Chapter Text
“What’s so funny you massive buffoon?!?” Shitspace growled out as banhammer leaned back a bit too hard and tipped my main sofa backwards, still laughing his guts out as Slingshot and Shuriken got taken out with him. Shuriken had the alertness to stand up just before the couch completely tipped, but Slingshot got caught with the couch and grumbled a bit as he pulled himself up.
“...What even happened, I know I saw him come in with pants before?” Slingshot said, mostly just confused to the whole turn of events as soon as the asshole scientist stood up to show off his bare crotch. It was fluffier than I was expecting really, though I wasn’t really expecting anything as the government sanctioned bio-terrorist is completely bald in the areas that he chose to show off in the light. That begrudgingly stylish turtleneck of his completely hiding any of the remaining fluff he had after whatever accident caused him to be disfigured like that.
“What about my pants!? These are the same reinforced combat pants that I always wear to Phi- Where the FUCK did they go??!?” He screeched as he looked down to glaze his own pants when he saw they were not on his body anymore.
Ok, how do I actually explain this to them? I had already put my phone away (After a picture and a video of the events taking place here) so it was not obvious that this was my fault, not that any of them would even be able to conceptualize the catalog and all that so… Hmm, maybe I can bring in Kelion perhaps? No, maybe, but not right now. Probably after I figure out what being ‘Aimmon of the End’ means for the long term, like clearly there’s a sealed super form transformation thing, the wings certainly could denote a 50% unlocked form or something… Whatever, something for MUCH later.
“Uh, I have kind of a theory but like, also not really one? Like, I really don’t know how to explain the disappearing pants other than NDA fucking with us in retaliation for everything that happened yesterday…” I said, coming up with something.
Subspace had taken to using one of my throw pillows to cover himself up while seething, and I could see the filters of his gas mask glowing a bright magenta as they worked overtime to filter out the crystal dust that he blew out with his every breath. “And, pray tell, what is this theory of yours?” he asked.
“Well, you know that book Ghosdeeri showed you when that phight hijack happened like a week ago? Well it also mentioned someone by the name of Memory Nullification Pen, so I’m thinking that they have some kind of ability to create conditions on when to activate something. Wouldn’t explain why- wait no, it would, if they got you or something when you came into the building…”
“That would imply that this Inphernal is still somewhere nearby, meaning we could find them.” Ghostwalker speaks up, having put his book away and leaned forward somewhat. “Though, without knowing what they look like, it would be a lost cause at this moment.” he continued, x eyes glancing over to Subspace.
I sighed, glad I had gotten a full wardrobe of multiple outfits in my closet in case of any random inspections by my friends or something of the like. I couldn’t rely on using my little Inventory Trick every time I wanted to change or keep a bunch of clothes. And while I did still have hundreds of new outfits I could try out at any time in my inventory, I had to take a few dozen out to populate my new walk in closet with. I even cheated and had Kelion implant memories on how to put on my techwear with expert practice. It didn't do anything for muscle memory of course, but I did know how to put everything on correctly now.
“Follow me, I have a bunch of dress pants in my closet, you can use one of those.” I said, I may hate the guy but I also felt a bit guilty about stripping him with no warning. Guilty about everything else, like all the destruction from my roleplaying in this world… Eh, jury’s still out on that, I’m holding off on processing everything still and have been since I first got here. That mental breakdown will be very destructive and long once I finally confront all the emotions that have been building up, but for now, it’s funny. “I spent good money on these too, so while they might not be up to the same standard as your old pants, they will at least last you till you get back to get new ones… Man, that feels weird to say about pants of all things…”
“And what of underwear? Do you just not have any?” He said, accepting the pants offer but being insufferable about it as expected.
“Didn’t know you wanted to wear my underwear dude, but if you want I have plenty in the drawer right next to the pants.” I said, making a small innuendo, that no one got of course. The lack of sex organs means the lack of jokes of that connotation, of course.
He gets up and gestures expectantly, I roll my eyes and lead him through my large bedroom and show him where in my closet I keep my pants and underwear. It was a very weird sidequest, but hey he found a set that he actually liked. Coming back out though, Banhammer had set my couch back down how it should be, most likely for the reason of wanting to sit down again and not because he felt sorry about tipping it over.
“So, before the whole side quest for Subspace’s pants, what were we discussing?” I asked.
“Why were you spotted flying out of the window of Blackrock Weapons Development Department’s lead researcher just minutes before he was found dead.”
“Oh yeah, he was the one orchestrating the whole event that took place yesterday, or something of the like I don’t really know.” I said, tapping into the memories that Kelion managed to save of my demon self for that last round before that contract fully took everything and blended it down to be less tortuous for my real self.
“What do you mean you don’t really know?!” Subspace said, standing up again in outrage after he sat down with my pants on.
“Hey, all I know is that sometime in the latter half of the time loop I was stuck in I read a funky golden book that let me use this frankly busted magic. I, being at least above average in intelligence, sacrificed 90% of the experience I gained in the almost 30 years I spent going through yesterday over and over again to bullshit a ‘perfect’ solution to the time loop.” I explained, summarizing basically what happened and keeping my face in a neutral frown as I noted out in my peripheral vision the others looking confused about what I said.
“If it so happened that he died, that means it was necessary that he needed to die. Easy as that.” I said a bit defensively to better sell it.
“I wasn’t informed of a timeloop.” Shuriken said, glancing over to Ghostwalker.
“I have no idea how it works either, but it only activated whenever I died and I woke up at exactly 7 in the morning almost 3,000 times. Actually, let's kill 2 birds with one stone here…” I said, looking around a bit for something I could write on before spotting my paper towels on the kitchen counter.
Walking over to them, sliding past Slingshot who stood up to try and block me, I pulled off a single sheet and pulled on my newest magic.
Contracting is… a lot more than just following what’s written on a piece of magic paper. While I could probably eventually just summon them to me how I want them structured like I could my gear, I couldn’t do that yet, though I could use my magic to write without a pen.
It only worked for contracts though, I would still need a pen or pencil to write literally anything else. The tip of my claw glowed a dull golden as I wrote shimmering gold letters on the paper towel in full view of all the Phighters and the God that had come for this… Interrogation? Intervention? Whatever it was.
Finishing it up, I blew it off a bit and a shower of gold sparks flew off the paper towel, vanishing into motes of pure mana to my eyes and getting absorbed into the atmosphere as I placed the thing down and spun it over for Subspace to read. “This is the magic that I had gotten as a result of the time loop, I call it Contracting. Or Dealmaking, that could work too.” I explained.
The terms written on the paper towel were rather simple.
“To any who sign here in agreement, the contractor (Rail Runner 5000) shall be unable to speak anything but the truth in regards to the events that transpired on December 10th, 2015, for the following 12 hours after the sealing of this Contract.
In exchange, any who sign this agreement will instantly know if anything the contractor (Rail Runner 5000) has said is incorrect to the best of his knowledge, to remove possible lies of omission, or any subsequent deception, for the following 2 hours after the sealing of this Contract.”
Something to show off I was telling the truth, to force them to understand that the truth I said was really true, and to demonstrate my new magic and also practice it somewhat. I already got a few insights on how to be a better contract rules lawyer from this even, thank you learning multipliers, I am going to have to get more of you.
“What is this?” Subspace asked after reading it.
“It's a contract.” “I know that you Imbecile, why are you presenting it?” “So we don’t have to waste time debating the events that happened? Have the other SFOTH been informed yet, Ghostwalker?” I asked to ghostbro who nodded.
“They have, a meetup has been scheduled for 30 minutes from now.” He said.
“Well there you go, time crunch, so sign the paper towel” I said, before continuing. “Just sign it with your finger, it's a magical contract.”
Subspace growled a bit but did so, signing the paper towel contract, no one else went for it though, just watching along.
“Any of you want something to drink?” I asked them.
“Sure, I could go for a soda now.” Shuri said with a bit of a shrug, Slingshot nods along with him. I got him a Cryptid (knockoff demon Monster Energy) and just a Bloxy cola for slingshot.
After that, I answered all the questions that I could, feeling Kelion’s gentle touch in my brain hiding things even from myself to loophole my own contract to better sell my story to everyone. Despite how it sounded, it felt rather nice to be connected to Kelion like this, like a mental hug of some kind, and wow that didn’t make it sound better.
Though we did have to cut the discussion short, Subspace having already gotten everything he wanted and just asking questions to get a better picture of the events that happened yesterday while he was still able to know it was the absolute truth. Ghostwalker standing up and stepping in between us to put a stop to the back and forth.
“It’s time to go, Mr. Runner 5000.” He said.
“Oh god that feels weird to hear, just call me Rail, please.” I said, getting a snort out of Banhammer. “Well that’s that, I guess, try not to break anything on the way out.” I said to the gathered Phighters before taking Ghostwalker’s outstretched hand.
The transition was pretty much instantaneous, with no side effects to the teleportation as I stood on solid marble in the Heights Temple. Glancing around to take in the architecture of the single most important place in the Inpherno and letting go of Ghostwalker’s hand, the 6 other SFOTH already having arrived and taken their seats as Ghostwalker teleports into his own throne thing. I kept my gaze on Illumina, who sat on the largest and highest seat in the center, like the fuckin’ egomaniac he was, but it was hard not to notice Icedagger’s muted fidgeting while he looked around at literally anything other than myself.
“Sooooooo…. Why are we here for this mortal?” Darkheart said, characteristic smirk on his face as he leans over and turns to Ghostwalker.
“You didn’t tell them?” I asked the god of souls, turning to him with a bit of forced annoyance that seemed to cause Illumina’s eye to twitch a bit. “You will address all of us with Respect, mortal.” Illumina all but growled out. “But yes, what is it that you elected not to tell us, Brother?”
“It would have saved us all lots of time if he simply showed it to you.” Ghostwalker said before nodding towards me. He was clearly suggesting I pulled out my copy of his sword, so I did that.
Of course, if I took my time to do it on the pretense of having to bargain away my experience to win the loop, well, who’s he to try to refute me. I closed my eyes and straightened myself out, breathing in and out slowly as I cycled through my mental inventory of gears and items, placing the Ghostwalker into my ‘hotbar’ so to say. Second slot, right next to my own namesake, I breathed out calmingly and pushed my wings out of my back and felt the hilt of a sword that was too light to be a sword fill my outstretched empty hand.
I heard small gasps from up ahead as the gods before me all went pretty much dead silent, opening my eyes to them just for them all to gasp a second time.
“Yeah so, very early on in the events that took place yesterday, I cut myself on Lord Ghostwalker’s sword and, I don’t know made a copy? My own? Came with the wings though so like, something fucky happened that I can’t really explain beyond ‘Epoch did it’.” I said, inspecting the sword in my hand before unequipping it. Stretching out my wings to their fullest capacity and sighing in relief as the stiffness I felt in them this entire time I had them hidden got released, doing a few upper body stretches as I did so.
“You got cut on his sword and survived? How?” Windforce said, leaning forward like a pro gamer would when they lock in, being uncharistically serious for all that I knew her to be up till now. “Like I said, no idea, probably had something to do with the time loop though. But I’m not exactly against attempting it with another one of your swords. Already died too many times to care about the consequences by now” I said.
“Are you going through another time loop right now?” Ghostwalker said.
“No, just after going through all that and not getting nearly enough sleep after the whole debacle, what’s one more death to the pile, you know?” I said, shrugging it off a bit.
“Your wings have the symbol of the Spawn, and your eyes have a symbol I’ve never seen before.” Illumina said, flying down from his chair to land in front of me. Unsheathing his own sword, glowing brightly enough that I needed to squint to make out its shape for the most part.
Glancing up at the large togaman, I lift up a hand slowly, glancing to him to see if I would be doing anything wrong to touch the blade itself and ‘unlock’ the power of the Illumina myself, to prove it or whatever. Now the question was, did I want to keep it as a cut based thing or would touching the sword be enough for this…
Really the only one I’d have to look out for is Icedagger and his instant kill, but even then it shouldn’t be too difficult… Wait, I'm immune to temperature, it’ll be fine. Even if its not, I’ll just respawn in a few seconds. With that decided, I lightly skid the fleshy part of my index claw along the edge of the light sword, summoning my own Illumina to my other hand a second later and holding it up to compare.
Smaller, sure, to match my much more normal 5’10 size compared to Illumina’s whopping 12, but the glow was, literally identical, and it didn’t hurt my eyes to completely open them anymore. And on top of even that, I could see the shape of the sword like the light wasn’t even there.
“Hmm, it’s real. Tell us more about this Time Loop, now?” The big guy in charge due to temperamental whining said as he flapped his big wings and sat himself back down on his big uncomfortable looking throne chair.
“First, context I think is required for the events that led up to it. You caught up with Ghosdeeri at all yet, Ghostwalker?” I said.
“Should I have?” He said, answering that question. I groan in annoyance at having to explain this myself without backup but its fine, Kelion was probably already messing with their heads as Illumina would never normally just do that, with a ‘mortal’. Or maybe because I’m clearly more than a mortal he’s seeing me in a better light? That feels more correct and… Oh, the gut feeling is coming from my new lightsaber. Cool, I can copy their domains slightly too.
“Alright so, about 2 weeks ago, like almost the day after I moved back to Crossroads from Playground, I refound a book that my dad had discovered while out on an expedition to the Wilds. Found it in the kitchen stuff funny enough, anyways, most of the book was in dialects I had no idea how to read, so I wanted to go get it translated to see why my dad thought it was a good idea to spend most of the rest of his life studying it.” I started, glancing around in the empty main hall of the Heights Temple for somewhere to sit before just shrugging and sitting on the floor.
“There were a few entries written in the book that he couldn’t translate into common At All, despite them already being written in common, at least to me, found out later that they’re not and thats a whole different thing. Anyways, I wrote down the name of the book, Singularis by Epoch by the way, on like a sticky note or something and that’s what started my dad on the path to finally being able to decipher the dialect. Then he died, leaving me with everything. Come back to the day after I arrived at Crossroads, I was like “Oh hey, its this book, I can only read the Common entries and the title and a few scattered ones that look really weird so let me find someone to translate for me.” So I looked around and eventually made my way to Ghosdeeri’s library. I wasn’t there to get help from here, I was more there to contribute it to her library and just hoping to find the finished version in like a year when I remembered it again.” “Turned out, she just, straight up knew every dialect off the top of her head. So she read the first few entries and well, she said that while there was less detail, all of the events in the book had lined up 100% perfectly to events in real history, even the minor things that very few would know about.” I said, a look of realization dawning on Ghostwalker’s very hard to read face, and surprisingly enough, Icedagger’s too. The others didn’t really get it yet, or in the case of Venomshank, I couldn’t read them even with the Illumina’s help as he had a mask on. Very strange limitation for a sword with a connection to the Mind, but maybe it's just enhancing my own emotion understanding abilities so, meah.
“This seems like it will be a rather long explanation, would it be acceptable for you all if you were to allow Rail here to obtain your own swords as well?” Ghostwalker cut in. Seeming to snap the others out of their thoughts, with Icedagger flinching somewhat at it.
“Huh? Oh, uh, yeah sure Im fine with that, not like there’s anything bad with it right?” Mothboy said, and before the others could really say anything about it he flew down. Despite his twinkish and cute frame, he was actually like 6’2, so it was a bit strange in a sort of cognitive dissonance for me to see him taller than me. It was a good kind of weird though as I flapped my own wings to stand up quicker as he held up his blade. I hesitated a bit like I did for illumina but cut my thumb on the sword, doing a little pyrokinesis trick of pulling all the heat out of my thumb to flash freeze it before thawing it out just as quickly when I equipped the sword as well.
Having both the Illumina and the Icedagger out at the same time. I spoke lightly to the god of ice and snow before he flew back to his seat at the very end of the throne line up thing. “You know, daggers are very different from how swords swing, would you mind, uh, practicing with me I guess, later? I only learned how to throw a specific type of knife yesterday over the course of a few years of trial and error, so practicing with someone who knows what their doing would help out a lot.” I said, lightly guilt tripping him while also pointing him in the same training direction that ICPA Gamer Icedagger went, with assassin practice and knife skills, rather than honor duals and fencing like the other SFOTH seemed to enjoy for the most part.
It was almost impossible to miss the sudden blue blush on his face as he turned back around and nodded at me with a smile, his wings flapping imperceptibly to carry him to his chair as Illumina glared at him somewhat.
“Before we even reached a decision.” Illumina said disapprovingly, Icedagger shying away into his fluffy coat somewhat.
“You already let him have yours…”
“Because I know my own blade best, and have full confidence I would be able to overpower his inexperience with finesse.” Illumina scolded and was clearly about to continue, but I wouldn’t let him talk to mothboy like that.
Man this feels slightly contrived, though because of that I knew that this really was Kelion pushing things in my favor like some kind of knockoff Mary Sue power. Sure she sucks, but she only sucks when you’re not the one benefiting from it.
“Can I get back to the explanation now? Or are you going to keep dunking on Icedagger?” I said, causing Windforce to crack a smile.
“Oh I like him, no respect but falls in line.” She said, which, kinda sorta outta character but honestly excuse to use aerokinesis in public. I can finally practice shit like air barriers and vacuums and shit rather than just weird aircurrents. She teleports in front of me, blasting me with a burst of wind as she basically stabs me in the hand.
I say basically because she did the motion to do just that, but pulled back to just graze the back of my hand as she grabbed it. With the Windforce in my offhand though, she floats up and zooms back to her seat.
“Hehehe, oh we have to get in on this~” Dark heart said, from behind me. I didn’t even notice when he left despite the super eyesight, and he was by far the most extra of them so far as he pressed his sword to my neck as he held my arm from behind, like in a neck snap position. Sliding his namesake along the underside of my chin and shaving the neck fluff I had there before giving me a little nick at the tip of my chin. And that’s Darkheart down. Before I even knew it he was back in his seat and… I could feel, something there too. With all the swords out I had weird extra senses of course but they were something instinctive and unobtrusive.
What I got from the darkheart, wasn’t darkness related. If anything it kinda felt like it had more to do with Time than it did Darkness, but whatever, I’ll figure it out later.
‘Would you please allow me to purchase that Multiverse Portal UGC you had saved, My Lord? I know how much you’ve been wanting to include it into your little plot here and the next events after I have Firebrand and Venomshank join their siblings requires you to have it.’ Kelion’s voice echoed into my brian, I gave him a wordless concept that encompassed agreement and gratitude, the small tiny bit of enochian that I had him teach me that wouldn’t destroy my mind to understand at this stage. Not even a word, just the ability to think in concepts for a short time rather than a verbal language.
I ‘felt’ the portal enter my inventory, ready to be used at a moment's notice. That’s that part down, and also confirmation that I Wasn’t seeing things and my bux account really did have a few too many zeros to it.
Illumina was pinching the bridge of his nose area. “Fine, I guess there’s no point discussing it now.” He said, which was basically confirmation for that funny old man that was Sword’s dad to get carried down by the ridiculously small bird friend of his.
“Sword had already told me that Ghosdeeri warned all the phighters about that creature’s attack from a strange book. Thank you for indirectly saving my son.” Venomshank said with a little nod as he gently pokes my arm, though despite my own copy of the venomshank appearing, the encroaching venom from the blade continued to raise up my arm in sickly glowing green veins.
Before I even knew what happened, the world was grey and I had my respawn menu out in front of me. Sighing in the frozen space, I looked up to see all the gods stood up swords drawn, moving to attack at the sudden turn of events.
It was a rather strange sight to see from them when before they were so, well, kinda bored about the whole thing actually. I wished I could take a picture of the scene before accepting a respawn right then and just letting the ability be shown off to them all.
I woke up with a gasp and a cough, hacking out some gross green shit from my lungs as I got up to my feet on mostly shaky legs, using my new green rapier to steady myself as I used it as a cane, pointedly ignoring it When Illumina and Firebrand rushed back to their thrones to try to play off their panic despite being the ones to lead the pack.
“Are you ok!?” Icedagger said, having continued his course to my side to inspect me and freeze the wobbling slime puddle of zombie sludge stuff. Mothboy is so nice, I hope author me doesn’t make a weird omake about him with me… Actually no I absolutely want that to happen, I’d buy an Icedagger body pillow like Collab AU me did…
“Y-Yeah just, catching my breath… Fuck that shit is not fun bro, whooof, burny freezing caffeine overdose and a sudden allergy to my own spit.” I shook myself a bit, mostly to restabilize my brain after the effects of sudden temporary zombification.
I unsummoned all the other sfoth swords besides the Venomshank Rapier I was using as a cane. “Alright, we done then?”
“Clearly not a mortal, and he already has the others…” Firebrand said cupping his chin. I could see the tired look Illumina was giving him as he flew down and brought out his big fuckass overcompensation sword. Glowing in pure heat rather than light, that was fine though, as I already knew I could handle this small amount of heat. Don’t know if the limit is the same as Pyrokinesis’s implied temperature limit of 80 billion, but there are very few things that can get up to that temperature in the whole of the multiverse. And those that do are safely locked away in the deepest depths of Cultivator Cosmologies of which I will never be going to at any point despite the rewards one could get for braving them.
I reached out with a shaking hand and let my flesh sizzle on the flaming blade, it didn’t hurt of course as I was just cooling the tips of my fingers down a bit with PK, but I cut my whole palm on the blade in my remaining weakness as I held my own Firebrand in my hand. Despite this being part of my plan, something unexpected happened as a result of being ‘blessed’ with all 7 swords.
I had gained another halo. I already had 4 of them, one the normal distance from my head wrapped around the longs of my top horns, and 3 at the base, middle, and tip of my tail, just before the spaded arrow at the end began. But this new one was, rather large above me. Not moving with the direction of my head like the one around my horns, but just hovering just above the very tips of my top horns. Staying in the same place directly above my head no matter how I tilt, like a flat saucer anchored to my scalp or something. It had 4 ‘spikes’ to it, and was an appreciable dark lavender color, like a demon halo rather than a gold angel halo, which would fit with the symbolism…
Crossover you sly dog, I love you.
‘Beginning now’ Kelion’s voice echoed in my head as I looked straight ahead suddenly, eyes widening as I spun around behind me holding the Firebrand out by the large flat of the boiling blade as it was the largest one I had access to and used it to block the sudden shockwave that sent me skidding back, only being held upright by the weight of the sword of fire and a sneaky air cushion created by my Aerokinesis.
“Well Well, it seems we have arrived just at the Perfect moment~” A new, shrill voice sounds out from a bit more towards the center of the temple. A demon with mismatched horns, holding a periastron sword in his offhand while his other was held behind his back stood at the front of two other demons. One of them typing something into some kind of scifi device, thinking about it now it kinda looked like that portal generator from Avengers 2011, and the other simply standing my in a snazzy suit and fedora.
The main antagonist has arrived.
“Now, let us begi-” There was a loud noise followed by a plinking sound as I shot my Railgun at the cloaked badguy, having shot a full power shot that launched my gear out of my grip as I didn’t want to deal with all that recoil. The spiraling spike of pure tungsten creating an air vortex against the ‘blade’ of the blue unicorn horn sword in the hooded demon’s hand.
He mimed a yawn as I resummoned my gear and shot again, to which he casually flicked his wrist and shot the caught bullet right at my own to parry it. “Are you fin-” I don’t let him speak as I resummoned my railgun and switched to rapid fire, watching as his arm blurred and deflected every single round I had shot over the 12 seconds I spent firing.
My railgun had infinite ammo, but that didn’t mean it had infinite charge to shoot that ammo, of which I found that 12 seconds of constant fire would deplete it and cause it to need to recharge. Not even the little trick I discovered to unsummon and resummon my gear to remove the cooldown for the big shot mode worked to recharge it faster.
“There we go, got it all out of your system, brat? Good.” The main demon said. “Charging finished, activating.” The demon messing with the device beside the main guy said, after flipping some kind of switch thing a dome of hexagonal energy plates spread out from the tip of the device, with a second smaller one spreading out over the device and the operator itself.
“Good, Perfect! Now even when those false gods behind you gather their wits and try to do something they will be unable~ It's a shame that Flare’s only working prototype lasts only a minute or so~” He said, glancing behind me, it would seem that the SFOTH were already trying to get through the barrier but couldn’t, their attacks not even scratching the energy field no matter what they did. I had no idea how Kelion was managing to do this, but it sold the act amazingly.
“Now then, where was I~? Oh yes, Introductions! Greetings, False gods, Aimmon of the End, I am Azure Periastron. Please call me Michael~ To my right is Point to Point Teleporter, operating the Karmic Deterrence Field Generator, and to my left is Memory Nul-” There was a discharge as I shot out my rifle at the clone body of Memory Null Pen. Having finished recharging power entirely before turning to shoot at Point, only for the shield around him to ricochet the tungsten slug into the marble floor harmlessly, stealing most of its momentum and bringing its speed down from an appreciable fraction of the speed of light down to barely faster than a normal bullet.
“...Was, to my left Was Memory Nullification Pen. Oh well, too late to stop us anyways~”
“You’re Insane.” I said in monotone.
“Of course I am~ Any normal mortal having gone through all that I had would be the same~”
“So, I just have to stand here and take it?”
“Absolutely, Aimmon~ Or, I would love to take care of you permanently, but as the 4,718 times you went through today just to spite me has shown, I certainly can't do that without significantly more planning~ So, I'm taking care of you for the time being, leaving you indisposed~”
“45 seconds.” Point said, looking at some kind of screen on the shield generator.
“The what?”
“Did you think your whole superpower was unknown to us~? No no dear Aimmon, while getting rid of you yesterday was the main goal, the secondary one was to figure out how to replicate that little time looping trick you do subconsciously~”
“30 seconds.”
“Right right. Now this weapon, I'm sure your father has shown you the schematics before yes~? He certainly was one of the smarter researchers at my organization before I took the helm~” Azure said, Point glanced over to him before something that looked like the Despicable Me shrink ray appeared in the air. Azure easily caught it and showed it off.
“Thats the-”
“Subatomic quantum destabilizer, correct!” He said, pointing the large spinny camera-like end towards me. “Don’t bother dodging, I’ve done this enough that I know everywhere you could dodge to~ It wont stick, of course, nothing would with that insufferable little ‘condition’ of yours. But it’d certainly only do me well to send you off without issue for a few months to a year~”
“15 seconds.”
“This is goodbye for now, Aimmon of The End~” The destabilizer spins up to charge its blast, not unlike my own railgun does before I fire it. I felt that it would take a little bit though so I just turned to the side and looked back.
“Seems like training will have to wait, Icedagger.”
“Wow, how Cliche.” Azure said with a little sneer as the gun fires an arc of yellow right at me. I flinch a bit at it but despite being struck with the clear beam of electricity-like energy I don’t feel anything.
I inspect myself over with a bit of confusion.
“Just give it a second, takes a bit to cook, y’know? Right, well, we must be off now. Chao!” And with another shockwave, they were gone, along with the body and all of the blood.
The device, still active, then suddenly sparks and catches fire, causing the shield to flicker out. And it was also then that the first of the ‘destabilizations’ happened. Kelion in my mind gently prodding things to seem like one of my wings was just floating in front of me detached, then the colors of my clothes changed, bits of me flickering and glitching visibly as I mentally queued up the Multiverse Portal.
I pulled it out, but didn’t see it. Then the floor gave out under me and all I saw was, blurry.
There was no point in yelling out, because if I did then I’d let whatever the hell kind of shitty void water liquid I was currently floating around inside of aimlessly into my mouth, and I absolutely did not want that to happen for whatever reason. Flailing my arms as I looked around in the blurry endlessness of stuff in every direction and an all encompassing blinding darkness permeating everything here in what are CLEARLY the Blind Eternities, I reach out for literally anything to get out of this confusing mess of contradictory sensory information.
Something brushing up into my chest, I grabbed onto the incredibly familiar metallic yet plush object as I felt my legs clip into something, then I was falling. But not in random directions that tasted like yellow this time, but down, with gravity, in a place, that’s not suspiciously moist!
It was only after a few seconds that I realized that I was looking at a blue sky, and barely a second later I had landed directly on top of something that broke my fall. Still hurt like a bitch of course, even with demon durability making taking it easier I think I broke something in my ass as I stumbled up to my feet and looked around.
Dudes with swords, in kimonos, on some flat ground. This one orange haired guy with a swastika on his sword too that looked really familiar, looking down at what I grabbed in the transition, it was Kelion. Who somehow seemed, a bit traumatized if that shivering eye of his in the center of his main body or the way his hand wings held me tightly was any indication. Looking down more to see what I landed on…
“Is that fucking Aizen Sosuke?” I stared down at the downed human looking man that I had taken out with my ass, not really comprehending the situation I found myself in before my footing shifted again and I fell backwards into another portal.
I didn’t have the breath I had last time I fell in though, so it was a terrible feeling of drowning as well as falling through eternity hugging my emotional support ophanim to anchor myself to the real as I felt a horn clip something this time and I fell into a bedroom with a loud thump.
“Oh what the… Room?” I said, pushing myself up and rubbing my neck as I landed directly on my face this time. I cracked my neck a bit, moving it around as I slid myself off the bed that I had apparently landed on.
“RAIL??!” I froze as someone yelled from behind me, doing an awkward little half turn thing to face whoever the owner of the feminine voice was.
“Yeeesss?- Wai- Huh? Celestial Microphone?” I said, starting out in the dumb overtone of someone who got caught doing something before pivoting it to more confounded confusion that conveyed my conundrum. A lot of C’s.
"FUCKING. WHAT. UH - How are you- holy shit- I-" She said, for a given word of ‘said’ anyways.
“Uh Uh, Favorite song, so you stop stuttering!” I thought up quickly, this was clearly a fated chance meeting so another portal was probably only seconds away now.
"Wh- Snow by Ricky Montgomery right now, it changes though, next - wait, no, are you - you're HERE! How are you here, how did you find me- wait WAIT NO DON'T-" She noticed the swirl before I felt the pull of gravity force me down into the latest portal, in the half second that I was able to still be heard I did manage to respond though.
“I’LL FIND YOU!” I shouted out before clenching my lips shut as I fell back through the gap between all realities.
The further lack of air in my lungs burned all the hotter, but I stuck it out as I really did not want to breathe in the void liquid until I got confirmation from Crossover that it would be fine. My internal monologue getting cut as whatever else was forced out of my lungs as I got hit in the gut with something before landing in some kind of hot liquid, my mouth opening to taste incredible sweetness and a savory flavor not unlike my favorite boba tea boba balls.
It wouldn’t last long though, but I wouldn’t have to worry about drowning as I got launched out into the gap between worlds and into another new world near immediately after, gasping for breath as I met with cold air.
Head swimming, belly full of delicious suspicious fluid, weird smell being caught in my nose as I coughed up a red fluid. My head swam, my vision blurred both from the red liquid as I took in that sweet oxygen as best I could, still coughing out more shit. It wasn’t my blood, my blood was blue, but it sure did look a lot like human blood, and taste like it too.
Hey that rhymed- “Well well, what’s this? Strange portal in the middle of this fine night on the eve of a grand adventure!”
“Why are you talking like that, Gojo?” “Aww can’t I have a little fun with the curse-like non-curse? Look at it, doesn’t that look like the kind of entity that needs a bit of cheering up?” “It looks like it just bathed in a fuckton of human blood to me.”
“Whaus huh? Whaos ther??” I slurred out, stumbling to my feet but tripping over myself on nothing, why was I tripping? My head swam more as I took deep breaths, flipping myself onto my back to take clearer breaths, the action already clearing up my head a bit as I lean to the side to try and push myself up again. The green portal behind me flashing as Kelion popped out, completely clean, before it disappeared.
“Wait Gojo Sensei, you said non-curse? How, this is clearly a curse?” A very familiar voice said, gojo was a very familiar name, too, something even I in my drunken state could remember rather well.
“Hwha? Gorjorg soutououru? Homlry sifht can I geat ae selphe???” I attempted to say, pushing myself up off the ground with steadier hands and a slightly clearer head as I stumbled onto my feet, Kelion pushing his body into my own to help stabilize me as I reached for my phone. It would be then that I see that I looked really gross, so with a quick but powerful application of Pyrokinesis and Aerokinesis to completely burn off everything covering me, I resummoned my clothes and was back to being completely clean again as I sped walked over to take a few selfies with Gojo
And also a few with Yuji and Megumi before I fell again into a random portal below my feet.
Flailing around in the blind eternities until I caught something with a hand that pulled me right in, I finally had the mind to unsummon the portal entirely, sending it back into my inventory. The best idea drunk me ever had, as now I was for sure not going to end up falling into new places anymore as I get launched sideways into some rather heavily armored individuals.
“Woah hey, Jessie! Whatever was on the other side of that portal really wanted to come out!” A familiar voice said. “Owww…” I groaned, having to feel my horns throbbing from all the falling and the sudden stop on some incredibly tough armor.
“Well, it speaks english, maybe it could be friendly?” A second familiar voice said.
“I don’t think groaning in pain counts as english, Lukas” “Ow, ok, note to self, don’t… ow, alright who’s talking?” I said, pushing myself up off of the downed body I had found myself on, having to rub my eyes clean to get the blur out as I saw a rather minecrafty room.
“See? It does speak english?” “Oh, thanks for bringing this back to me, Jessie.” A new voice spoke.
This whole event was, very incredibly familiar, the glowing blue portal behind me, the purple armor and spiked shoulders, despite the lack of a consistently blocky aesthetic it was actually pretty clear where I had found myself.
Minecraft: Story Mode.
AN: Heyo guys, so yeah this is the end of arc 1, taking suggestions for the next universe Rail lands in (Even though I already got a checklist, I can be persuaded to go off script)
Hiatus too, might literally be shorter than my upload schedule (every 2 weeks apparently) so don't lose hope, this is just an official thing while I read up on lore stuffs for the places Im shoving rail into.
Also, here, the final two of the Inpherno lineup for your mental image pleasure
discord name is chaoticinfluencerai dm me anytime I love interaction!
ps: for those who didn't get it the ocean of blood that rail took a little dip in was Iron Lung :3c
pps: extra funny angsty shit, emergency flare gun and azure periastron were in a relationship before azure went insane :3 (This was before flare adopted Rail in the backstory rail's concocted) to the point that they made out sloppy style pretty much every day. Flare was the real genius of the group and all his shit got coopted by Azure. And yes, Azure is actually barefoot, has little pawbs :333333