Chapter Text
When two weeks went by, and he still hadn't received a postcard, Regulus started to worry.
By the third week, he started to panic.
He didn't remember if James had said anything when he left or even much at all about the vampire's departure; blood loss will do that to you.
But he did remember the bite.
He couldn't forget it if he tried.
Regulus remembered being pulled into James' lap and pressed close to him. He remembered the involuntary groan that had torn its way out of his throat at the sensation. He remembered feeling James reciprocate by groaning into his neck as well. He remembered shifting his hips before he could stop himself and then hands on his hip, encouraging him to keep going. He remembered panting and groaning until he started feeling dizzy.
But then all he remembered was waking up the next morning, tucked into bed, the world spinning.
There was no note on his table, no record of the vampire ever being there aside from the bite marks. Nearly perfectly on top of the scars from his previous bites, just underneath where his usual shirts cover.
All he had were his memories. Memories that he only let wash over him when he was alone in his bed.
So by week three, with no contact and only his memory of their last meeting, he was certainly freaking out.
Had he pushed it too hard? James had seemed into it, too. Yet as the days dragged on with his mailbox devoid of a postcard, Regulus couldn't help but worry he had ruined it somehow.
But all he could do was wait.
Everything he did felt like a failed attempt at distraction. Drawing for his illustration job, going to class, hanging out with his friends, and even reading his favorite books. It was getting harder to focus, harder to lose himself.
His mind just kept wandering back to James.
…
Regulus didn't even use Reddit anymore.
He didn't know what compelled him to open his account, but the unread message was in his inbox when he opened it.
Leave him alone.
The account that sent it already deactivated.
It felt like a threat.
…
"Reg?" Barty waved a hand in front of his face, trying to get his attention.
Regulus's head snapped up. His mind had wandered for the 5th time that evening.
Barty and Evan exchanged a look. "Dude, I know you said you're ok, but…." Evan trailed off.
Regulus looked at them for a moment. Trying to decide how to respond.
He took a deep breath, and then, everything came out. He told them how he had searched so much for the vampire that the vampire had found him again, though he decided to omit the threatening DMs as they didn't seem relevant. He told them how two meetings had turned into three. He also told how he had convinced James to visit him in exchange for not looking for him in the dead of night. How he invited the vampire into his home, and got to ask him questions in exchange for telling about himself. And then, after a breath, explained how their last meeting had gone and how it had ended. "And now it's been over three weeks. This is the longest he's gone without visiting, let alone sending a postcard."
His best friends stared at him for a solid 10 seconds as they processed what he had been keeping from them for months now.
"Ok, so first of all, I absolutely called that whatever you weren't telling us had to do with that bloodsucker." Barty put out there, raising his hands.
"And I get why you felt the need to hide it since your ass was being fucking reckless." Evan inserted.
"I knew I could get closer to him; I just didn't want you guys telling me it wouldn't work and it would get me killed." Regulus sighed.
"Didn't you literally just tell us your vampire fuck buddy saved you from some dark creature?" Evan asked incredulously.
"That's not… the point was he kept me safe." Regulus sighed.
"Ok, so objectively, no, that was dumb, and you better not die because then I have to become a fucking monster slayer to avenge your death, and I have enough on my fucking plate right now." Barty asserted, "I might have enabled your stupid decisions if you had told me before."
Regulus sighed, "ok, but all that's done. It's in the past. The problem now is I might have scared him off."
"You might have scared off the creature that could, at any second, fully control your actions and then drain you like a pool?" Regulus gave him a look, and Evan backtracked, "ok, clearly you have feelings for him, but that doesn't change the fact that his sustenance runs through your veins." Evan argued.
"Evan, I think he's far past logic. You might as well drop it," Barty waved off his boyfriend. "Listen, Regulus. You didn't scare him off. He scared himself off."
"… how?" Regulus asked.
"Clearly, this man has some sort of complex from being a hot monster for over 100 years. He was probably holding back because he didn't want to get attached but failed, and then when he was sucking your neck, he probably popped a boner, and it fucking scared him. …If vampires can even do that."
"They can." Evan and Regulus said at the same time.
Suddenly, all eyes are on Evan. "I took a class about the biological functions of monsters." Evan defended, "Vampires, as former humans, can still do all the biological functions they were able to when they turned, but they shoot blanks, and it's harder to get it up if they're thirsty. But I sure wish I knew because I had grinded on a vampire like you did."
"Oh really? You want to grind on a vampire now?" Barty asked.
"Can we please get back to the point?" Regulus sighed.
After one more look at Evan, Barty turned back to Regulus: "The point is, he needs to work through his own shit. It might take time, but it seems to me like that man can't stay away from you. So I have a feeling he won't stay away for much longer."
"Well, I hope you're right."
...
He started having trouble sleeping.
Sometimes, he tossed and turned, unable to calm his thoughts. His mind not drifting off to sleep until he got up to check his mailbox one more time.
When he did manage to drift off, there were the nightmares. In some of them, he was being attacked by Demons and werewolves and whatever else his mind could come up with, and James was trying to save him but couldn't get through. In others, it's James being attacked. They're tearing him apart, and Regulus can do nothing to stop it.
And every time he wakes up from one of the latter, panting and shaking, he's struck with the reminder that he wouldnt even know if James was killed. He had no way to find out if something had happened to him. For all Regulus knew, he could have been killed the day after they had last been together. James would just never return, and Regulus would have to forget about him.
He didn't often fall back asleep after that.
...
He had waited a full month when he heard a knock at the door.
It was 3 am.
Regulus wasn't sleeping, not from lack of trying. Despite it being extremely late, he was too desperate not to get up to see who it was.
And when he saw through the peephole the vampire he had been desperately waiting for standing on the other side, he couldn't open the door fast enough.
James stepped inside without a word, and they both let the door close on its own with a slam, looking at each other but not saying a word. James reached over and flicked the lock without breaking eye contact, even now concerned about safety.
Regulus didn't know what he expected, but the long moment of silence certainly wasn't on that list. James seemed to be working up the nerve to say something, and when it finally came out, it was quiet and desperate, "Regulus… What do you want from me? Really?"
Regulus took a second to articulate his answer, "I… I don't want to be a stranger."
"… what?" James asked.
"We've had a connection since we first met. You kept coming back despite saying I'd never see you again. I want you to stop pretending I'm a stranger."
"…you haven't been a stranger in some time."
"Then why are you holding back?"
James held his gaze for a long moment, "If I weren't a vampire, would you want the same things?"
"If you weren't a vampire, you would have died in the 1900s."
"Regulus," James said sternly, clearly not in the mood for jokes.
Regulus took a deep breath and answered honestly, "This is not just about the blood-sucking thing, though I suppose I have to admit I am a little too much into that." Regulus shrugged, not lingering, "You give your money to random people you inconvenience by feeding on them, you travel around the world at the drop of a hat to help your friends, you saved my life from… something after only have met me twice, and you made a promise to essentially a stranger to keep meeting with them so they wouldn't put their life in danger. That, combined with being unfairly attractive, you being a vampire is an afterthought."
"Except it's very much not an afterthought-"
"James." It was Regulus's turn to sternly stop the other for nitpicking.
James sighed, then took a step closer and half-whispered, "I don't know if I believe you."
"Then hear it directly from my head." Regulus said without hesitation, "I give you permission."
"Regulus-"
"Shut up and listen to my thoughts." Regulus snapped, and despite the look James gave him, seconds later, he could feel it.
He wasn't frozen in place or compelled to move, but he could feel the presence in his mind since he was waiting for it.
He assumed he didn't need to think out each word individually, so instead, he thought about how he felt when James was there, how he felt every time he received a postcard, and how he felt after the vampire left. James' face was carefully blank as he processed the information. Regulus then focused his thoughts on the last time James was there, on what little memories he had from the end of that interaction. He watched James's face, and he kept it painfully blank until Regulus started thinking about the last month. He watched the vampire's mouth tense as he thought of the nightmares, the worries for his safety, and the worries that he had fucked up.
"Ok, that's enough." James suddenly said, and Regulus could feel that he had left his head.
Somehow, after that, James still seemed conflicted. Regulus, deciding that being bold was all he could do left, took a few steps till he was a breath away from him. "James, I don't care about all the extra stuff. I. Want. You."
One moment, he was standing a breath away from James, his declaration barely leaving his lips, and the next, he was in James' arms, the lips he felt on his neck, finally on his.
The kiss was intense. When Regulus finally pulled back to take a breath, he felt as if he had been running for hours and not just making out for a few minutes. James' mouth moved down his jaw since he didn't have the same issue of needing air in his lungs. Regulus briefly thought about what if he bit down, but dismissed it.
He wanted to remember every second of this.
That, however, brought another thought to his head.
"James," he pleaded, pulling James off his neck and pressing his forehead against the other man's, "are you going to leave again?"
He watched James' eyes, incredibly close to his, register his fear, "not the same way I have been."
That would clearly require further conversation, but that was enough for right now.
His breath significantly caught, he leaned back in to continue.
…
Regulus woke up with a start.
He was terrified for a brief moment that everything was a dream. Thankfully, the arm that wouldn't let him sit up immediately brought him back to reality. "Good morning, baby."
Regulus melted back into his spot, tucked into James' arms. "Mmm. Baby?" He mumbled sleepily.
"Yes. If that's ok?"
"It's more than ok," Regulus assured as he snuggled further in, if that was even possible. James just felt warm against his back. He didn't feel like he was radiating his own heat, more like the spot on your bed that you've been sleeping in is warm after you've gotten up. And Regulus could stay in this spot forever. "What time is it?"
"One pm," James said casually.
Regulus nodded, but then the words registered in his head, and he bolted into a sitting position, the vampire's arm falling to his side "Oh fuck!"
"Did you have something to do this morning?" James asked mildly as Regulus jumped out of bed.
"Yes. My business class!" Regulus sighed, "You let me sleep through my alarm?"
"No alarm went off," James defended. Regulus found his phone on his desk, dead. He sighed and sat at his desk, opening up his laptop and going straight to his email. "Was missing this one class detrimental to your grade?"
"No. I'm never later than 20 minutes early to any of my classes." Regulus replies as he starts writing an email to his professor, "But there was an assignment due that has to be submitted before class starts if you don't hand it in physically."
"I'm guessing you didn't send it in last night?" James asked, sitting up fully.
"He prefers it printed. He only really wants you to email it if you can't access a printer in time or can't come in." Regulus explained. He finished his apologetic email with the assignment attached. And sent it with a sigh. "He usually doesn't accept late work, but I'm hoping we have a good enough rapport that he will accept it. Even though it will probably be with a deduction."
"In your body's defense, you clearly needed the sleep." James supplied.
Regulus turned to him with a glare that was more fondness than actual anger. "I haven't been sleeping very well recently."
He saw James' face fall a little at that, "yeah. I'm sorry."
"Are you really?" Regulus asked, getting up from the chair and walking back to the bed.
"Incredibly so," James reassured, though the growing smile on his face proved that he could see where this was going.
Regulus climbed onto the bed and straddled James' lap, a matching smile on his face. "Then prove it."
…
This time, when they were finished, there was no crushing exhaustion, causing Regulus to fall right asleep.
He lay there for a moment, letting himself go back into his body.
It's James who moves first and breaks the silence. "I think," he sat up, "We should play our question game again."
Regulus snorted, sitting up himself, "Should we now?"
"Yes." James said simply, "But this time, no backing out of answering. You can't ask for a new question."
"You do realize you used that far more than I did?" Regulus questioned.
James chuckled, "I certainly did. So, would you be willing?"
"Ok. I go first," Regulus agreed.
James seemed amused but unsurprised, "As you wish."
He thought about it for a moment. He had so many questions, many denied over the past meetings. And many more he hadn't asked because he knew they would be denied. Finally, he decided to start from the beginning. "Why did you come back the first time after telling me I would never see you again?"
James blew out a breath at that, "ok, yeah, honesty." He took another deep breath, and Regulus was momentarily distracted by the logistics of a creature that didn't need to breathe, taking a deep one to think, "I… couldn't get you out of my mind. Which isn't entirely unusual. Every once in a while, a particularly intriguing human would pique my interest. However, I had sworn to stop letting my… interest get me in trouble. I was trying to forget about you, but a friend of mine found your posts asking about me and warned me. I shouldn't have come in person to warn you to stop. But I was presented with the opportunity to come to London, and… I couldn't help myself." Regulus barely had long enough to process that information before James spoke again, "What happened with your family?"
Now, it was Regulus' turn to take a deep, steadying breath. "Me and my brother Sirius both left our parents, and are no longer in contact with them by choice." Regulus wanted to end it there, but after taking another breath, he knew he shouldn't. James explained more than the question asked, and the whole point of this was to be completely honest with each other. "My parents were raised at a time, and in an environment, where the child follows the exact plan the parents make for them. Think high society, incredibly wealthy business owners who raise children to keep their businesses in the family." James nodded, and Regulus could see sympathy in his eyes; Regulus looked down so he could continue. "They never hit us or anything, I'm even pretty sure they loved us. The problem is they didn't want us to be our own people. In their world, you show your children love by giving them a well-planned, comfortable life. Which isn't what either of us wanted. Sirius had it worse because he was older and had more expectations. I could at least see how our parents reacted to rebellion from my brother. We both left at 18, but we're two years apart, so I had two years of having to face my parents' expectations alone. I think my leaving hurt them more because I was better at pretending than Sirius ever was." He took another deep breath and was almost shocked to realize it was shaky. "Sirius and I are kind of … fighting right now, though. I haven't talked to him in over a month." He took another moment to gather himself and, a little thrown off from his emotional reaction to the question, just blurted out, "Tell me about your family?"
James nodded, "I was an only child. My parents were the best parents one could ask for. They had me older in life than most, and then both passed away from sickness the year before I was turned. We didn't have a big family. They were both only children and from old money at the time, so I suppose Ancient money now. I may have a distant cousin or two somewhere, as I think my great-grandparents on both sides had more than one child, but I've never found them." He explained, "My question. Did you fight with you're brother about me?"
Regulus was flabbergasted by this choice of question, "Are you really going to waste your question on that?" James just nodded, waiting expectantly. Regulus wanted to be more indignant, even refuse to answer. But reluctantly, he spoke, "It's my fault for how I handled it. I told him about you when we met the first time, and they started getting weird about it the more I talked about and drew you, so even when we met again and then again and again, I hid it from him. He…saw my sketchbook. The one I showed you. He freaked out, and I didn't exactly explain calmly. I haven't spoken to him since. His boyfriend has checked in a few times, so I know he's alive. But that's about it."
"Are you two usually the type to argue, or was this a new experience?"
"We spent pretty much my first two years after I left arguing. It's part of the reason I live in this shitty apartment. It's all I could afford, and if I lived with him any longer, I would have ripped his head off. He… tries to over-correct for our parents' mistakes. It took him a while to realize I don't need guidance; I need support. We've gotten better, but this situation was the worst by far. The only way I can imagine diffusing this is by telling him that I'll stop and forget about you, but I think lying will bite me in the ass."
"You could let me talk to him?" James shrugged.
"Yeah, right." Regulus scoffed.
"I'm unsure of why you have so little faith in my abilities to charm someone." James raised an eyebrow.
"You don't know my brother."
"Would he show up with a vampire slayer?"
"Of course not."
"Then I can handle him."
"…Could you not handle a vampire slayer?"
"Of course, I could. I have. I would just prefer not to. It always gets messy."
…
They continued asking questions while Regulus prepared himself some food. "Why is it that every time you've come before, you've had to leave to catch a plane after a few hours, but this time, you don't seem to be in a rush at all?" Regulus asked.
"Well... I've been specifically coming to London before planned trips that I cannot easily change. Giving myself very limited time, therefore forcing our interactions to be limited."
Regulus paused where he was assembling his sandwich "… you could have also just lied that you had to leave. I never would have questioned you."
"… it was not to prevent you from prolonging our interactions."
"Oh."
"What did you hope to accomplish by searching for me on the internet?"
Regulus let out a nervous chuckle. Grabbing a mug from the cabinet and putting the kettle on. "Well, I noticed you were different. I had hoped someone else had noticed. I was as drawn to you as you were to me. I just didn't have any way to find you. So I did the only thing I could." Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, "You said your friend saw my posts. Were they the ones who messaged me?"
James looked a bit sheepish, "Yes. A very old friend of mine. Another vampire." He sighed, "She's been with me through a lot. Including the times that made me promise to myself not to mess with humans anymore." He chuckled, "Clearly, I'm not good at keeping promises to myself."
Regulus's next words spilled out before he could second-guess himself, "Or you could just turn me? Then you wouldn't be messing with a human."
James actually laughed at that, "So we are really taking the plot from Twilight?"
"What if I'm not joking?"
"Then you should be."
"Now, obviously, I don't know for sure, but I can make an educated guess that the reasons you don't want to mess with humans anymore would be non-existent if you turned them."
"I've made my peace with my broken promise."
"James." Regulus sighed.
"Regulus." James parroted back. "What makes you think you want to be a vampire anyway?"
"Aside from the fact that I would die of old age and leave you alone again in 50 or so years?"
"Regulus, in the big scheme of things, we've only just met! You're just getting to know me. And it's gonna take a lot more than a few Q&A sessions before you will even begin to know who I am enough to make an informed choice to roam the earth eternally with me."
"Fine. So one day, after I've known you long enough, would you?"
"…Maybe. If you still want to."
…
Aside from a few checks of his email to make sure he wasn't missing something important, he spent the rest of the day with the vamp- his vampire.
They alternated between asking questions, getting lost in topics, and rolling around in Regulus's bed, doing all the things he had fantasized about (minus the blood-drinking, as it wasn't the time for that).
A little while after the sun went down, Regulus noticed James checking the clock. "Do you have to leave?" He asked, sitting up at the headboard.
"Not yet, but soon," James admitted, sitting up beside him.
"So what did you mean when you said you wouldn't leave the same way you did before?" Regulus asked.
"I'll give you a way to contact me."
"Like an address to send letters to?"
"I have an email."
Regulus couldn't help the laugh that burst out of his lips, "Oh, do you now?"
"Regulus, I tried, ok." James sighed, "For decades, I have prided myself on keeping up with the ever-changing world. And when the internet started taking off, I was all about it. I even had one of the very first cell phones. And one of the very first smart ones."
"So what happened?"
"Primarily, cell phones, especially the ones around now, can be very easily used against you. As a vampire, I don't need the government being able to track me."
"I suppose that makes sense." Regulus acquiesced.
"And don't get me started on social media. It's done so much good for some things and so much bad for others. I've decided I don't need it." James explained, "Email is the only thing I need. It's the best way to communicate."
"Is it?"
"Regulus, I want you to picture this. When I grew up, if you wanted to communicate with someone not living near you, you had to know someone's location and someone going to that location. They had a post system, but if you sent a letter and someone wasn't there to receive it, or something urgent took them from home, you would never know. Depending on where they lived, it might take weeks to reach them. Imagine you had something very important to tell someone in the next village, and a werewolf ate the courier on its way, knocking your letter in the river?"
"Ok, I get it. By email, you can be reached anywhere you have a device and an internet connection." Regulus agreed before he could continue his 'back in my day.' "But you don't have a phone or device you keep with you. How do you check your email?"
"Easily. Often, I'm staying with or near a friend, so I borrow one of their devices, but when I'm not, I can use public libraries, computer cafes, or one of those iPads at the Apple Store."
Regulus pushed down the chuckle from the surprisingly funny image of James trying to quickly and slyly check and respond to emails in the middle of an Apple Store." And what if you're not with a friend and you need to check your email at night when the rest of those places are closed?"
James hesitated, "I mean, thats a rare scenario, but I have my ways."
"Have you ever used a victim's phone while they were incapacitated?"
James gave him a look, "Maybe. I haven't used yours."
"Good to know." Regulus nodded, once again getting tickled a the idea of james taking someone's phone, holding it up to their unconscious face to unlock it, and then checking his email. He shook the thought off, "So I'll get you're email?"
"Yes. You can write to me whenever you want, and I'll respond whenever I check."
"Will I still have to wait to find out when you're coming?"
"No. Today is the tenth, right?"
Regulus checked his phone, "Yes."
"Then I can return in 8 days and stay for 4... if you'll have me."
Regulus smiled, "Oh, I'll have you all right."
...
Regulus watched James get dressed one final time. "So where are you going?"
James glanced at him before turning back to the mirror to smooth out his collar, "I'm visiting a friend in Thailand. It's their rebirthday. 100 years ago, they were turned. They have quite a celebration planned."
"...Would I ever be able to meet one of you're immortal friends?"
"Um.." James made a face, "Not that one. But yes, I have a few that I would trust around you."
"Why not the one in Thailand?"
"... Some Immortals have less than favorable opinions on mortals."
"So I could meet them once you turn me?"
James rolled his eyes, "I must make my leave. I will see you in 8 days."
Regulus stood up from his spot on the bed and kissed his vampire, not enough to cause a delay, just enough to remember him by, "I'll email you."
"I'll be waiting."