Chapter Text
When the missive had arrived from Uzushio not two weeks prior, proposing an alliance through marriage to its acting Regent, Umino Iruka, Kakashi had offered his hand without a moment’s hesitation; no persuasion or threats of burning books required.
“I’m sorry,” Lady Tsunade had said, voice laced with mounting scepticism as she peered up from the letter in her hands, “either my ears are going dull, brat, or I could have sworn I heard you say that you accept—”
“I said I will accept House Uzumaki’s proposal of marriage.”
“The proposal has not been extended to you, Lord Hatake,” Nara Shikaku, Commander of Her Majesty’s army, pointed out from an armchair to the righthand side of Her Majesty’s desk. He appeared relaxed, giving off a nonchalance air. His deep olive-green tailcoat had been discarded, folded neatly and hung over the back of the chair as he sat leg crossed over his knee and an elbow propped on an armrest, holding a tumbler filled with two-fingers of whiskey.
Though shy a few seasons from his fortieth year, he was as clever as he was dangerous. Battle had marred his face early in life—two deep, but now long healed scars marked the right side of his face—and his dark eyes were ever sharp and watchful. He was Her Majesty’s strategist and one of the few whom offered a loyal ear to the Queen, and gave her honest counsel whenever it was sought, and even when it was not.
He cocked his head, the strands of his black hair tousled from their bristly up-do, and pulled at the dark hairs on his chin with his free hand. “I must say, it is quite bold of you to assume you would be the most appropriate suitor for the Regent.”
Kakashi raised his one-eyed gaze from the small leatherbound book in his hand. The pupil, cold and stormy grey, slid over toward the Commander, then to Lady Tsunade, then back again. “I think you’ll find it wasn’t offered to any one person, Commander Nara,” he countered. “So, unless a better suitor is found, I shall put forth my hand in marriage.”
Lady Tsunade considered him silently for a moment; her honey-brown eyes measuring both him and the worth of his declaration.
The Queen of Konoha, Lady Senju Tsunade, was a woman of great renown, though not only for her position as Sovereign of Konoha, but for a great number of things:
She was a medical savant and widely sought surgeon; an experienced hand-to-hand specialist with the strength of a dozen men; one of the Great Three and beloved granddaughter of Lord Senju Hashirama, the Igniter of the Will of Fire; a deserter of House Senju and a returning long-lost daughter of Konoha; and a notorious drinker and gambler with a bad-luck streak long enough to make even the most unsuperstitious person alive pray for her good fortune whenever she pulled out a deck of cards.
She was also one of the few people alive that knew Kakashi well enough to know why he was both so eager to accept the Regent’s proposal, and yet have an underlying inkling that perhaps his motivation was not fuelled by noble intention alone.
Which was a preposterous notion, indeed. Kakashi knew his intentions were nothing but noble and true. The son of his late mentor and his wife, whom herself was a princess and an Honourable Vessel, was all but left to fend for himself in a province that showed little care to its Sovereign House, let alone its young crown prince.
He had already tried to find a way to get to the child’s side; he had considered an Ambassadorship, becoming Konoha’s spokesperson within the Uzushio Assembly, but that thought had fell the moment he tried to put any substance to it.
For one, while it would grant him some temporary stay in the province, he would still be at a distance from the boy, having no direct contact with him, except during designated meetings with the Regent. And even those would be few and far between, seeing as how the Regen had moved himself and young prince to an estate on the southwestern Uzushio coast, on land belonging to House Umino—or so Her Majesty’s Spymaster’s reports stated.
Then there was the matter of actively attending Assembly meeting and providing counsel. He may have been born into a noble family, but Kakashi was raised a soldier and spent a great number of years serving Konoha as an Anbu Asset. Being in a room discussing politics and policies made Kakashi restless and dull—if he didn’t have the pages of his books to escape to, he wasn’t sure how he would cope. Her Majesty barely tolerated his peculiar crutch; he highly doubted the Houses that made up the Uzushio’s Assembly would be half as lenient as she.
A marriage, however, would be beneficial on most accounts; sidestepping the former, giving him both a formal and legal right of abode within the province, and he could even leave the mind-numbing politics to the Regent. Well, for the most part; he knew he would have to attend a ball or accompanying the taut-strung Regent to an Assembly gathering or two. It would force him to stow away his books for a time, sure, but that was something Kakashi could live with. He owed his mentor that much at least.
Sighing, Lady Tsunade delicately folded the letter and placed it on her desk. “And to what benefit would it be for me to have the Captain of my Anbu Honour Guard in a foreign state? How would you look to gratify such a loss to your Sovereign?”
“Maa, give the captaincy to Tenzō: He will do fine as Captain in my place, if not better,” Kakashi drawled, earning him a small hum of agreement from Shikaku. He marked his page with a thin, fraying blue ribbon and closed his book shut with a taut snap. He tucked it away into the pocket sewn into the lining of his dark charcoal coat above his breast as he added, “the Nine know he deserves the promotion, and he would lead the guard with an efficiency that would be unmatched.”
The Queen narrowed her eyes. “That be as it may, I could just as easily have Sir Yamato offer his hand instead. He too is as eligible to claim association with House Senju as you are.” She tipped her head ever so slightly. A perfectly manicured hand with neatly painted nails, deep red in colour, drummed against the desk impatiently. Click-click-click-clack. “So, I ask that you enlighten me again: What do I stand to benefit from losing you to Uzushio?”
Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek. Tenzō would undoubtedly make a fine match for Umino on parchment and in temperament, that much is true, he admitted, though the thought brought him no joy. He may be prone to teasing his retainer on occasion, but even Kakashi was not so cruel to force his friend into a union he had not asked for or wanted.
Sir Minato had been Kakashi’s late mentor—not Tenzō’s—and so the protection of the son he had left behind should fall to him and no one else. All he had to do now was have Her Majesty see reason.
He straightened slightly, correcting his slouched posture by pushing off from the wall which he had been leaning against for the better part of the afternoon. “It would be little to your benefit, I admit, but I have an obligation to oversee the young prince’s safety,” he argued. “My reasons as to why should be obvious—”
“Are you not beholden to your obligations towards your Sovereign, and your kingdom as well?” she reminded him. “Are you saying that this obligation you hold to your deceased mentor’s son outweigh those for the kingdom of which you have sworn fealty to?”
Kakashi’s one eye sharpened as he replied, his manner turning cold, “are you questioning my allegiance—”
“I believe Her Majesty is questioning how much sway your devotion to the late Sir Namikaze, and his son by proxy, has on your considerations of this proposal,” Shikaku supplied, as he cast a meaningful look at their Queen. “Never your fidelities, of course, Lord Hatake. Your years of service to the Crown and its kingdom are proof of enough of your loyalty; is that not so, Your Majesty?”
A thick silence befell the room; Queen and her Captain locked in a quiet battle of wits. Her Majesty inhaled deeply through pressed lips as she measured her next words carefully, her stern gaze never wavering under Kakashi’s cool glare. “I understand your concerns about the boy, believe me I have my own, but what of it?”
“Say I agree to this match and you make your offer of union, to which the Regent also accepts; what then? Do you plan to reside in Uzushio for the rest of your days being a guardian of the young prince?” she questioned, one delicate hand raised and pointed toward him. “It would not be easy for you to return to Konoha on a whim so long as he is in your care. You would be leaving your life here behind and all that would entail.”
“I know, and I am willing."
“You would technically be marrying below your status. And then there’s the matter of succession; you would need to formally abdicate your right as my successor.”
Kakashi continued to hold her gaze, unflinching. “Of which I am aware.”
Another beat of silence. Another moment of staring, gauging who would be the first to break.
Finally, as though she could not bear a second longer of discomfort, Her Majesty scoffed. “Of course, you are. I suppose, I shouldn’t be surprised that you would be fine with that. If anything, you would see that as more of an incentive,” she said with a roll of her eyes, before tacking on a barely audible grunt of ‘or the nuisance it is for me as it means I’m once again in search for a suitable heir.’
The Queen sighed and rubbed small circles at the purple diamond mark on her forehead. “You understand that the Uzushio nobility won’t take your presence there lightly, yes? That there is no telling how they will retaliate? I mean, if they are even so bold as to cover up the assassination of their late princess—their last known Vessel no less—and her consort, they will not bat an eye when they do the same to you—"
“Alleged assassination,” Shikaku reminded them, dissipating the moment of tension between both Kakashi and his Sovereign; they shared a mutual look of vexation at the Commander’s correction instead. “We must remember that official reports out of Uzushio have claimed their deaths were a result of an unfortunate, unverified circumstance, and so we must remember refer to it as such until any further truths are brought to light. Especially when in polite company from abroad.”
Anyone with eyes could discern that the ‘unfortunate accident’ that had befallen Princess Uzumaki Kushina, and her consort, Sir Namikaze Minato, was anything but: for a carriage carrying the Principality’s Sovereign, an Honoured Vessel of the Ninth, and her beloved consort, the previous Captain of Konoha’s Anbu Honour Guard, whom was widely regarded for his speed and efficiency on the battlefield, in which he had earned the moniker of the ‘Yellow Flash’—plus accompanied by an additional dozen or so of their armed entourage—should not so easily find themselves all perished at the bottom of a ravine due to some mere ‘unfortunate, unverified circumstance’.
Kakashi himself only had one proper working eye to speak of, and yet even he could see it clearly for the meticulously planned slaughter it had been.
Shikaku continued on. “Though, regardless of the circumstances that surround their deaths, Her Majesty makes an excellent point. We must keep in mind that Uzushio has been in the throes of political turmoil for near on a decade now. Their Sovereign House has long been in disfavour with their contemporaries; far longer than when the late princess announced her engagement to Sir Namikaze, a commoner and a foreign national at that. That was merely the twisting of the proverbial knife in the back, and not the initial stabbing itself, which —”
“Which began with her foolish predecessor and his supposed ‘divine right to rule’, and his attempt to usurp the power of the Uzushio Assembly, which we all know ended with him being dethroned and beheaded. With House Uzumaki left in shambles, what remained of their people denounced title and House before leaving in max exodus, etcetera, etcetera,” Tsunade sighed with a wave of her hand. “Spare us the history lesson please, Commander, and make your point plainly.”
Commander Shikaku spared a glance to the ceiling, muttered a barely disguised ‘what a drag’, before he amended, “my point is that the situation presented is delicate. House Uzumaki is currently at its lowest standing since its conception—especially so without an official Ninth Vessel backing them—and the other Houses will be happy in keeping it that way.”
Well, it made tactical sense, Kakashi agreed objectively. Culling the previous head of power, and leaving the Sovereign House in the hands of a child created a gaping power vacuum in Uzushio, leaving any and all governing power to the highest standing Houses that led the Assembly. Other smaller Houses would fight for the dregs left for them, or form alliances with more powerful Houses, or even seek help from courts abroad, getting their backing so long as they met their foreign financiers’ needs and wishes.
“Lord Hatake, a man of your stature and renown will not be well received in their circles, as so Her Majesty attests. At best, they will see your presence as an affront, that perhaps you have been sent by Her Majesty under the rouse of marriage to investigate the deaths of the late Princess and your predecessor, and at worst an attempt from Konoha to infiltrate and seize the Uzushio throne through marriage; the same postulation that was raised had when Princess Kushina announced her marriage to Sir Namikaze.” He pressed his crystal tumbler to his lips and took a sip; the ice cube in the clinked against glass as it tilted. “In all honestly, I will be amazed if you, the Regent and the young prince all make it past the Summer. Should Her Majesty agree with your bid as marriage candidate, of course.”
A feeling akin to static danced along Kakashi’s skin and through the veins of his right arm; he flexed and curled his fingers to better circulate the sudden spike brought on by the Commander’s remark. “I have spent a lifetime protecting Konoha and Her Will of Fire. I fail to see how is this any different.”
Shikaku raised an eyebrow. The ice in his glass continued to go clink, clink, clink as he rotated it in his calloused palm. “The difference is you’re far more used to facing your opponents on a battlefield, where you and your opponent are primed for battle. The game of politics is a different battle altogether; a game of wits of a different kind. It requires knowing one’s opponent in a more intimate setting; employing subterfuge and coercion to get them to kneel; and knowing what makes them tick. It also requires an understanding of how Assembly proceedings operate and intricacies of debate which you lack—”
“In case you’ve forgotten, I was once an Anbu Asset before joining the Honour Guard’s rank and file; I am no stranger to a little subterfuge,” Kakashi argued, shoving his hands into his pockets to hide their twitching from view. “Also, as you can see, I attend Her Majesty’s summons and show up to Assembly. I engage in debate and I contribute at counsel—"
“Showing up in the last quarter of an Assembly meeting doesn’t count, brat. In fact, you were so late to today’s counsel that you arrived as the rest were preparing to leave,” Lady Tsunade scoffed. She pointed a finger at him and frowned. “And I think it rather bold to claim that what you do is a contribution—you spend the majority of counsel with your nose pressed to the page of those trashy stories you care for so much!”
“Maa, in all fairness, Your Majesty, these meetings can be quite a bore. I need to keep my mind active, you see, and—”
“My point still stands,” the Commander spoke up again, sharply. “The Uzushio Assembly will likely consider you as a threat, and sending you, or anyone else of similar status may only aggravate the other Houses to act out. Drastically, I fear. If House Senju agrees to the Regent’s proposal, the other Uzushio houses may see it as an opportunity to incite conflict between Uzushio and Konoha—"
That set Kakashi on edge again; the fine hairs at the back of his neck stood on end as he bristled. “You would suggest House Senju forsake their oldest ally to maintain such a fragile semblance of peace?"
The Commander’s dark eyes flickered over to meet Kakashi’s, matching him glare for glare. “Do not mistake my words: I am in full agreement that we should provide support to House Uzumaki,” he said evenly as his gaze returned to Her Majesty, “I simply urge we take consideration in how we do so. Our people have only just started to properly recover after the fallout of the Oto Secession. If we act too rashly and send the kingdom into another conflict, it will not look favourably towards you, Your Majesty.”
“Yes. That is true,” Lady Tsunade echoed. She sighed as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk. Tonton, her ever faithful companion, snorted in her sleep as she burrowed her face deeper into the velvet cushion she laid atop. Considered a runt for her size, even despite her already small breeding, at full grown she was the size of a small lap hound and was treated far better than any of the hounds within Kakashi’s pack—which was spoke volumes as Kakashi was known to spoil his hounds, treating them better than his own men on occasion.
The Queen ran a hand down the tiny sow’s head, then around to scratch under her chin; Tonton snuffled in response, her hind leg twitching and her ear flopping against her face as she leaned into the Queen’s touch. “It could very much end up being a detriment to Konoha in the end. The Nine know our people have suffered enough these past two decades—"
“It would also be a detriment not to act at all, Your Majesty,” Kakashi argued as he stepped forward and swept an arm out to an empty seat to his left. “Why just last month your Spymaster reported that Uzushio was seeing a great influx of activity from other kingdoms arriving to their docks—kingdoms who have no love for Konoha. Other forces are already at play; to hesitate now may cost you severely down the line.”
Shikaku tilted his head in acknowledgement and hummed. “This is also true: Uzushio has had an uptick in trade dealings with the other kingdoms. It would only make sense that some of these kingdoms are also plying the other Uzushio Houses with coin or men. If any one of them make a play for the seat of Sovereign House we could very see Uzushio fall into another civil war.”
“We also can’t rule out the possibility that the provinces of Oto and Ame aren’t involved either,” Kakashi added, “Neither were named in Morino’s reports, but we’ve been aware of communications between Hanzō and House Shimura for some time, and as for Orochimaru—"
“He is unpredictable,” Lady Tsunade said, her honey eyes narrowing a fraction. “A snake hiding in the grass, ready and waiting to strike. I would not put it past him to not see the unrest in Uzushio as some golden opportunity to further his own self-interests.”
“It is also important to recognise that whomever emerges victorious in this theoretical clash will claim any scraps for themselves, puppeteering their winning House from afar.” Kakashi reminded with a nod. “And right by the kingdom’s doorstep no less.”
With a groan Her Majesty rubbed a perfectly manicured hand across her face. “What a damn mess.” For a moment, her true age peeked through its magical veil, revealing a tired and haggard face, with stress lines forming at the corners of her eyes. As quickly as it appeared, Lady Tsunade blinked as she ran her hand over her face again, casting the glamour back in place. “Commander. Kindly pass the whiskey, would you?”
Upon her request, a dark, thinner-than-paper hand emerged from the shadows under the Commander’s armchair. It zigzagged across the carpet and curled itself around the sturdy desk leg, climbing up and up, until it slid across the polished oak surface to the nearly empty crystal decanter. The decanter moved on its own, pushed along the desk by a shadowed hand, towards an empty glass tumbler by Her Majesty’s hand. When it reached near, Lady Tsunade took off the lid with a pop and let the decanter be tipped by the shadow on the table, pouring the amber coloured liquid into the tumbler.
When the whiskey had finished pouring, she sealed the decanter and raised her glass in thanks towards her Commander, all before downing the drink in one swift gulp, seemingly unbothered by the burn that followed. Kakashi shared a quick look with the Commander, but neither felt the need to comment on their Sovereign’s vices—that they would leave to her advisor, Miss Shizune, when she returned.
“A real shitty double-edged sword of a situation we seem to have found ourselves in, hmm? Damned if we do something; damned if we don’t,” she said after a moment. She traced a finger around the rim of her glass and licked her lip. “Now, I am already aware of Hatake’s feelings on the matter and what he would have me do, but what say you, Commander? Any final thoughts?”
“Well, as you’ve so astutely said, Your Majesty,” the Commander said, “no matter what we do—whether we provide our support to House Uzumaki openly or subtly from afar, we are sure to incur the ire of the other Uzushio Houses once it all comes to light.” As he finished the remainder of his glass, he gave a shrug and added, “I say we openly accept Regent Umino’s marriage proposal. It will undoubtedly upset a number of Houses, but others may seek out House Uzumaki because of it.”
“Which would in turn benefit us, especially if they are able to provide any weight to rumours of foreign backing that some Houses are receiving,” Her Majesty mused aloud.
“Precisely. As I see it, the benefits outweigh the risk.”
Kakashi straightened; he felt a surge of hope beginning to alight in his chest. “But you said you were in opposition—"
“I said I was in support of an alliance with House Uzumaki; I am, however, opposed to the notion of sending you, Lord Hatake, as a suitable match—” Kakashi held his breath, feeling the light of hope in his chest dimmed a touch. “—See, while I am in agreement that Sir Yamato would be a suitable for your replacement as Anbu Honour Guard Captain, I am also of the mind that he would serve far better as consort to the Regent than you.”
“How so?”
“Simple: his lack of notability outside of Konoha will make him seem as something of a curiosity to the other Uzushio Houses. They will want to know him—"
“But do you not think that that the Houses will be wary of his anonymity instead?” Kakashi put forward. “They will not want to do business or shake hands with an unknown man from a foreign kingdom—"
“Perhaps, but better it be an unknown man than a known man with a bloody reputation as infamous as yours, Lord Hatake. Some will be cautious of Sir Yamato, yes, but others will tolerate his presence on principle to better determine his nature and to see if there is potential gain for them. You, on the other hand, will scare them off with your reputation before you even enter the room.”
Kakashi fought back the roll his one good eye. He had little tolerance for talk of societal hierarchies and reputations, at least not on the superficial level that mattered a great deal to the noble class—Kakashi hadn’t cared for social standing since the day he found his father cold body on the floor of his bedchambers.
“Alright. You have each spoken your piece,” The Queen interrupted. She steepled her fingers together as her eyes cast down at the letter on her desk. “We are all in agreement on accepting the Regent’s proposal, however, I find myself drawing a blank on the man himself. What can you tell me about him, Commander?”
Commander Shikaku let out a hum as he recalled what he could of the man. “Well, for starters His Grace is the sole remaining member of House Umino, a minor House from the southwest of Uzushio. They had no great influence, save for their ties to House Uzumaki through the late Dame Umino Kohari, a distant member of one of its many branch families. When she and her husband, Sir Umino Ikkaku, both perished at the beginning of the Divine Right Uprising, the Regent—"
“While appreciated, I do not need to know the man’s entire biography from birth to present, Commander. I simply wish to know of what you can tell me about his character,” The Queen sighed.
The Commander paused, taking a moment to consider how best to describe the Regent, however, when he next opened his mouth to speak again, to give his assessment of the man’s nature, it was Kakashi who answered first:
“For one, the man is insufferably obstinate. I fear he is ruled by his emotions and governed by a wilful heart, which constantly threaten to lead him astray from any manner of concise reasoning, even when the most rational answer is as obvious as the scar on his face—"
A tiny voice in the back of his mind willed him to stop—pleaded even, to stay his tongue—but he found he could not hear it over its louder rival, urging him on unabashedly; and so, his words flowed, with a mind of their own, keen to be heard.
“—Then there’s his temper! By the Nine, what a temper he has. Believe me when I say he has no qualms with brandishing his words so brazenly and honestly—of which I have suffered from on more than one unfortunate occasion. The man is either boldly unafraid or simply too ignorant of the repercussions it could cost him if he wielded that sharp tongue of his against the wrong individual.”
His fingers suddenly itched again, but this time with the urge to twirl and twist the blue ribbon that was currently masquerading as a bookmark between the pages of the book pressed to his chest. “However, I suppose, at his core, one could consider Regent Umino a good, honest man; if he were not, I sincerely doubt Sir Namikaze and Princess Kushina would not have so willingly entrusted him with the health and care of their only son.”
When he had finished, Kakashi found that the room around him had fallen into a deep, almost unsettling silence. Both his Sovereign and the lone member from her counsel present regarded him with matching thoughtful stares.
In what would be seen as rather uncharacteristic of his intellect in retrospect, it took Kakashi a long moment for his mind slowly began to work through the words he had said, and the pair of matching contemplative looks he had received. When the sudden and dreaded realisation hit him to his core, he was overcome with a series of thoughts that raced through his mind in quick succession:
The first thought that came to him was: Oh. It was not my opinion Her Majesty had asked for—
Which was quickly followed by: Ah, I may have said too much—
Which in turn was followed by and ultimately ended with: Oh, by the Nine, strike me down; I have definitely said too much.
His only saving grace from utter and total embarrassment was that his audience had been so small; he was fortunate enough that the handful of others who frequently offered Her Majesty counsel were not present in the room and were busily tending to their duties instead of witnessing his blunder.
What did not save him from utter and total embarrassment, however, was that the two whom were present were quick on the uptake; both Queen and Commander exchanged a knowing smile.
It was Lady Tsunade who broke the silence first. “My, you certainly hold a strong of an opinion of the Regent, Lord Hatake,” she said. “You speak as if you share a close familiarity with him. With the Nine as their witness, one might misplace your frustrations for fondness.” She now wore a saccharine smile that made Kakashi feel sick to his stomach. He had often spent a great deal of time as a patient under her medical ministrations and knew from experience that while such a smile could be from a many number things, they all ultimately boiled down to one thing—trouble.
“I would not dare make such a claim, Your Majesty. I have only met the Regent on the odd occasion over the years, and even then, it has been some time since we last met,” Kakashi said, keeping his voice neutral as he tried to minimise the damage that he had self-inflicted.
The Queen gave him a knowing look; her honey eyes flickered up and down his person. Despite being covered from mask to toe, her gaze made him feel uncomfortably bare.
Well, so much for damage control, Kakashi thought wryly. If I manage to save even a shred of dignity, I will count myself lucky.
Lady Tsunade, who seemed content to give him no quarter, looked to Shikaku and raised a quizzical brow. “And?”
Shikaku, who had had been silently studying Kakashi, fixed the Anbu Honour Guard Captain with a blank stare. With his chin resting against the knuckles of his fist, he turned to his Sovereign and nodded. “I would say he speaks true, Your Majesty. Though I only had a single opportunity to meet the young Regent, on the night of Princess Kushina and Sir Namikaze’s wedding festivities, I found His Grace to be a pleasant and polite young man.” As he looked back to Kakashi, his lips curled upward into a smug smirk. “To His Grace's other qualities, I could not attest to know. And certainly not so… fervently.”
Her Majesty let out a cackle. “Ha! Quite!” She shook her head; her long blonde hair, tied into two matching tails, brushed against her shoulders. “Honestly, brat, if I had known you had feelings for the man, we wouldn’t have had such a lengthy discussion about potential suitors and could have spent the time toasting your engagement instead.”
It was at that precise moment that Kakashi silently hoped the floor would open its metaphorical maw and swallow him whole.
Feelings? For the Regent, Umino Iruka? Okay, yes, there was a certain charm to the man, an attraction even—that was something Kakashi would admit too—even he found that the Regent was not hard on the eyes, what with his warm toned skin and bright, expressive smile. But feelings? For that hot-blooded, quick-to-temper, stubborn-as-all-hell man, who wouldn’t last a minute on a battlefield? Never.
He cleared his throat, feeling the heat rising from his face. “Maa, Your Majesty, if I may clarify a few things. I fear there may be a misunderstanding—”
“At peace, Lord Hatake. There is no need to divulge further. You have my word that none of what was spoken here today will leave the sanctity of these walls,” the Commander promised.
Lady Tsunade leaned back in her chair, grinning from ear to ear as she went about pouring herself another glass of whiskey. “Says you! I for one cannot wait to share this glorious titbit with Shizune.”
“How troublesome,” her Commander sighed. “While I still strongly advise against it, should Her Majesty ultimately decide on approving your betrothal to Uzushio's Regent, I am sure Her Majesty will endeavour to ensure that naught but the news of your betrothal be disclosed outside of this room. Is that not so, Your Majesty?”
Lady Tsunade let out a snort as she drank from her glass. She waved her free hand. “Oh please, it’s only Shizune—that woman knows just as many secrets as Ibiki and Inoichi combined—she won’t say a word.”
The Commander cast his Sovereign a stern look.
“Yes, yes. Alright. Fine. Not a word, save for news of the union, will exist beyond these walls.” She regarded Kakashi again, though this time it was with a softer, kinder smile. “I hereby give you my approval to this union, brat. May you find your husband-to-be to be just as agreeable to this match as you.”
Kakashi inclined his head, as his shoulders sagged with relief; though whether it were from being granted Her Majesty's consent to the union or knowing that his self-inflicted torment was almost at an end, he was unsure. “You are most gracious, Your Majesty.”
The Queen tilted her head in kind.
“Now normally it would be customary for you to write a letter of offer in reply, but I implore you to have Sir Might write your response instead, brat,” she said with a sigh. She picked up the letter and held it out in front of her sleeping swine. The tiny pig snuffled awake; its beady eyes blinking once, twice, before righting itself on its cushion. It took the letter between its teeth and began to chew.
When she had finished and the letter was no more, Lady Tsunade gave her another scritch beneath the sow’s chin. “Lest your husband-to-be take offense to the shitty chicken scratch you call penmanship and looks to seek an alliance with another kingdom in retribution.”
Shikaku chuckled, hiding his grin behind his fist as he said off-handedly, "I hear the Queen of Mizu is still in want of a husband.”
“I will be sure to follow your advice, Your Majesty,” Kakashi said as he gave a bow to both his Soverign and her Commander. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to do as I’m sure you can imagine; a reply to send and a journey to plan.” He turned on his heel and made a beeline towards the door, desperate to end this nightmare of an interaction with at least some semblance of poise.
“Oh, speaking of—another word of advice, Lord Hatake,” Shikaku called out just as Kakashi placed a gloved hand over the door handle. He closed his eyes and swore to himself as the Commander continued, “take it from me when I say that the way to a wilful heart is one paved with patience; but should you persevere, you may find that what the heart you once thought was wilful is perhaps more willing than you had first believed.”
Not wanting to give his mouth a chance to betray him any more than it had already, Kakashi simply gave the Commander a taut nod in thanks, twisted the door handle and left the room without uttering another word.