Chapter Text
In his defense, Dick didn’t set out to ruin the Saitama City Police Department’s night. Cross his heart he didn't. That was meant for tomorrow's agenda. He actually started the evening by trying to be an upstanding citizen! He looked both ways before crossing streets, even!
Stopping a crime or twelve had, naturally, been the plan, but “stealing” the credit for capturing a particularly elusive burglar from a local hero who would then harass the police about catching the “no good vigilante menace” was not.
The hero didn't even see him! Dick left the burglar bundled up in the back of an alley! If the burglar then decided to shout to everyone who'd listen how “The Robin got me! It was The Robin and he wasn't no kid, you hear me?! This bozo police officer couldn't catch a flea hanging off his nose, don't you put me on the record as getting caught by him! I've got a reputation to maintain ya know!” then that's between them. Very between them. Sounds personal, so they should keep it between their own two persons.
If he spends the rest of the night apprehending criminals in exactly the same manner, well. Never let it be said that Dick lets opportunities to capitalize on a circumstance pass him by. He'll keep to this pattern until it's his turn to play backseat, and then never pick it up again.
Or do it for a few days at a time randomly? If they're really stuck here for three years, maybe twice a year? Genuinely random. He can ask Stephany to draw month and week numbers out of a hat. She'd appreciate being included in the theatrics.
“Wasn't the plan for Steph, and only Steph, to establish civilian contact as The Robin tonight?”
Dick shrugged. He pulled his whole body into the motion, the lift of his shoulders carrying up into his neck followed by a rocking fall back down to his ankles and toes.
“You know that plans are just suggestions, Tim. I say I stumbled into the vague shape of ours well enough, so let's not worry on the details.”
“Purse-snatcher incoming. Two blocks to your left and you'll be right on top of them.”
“Nice. Leave him there. Police patrol car should spot him in fifteen.”
“Red, switch with Hood now. Spoiler and Robin, switch in an hour and thirty three minutes. I'll let you know when.”
“Nuh uh. Go back towards the corner store and circle back towards the road. That's definitely an undergounder just out of sight back there. Dramatic yet practical cape and mask and everything. Points for functionality but in the negatives for stylistic flair and the lack thereof.”
“Attention everyone: Spoiler has spent the last hour stockpiling glitter and confetti. Be afraid. Snitch!? Did you just call me a snitch? Excuse you, my current job is keeping everyone updated on anything and everything I find relevant to our collective and individual continued wellbeing. That is distinct from snitching!”
“You're about to move into an unnaturally large blind spot, Hood. Take care.”