Chapter Text
Takemichi panted as he clutched his heart, again and again. The fabric wrinkled, as it got wrapped around his fingers more and more. His back was being patted by Kokonoi, who was trying to do anything—something to bring the boy some comfort and preferably stop the panic attacks coming in. He had to be honest, he wasn't that big on comforting–because he doesn't know how to do it. The people in his life brag to him all about his life, and all he can do is….
“Takemichi…Takemichi! Are you hearing me! Breath! Breath okay! Don't –” Koko’s ears fell on deaf ears, as Takemichi doesn't really get much better. The yelling that was coming from the other room was also really–vulgar.
Koko for a lack of a better word was shocked to see Kazutora, screaming and yelling. This made Takemichi feel even worse. Kokonoi slapped his forehead.
He is so bad at this. But, he needs to try.
“Okay Takemichi? What kind of size do you like?” Koko asked, all of a sudden.
Takemichi stopped panting and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Sweat dripped from his forehead, anxiety bedridden, and the whole atmosphere felt extra chill today for both of them.
“What…size?” Takemichi asks, innocently, and Kokonoi just chuckles, embracing him in a hug. He is indeed very happy that, Takemichi somehow managed to break out, without causing havoc.
Damn…Does that mean he's getting better at comforting people?
“Don't know, chest size?.... Dick size ?” He exclaimed, half chuckling, half breathing loud. His hands went on to grab Takemichi’s shoulders tight as he held him closer. Takemichi just chuckled at that.
Inui did most of the comforting, because despite being blunt he is way too honest with his feelings, whereas he can't seem to know what his emotions even are. He is so bad. Koko sometimes wants to squish the hell out of his man, because of how straightforward he can be. His stupid emerald orbs, and blond hair, made his cheeks darkened with blush, and he can't even help it.
He sighs, exaggerated. What a man.
Meanwhile, Takemichi was still panting, but a soft smile, curled up on his face. His sapphire blue eyes decapitate the sadness behind those onyx eyes. It was like a contrast too. A good contrast.
“Really…Koko?” Takemichi asks, half chuckling, half groaning, “I was having flashbacks, and you were thinking about being gay?” Takemichi added. The whole atmosphere felt giddy now.
Much to Koko’s misery.
“What was I supposed to do? I needed to distract you a bit…but I suppose it got better, when you actually calmed down a bit” Koko murmured, “and…I know, i shouldn't ask but if those memories are too painful–
“No…its fine, the past haunts me sometimes…but then I look at my friends and I feel good…” Takemichi spoke with an emotion mixed with Melancholy, and nostalgia. The past haunts the narrator sometimes too. And regardless, of the actions committed in the past, trauma can't be undone. It's something that stays with you.
“Thank god…and I don't want you to panic more–”
“What was that voice?” Takemichi asks, cutting him, and Koko mentally curses life. He doesn't want to stress the blond male as it is. He closes his eyes, and presses his chin, thinking.
And, he reckoned, his hands brushing his hair towards his side. Having stylish hair can be tough as hell when you aren't in your comfort space.
“Takemichi–” Koko said, as he opened his eyes only to find Takemichi missing from his place.
Yes, what did he even expect? Of course Takemichi is going to do what he does best. Tenacity to suffer through never-ending misery!
Koko sighs, again and quickly steps outside the room, to find Takemichi calming down a very–very deranged individual. That individual is someone Koko doesn't want to trust. How Takemichi manages to put faith in the other person. He doesn't know.
He really doesn't know.
“Kazutora…please,...it's fine, I know you're hurt, and I can't undo it, but I don't want you to think you're alone” Takemichi consoled, his voice coming out soft and gentle. Almost as though he was cradling a child.
“Fuck off–” Kazutora pushed him away to curl himself up in a corner, his eyes looking distraught, and his hands moving up to his hair. “It's not my f-fault…fuck…I don't know whose fault is this even…” His heart was pounding against his chest, and the sheer headache was making him mad and deranged. It wasn't as though he was a bad person, right? The villain remains the villain if the story is being told by the hero.
Hina and Inui who were standing beside him before were now with Takemichi, both of them confused and worried.
“What do we do now..?” Hina asked, a frown settling on her lips. She really wants to help, but the utter look on the other's eyes was scaring her.
Inui patted Hina’s back, and Koko just stood in the back, his eyes looking uninterested.
“Listen here guys….I need you three to go to my room, and sit there for a while…” Takemichi said, his tone was slightly authoritative. It's the one you would miss, if you didn't know him, he was just that kind of person. Tenacity is his middle name.
But they both knew the tone, it was meant for the people he cherished.
And even though Inui wanted to argue, he chose to give Takemichi the liberty to make both good and bad decisions as the Leader.
Precautions be damned.
“Fine”
“Takemichi we will be here”
“Don't do anything stupid”
We all know who spoke what, but Takemichi nods a single time–his eyes determined, and confident, as he turns his head up. His eyes–sapphire-like looked at those big Liquid yellow ones that stood out like a cat. Those eyes reeked of darkness, grief and a prolonged sadness enveloped themselves in them.
Tears were painstakingly falling down his cheeks, and eyelids were tattered with soaked tears, and eyes widened–broad–like a cat’s pupils. His hands pulled his own hair, rough, and unkind. Takemichi took a moment to scan the situation.
He has never seen him like this before.
In the past, he remembers Kazutora smiling at him, with his hair long, and luscious, unwavering–as they added more to his beauty. His pupils, shaken then, were determined, trained and kind. He looked gentle then.
Now it was the opposite. The pupils hinted at shattered broken pieces of a mirror, who no longer desired to be alive.
But that doesn't mean this old envelope can't be tainted with the same blood. The new him and the old him, started out the same.
He breathes out, lightly inhaling then exhaling, and slowly again, took a step towards him. The dual haired male, shivered, his mouth spatting out God knows what cuss words, and empty threats–Takemichi doesn't want to listen to them–he wants to listen to his feelings, not the delusional and egoistic mask he has set up for himself.
And if he really wants his friends to live—or at least be alive together in at least one timeline, he needs to get his shit together.
He has gone through so much, he can go through this.
He couldn't see his back, but he knew Inui and Hina were peeking through the window or at least from the door, because he could hear a faint gasp. Koko wouldn't peek, because he knew it is a lost cause–convincing him to not do something he wants to do is a lost cause.
“Kazutora…listen” Takemichi whispers, as though something loud enough would just break something fragile. He crouched, slowly walking towards Kazutora, his black hair was a bit unruly towards his side, but the dual haired male spared not a single glance towards him, face stranded away.
“You’re hurting yourself like this…remember when I told you to give your friends a second chance?” Takemichi asks, much like a loving parent, and the gentle tone made Kazutora a bit shocked. His eyes full of distraught had confusion hanging up on them.
“I re-remember…and I-i did give my friends…or at least…them a chance” Kazutora sluttered, and it made his jaw clenched. He shouldn't be this weak.
He curses himself.
“Oh…you mean…them?” Takemichi smiles, and then draws his arms out, lifting them till they touch his face, “Why not you give us too?” The voice came out soft, and gentle, again. Inui wondered how he was able to do that.
Does he not get angry?
“Everyone makes mistakes…I do too…so does Hina, koko, Inupi…everyone..but the only thing that matters is what you learn from them..” Takemichi crouches down, sitting in front of him, as though he was showing the others that he was not backing down. “...And I won't be angry, if you show your true self here..I have seen it all anyways…and i believe in you…and I know you can't see yourself fully right now, and everything seems hollow, but I promise I will do my best to help you out…so please..just let us help you”
Kazutora rubbed his tears with the end of his sleeve, and liquid yellow eyes stared down at the floor, contemplating. Takemichi, draws his hand and lifts them over Kazutora‘s shoulders, squeezing them, as he lifts his chin up.
The dual haired male, who was crying a few moments before, tugged his face up, and now up close Takemichi could see bandages and gauges wrapped around his neck, and collarbones, which were hidden under the harmless garment–he felt his muscles tense at that.
Damn it…Valhalla.
Takemichi clenched his muscles, and tightened his jaws slightly, then released the tension soon, so as to not make the other stressed.
He draws his arms through his neck, Kazutora sat frozen, his big yellow eyes stared at him, with a hint of uncertainty, pain slipping in slowly.
“Everything is fine…” Kazutora managed a few words out, coherent, and stable.
Takemichi merely breathes out, shaking the dual haired male, slightly before pulling him in close, clutching him hard. He needs a hug too, and the other probably needed it too.
“I know Everything’s not fine” Takemichi mumbles, breath heaving up and down.
“But I am sure we will make everything alright” Takemichi again murmurs, and Kazutora feels a smile chasing his face. He gives in, and although the expression looks a bit deranged from Hina’s point of view, Takemichi is relieved to see the other a bit stable, more stable than before.
“And I think we need to work on throwing blame on others and the importance of introspection” Takemichi adds, then again, presses his hand to the crook of the nose, “You understand, Kazutora, and this time you are free to make mistakes, but you have to actually give a chance to listen to others”
“You are gonna tell us about time leaping or not?” Kazutora asks, then Takemichi feels a lump in his throat, which he swallowed fast since he knew his friends were still there.
“How about I tell you my plan for Bloody Halloween?” Takemichi whispered and Kazutora felt his gut twisted in his stomach.
Takemichi has a “what” now ?
*
Kazutora listened. He really listened to someone like this for the first time. The future, the past and the present simultaneously made him crazy, and when Takemichi mentioned that he thought he might have something going on with Chifuyu after….Baji’s death, which in itself was something that made the dual haired male want to commit a suicide attempt.
And also, the fact that he had something going on with Baji’s possible lover?
Disgusting.
Although Takemichi told him it happened in that specific timeline, he just can't digest the fact that so many things happened, including the deaths.
Kazutora would never have believed him..but again, Takemichi brings out questions and their answers that he can't possibly argue at. Especially their past, the past between all of them and what had happened. It was supposed to be something they all owe in their memories, but it seems Takemichi knew them from Baji.
The purple charm that held each of their hearts was a symbol not many knew.
Again, Takemichi knew that meant he had done this many times already.
Kazutora felt a hollow feeling in his stomach, bile threatened to spill out from his stomach but he deliberately ignored it. Maybe he's just defective, the one that should have been gone–dead long ago.
He brushes his hand through the bruises blossoming underneath the garment, and feels his eyelids droopy–the pain tainted in his soul can't be gone so soon after all.
At least he could help this time.
Right?
“It feels…” Koko mutters, “...a bit weird,” he adds.
“Why?” Inui asks, and Takemichi nods back, asking him the same question. Hinata, who had heard the tale before, just looks at the dual haired male, with an accusatory stare.
“No bad feelings…but you are gonna be fighting Valhalla…right? In like two days!? And literally there is a division captain sitting right in front of you…” Koko’s words made Takemichi a bit self aware, but at the same time, he just blinked and tilted his head.
“So?” Takemichi asks, then, and it makes Kazutora flinch slightly.
He believes in…me? Or rather…
“So!? Are you kidding me…Takemichi!” Koko presses the crook of his forehead as though he is having a migraine, “Do you really think your plan is going to work?” Koko yelled, deadpanned, and Kazutora had to say, the man has a point.
And the point is definitely something one should consider, but at this moment, Kazutora doesn't know what is good for him.
“Listen here…we need to get Kisaki injured…or maybe just kill him…but the main or sole aim is to just not let anyone kill anyone, and escape the brawl safe and sound” Takemichi explains, and Kazutora wants to snort, because if Takemichi had told him these same words many months ago, then he would laughed at his place.
Called him weak, and pathetic.
But right now, things were really hectic, and he had acquired the sane level of understanding these days.
It was scary honestly. What Takemichi could achieve with a person.
Takemichi breathes out, shaking slightly, and sapphire eyes glimmering with sparkle. “I also have a few things I haven't told you…all of you i mean” Takemichi muttered out, he has been giving hints, but it seems no one really understood it.
“What is it?” Inupi asked, and Hinata too looked at him with a look of concern, he doesn't blame her, because if he were in her place he would be too. Koko looked at him, silently listening. Kazutora muttered something under his breath, most likely frustrated.
“I–i well..I know this might come out weird, but I have been giving signs…and…it's just that..” Takemichi sighs, heavy, more like an uninviting afterthought he announced, “I could talk with Shinichiro but–”
The whole room went silent.
Their breaths stopped, and eyes twitched with something that was strange. It felt alien in a sense. Hina was a bit spooked, Inui and Koko looked bewildered and Kazutora…well, he became frozen in his place. The goosebumps were like a fish caught red handed near a predator’s mouth.
“You could talk with whom…?” Inui said, bewilderment hovering up his face. He can't say he's happy but he can't say he's sad either. Because it's been long since he has mourned over the death of someone he considered his big brother. He thought he had moved on.
At least that's what he thought.
Grief comes in different stages, sometimes it's the yelling, the denial, the bewilderment, creasing of the eyebrows, hands shoved in a fist, clenching shut as the person shouts trying to change fate using only the vibrations of the throat. It's truly the most painful but fast stage of the cycle. Next comes acceptance, which stings like a slow poison slowly devouring you whole. Some recover, while some disappear.
“Take-takemichi…? Did Shin..” Kazutora trails off, face guilt stricken. For some reason, the emptiness increased, and he can't seem to put his finger on it. Was he always this pathetic? He thinks as he feels a shiver running down his spine. Takemichi could actually talk with Shinichiro.
Why doesn't he hate me then?
Why didn't he…
Words don't seem to matter much now.
“Did he suggest something..?” Hinata spoke, meddling from the sad grief stricken atmosphere towards a talking one. The slip end almost caught the others off guard. Koko doesn't know what to expect. Shinichiro is a well known figure in the delinquent society. The weak king.
But he knows the Weak king isn't that weak. If he was able to thrash the White leopard and the Big Giant boxer like a hand me down kitten, then surely he had strength.
And besides Takemichi is strong too, maybe even stronger.
“Well, he told me to…” Takemichi contemplates for just a moment, “..fight Mikey”
The room goes dead silent.
Almost too silent.
“And how the hell are you gonna achieve that?!” Inui shouts in the middle, his eyebrows furrowing, and fists clenched.
That is a valid response.
Takemichi thinks, as he sees Hinata, Koko and Kazutora looking at him with a scary glare that could have melted mountains.
“Inui…please calm down—”
“How the fuck am I supposed to calm myself, when you're talking about getting yourself another trip to the hospital!?” Inui yelled again, stepping closer, towering over the black haired male.
Another beat of silence.
“I won't lose..Inui” The sapphire shimmers then. In a way Inui had never seen. It was just like the glare that Takemichi gave to Taiju.
Right, Taiju.
“What are you gonna do about Taiju? Then” Inui asks, and Takemichi sighs, his sapphire brimming up to the surface yet again.
His hands brush through his black hair, and Hinata blushes for a moment.
“He looks…cool” She thinks for a moment, admiring the view. Then, she drags her eyes to Kazutora.
He gives her a brief nod, and Hinata just raises a brow and looks back at Takemichi.
Kazutora doesn't as much as blink, because what the hell is he supposed to do at this point? The previous conversation was coming in his mind, and he completely became flushed.
Dragging his hair through the white parts of his hair, he drags his eyes down, shifts his face towards the floor. Ashamed probably. But he doesn't know whether it was the stare or the nostalgia itself.
“Fine then, be my guest in being a loser!!” Inui presses his lips in a thin line, and thumps his leg on the floor once as though he was making a declaration.
“Inui!” Takemichi shouts again.
This time Inui shuts his eyes and curves his smile in a pout.
“I can do it…but I will need all of your help! I know alone I can't do much, but..” Takemichi stops abruptly, his sapphire dull.
Inui looks at him. Then, averting his gaze and noticing the dull gaze towards the floor, he throws away the anger, and heads towards him.
“You know we are not gonna leave you right?” Inui says, and although he doesn't know it. It calms Takemichi down slightly. The face of his loved ones burning down, and being murdered…is much more traumatic and anxiety inducing.
“Thanks…Inui..but I just don't want you all to die again…” Takemichi spelled out, each monosyllable slow and unsteady. His words made sense but the voice cracking hit them.
Hinata couldn't stop her tears, she quickly ran towards Takemichi and hugged him. Kazutora who was sitting on the floor, gaze empty, too went towards him, embracing them both in a hug. Koko flinched looking at the opposition leader, but he too relaxed and they both exchanged tiring stares as they leaned in together.
“You know it's quite endearing” Koko followed the conversation then, leaving Takemichi to look at him up.
“What?”
“Your desire”
*