I don't wanna insult—"
"You're not insulting anyone," Umemiya soothed him, hands up in faux surrender, "Just answer me honestly, okay?"
Sakura paused, considering his words, "'Cause I don't really know them. Like, I get we protect the town and we help them and stuff, but… why would I live with a stranger?"
Umemiya nodded along with his words, "Okay. Thank you for your honesty," There was a little gleam in his eyes, "You answered that pretty fast."
"I- you asked me to!"
He laughed quietly, "I did, I did. In this situation, though, Reika's offered to have you live with her. And yes, you two are related, but she's a stranger to you. Yet you didn't reject her offer instantly, like you would if someone in town had offered it to you."
Let it be known that every time one of his underclassmen had lashed out against Umemiya, it had been warranted. Truthfully, in that moment, Sakura wished to be able to respond the way Kaji had after the pair had been caught on the roof, and throw a solid punch at Umemiya's face, because why was he pointing this out? Why was he making Sakura think about this?
"That's- that's different!"
"How?"
"Because she's—" My aunt. My family. The words caught in his throat, and suddenly it felt like the dam broke.
He remembered telling everyone about his past; he remembers telling Momijikawa about how he had killed a person before, about how his father had looked down at him with cold eyes and called him a murderer. He had smiled while he said it, because he had come to Furin, he had come to Makochi. But now, right now, Sakura wasn't smiling; he wasn't thinking about how amazing this town was or how much his friends meant to him. He was a kid again, hot tears running down his face as his reasoning died in his throat.
Because she's my family.
Because she sought me out when everyone else pushed me away.
Because she got an apartment.
Because she's been actively job hunting.
Because she's giving someone like Sakura the biggest bedroom in the apartment.
Later, he'd find the way Umemiya floundered at his tears funny, in a twisted way, but right now he was too mortified to think so. He tried hiding his face, ducking and wiping at the tears that didn't seem to stop. "Fuck," He had gotten better at not cursing, especially around any of the third years, but this felt warranted.
"I- I want to get to know her," Sakura admitted, the words falling like a whisper, a secret he was too ashamed to admit, "I want to know about my mom."
I want a family.
I want my family.
Umemiya had managed to find a tissue, and Sakura was quick to snatch it from his hands, trying to hide his face in it. His nose already felt stuffed, and he just knew he'd have a headache later. Maybe he could convince Kiryuu to buy him one of those energy drinks Nirei swore were bad for them tomorrow, cause no way he was sleeping well tonight.
"Sakura," Umemiya crouched down in front of him, and on a normal day, he'd feel patronized, shouting about how he wasn't a kid, "If you want to live with her, that is your choice, and your choice alone. Same with if you don't want to live with her. You can get to know her on your own terms, and if she truly wishes to be a part of your life now, she'll respect that."
"I," Could he admit it? Did he have a right to want it? "I want to." He swallowed, his throat feeling thick and the words coming out heavy, "To live with her."